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20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

20 Things Average People Do That Prevent Them From Being Successful

We all hate it. The word ‘average’ is becoming an insult nowadays. Do you think you’re average? If you really want to stop being just one of the crowd, read further and stop being average forever.

1. They watch too much TV.

Watching TV is fine but too much is not good. It takes too much of your time with little benefit. Most of the programs are geared to entertain and not to educate. Plus, advertisements can influence you to buy the things you don’t need. Reduce, or stop altogether, watching TV because your time is too precious to be spent in front of an evil cube.

2. They play too much.

When you play too much that means you are spending too much time doing unproductive things. It’s okay to play if you want to release your stress, but like the case of TV above, too much playing around wouldn’t be good for our productivity. Reduce the amount of entertainment in all forms and focus more on doing meaningful work.

3. They are too lazy to track their time.

Tracking time is boring. But most people forget that it’s one of the most beneficial activities that promotes productivity. By tracking time, you will be more aware of how you use time. This will help you be more cautious of how you spend every second of your life. Time is a non-renewable resource, so it’s better to use it as efficiently as possible.

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4. They wake up late.

Waking up late means that you have less time to do things. It’s actually a hint of you being an unproductive person. Most people have the most energy in the morning, but if they aren’t awake at that time, all that energy will go to waste. That’s why waking up early is super important if you want to get more things done in a day. Waking up early can also help you to be better prepared because you can use that morning to get a good breakfast and relax before facing a busy day.

5. They rely too much on inspiration and motivation.

Moments of inspiration rarely come. If you rely on it too much, you will never get anything done. You are obligated to do what you are meant to do, no matter how inspired you are feeling on a particular day. That’s just how life goes.

6. They are lazy.

Being lazy is a huge barrier for productivity because it doesn’t promote action. When you’re not doing anything, you’re automatically average. Avoid laziness and stay active.

7. They don’t act on their thoughts.

All of us have great ideas and thoughts in our mind. What separates the successful with the average is that successful people act on their thoughts and try to turn their ideas into reality. Don’t discount the power of your thoughts and ideas. As long as you believe in them, act.

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8. They make too much assumptions.

Making assumptions about anything is bad if you don’t test it. Never ever settle to an assumption and think that it’s a fact. Assumptions need to always be tested because living on assumptions is the same as not living at all.

9. They lack critical thinking skills.

Most people don’t question the things they read, listen or hear. Questioning is important because it helps us to be better critical thinkers. There are too many people out there who are keen on lying and persuading you to their evil cause, and it’s up to you to question the things these people say and make sure that it’s in your interest to join them.

10. They have a fixed mindset.

When you want to learn something that’s difficult, will you give up? Will you say that the difficulties are caused by your lack of talent and you can’t do anything about it? If you say yes, then you have a fixed mindset. Average people have a fixed mindset and they believe that they’re stuck with whatever they think they’re born with. Don’t be like that. Cultivate a growth mindset and do whatever you want in life, no matter how difficult it might be. As long as you put in the effort, you’ll surely grow.

11. They lack patience.

Delaying gratification has been discovered to be a strong determinant of success. If you can’t delay rewards and seek quick fixes, then you might be average. Learn to seek rewards that are huge and takes time to achieve, and avoid small rewards that aren’t worth your time.

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12. They don’t take notes.

Average people forget that they have limited capacity to memorize things. There are memory techniques that can help us remember things, but they are short-term fixes. Learn to take note of the things that are interesting and insightful–your ideas, observations, and experiences. Carry a notebook with you so you can jot down all of them in one place.

13. They don’t listen to others.

Most of us love ourselves. We love to talk about us, but rarely do we become interested in others. You already know yourself and you are always with yourself. Why not be more interested in others? Always talking about yourself won’t bring you much benefit, but listening to others can give you interesting insight into yourself and the world around you.

14. They feel entitled.

Why are there so many complainers today? Many people have really strong sense of entitlement. They think that others should do this and that, and if they don’t, these complainers would tell that they don’t deserve that kind of service. Avoid complaining and speak out your concern in a respectful way. People don’t care about you and the world also doesn’t revolve around you. But they will care if you respect them.

15. They talk bad about others behind their back.

Gossiping is food for average people. Don’t talk bad about others behind their back because that makes you a coward. If you don’t like something about someone, talk to the person. It might hurt the person’s feeling but that’s better because at least the person can improve himself based on your feedback.

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16. They are too lazy to read books.

It’s difficult to find someone who makes reading a daily practice. Reading is a good replacement for the empty entertainment we have today. Learn to read every day and you’ll be closer to success.

17. They read passively.

You’ll still be average if you read passively. If you read only to consume the information and leave it at that, it’s a waste of time. Read to think and act. After reading a book, think about what you’ve read, summarize it, share it with your friends, or do just about anything so as long as you don’t let the information go stagnate inside your mind.

18. They hate to create.

Creating anything takes time and effort. And we know that it’s easier to be a consumer than to be a creator. Be a creator. Write a book, create a podcast, or record a video. There are many things you can create in this world and it’s a waste of your existence if you don’t do at least one of them.

19. They lack a strong purpose.

Everyone’s heard about it. You must live with a purpose. But having a purpose is not enough. Your purpose must be strong. To create that strong purpose, you’ll to remind yourself of the purpose every day. If it doesn’t make you continue moving, then it’s time to find a new one.

20. They call others average.

No, I’m not calling you an average person in this article. That’s up for you to decide. In the end, no one has the right to call others average. No one’s average in this world; their actions are average but the one’s doing it are not. So, stop looking at others as if you’re better than them. You are yourself, and they are themselves. Everyone has the potential to succeed as long as they stop doing average things.

Featured photo credit: Colleen is bored/Jason Scragz via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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