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7 Reasons Why You Won’t Be Happy No Matter How Hard You Try

7 Reasons Why You Won’t Be Happy No Matter How Hard You Try

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.” –Audrey Hepburn

Ever had the experience of sinking so far into the “depths of despair” that you couldn’t seem to find a way out? Or the experience of trying everything, only to find the same bleakness surrounding you?

You are not alone.

We live in an increasingly negative world; a world in which those who want to be happy are often labeled as weird or selfish (or both!)

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If you’re feeling downtrodden, as if nothing you do makes a difference, consult these 7 common happiness pitfalls.

1. Your happiness is dependent upon external things.

True happiness comes from within. Happiness can never be constant if it always relies on something else.

If your happiness relies on the number of miles you run, the number of friends you have, or the amount of promotions you make, you will never be truly happy. Instead, work to find your inner joy by practicing mindfulness and self-love.

2. You fear being alone.

Solitude is a beautiful thing, but for some reason, many people fear it. But happiness can only be constant if it is found from within, whether you are in the presence of others or without them. You will never be truly happy if you fear being by yourself.

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If you find yourself feeling the need to be around people all the time, or find yourself feeling massive pangs of loneliness anytime you spend time by yourself, you may have some work to do. Try adding a solitary activity you enjoy into your weekly schedule or mindful activities such as yoga.

3. You allow your happiness to depend on others.

Happiness should only depend on one person and one person only: yourself.

If you find that you are relying on the approval of other people in order to feel happy about yourself, you have a problem. Try exercising positive affirmations such as “I am more than enough.”

4. You don’t know the difference between self-awareness and self-loathing.

Self-awareness is nonjudgmental acknowledgment of feelings and thoughts as they pass through you; self-loathing is self-judgment of actions, characteristics, thoughts, and feelings.

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If you find yourself getting confused between the two, you will find it difficult to be happy. The key is to silence the ego, and observe your feelings and thoughts as if you were a third party. This is self-awareness: non-judgmental observation. Try yoga, meditation, or other mindfulness activities to increase your self-awareness.

5. You compare your life with others.

One definitive downside to living in the age of technology is the increasing access we have to compare our lives with others. With Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets, it is ever so easy to get snippets of other people’s lives, and compare our own lives with theirs.

If you find that you spend a large amount of time downsizing your own life in relation to others, try exercising power mantras daily that remind you of your uniqueness.

6. You hang around negative thinkers.

Our environment shape us into the person we are. Who you hang around makes a large difference: if you hang around people who support you, encourage you, and lift you up, your life will move in positive directions. If, however, you hang around a large number of negative thinkers who suck the life out of you, their negativity will begin rubbing off onto you and your life.

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If you find that the majority of your friends bring you down, consider exploring new social circles.

7. You’re in a career you hate.

We spend over 40 hours a week investing in our careers (and, more often than not, it’s closer to 50+ hours). That is a huge amount of our daily lives. If these hours are spent investing in careers that we despise, we will more than likely become unhappy.

If you find that you are in this situation – you spend your 40+ hours at the office despising every minute and counting down the seconds until you get to leave – it may be time to consider other options. Try researching new career options, building a project on the side, or getting career counseling.

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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