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7 Ways To Find The People Who Really Get You

7 Ways To Find The People Who Really Get You

There’s nothing better than surrounding yourself with people who understand you. Whether that means listening to your innermost thoughts or knowing just what you want for Chinese takeout, it’s nice to be around those who get you. If you’re still looking for those people, don’t fret! Here are seven ways to find people who really, truly understand you.

1. Do what you want to do.

If you want to sit around and watch the ducks at the park, go do that. And hey, you never know—there might be someone there doing the same exact thing. You never know who shares you interests or hobbies, so by doing what you want, you’re sure to find others who are doing that same thing for the same reason. Common interests are also a great starting point for any kind of relationship, be that a friendship or something more. I met my best friend in college at a free cupcake table in our freshman dorm. We bonded over the fact that we were the only ones who seemed to be eating more than one cupcake. She gets me.

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2. Join a club.

If you’re having trouble finding people who are interested in the same things you’re interested in, consider joining a club. You’d be surprised how many organizations there are for just about everything you could possibly imagine. Clubs also have the added benefit of structure. This means that you’re more likely to see the same people more than once since meetings or gatherings happen on a semi-regular basis.

3. Approach people.

You’re never going to get anywhere unless you become comfortable talking to people you don’t know very well (or at all)! In order for people to get you, they have to get to know you first. Be friendly, smile, make eye contact—you know the drill. People will appreciate the extra step you took to meet them, and they’ll remember you for it.

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4. Be outgoing.

No, you don’t have to talk to everyone and be super peppy. But try to be as approachable as possible. That way, people are more likely to come talk to you. Showing your interest in others is a great first step to making long-lasting friendships.

5. Be honest.

If you’re not totally into Star Wars, don’t say that you are just to make a new friend. I actually did that once, even though it had been years since I had seen the movies. My friend found out pretty quickly, and my punishment was to watch all of the movies in twenty-four hours. Though that turned out well for me in the long run (though that 24 hour period is one giant blur of lightsabers and droid noises), it doesn’t always end up that way. Be honest and open about who you are. After all, people can’t get you if you’re not acting like yourself.

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6. Participate.

I remember doing icebreakers exercises at camps when I was a kid. I hated them because I was worried I would say something stupid. Turns out, it was stupid to not participate, because I often ended up wondering who I could eat lunch with and was coming up blank. Remember that it’s important to engage with others and the group, even if it seems scary at the time. Putting yourself out there can reap some major benefits down the road.

7. Be optimistic.

It can be really frustrating to feel like you’re not getting anywhere with making friends. However, it’s not going to help if you’re pessimistic about the situation. Try to stay positive. If you’re down, other people will pick up on that and that might deter them from approaching you. On the other hand, staying positive will show others that you’re a confident, fun person (because you are!)

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Featured photo credit: *vlad* via flickr.com

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Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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