Nobody likes difficult people.vWe call them many things, including, “Rude customers”, “Annoying friends”, “Family who don’t understand you”, “Spoiled girlfriend, “Arrogant boss”, to name a few.
It can be pretty aggravating and upsetting even when you encounter such people, especially when you didn’t do anything at all to deserve this rudeness.
It’s then easy to dwell in negative thinking, like, “What did I do to deserve this? Life is so unfair!” or “I hate him (or her)!” But that’s too easy. If you want a better way to deal with difficult people, put in the effort to rather use following 5 tips.
Remember, reacting in an average way is easy. Being difficult and also taking your problems out on others is also easy. Go the hard route for a better life.
1. Realize that they may be suffering and put yourself in their shoes
When you encounter a difficult person, try to put yourself in their shoes. Difficult people are only being difficult because they’re suffering.
Instead of judging them, Listen to them. If you’re patient enough, listen to the difficult person’s problems after he’s done being difficult. If you’re not, then listen to your gut, instincts and what others have to say.
For example, your girlfriend or boyfriend may be acting difficult to you, but after listening, you may discover that they’re trying to get your attention because they really need you. They aren’t taking you for granted or intentionally being a brat.
The whole idea is to make sure that you don’t react impulsively on a negative level. Once you have a better understanding of where they’re coming from, you probably won’t feel so upset about them.
2. Realize they are not bad people, they are just difficult
I used to work in the service line in the nightlife industry before. And it was filled with difficult customers. It really made me miserable almost every working night as I had to deal with rude people all the time.
One night, my supervisor told me this, “These people are not bad people, rich and arrogant monsters, or your enemies. They’re just difficult customers.”
That helped me a lot. It’s easy to ride the negative thought train and start getting paranoid. But don’t board that train. It’s just going to end up in a wreck. Difficult people are simply difficult people. With that in mind, find that one solution to deal with them.
E.g. I went from thinking, “This customer is so annoying! I wish I could punch him” to “This is just another difficult person. I’ll do my job the best way I can anyway.” See the difference?
3. Don’t react too fast. Be the bigger person.
You will most likely react negatively to a difficult person because you will talk back or even fight.
You’ve got to learn when to be quiet. It may sound like you’re giving in, but the whole idea here is to be the bigger person. The difficult one is long gone and far from being the bigger person.
This idea may sound counter-intuitive and hard, but nobody said being the bigger person is easy.
You take the reins inyour hands. People will respect you more that way. You’ll also grow as person a lot faster as you will know that you now will able to go through difficult times without causing any real trouble.
4. Focus intensely on being yourself so you don’t become like them
The last thing you want to happen is to become like them. The best revenge is always leading your own life and showing others how awesome and capable you are. Again, to react negatively and ultimately becoming difficult yourself is very easy. I doubt you want that.
So keep reflecting inwards instead. Think about how the situation can improve your life rather than how you can get back at them or make them suffer.
Difficult people may be difficult and annoying, but your life shouldn’t be made difficult because of them. Your life is your own
5. Know when to end the relationship entirely
There’re two schools of thought here.
Sometimes, you should end the relationship with a difficult person because you owe it to yourself to live in a positive environment. A negative environment doesn’t do you any good and a positive one can transform your life for the better almost instantaneously.
There’s honestly no excuse to be in a negative environment filled with difficult people. You don’t need any of that nonsense!
Secondly, sometimes ending the relationship is better for both you and the difficult person in question.
I’ve personally fallen out with a few friends because I know they need it. I believe that they need to make their own mistakes in order to grow. To stick around and allow them to be difficult is simply allowing them to fuel their own negative energy and take those around them for granted. They’ll never learn that way.
So if you care enough, dump them. Walk away and let them grow. It’s for the best.