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26 Effective & Creative Ways to Communicate with Your Significant Other

26 Effective & Creative Ways to Communicate with Your Significant Other

Love is all about communication. Whether you have been together for days, months or decades, your significant other is someone to whom you express all your warm fuzzy affection and who you can be as mushy with as you’d like. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion to remind that certain someone how much they are loved. Instead of the usual texting of “I love you”, add variety to your daily communication and try one of these creative ways to express yourself.

1. Write it on steamed mirrors

i-love-you-mirror

    It’s early morning and you’re taking turns to shower before running off to work. Knowing they’re next in line, surprise them with a message and it’d be a wonderful way to start their day!

    2. Write on a banana

    love-note-banana

      When you pack them lunch, add on a banana as a healthy mid-day snack that’s high in potassium. It’s a thoughtful gesture and they will be smiling and laughing at how silly you are if you use a marker to write directly on the peel.

      If you prefer to be sneaky, use your banana as a secret message! When you use a toothpick to scratch a message on the banana peel, it does not appear visible until an hour later.

      3. Place notes on the fridge

      nakedfridge

        There will be no excuse for not reading your message (Everybody walks to the fridge, right?) Use alphabet magnets to craft your message so you can reuse and rearrange them from time to time to add fun into your daily lives. If you do not have those, post-its will work just as well.

        4. Use a Pillow Talk

        pillowtalk

          Maybe you are in a long-distance relationship, or you don’t Iive together just yet. Launching soon, Pillow Talk is a wearable product that lets you send your heartbeat to your loved one, and by putting the speaker in the pillow you are able to hear theirs too – therefore providing the illusion of closeness no matter where you may be.

          5. Dedicate them a song

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          old-radio-set-igor-kislev

            Very old-school but nevertheless always a romantic thing to do. Is there a song that describes your relationship well? Dedicate that song with a heartfelt message on the radio and telling them when to listen. Make sure you know their schedule at that time so they don’t miss the perfect timing!

            6. Start a love diary

            love diary

              Make it a project to take turns to fill it up with pictures of the most memorable moments, write short letters for each other, share secrets so you have nothing to hide, create love lists of about you like about them and share everything that is on your mind. You can also keep a box of memorabilia of things that are special in your relationship, such as movie ticket stubs

              7. Install LoveByte – an app for couples

              readsecretmessage

                If writing in a physical diary is too troublesome, let technology make things easier for you. Search for couple apps and share with your significant other in a private space that you can call your own. It’s like a shared treasure chest of all your memories so revisiting the best times of your relationship is accessible and instantaneous.

                8. Read together Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” book

                love-language-book

                  Find out what makes each other tick and how we express and receive love in different forms. It’s one of the best ways to build understanding between the two of you.

                  9. Invent your own secret code

                  kids-sharing-secret

                    Come up with some signs that only the two of you understand so you can slip it in your conversations without anyone knowing! Like in 50 Shades of Grey, there’s “red” and “yellow”. You can make it as sexy or ridiculous as you want, as long as you are having fun.

                    10. Buy a pair of tickets to their favourite show/concert

                    tumblr_n6sj239IE91sbafcao1_500

                      Is their favourite band coming to town? You know they want to see it but can’t bear to pay for the expensive tickets? Pamper them by getting them a ticket. If you can, accompany them to watch it (even if you don’t really want to!) to let them know you take interest in what they like and enjoy. Sometimes love is best communicated by your actions, not your words.

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                      11. Make your own scratchcards

                      scratchcardpack_lovebyte

                        Don’t worry about not having handcrafting skills. There are tutorials to follow to make your own scratchcards where you can write in your own message, cover it up with paint and let the recipient scratch to unveil the message. Try typing in Google keywords like “DIY scratchcards” and you’re good to go. All you need are some cards, dish soap, silver acrylic paint, clear tape and a small container.

                        12. Make a heart-shaped meal

                        heart-shapped-pizza

                          Prepare their favourite meal and display it a heart shape. (Whether or not the food tastes great, that’s a separate story!) You can prepare almost any food shaped into a heart: cut out toast, pizza, cookies; as long as you have a heart-shaped cutter. You can even use them on your fruits.

                          13. Slip a surprise note into their bag

                          love post it note

                            Write a sweet message on a post-it note. It can be something as simple as “Have a great day!” or an appreciation note to thank them of their presence in your life. Place more notes in random places where they will find it – in their dresser, fridge, in their car, bathroom mirror. It’d be something they come across later and you will keep them wondering when you managed to sneak it in without them knowing.

                            14. Embark on a ’30 Day Relationship Challenge’ together

                            couple-hand-love-nails-pinky-promise-Favim.com-412886_large

                              Is it true that it takes 21 days to form a habit? Spice up your everyday interaction by committing to doing an activity daily together. It can be as simple as doing house chores together, giving each other a massage, or looking at old pictures. To make the challenge even more meaningful, brainstorm together to make your own list or search the net for some ideas.

                              15. Scavenger Hunt

                              3_scavenger-hunt

                                On some coloured paper place clues and hints, and hide them all around the house. Ask your partner to solve the questions. You can ask some questions to remind them of special days in the relationship (e.g. when you had your first date). Get them thinking about the good times and how you both felt in the beginning.

                                16. Couple Quiz

                                couple

                                  Pick up a book of questions and fire them at each other. You can choose any topic or keep it to relationship questions. You will learn from the answers and discover each other’s preferences, attitudes, perspectives and desires – some of which you may not even have known about yourself! This is a fun way to get to know each other and bring you closer as a couple.

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                                  17. Make them a wallet card

                                  walletcard

                                    Write a heartwarming message that is loving and motivational to your partner so they can always see it whenever they open their wallet. It is something they carry along with them all the time so it serves as a great reminder.

                                    18. Surprise them with flowers

                                    lovenotes-flowers

                                      Perhaps your partner has been getting stressed at work, or you know they are going through a tough week. Have a lovely bouquet delivered to their workplace – even though there’s no special occasion or celebration – when they are least expecting it. Just because you want to see a smile on their face (Aww!) Plus it’s cheaper than getting them on peak periods like Valentine’s Day. Be sure to add a personal, encouraging message to add a special touch!

                                      19. Make short videos

                                      couple-taking-picture-and-smiling

                                        In case you were thinking dirty… No, that’s not what we meant. Make recordings of simple daily happenings, or talk about something you recall. Over time you will have built a record you can fondly look back at together and see how much you’ve both grown.

                                        20. Quiet places for heart-to-heart talk

                                        couple-lie-down-nature-sweet-Favim.com-440397

                                          Visit new, quiet places where you can be away from the crowd and just sit down, hold hands and have a good heart-to-heart talk. Sit on a park bench or lie down to watch the night sky. Make it a point to travel even if it’s a little out of the way. Soaking together in a bathtub is considered a pretty unconventional place for a good, relaxing chat.

                                          21. Make love vows

                                          lovebytereasons

                                            Spend a good evening and write down some promises of love to each other. Hang it up on the wall and be constantly reminded of the commitment you’ve promised each other – put down on pen and paper.

                                            22. Make a bookmark

                                            7_bookmark

                                              If your significant other is a bookworm, it would be nice to print out nice images and paste a love quote on top of it. Get it laminated and put it in to a book they are reading.

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                                              23. Mail them a handwritten letter

                                              loveletter-480x404

                                                Because nobody takes the time to write to each other any more. The love letter is a classic way to show them how you feel. Express your gratitude and thank them for the little things they do for you. It’s something that they can keep for a long time and they will always feel good reading it again and again. Sit down and take the time to put in your best effort to write something down on pen and paper.

                                                24. Lipstick on the mirror

                                                mirror7

                                                  Use lipstick to write a romantic message on the mirror. It’s a cheeky way to leave a short message (If you are worried about the stain, liquid dish soap and hot water will do the trick!)

                                                  25. Get your dog to fetch it

                                                    If you are lucky enough to have a dog who will learn special tricks, train your dog to bring a letter in its mouth to your partner.

                                                    25. Candy Hearts

                                                    candy-599884_1280

                                                      Printed with cute messages like “Kiss Me” and “XOXO”, these ‘conversation heart’ candies make great gifts to send a message. If you want your message to be more special you can even have them custom made, so that it will be one of a kind.

                                                      Featured photo credit: Wokanda via pixabay.com

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                                                      Last Updated on January 24, 2021

                                                      How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

                                                      How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

                                                      Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

                                                      For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

                                                      But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

                                                      It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

                                                      And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

                                                      The Importance of Saying No

                                                      When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

                                                      In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

                                                      Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

                                                      Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

                                                      Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

                                                      “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

                                                      When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

                                                      How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

                                                      It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

                                                      From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

                                                      We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

                                                      And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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                                                      At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

                                                      The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

                                                      How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

                                                      Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

                                                      But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

                                                      3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

                                                      1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

                                                      Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

                                                      If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

                                                      2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

                                                      When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

                                                      Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

                                                      3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

                                                      When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

                                                      6 Ways to Start Saying No

                                                      Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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                                                      1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

                                                      One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

                                                      Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

                                                      2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

                                                      Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

                                                      Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

                                                      3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

                                                      Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

                                                      Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

                                                      You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

                                                      4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

                                                      Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

                                                      Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

                                                      5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

                                                      When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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                                                      How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

                                                        Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

                                                        Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

                                                        6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

                                                        If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

                                                        Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

                                                        Final Thoughts

                                                        Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

                                                        Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

                                                        Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

                                                        More Tips on How to Say No

                                                        Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

                                                        Reference

                                                        [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
                                                        [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
                                                        [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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