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20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

We all hate it. The word ‘average’ is becoming an insult nowadays. Do you think you’re average? If you really want to stop being just one of the crowd, read further and stop being average forever.

1. They watch too much TV.

Watching TV is fine but too much is not good. It takes too much of your time with little benefit. Most of the programs are geared to entertain and not to educate. Plus, advertisements can influence you to buy the things you don’t need. Reduce, or stop altogether, watching TV because your time is too precious to be spent in front of an evil cube.

2. They play too much.

When you play too much that means you are spending too much time doing unproductive things. It’s okay to play if you want to release your stress, but like the case of TV above, too much playing around wouldn’t be good for our productivity. Reduce the amount of entertainment in all forms and focus more on doing meaningful work.

3. They are too lazy to track their time.

Tracking time is boring. But most people forget that it’s one of the most beneficial activities that promotes productivity. By tracking time, you will be more aware of how you use time. This will help you be more cautious of how you spend every second of your life. Time is a non-renewable resource, so it’s better to use it as efficiently as possible.

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4. They wake up late.

Waking up late means that you have less time to do things. It’s actually a hint of you being an unproductive person. Most people have the most energy in the morning, but if they aren’t awake at that time, all that energy will go to waste. That’s why waking up early is super important if you want to get more things done in a day. Waking up early can also help you to be better prepared because you can use that morning to get a good breakfast and relax before facing a busy day.

5. They rely too much on inspiration and motivation.

Moments of inspiration rarely come. If you rely on it too much, you will never get anything done. You are obligated to do what you are meant to do, no matter how inspired you are feeling on a particular day. That’s just how life goes.

6. They are lazy.

Being lazy is a huge barrier for productivity because it doesn’t promote action. When you’re not doing anything, you’re automatically average. Avoid laziness and stay active.

7. They don’t act on their thoughts.

All of us have great ideas and thoughts in our mind. What separates the successful with the average is that successful people act on their thoughts and try to turn their ideas into reality. Don’t discount the power of your thoughts and ideas. As long as you believe in them, act.

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8. They make too much assumptions.

Making assumptions about anything is bad if you don’t test it. Never ever settle to an assumption and think that it’s a fact. Assumptions need to always be tested because living on assumptions is the same as not living at all.

9. They lack critical thinking skills.

Most people don’t question the things they read, listen or hear. Questioning is important because it helps us to be better critical thinkers. There are too many people out there who are keen on lying and persuading you to their evil cause, and it’s up to you to question the things these people say and make sure that it’s in your interest to join them.

10. They have a fixed mindset.

When you want to learn something that’s difficult, will you give up? Will you say that the difficulties are caused by your lack of talent and you can’t do anything about it? If you say yes, then you have a fixed mindset. Average people have a fixed mindset and they believe that they’re stuck with whatever they think they’re born with. Don’t be like that. Cultivate a growth mindset and do whatever you want in life, no matter how difficult it might be. As long as you put in the effort, you’ll surely grow.

11. They lack patience.

Delaying gratification has been discovered to be a strong determinant of success. If you can’t delay rewards and seek quick fixes, then you might be average. Learn to seek rewards that are huge and takes time to achieve, and avoid small rewards that aren’t worth your time.

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12. They don’t take notes.

Average people forget that they have limited capacity to memorize things. There are memory techniques that can help us remember things, but they are short-term fixes. Learn to take note of the things that are interesting and insightful–your ideas, observations, and experiences. Carry a notebook with you so you can jot down all of them in one place.

13. They don’t listen to others.

Most of us love ourselves. We love to talk about us, but rarely do we become interested in others. You already know yourself and you are always with yourself. Why not be more interested in others? Always talking about yourself won’t bring you much benefit, but listening to others can give you interesting insight into yourself and the world around you.

14. They feel entitled.

Why are there so many complainers today? Many people have really strong sense of entitlement. They think that others should do this and that, and if they don’t, these complainers would tell that they don’t deserve that kind of service. Avoid complaining and speak out your concern in a respectful way. People don’t care about you and the world also doesn’t revolve around you. But they will care if you respect them.

15. They talk bad about others behind their back.

Gossiping is food for average people. Don’t talk bad about others behind their back because that makes you a coward. If you don’t like something about someone, talk to the person. It might hurt the person’s feeling but that’s better because at least the person can improve himself based on your feedback.

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16. They are too lazy to read books.

It’s difficult to find someone who makes reading a daily practice. Reading is a good replacement for the empty entertainment we have today. Learn to read every day and you’ll be closer to success.

17. They read passively.

You’ll still be average if you read passively. If you read only to consume the information and leave it at that, it’s a waste of time. Read to think and act. After reading a book, think about what you’ve read, summarize it, share it with your friends, or do just about anything so as long as you don’t let the information go stagnate inside your mind.

18. They hate to create.

Creating anything takes time and effort. And we know that it’s easier to be a consumer than to be a creator. Be a creator. Write a book, create a podcast, or record a video. There are many things you can create in this world and it’s a waste of your existence if you don’t do at least one of them.

19. They lack a strong purpose.

Everyone’s heard about it. You must live with a purpose. But having a purpose is not enough. Your purpose must be strong. To create that strong purpose, you’ll to remind yourself of the purpose every day. If it doesn’t make you continue moving, then it’s time to find a new one.

20. They call others average.

No, I’m not calling you an average person in this article. That’s up for you to decide. In the end, no one has the right to call others average. No one’s average in this world; their actions are average but the one’s doing it are not. So, stop looking at others as if you’re better than them. You are yourself, and they are themselves. Everyone has the potential to succeed as long as they stop doing average things.

Featured photo credit: Colleen is bored/Jason Scragz via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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