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3 Unique Ways To Enjoy The Present Moment

3 Unique Ways To Enjoy The Present Moment

When you’re sick you only have one concern: feel better now.

When you feel unhappy with your current situation, you dream of a better future or think of about how you screwed it up last time you were happy.

When you’re happy it’s easier to enjoy the moment and even joke about your past mess ups and have a fun time planning the future. But none of it deters your happiness in the present moment.

So that leaves you with two options for how to be present: get really sick or be happy.

I like to be happy, so I choose the latter.

Over the course of my battles with depression and severe anxiety (the type of anxiety where you throw up every time you are talking on the phone) I have come across a few techniques and stories which help me to enjoy the present moment.

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1. Understand that the glass is already broken.

I read a story once about a man who went to India in search for his truth, whatever that is. He wanted answers. He stumbled upon a teacher and over the course of his time there, he grew amazed at how content this man was. The teacher cared about and respected everything and everybody.

Curious as to how this teacher moulded into this standard of thought and, as some would say, enlightenment, he asked, “How are you so content every moment?”

The teacher looked down and pointed to his glass of water.

“This cup is already broken,” he said. “If I knock it over and it breaks, I simply say, ‘of course.’”

“One day this cup holding my water will not be a cup anymore. It is already broken and, because it is broken, I cherish each moment I have with the cup.”

Everything ends. Everything.

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Understanding that makes you grateful for the moment you currently experience. People die, this article will one day vanish from existence, and this planet we live on will be gone too. It all ends. I don’t say this to be a downer; I say this to spread the message of being grateful and cherishing every moment you have while you are alive.

2. A quick blast of meditation does wonders.

I’ve tried everything. Hour long meditations, chanting meditations, location-specific meditations, waking up at an ungodly hour meditations, all of it. Nothing stuck for me.

I felt like a failure. I always worried I wasn’t doing it right. I would get upset if I spent most of the meditation thinking about stuff and not being “mindless.” It sucked. I sucked.

Then, five months ago, I found a ten minute meditation that has worked like magic.

I have a nice piece of classical music I enjoy playing through my headphones as I sit crossed legged with my back against a wall. I listen and simply focus on my in-breath.

I don’t know why this is the one that has worked the best for me, but it has.

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After the ten minutes are up I feel good; I feel focused. It tends to bring me back to the present in a nice, calming fashion. I am very relaxed after this little meditation.

Maybe it can work for you too.

3. Perspective is life’s greatest snake oil salesman.

Is that true? I don’t know. I’m honestly just impressed I came up with that heading.

Perspective guides us a in couple of ways. It preaches that things can always be worse. That’s the popular way to approach perspective.

But things can always be better too. At least, we think they can be. We don’t really know.

We think we know. More money, different job, nicer weather, newer phone, better friends—all of it sounds better in your current state of mind, but would it all really be better?

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I know very rich people who are not happy. They can have everything they want, but they’ve become so obsessive over their image, they can’t fully enjoy anything.

Over the course of the last decade, I’ve had well over a dozen different jobs, all of which I liked for three months until I got bored and started looking for a “happier” path.

I live on Vancouver Island, the prettiest area in Canada, but, the other night, I sincerely missed the gigantic thunderstorms I used to see living in the Prairies.

It can always be worse and it can always be better, depending on how we choose to absorb what perspective is to us.

Tell perspective to stop selling you on worse or better for awhile and try to enjoy what you have. Enjoying your reality is far more powerful than enjoying a dream you wish to hopefully come true.

Featured photo credit: Greyerbaby via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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