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20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

We all hate it. The word ‘average’ is becoming an insult nowadays. Do you think you’re average? If you really want to stop being just one of the crowd, read further and stop being average forever.

1. They watch too much TV.

Watching TV is fine but too much is not good. It takes too much of your time with little benefit. Most of the programs are geared to entertain and not to educate. Plus, advertisements can influence you to buy the things you don’t need. Reduce, or stop altogether, watching TV because your time is too precious to be spent in front of an evil cube.

2. They play too much.

When you play too much that means you are spending too much time doing unproductive things. It’s okay to play if you want to release your stress, but like the case of TV above, too much playing around wouldn’t be good for our productivity. Reduce the amount of entertainment in all forms and focus more on doing meaningful work.

3. They are too lazy to track their time.

Tracking time is boring. But most people forget that it’s one of the most beneficial activities that promotes productivity. By tracking time, you will be more aware of how you use time. This will help you be more cautious of how you spend every second of your life. Time is a non-renewable resource, so it’s better to use it as efficiently as possible.

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4. They wake up late.

Waking up late means that you have less time to do things. It’s actually a hint of you being an unproductive person. Most people have the most energy in the morning, but if they aren’t awake at that time, all that energy will go to waste. That’s why waking up early is super important if you want to get more things done in a day. Waking up early can also help you to be better prepared because you can use that morning to get a good breakfast and relax before facing a busy day.

5. They rely too much on inspiration and motivation.

Moments of inspiration rarely come. If you rely on it too much, you will never get anything done. You are obligated to do what you are meant to do, no matter how inspired you are feeling on a particular day. That’s just how life goes.

6. They are lazy.

Being lazy is a huge barrier for productivity because it doesn’t promote action. When you’re not doing anything, you’re automatically average. Avoid laziness and stay active.

7. They don’t act on their thoughts.

All of us have great ideas and thoughts in our mind. What separates the successful with the average is that successful people act on their thoughts and try to turn their ideas into reality. Don’t discount the power of your thoughts and ideas. As long as you believe in them, act.

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8. They make too much assumptions.

Making assumptions about anything is bad if you don’t test it. Never ever settle to an assumption and think that it’s a fact. Assumptions need to always be tested because living on assumptions is the same as not living at all.

9. They lack critical thinking skills.

Most people don’t question the things they read, listen or hear. Questioning is important because it helps us to be better critical thinkers. There are too many people out there who are keen on lying and persuading you to their evil cause, and it’s up to you to question the things these people say and make sure that it’s in your interest to join them.

10. They have a fixed mindset.

When you want to learn something that’s difficult, will you give up? Will you say that the difficulties are caused by your lack of talent and you can’t do anything about it? If you say yes, then you have a fixed mindset. Average people have a fixed mindset and they believe that they’re stuck with whatever they think they’re born with. Don’t be like that. Cultivate a growth mindset and do whatever you want in life, no matter how difficult it might be. As long as you put in the effort, you’ll surely grow.

11. They lack patience.

Delaying gratification has been discovered to be a strong determinant of success. If you can’t delay rewards and seek quick fixes, then you might be average. Learn to seek rewards that are huge and takes time to achieve, and avoid small rewards that aren’t worth your time.

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12. They don’t take notes.

Average people forget that they have limited capacity to memorize things. There are memory techniques that can help us remember things, but they are short-term fixes. Learn to take note of the things that are interesting and insightful–your ideas, observations, and experiences. Carry a notebook with you so you can jot down all of them in one place.

13. They don’t listen to others.

Most of us love ourselves. We love to talk about us, but rarely do we become interested in others. You already know yourself and you are always with yourself. Why not be more interested in others? Always talking about yourself won’t bring you much benefit, but listening to others can give you interesting insight into yourself and the world around you.

14. They feel entitled.

Why are there so many complainers today? Many people have really strong sense of entitlement. They think that others should do this and that, and if they don’t, these complainers would tell that they don’t deserve that kind of service. Avoid complaining and speak out your concern in a respectful way. People don’t care about you and the world also doesn’t revolve around you. But they will care if you respect them.

15. They talk bad about others behind their back.

Gossiping is food for average people. Don’t talk bad about others behind their back because that makes you a coward. If you don’t like something about someone, talk to the person. It might hurt the person’s feeling but that’s better because at least the person can improve himself based on your feedback.

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16. They are too lazy to read books.

It’s difficult to find someone who makes reading a daily practice. Reading is a good replacement for the empty entertainment we have today. Learn to read every day and you’ll be closer to success.

17. They read passively.

You’ll still be average if you read passively. If you read only to consume the information and leave it at that, it’s a waste of time. Read to think and act. After reading a book, think about what you’ve read, summarize it, share it with your friends, or do just about anything so as long as you don’t let the information go stagnate inside your mind.

18. They hate to create.

Creating anything takes time and effort. And we know that it’s easier to be a consumer than to be a creator. Be a creator. Write a book, create a podcast, or record a video. There are many things you can create in this world and it’s a waste of your existence if you don’t do at least one of them.

19. They lack a strong purpose.

Everyone’s heard about it. You must live with a purpose. But having a purpose is not enough. Your purpose must be strong. To create that strong purpose, you’ll to remind yourself of the purpose every day. If it doesn’t make you continue moving, then it’s time to find a new one.

20. They call others average.

No, I’m not calling you an average person in this article. That’s up for you to decide. In the end, no one has the right to call others average. No one’s average in this world; their actions are average but the one’s doing it are not. So, stop looking at others as if you’re better than them. You are yourself, and they are themselves. Everyone has the potential to succeed as long as they stop doing average things.

Featured photo credit: Colleen is bored/Jason Scragz via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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