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20 Differences Between Friends And Best Friends

20 Differences Between Friends And Best Friends

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”

– Sarah Dessen

Best friends are in a special category in our lives. They did not earn the accolade ‘best’ for nothing, That joint prize was won after lots of joy, effort, hardship, companionship and affection.

With best friends, you make an investment for life and the dividends are priceless. Here are 20 differences which illustrate the differences between friends and best friends.

1. Friends will always be complimentary, but best friends will give you honest feedback.

Friends will always be ready to pat you on the back or praise you, but never dare to criticize you or give you honest feedback. Best friends, however, are there when you might have to confront a drinking problem or get a nasty looking lesion on your back treated. They will tell you straight on that you are going down the wrong road.

2. Friends may call you often, but best friends call you every day.

How many times have you heard of friends who say they have lost touch with their other friends? Friendship, like a garden, needs daily watering. With best friends, you call each other every day and your friendship will always blossom.

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3. Friends will not root for you, but your best friends will.

When you break up with a significant other, your best friend sympathizes and empathizes and says something like, “That bitch/bastard, you dodged a bullet there.”

Friends will probably ask what you will do now and simply put on a worried look.

4. Friends won’t give you advice when you really need it, but best friends will.

Friends may take the time out to listen, but there is no guarantee they will be able to guide you. Your best friend will sit down and offer his or her advice and practical wisdom when things go pear shaped.

5. Friends may be cautious about invites, but your best friends are not.

You invite some friends to a party and all they want to know is who will be there and what their relationship statuses are. Best friends will go with you, whatever the scene.

They are just great fun to be with and will inspire you with their good humor and zest for life, without asking cautious questions beforehand.

6. Friends will not care about loyalty, but best friends value it highly.

When people start to talk badly about you, friends may steer clear and will certainly not stand up for you because they are not committed. Best friends, on the other hand, know and value loyalty and will defend you to the hilt.

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7. Friends may be lukewarm supporters, but your best friends are always there.

When you want to apply for that dream job, friends have a habit of warning you of the competition that you may face. Best friends might do that too, but they are the ones who will also tell you to go for it.

They always remind you of all your great qualities, skills and experience.

8. Friends may joke, but your best friends remember all of your inside jokes.

Your best friend has all your inside jokes on his or her Rolodex and is ready to trot them out on the right occasion. Friends will probably have difficulty in remembering that particular little episode or may have forgotten it completely.

9. Friends may help you out, but best friends are there 24/7.

You might hesitate to call a friend if you have a soaring temperature at 2.a.m., but you can always phone your best friend for advice or just a sympathetic word.

10. Friends cannot always keep secrets, but best friends can.

We once had a mutual friend who always told her friends that “This is strictly confidential.” It never was! With your best friends, you know that your secrets are 100% safe.

11. Friends will rarely mention your mistakes, but your best friends will.

We all make mistakes in relationships, work and in family matters. Friends will rarely go the extra mile, but your best friends will always be able to tell you what went wrong and help you not to make the same mistake again.

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12. Friends are conscious of paying back, but best friends never think about that.

Whether it is money or favors, friends are always willing to pay back and expect their friends to remember to do so! With best friends, this is never even an issue and there is no counting to be done.

13. Friends do not understand the ins and outs of your love life, but best friends do.

Friends may not be willing to invest all that time and effort, and you may not feel confident enough to go into all the details. Best friends are great listeners and they know all the details, good and bad.

14. Friends may be strict timekeepers, but best friends are flexible.

We know punctuality is important, but sometimes friends take it to extremes and your 20 minutes to get ready seems like a spaceship launch countdown when certain friends are present. Best friends are totally relaxed and can occupy their time by doing something else while waiting.

15. Friends are wary of your obsessions, but best friends accept them.

We all have our obsessions. With friends, we may have to be a little careful because they seem to think that being weird is not quite mainstream and they may often frown. Best friends just laugh off each other’s obsessions though and can joke about them.

16. Friends do not want to hear the same things all the time, but best friends thrive on repetition.

The same old stories, the inside jokes, the things we repeat over and over again, are all doled out carefully with friends because we are afraid of being repetitive. Best friends tolerate and thrive on repeating the same old things and know how it adds reassurance and comfort to a friendship.

17. Friends do not view you as a real soul mate, but best friends do.

Friends are great for company, fun and being supportive. But best friends are like getting an upgrade. The idea of being a soul mate is completely natural for them because you will always be there for each other and understand each other perfectly.

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18. Friends may not be there in the hard times, but best friends will.

Have you noticed how friends are suddenly busy when illness, hardship and depression strike? They fade away like melting snow. Watch the video here to show how best friends will never have to face that problem.

19. Friends may be happy about your wedding, but your best friend is over the moon.

When you announce your wedding or some other happy event, your friends will smile and be enthusiastic. But your best friends go one step further and get more excited about it than you even are.

20. Friends may be jealous, but best friends never are.

Jealousy can wreck many a friendship. There may be sensitivities that are never revealed and they may then ruin a friendship like weeds in a garden. Best friends are never jealous because their bond has thrived on openness, trust, loyalty and being supportive. Their garden is in full bloom.

Featured photo credit: Best friends forever/Don LaVange via flickr.com

More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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