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6 Tips To Stop Whining

6 Tips To Stop Whining

Whining and griping over the small stuff in life feels natural to us and we are all guilty of it. It feels important to air these frustrations, and when we’re on the verge of doing so it’s almost impossible to stop ourselves. But in order to maintain healthy and whole relationships and a positive outlook in life, it’s equally important to recognize how often we complain, and if necessary, to cut back.

However, instead of trying to stop ourselves right while we’re on the brink of lamenting, we can make minor adjustments in our daily lives to avoid the urge altogether. This will allow us to gain insight on the little things that aren’t worth whining over and the bigger issues that require more attention. Here are 6 tips to keep you from whining:

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1. Look Inward

Self-awareness is key. Take note of how often you find yourself complaining during your regular day, and try to figure out what triggers those complaints. Is it co-workers, your boss, your spouse, neighbors, traffic, weather? Is it everything, is nothing outside the wrath of your grumbling? Is it something you can control or something far beyond? Could it be dealt with peacefully and professionally, or is it destined to bother you for the remainder of your days? If you’re aware of how often you complain, what it pertains to, and how it can be dealt with, you’ll be more likely to assess whether there’s a larger issue you’re trying to get at, or if you have the tendency to gripe over things that aren’t worth the breath.

2. Look Outward

Think of the things or people in your life that make you happy or give you comfort. Take some time every day to list some of these. We’re all very grateful for the things we have, but if we don’t remind ourselves of our fortunes often, we’ll push the stuff that matters to the back burner and allow the negative influences to take over. Plus, when you’re right in the moment of feeling ‘complainy’, trying to list your fortunes will only result in that screaming inner voice yelling at you to shut up and let anger preside, so by adding it to your daily routine you’ll maintain a better overall sense of thankfulness and gratitude.

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Also, think of the person whom the complaint pertains to. Is it the man sitting next to you in the coffee shop, for instance, who’s tapping his pen and it’s really bothering you? More often than not, if a person knew their actions were annoying other people, they’d stop. He’s not out to get you. He’s not intentionally getting under your skin. So think about whether it’s worth it to politely ask him to discontinue the tapping, or if the problem lies within your own sensitivity to noise and you should try to overcome it. (A self-proclaimed noise-a-phobe’s #1 trick: bring headphones with you wherever you go.)

3. Take Your Time

A lot of our complaints come about when we’re feeling impatient or when we’re in a hurry. Standing in a long line, waiting in traffic, or waiting on someone else to complete a task you could do in half the time are all instances when we’re in a high state of agitation, and anything can set us off. These days long lines, traffic jams or slow drivers are the perfect excuse to get on our Facebook pages and leave passive-aggressive posts, such as, “Dear Mr. Slow Driver McGoing Nowhere, I’ve got places to be so HURRY UP … ” But we’d be a lot less irritated if we allowed ourselves more time, slowed our pace, and enjoyed the ride; and we’d spend more time posting about the little things we notice or the things that make us laugh or smile, rather than what drives us nuts.

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4. Don’t Put Things Into Perspective

Have you ever been upset over something when someone stops you mid-sentence to tell you it can’t be that bad, there are starving children in Africa, or that you’re lucky to even have a job because millions of Americans don’t? There is a time and a place for thinking about the suffering in the world, and when you’re angry or upset is not that time.

Understanding true suffering takes compassion and empathy, and it requires our full attention. When you’re angry, you’re running on a short fuse, and adding guilt and sadness to that fuse isn’t putting it out, it’s only making you feel worse. If you really want to gain perspective in a meaningful way, take some time out of your life when you’re feeling understanding and willing to think about other people’s problems and what you can do to help. Being compassionate when appropriate will carry over into your daily life. It will help you gain understanding of true strife and it will make the biggest difference in the way you approach trivial concerns.

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5. Do Good

As in the last point, making an impact in the world will carry over into your daily life. Do something selfless on a regular basis. It will make you feel good, you’ll be helping others, and it will give you a sense of what really matters in life. Doing a little good every now and then will help you understand what you truly value, what’s important and what’s not worth it.

6. Do Whine …

… when it really matters. In an effort to stop complaining, don’t put on a happy face all the time to mask a greater problem you’re dealing with. Vocalizing why you hate your job could lead to a drastic effort to change your career, and it could really pay off in the end. Telling a loved one or your boss you don’t feel you’re being treated appropriately can open up a meaningful conversation and a significant step toward change. Filter out the small complaints in order to be heard when something is really bothering you, and keep an open line of communication between you and anyone else involved.

The Boy Who Whined About The Wolf

Sometimes there really is something pressing in our lives that needs release, and it’s a matter of finding the right person who will listen to our troubles with compassion. Be aware that constant complainers may have a bigger issue underneath all the trivial gripes, so instead of cutting people off or telling them to stop whining, listen to them. And when it’s your turn, the people you care about will listen to you. But don’t be the person who cried complaint; make sure you’re putting the small stuff aside and focusing your energy on the positives in life.

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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