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4 Things You Need To Be Aware Of When You Make Difficult Life Decisions

4 Things You Need To Be Aware Of When You Make Difficult Life Decisions

Making difficult life decisions can be a daunting task.  There are many dimensions you must take into account and pitfalls around every corner.  However, rather than becoming paralyzed with fear, follow these sound decision-making insights and make the best possible decisions you can to improve your life and the lives of those who depend on you.

1. Value is Relative

Just how much is that gallon of water worth anyway?

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Interestingly enough, most of us wouldn’t think that a gallon of water was worth all that much–unless we were trapped in the desert and dying of thirst.  Then it might be much more valuable, maybe even worth a few hundred bucks or your left arm?  The value that we place on something revolves around what our personal situation is at the time, meaning that while water is water is water no matter where you are or what you are facing, the value we place on it depends solely on how badly we need it.

So why does this matter when it comes to making important life decision?  Because we are the only people who truly understand the value of our decisions in our lives.  Sure, we want to know what others think about our situations, but following others’ advice without understanding the value of the result in our own opinion can and often does lead to disastrous results.  Solicit others’ opinions, but always make your own decisions.

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2. What do You Want to Come Out of Your Decision?

This one is a little bit harder because it means that we have to accept that there are no “good” or “bad” decisions, only consequences.  The outcome of a decision rests solely on the person experiencing it.  In order to obtain a “good” outcome to a decision, you have to know what you want, meaning that you have to have a goal.

You need to have a clear picture of the road you want to be on when making the choice to follow either path. Then, you have to make a decision that will help you realize that goal rather than making a decision and then trying to figure out where you are headed.

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3. Accept That the Outcome of Your Decision Will Only be as Good as the Effort  You Put in.

When we make decisions, we often think about it as an analytical process: pros vs. cons.  We think that if we do it right, we will ultimately obtain the best outcome.  We think that as long as we spend a requisite number of hours thinking about making the right decision, then we will ultimately be rewarded for making a great decision.

However, the truth is that no matter how much effort you put into weighing all the alternatives and analyzing your situation, no outcome can be considered positive unless you follow through with your decision.  No amount of analysis or systematic thinking will change that.

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Before jumping in and making a decision, generate alternatives and determine what decision you are capable of living with.  And then commit to your decision and commit to its success.  Here are a couple of quick tips to help you focus your commitment and energy:

  • Pay attention to “hard” decisions. When you find yourself in a stalemate between two choices, odds are that the outcomes are so similar that in the end, the actual decision doesn’t really matter.  Either way you’ll experience the same result no matter which path you choose, so spend less time agonizing over the decision and more time implementing.
  • Agree on a decision deadline. Don’t paralyze your life by stalling on important decision.  Rather, set a deadline and stick to it.  Make an agreement with yourself to make a decision by a certain day/time and then meet that deadline.  If you find yourself still stuck, then toss a coin and follow through.

4. Taking a Logical Approach Can Help

Making great decisions is a process.  You have to use a number of thinking modes to come to the best possible solution for you.  You have to be open to being creative and non-judgmental during the early stages of that process all the while understanding that you need to be judgmental in the later stages.  Switching thinking modes at the critical points of the process will help you make up your mind and be satisfied with the results of your decision.   It is during these final stages of the process that it helps many decision makers to make a list of pros and cons to weigh the impacts of the decision.

As a wise decision-maker, you will quickly learn how to place value on alternative outcomes.  The closer outcomes are, the less valuable the decision.  Realize that if alternatives are very close to each other in value, it matters less which one you picks. You should save your energy for more important decisions–those with very different payoffs.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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