6 Tips To Stop Whining

6 Tips To Stop Whining

Whining and griping over the small stuff in life feels natural to us and we are all guilty of it. It feels important to air these frustrations, and when we’re on the verge of doing so it’s almost impossible to stop ourselves. But in order to maintain healthy and whole relationships and a positive outlook in life, it’s equally important to recognize how often we complain, and if necessary, to cut back.

However, instead of trying to stop ourselves right while we’re on the brink of lamenting, we can make minor adjustments in our daily lives to avoid the urge altogether. This will allow us to gain insight on the little things that aren’t worth whining over and the bigger issues that require more attention. Here are 6 tips to keep you from whining:


1. Look Inward

Self-awareness is key. Take note of how often you find yourself complaining during your regular day, and try to figure out what triggers those complaints. Is it co-workers, your boss, your spouse, neighbors, traffic, weather? Is it everything, is nothing outside the wrath of your grumbling? Is it something you can control or something far beyond? Could it be dealt with peacefully and professionally, or is it destined to bother you for the remainder of your days? If you’re aware of how often you complain, what it pertains to, and how it can be dealt with, you’ll be more likely to assess whether there’s a larger issue you’re trying to get at, or if you have the tendency to gripe over things that aren’t worth the breath.

2. Look Outward

Think of the things or people in your life that make you happy or give you comfort. Take some time every day to list some of these. We’re all very grateful for the things we have, but if we don’t remind ourselves of our fortunes often, we’ll push the stuff that matters to the back burner and allow the negative influences to take over. Plus, when you’re right in the moment of feeling ‘complainy’, trying to list your fortunes will only result in that screaming inner voice yelling at you to shut up and let anger preside, so by adding it to your daily routine you’ll maintain a better overall sense of thankfulness and gratitude.


Also, think of the person whom the complaint pertains to. Is it the man sitting next to you in the coffee shop, for instance, who’s tapping his pen and it’s really bothering you? More often than not, if a person knew their actions were annoying other people, they’d stop. He’s not out to get you. He’s not intentionally getting under your skin. So think about whether it’s worth it to politely ask him to discontinue the tapping, or if the problem lies within your own sensitivity to noise and you should try to overcome it. (A self-proclaimed noise-a-phobe’s #1 trick: bring headphones with you wherever you go.)

3. Take Your Time

A lot of our complaints come about when we’re feeling impatient or when we’re in a hurry. Standing in a long line, waiting in traffic, or waiting on someone else to complete a task you could do in half the time are all instances when we’re in a high state of agitation, and anything can set us off. These days long lines, traffic jams or slow drivers are the perfect excuse to get on our Facebook pages and leave passive-aggressive posts, such as, “Dear Mr. Slow Driver McGoing Nowhere, I’ve got places to be so HURRY UP … ” But we’d be a lot less irritated if we allowed ourselves more time, slowed our pace, and enjoyed the ride; and we’d spend more time posting about the little things we notice or the things that make us laugh or smile, rather than what drives us nuts.


4. Don’t Put Things Into Perspective

Have you ever been upset over something when someone stops you mid-sentence to tell you it can’t be that bad, there are starving children in Africa, or that you’re lucky to even have a job because millions of Americans don’t? There is a time and a place for thinking about the suffering in the world, and when you’re angry or upset is not that time.

Understanding true suffering takes compassion and empathy, and it requires our full attention. When you’re angry, you’re running on a short fuse, and adding guilt and sadness to that fuse isn’t putting it out, it’s only making you feel worse. If you really want to gain perspective in a meaningful way, take some time out of your life when you’re feeling understanding and willing to think about other people’s problems and what you can do to help. Being compassionate when appropriate will carry over into your daily life. It will help you gain understanding of true strife and it will make the biggest difference in the way you approach trivial concerns.


5. Do Good

As in the last point, making an impact in the world will carry over into your daily life. Do something selfless on a regular basis. It will make you feel good, you’ll be helping others, and it will give you a sense of what really matters in life. Doing a little good every now and then will help you understand what you truly value, what’s important and what’s not worth it.

6. Do Whine …

… when it really matters. In an effort to stop complaining, don’t put on a happy face all the time to mask a greater problem you’re dealing with. Vocalizing why you hate your job could lead to a drastic effort to change your career, and it could really pay off in the end. Telling a loved one or your boss you don’t feel you’re being treated appropriately can open up a meaningful conversation and a significant step toward change. Filter out the small complaints in order to be heard when something is really bothering you, and keep an open line of communication between you and anyone else involved.

The Boy Who Whined About The Wolf

Sometimes there really is something pressing in our lives that needs release, and it’s a matter of finding the right person who will listen to our troubles with compassion. Be aware that constant complainers may have a bigger issue underneath all the trivial gripes, so instead of cutting people off or telling them to stop whining, listen to them. And when it’s your turn, the people you care about will listen to you. But don’t be the person who cried complaint; make sure you’re putting the small stuff aside and focusing your energy on the positives in life.

More by this author

8 Tricks To Be More Confident for Your Interview Ditch Your To-Do List and Be More Productive 8 Signs You May Be Losing Your Job Soon 6 Tips To Stop Whining

Trending in Communication

1 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 2 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 3 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 4 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max 5 How To Stop Insecure Attachment from Wreaking Havoc on Your Love Life

Read Next


Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.


The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.


How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”


There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’


When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next