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Last Updated on November 14, 2017

7 Reasons Why You Need To Let Go of A Toxic Relationship

7 Reasons Why You Need To Let Go of A Toxic Relationship

Everyone loves a happily ever after. I have more reason to know this than some because of my occupation. In the romance world, sure, the characters go through Hell with, for the sake of, and because of each other, but there’s always a subconscious assurance that everything’s going to turn out okay at the end. The happy couple will mount their magic unicorn and fly away on a cloud of pixie dust to live “happily ever after,” etc.

But this is the real world.

In the real world, people are not nearly as idealistic, idealized, or just plain ideal as they are in the pages of your favorite novel or on the silver screen. People have bad habits, attitudes, and problems that prevent a relationship from becoming everything it could be. It’s easy, in the throes of romantic love, to take the Barbara Cartland approach as summed up by Mercedes Lackey in Children of the Night: “Anything He does is okay as long as He loves you.” In reality, when we take off the rose-colored glasses, this is a warning sign of a relationship that, if it isn’t already, is about to become toxic. And, pro tip: This is not exclusively relegated to women’s dealings with men. Both genders and all sexual orientations are equally subject to this phenomenon. The possession of this or that genitalia does not predispose one to or make one immune from being a jerk.

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Walking away is hard. Why? Because, let’s be real here, being alone is a scary proposition for most people. Even the most cloistered introvert longs for human interaction, affection, and contact sometimes. But when a relationship turns toxic, especially if you have kids in the mix, the best thing you can do for you is get out. Here are 7 reasons why you need to let go of a toxic relationship for your own health, safety, and sanity!

1. It’s better to be alone than in bad company.

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    Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. Staying in bad company can actually be more hurtful and harder to bear than being by yourself. When you’re out of the relationship, you can look back and analyze what happened and what warning signs you should have seen coming. This can help you be prepared if the next relationship starts taking the same turns, so you can either correct it or get out before you become utterly miserable.

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    This is especially difficult when the toxic party in the relationship is a family member, such as a parent, sibling, or close relation. However, the same basic principles apply. Toxic people tend to stay toxic, but there’s no good reason for you to put up with it. If they want to be miserable, that’s their choice and their problem. You deserve to be happy, even if that means cutting them out of the equation of your life.

    2. Holding onto a toxic relationship prevents personal growth.

    One of the key signs of a toxic relationship is one party always heaping blame on the other. “You didn’t/You should have/Why did you…?” is an oft-heard refrain. This kind of constant browbeating prevents personal growth because it makes the person on the receiving end feel smaller and like their opinion and feelings don’t matter. This, in turn, leads to a stifling of personal growth, or even reversion back to older, less sophisticated forms of dealing with stress. A healthy relationship encourages growth and dialogue on both sides.

    3. Letting go of a toxic relationship creates room for a healthier one.

    Toxic relationships by their very nature push aside other relationships, such as with friends, family, and even co-workers. A toxic relationship is less than a step away from outright abuse, if it isn’t there already. By being willing to let go of a toxic relationship, you are subconsciously telling yourself and the world that you’re ready for something healthier and better with someone who loves and cares for you as much as you do him or her.

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    4. Toxic relationships often become abusive ones.

    abusedwoman

      I hammer on this point because it’s important: toxic relationships don’t have far to fall to become psychologically, emotionally, physically, or even sexually abusive. Especially if you have kids, you owe it to them to show them what an open, loving, caring relationship can be. Your children are going to follow your example, and if they see Mommy or Daddy staying with someone who constantly says she or he’s worthless or strikes him or her, your kids are going to fall into the same trap as adults. Brazening it out is your right as an adult, but you need to bear in mind that if your partner is willing to strike or emotionally hurt you, it’s likely only a matter of time before they start doing the same thing to your children because your partner doesn’t think you have the courage to stand up to them or leave.

      5. Walking away from a toxic relationship shows personal strength.

      “You couldn’t last one day without me.” “If brains were dynamite, you couldn’t blow your nose.” “You made me do that, you know.” All of these are flat-out lies, told by a toxic partner because your partner is trying to convince you it’s true precisely so you don’t walk out. Do not believe the lies or the hype here. Walking away shows personal strength and the courage to stand on your own two feet, without someone else rubber-stamping your daily activities or life.

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      6. A toxic relationship is unhealthy.

      Toxic relationships lead to social and emotional isolation. They can also cause anxiety, depression, physical illness, or even lead to suicidal thoughts and actions. This ignores entirely the possible emotional and physical harm an abusive partner can perpetrate on you. You’d be surprised just how cheap walking away is compared to therapy and anti-depressants, especially when children are involved.

      7. You are worth more than what a toxic relationship can offer.

      alone

        A toxic relationship is extremely one-sided. It’s all about one person to the exclusion of the other. This can leave you feeling worthless, hopeless, and helpless. The reality is, you are none of the above. You are your own person, with your own unique value and things to offer the world. Anyone who tells you otherwise is doing so precisely so they can keep you under their thumb. You know you’re worth more, so be worth more. Walking away from a toxic relationship is the first step to finding something beautiful with someone who will love and treasure you because of everything you are, not in spite of it.

        Prison Door

          No one should ever feel imprisoned in a relationship of any kind where their peace of mind, emotional and physical health, safety, or security is or could be compromised. You are a unique and beautiful individual with a lot to offer, and you owe it to yourself (and your children, where applicable) to find that special someone who sees and loves you for you, not what they think you should be. If you or someone you love is in a toxic relationship, and you can access a computer where the toxic partner cannot see your history, visit the National Domestic Abuse Hotline Website for advice and tips on how to get out of a toxic or potentially dangerous relationship. If you cannot, or if you need to talk to someone right away, call 1-800-799-7233 in the US for a voice line or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY users. In a worst-case scenario, dial 911 or your locally appropriate emergency services number. Don’t let someone else hold you prisoner in a toxic relationship.

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          Last Updated on October 18, 2018

          50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

          50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

          Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

          It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

          It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

          Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

          Quotes for self-assurance

          1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

            2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

              3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

                4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                  5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                    6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                      Quotes about positivity

                      7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                        8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                          9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                            10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                              11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                                12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                  13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                    Quotes for work and success

                                    14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                      15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                        16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                          17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                            18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                              19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                                20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                  21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                    22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                      23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                        24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                          25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                            26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                              27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                                28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                  29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                    30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                      31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                        32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                          33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                            34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                              35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                                36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                  37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                    38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                      39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                        40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                          41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                            42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                              43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                                44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                  45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                    Quotes about money

                                                                                                    46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                      47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                        48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                          49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                            50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                              51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                                If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                                How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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