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7 Simple Tips On How To Become a Better Person By Increasing Your Self-Esteem

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7 Simple Tips On How To Become a Better Person By Increasing Your Self-Esteem

If I were to put it into simple words, then self-esteem simply means self-worth. Whatever you think of yourself is your self-esteem. If you think of yourself as a person worthy of love, respect, praise and any other positive attributes, then your self-esteem is high; on the other hand, if you think of yourself as a worthless, unlovable loser, then you are definitely running low on the fuel called “self-esteem,” which can greatly affect your productivity and happiness.

It is extremely important to have high self-esteem in most areas of life. Being humble is one thing, but being low in self-esteem is another; therefore, if you want to live a humble life, you still need confidence to stick with your humbleness, which can only come with high self-esteem. Here are some steps that, if followed, can increase your self-esteem and help you become a better person.

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Never Compare‒

The first step that you need to take for increasing your self-esteem and becoming a better person is to stop comparing yourself with other people. Believe it or not there will always be other people who are better than you in one thing or another; therefore, instead of comparing yourself and feeling low, consider the fact that you are the only you in this world‒there is no one else like you, and the package in the form of you is unavailable anywhere else. Thinking this way will make you feel confident and help you to stop comparing yourself to others.

Think Well of Yourself‒

You cannot possibly have a high self-esteem if everything you think about yourself is negative. If your head is full of negative comments about yourself, then you would never be able to gain confidence and rise and shine. Therefore, eliminate the negative phrases and start feeling good and thinking positive about yourself.

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Accept Praise‒

You can be as humble as you want, but if you wish to increase your self-esteem and be a better person, then you need to accept praise and compliments, as they make you feel good about yourself. As a result, you will start to think yourself worthy of doing better things.

Better Company‒

Another step that you can take to increase your self-esteem is to sit in the company of people who make you feel good and worthy when you are around them. Therefore, find people who have high self-esteem and who put positive ideas and thoughts in your mind. Hence, avoid the company of people with a negative aura and sit around people who breed goodness.

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Take Support‒

The next step which you need to take pertaining to boosting your self-esteem is to take all the help you can from all the resources possible. There are books, seminars, conferences, and tapes that can help you give insight to increasing your self-esteem; thus, by taking assistance from them, you can increase your self-esteem and become a better person.

Remember Past Glories‒

No matter how much of a “loser” a person is, everyone has at least one achievement in life of which they are proud. In order to boost your self-esteem, remember all the past glories you have achieved. By doing so, you will get the confidence that is required to boost your self-esteem.

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Make a List of Positives‒

One of the concluding steps you can take to boost your self-esteem is to make a list of all your positive qualities and attributes, and whenever you’re in a situation where you feel your esteem going down, recall the list and identify the traits that counter the situation. By doing so, you will find yourself worthy of facing any difficulty or challenge while remaining confident.

Now it’s Your Turn!

Are you one of those who made the journey from low to high self-esteem? How did you manage to do that? Which steps did you take? What kind of support did you take and how did you find your way through? Share your insightful experience with us.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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