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5 Ways To Deal With Difficult People

5 Ways To Deal With Difficult People

Nobody likes difficult people.vWe call them many things, including, “Rude customers”, “Annoying friends”, “Family who don’t understand you”, “Spoiled girlfriend,  “Arrogant boss”, to name a few.

It can be pretty aggravating and upsetting even when you encounter such people, especially when you didn’t do anything at all to deserve this rudeness.

It’s then easy to dwell in negative thinking, like, “What did I do to deserve this? Life is so unfair!” or “I hate him (or her)!” But that’s too easy. If you want a better way to deal with difficult people, put in the effort to rather use following 5 tips.

Remember, reacting in an average way is easy. Being difficult and also taking your problems out on others is also easy. Go the hard route for a better life.

1. Realize that they may be suffering and put yourself in their shoes

When you encounter a difficult person, try to put yourself in their shoes. Difficult people are only being difficult because they’re suffering.

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Instead of judging them, Listen to them. If you’re patient enough, listen to the difficult person’s problems after he’s done being difficult. If you’re not, then listen to your gut, instincts and what others have to say.

For example, your girlfriend or boyfriend may be acting difficult to you, but after listening, you may discover that they’re trying to get your attention because they really need you. They aren’t taking you for granted or intentionally being a brat.

The whole idea is to make sure that you don’t react impulsively on a negative level. Once you have a better understanding of where they’re coming from, you probably won’t feel so upset about them.

2. Realize they are not bad people, they are just difficult

I used to work in the service line in the nightlife industry before. And it was filled with difficult customers. It really made me miserable almost every working night as I had to deal with rude people all the time.

One night, my supervisor told me this, “These people are not bad people, rich and arrogant monsters, or your enemies. They’re just difficult customers.”

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That helped me a lot. It’s easy to ride the negative thought train and start getting paranoid. But don’t board that train. It’s just going to end up in a wreck. Difficult people are simply difficult people. With that in mind, find that one solution to deal with them.

E.g. I went from thinking, “This customer is so annoying! I wish I could punch him” to “This is just another difficult person. I’ll do my job the best way I can anyway.” See the difference?

3. Don’t react too fast. Be the bigger person.

You will most likely react negatively to a difficult person because you will talk back or even fight.

You’ve got to learn when to be quiet. It may sound like you’re giving in, but the whole idea here is to be the bigger person. The difficult one is long gone and far from being the bigger person.

This idea may sound counter-intuitive and hard, but nobody said being the bigger person is easy. 

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You take the reins inyour hands. People will respect you more that way. You’ll also grow as person a lot faster as you will know that you now will able to go through difficult times without causing any real trouble.

4. Focus intensely on being yourself so you don’t become like them

The last thing you want to happen is to become like them. The best revenge is always leading your own life and showing others how awesome and capable you are. Again, to react negatively and ultimately becoming difficult yourself is very easy. I doubt you want that.

So keep reflecting inwards instead. Think about how the situation can improve your life rather than how you can get back at them or make them suffer.

Difficult people may be difficult and annoying, but your life shouldn’t be made difficult because of them. Your life is your own

5. Know when to end the relationship entirely

There’re two schools of thought here.

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Sometimes, you should end the relationship with a difficult person because you owe it to yourself to live in a positive environment. A negative environment doesn’t do you any good and a positive one can transform your life for the better almost instantaneously.

There’s honestly no excuse to be in a negative environment filled with difficult people. You don’t need any of that nonsense!

Secondly, sometimes ending the relationship is better for both you and the difficult person in question.

I’ve personally fallen out with a few friends because I know they need it. I believe that they need to make their own mistakes in order to grow. To stick around and allow them to be difficult is simply allowing them to fuel their own negative energy and take those around them for granted. They’ll never learn that way.

So if you care enough, dump them. Walk away and let them grow. It’s for the best.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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