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5 Ways To Deal With Difficult People

5 Ways To Deal With Difficult People

Nobody likes difficult people.vWe call them many things, including, “Rude customers”, “Annoying friends”, “Family who don’t understand you”, “Spoiled girlfriend,  “Arrogant boss”, to name a few.

It can be pretty aggravating and upsetting even when you encounter such people, especially when you didn’t do anything at all to deserve this rudeness.

It’s then easy to dwell in negative thinking, like, “What did I do to deserve this? Life is so unfair!” or “I hate him (or her)!” But that’s too easy. If you want a better way to deal with difficult people, put in the effort to rather use following 5 tips.

Remember, reacting in an average way is easy. Being difficult and also taking your problems out on others is also easy. Go the hard route for a better life.

1. Realize that they may be suffering and put yourself in their shoes

When you encounter a difficult person, try to put yourself in their shoes. Difficult people are only being difficult because they’re suffering.

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Instead of judging them, Listen to them. If you’re patient enough, listen to the difficult person’s problems after he’s done being difficult. If you’re not, then listen to your gut, instincts and what others have to say.

For example, your girlfriend or boyfriend may be acting difficult to you, but after listening, you may discover that they’re trying to get your attention because they really need you. They aren’t taking you for granted or intentionally being a brat.

The whole idea is to make sure that you don’t react impulsively on a negative level. Once you have a better understanding of where they’re coming from, you probably won’t feel so upset about them.

2. Realize they are not bad people, they are just difficult

I used to work in the service line in the nightlife industry before. And it was filled with difficult customers. It really made me miserable almost every working night as I had to deal with rude people all the time.

One night, my supervisor told me this, “These people are not bad people, rich and arrogant monsters, or your enemies. They’re just difficult customers.”

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That helped me a lot. It’s easy to ride the negative thought train and start getting paranoid. But don’t board that train. It’s just going to end up in a wreck. Difficult people are simply difficult people. With that in mind, find that one solution to deal with them.

E.g. I went from thinking, “This customer is so annoying! I wish I could punch him” to “This is just another difficult person. I’ll do my job the best way I can anyway.” See the difference?

3. Don’t react too fast. Be the bigger person.

You will most likely react negatively to a difficult person because you will talk back or even fight.

You’ve got to learn when to be quiet. It may sound like you’re giving in, but the whole idea here is to be the bigger person. The difficult one is long gone and far from being the bigger person.

This idea may sound counter-intuitive and hard, but nobody said being the bigger person is easy. 

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You take the reins inyour hands. People will respect you more that way. You’ll also grow as person a lot faster as you will know that you now will able to go through difficult times without causing any real trouble.

4. Focus intensely on being yourself so you don’t become like them

The last thing you want to happen is to become like them. The best revenge is always leading your own life and showing others how awesome and capable you are. Again, to react negatively and ultimately becoming difficult yourself is very easy. I doubt you want that.

So keep reflecting inwards instead. Think about how the situation can improve your life rather than how you can get back at them or make them suffer.

Difficult people may be difficult and annoying, but your life shouldn’t be made difficult because of them. Your life is your own

5. Know when to end the relationship entirely

There’re two schools of thought here.

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Sometimes, you should end the relationship with a difficult person because you owe it to yourself to live in a positive environment. A negative environment doesn’t do you any good and a positive one can transform your life for the better almost instantaneously.

There’s honestly no excuse to be in a negative environment filled with difficult people. You don’t need any of that nonsense!

Secondly, sometimes ending the relationship is better for both you and the difficult person in question.

I’ve personally fallen out with a few friends because I know they need it. I believe that they need to make their own mistakes in order to grow. To stick around and allow them to be difficult is simply allowing them to fuel their own negative energy and take those around them for granted. They’ll never learn that way.

So if you care enough, dump them. Walk away and let them grow. It’s for the best.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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