“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”
– Sarah Dessen
Best friends are in a special category in our lives. They did not earn the accolade ‘best’ for nothing, That joint prize was won after lots of joy, effort, hardship, companionship and affection.
With best friends, you make an investment for life and the dividends are priceless. Here are 20 differences which illustrate the differences between friends and best friends.
1. Friends will always be complimentary, but best friends will give you honest feedback.
Friends will always be ready to pat you on the back or praise you, but never dare to criticize you or give you honest feedback. Best friends, however, are there when you might have to confront a drinking problem or get a nasty looking lesion on your back treated. They will tell you straight on that you are going down the wrong road.
2. Friends may call you often, but best friends call you every day.
How many times have you heard of friends who say they have lost touch with their other friends? Friendship, like a garden, needs daily watering. With best friends, you call each other every day and your friendship will always blossom.Advertising
3. Friends will not root for you, but your best friends will.
When you break up with a significant other, your best friend sympathizes and empathizes and says something like, “That bitch/bastard, you dodged a bullet there.”
Friends will probably ask what you will do now and simply put on a worried look.
4. Friends won’t give you advice when you really need it, but best friends will.
Friends may take the time out to listen, but there is no guarantee they will be able to guide you. Your best friend will sit down and offer his or her advice and practical wisdom when things go pear shaped.
5. Friends may be cautious about invites, but your best friends are not.
You invite some friends to a party and all they want to know is who will be there and what their relationship statuses are. Best friends will go with you, whatever the scene.
They are just great fun to be with and will inspire you with their good humor and zest for life, without asking cautious questions beforehand.
6. Friends will not care about loyalty, but best friends value it highly.
When people start to talk badly about you, friends may steer clear and will certainly not stand up for you because they are not committed. Best friends, on the other hand, know and value loyalty and will defend you to the hilt.Advertising
7. Friends may be lukewarm supporters, but your best friends are always there.
When you want to apply for that dream job, friends have a habit of warning you of the competition that you may face. Best friends might do that too, but they are the ones who will also tell you to go for it.
They always remind you of all your great qualities, skills and experience.
8. Friends may joke, but your best friends remember all of your inside jokes.
Your best friend has all your inside jokes on his or her Rolodex and is ready to trot them out on the right occasion. Friends will probably have difficulty in remembering that particular little episode or may have forgotten it completely.
9. Friends may help you out, but best friends are there 24/7.
You might hesitate to call a friend if you have a soaring temperature at 2.a.m., but you can always phone your best friend for advice or just a sympathetic word.
10. Friends cannot always keep secrets, but best friends can.
We once had a mutual friend who always told her friends that “This is strictly confidential.” It never was! With your best friends, you know that your secrets are 100% safe.
11. Friends will rarely mention your mistakes, but your best friends will.
We all make mistakes in relationships, work and in family matters. Friends will rarely go the extra mile, but your best friends will always be able to tell you what went wrong and help you not to make the same mistake again.Advertising
12. Friends are conscious of paying back, but best friends never think about that.
Whether it is money or favors, friends are always willing to pay back and expect their friends to remember to do so! With best friends, this is never even an issue and there is no counting to be done.
13. Friends do not understand the ins and outs of your love life, but best friends do.
Friends may not be willing to invest all that time and effort, and you may not feel confident enough to go into all the details. Best friends are great listeners and they know all the details, good and bad.
14. Friends may be strict timekeepers, but best friends are flexible.
We know punctuality is important, but sometimes friends take it to extremes and your 20 minutes to get ready seems like a spaceship launch countdown when certain friends are present. Best friends are totally relaxed and can occupy their time by doing something else while waiting.
15. Friends are wary of your obsessions, but best friends accept them.
We all have our obsessions. With friends, we may have to be a little careful because they seem to think that being weird is not quite mainstream and they may often frown. Best friends just laugh off each other’s obsessions though and can joke about them.
16. Friends do not want to hear the same things all the time, but best friends thrive on repetition.
The same old stories, the inside jokes, the things we repeat over and over again, are all doled out carefully with friends because we are afraid of being repetitive. Best friends tolerate and thrive on repeating the same old things and know how it adds reassurance and comfort to a friendship.
17. Friends do not view you as a real soul mate, but best friends do.
Friends are great for company, fun and being supportive. But best friends are like getting an upgrade. The idea of being a soul mate is completely natural for them because you will always be there for each other and understand each other perfectly.Advertising
18. Friends may not be there in the hard times, but best friends will.
Have you noticed how friends are suddenly busy when illness, hardship and depression strike? They fade away like melting snow. Watch the video here to show how best friends will never have to face that problem.
19. Friends may be happy about your wedding, but your best friend is over the moon.
When you announce your wedding or some other happy event, your friends will smile and be enthusiastic. But your best friends go one step further and get more excited about it than you even are.
20. Friends may be jealous, but best friends never are.
Jealousy can wreck many a friendship. There may be sensitivities that are never revealed and they may then ruin a friendship like weeds in a garden. Best friends are never jealous because their bond has thrived on openness, trust, loyalty and being supportive. Their garden is in full bloom.
Featured photo credit: Best friends forever/Don LaVange via flickr.com
Last Updated on January 5, 2022
How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)
We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.
Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.
Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.
Table of Contents
Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.
Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger
Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:
This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.
Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.
This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.
Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.
An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.
Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.
Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.
Healthy Ways to Express Anger
What about the healthy ways to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.
Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.
Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.
Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.
Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.
Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.
When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.
Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.
Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.
How to Deal With Anger
If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?
1. Slow Down
From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.
In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.
When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.
2. Focus on the “I”
Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”
When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.
3. Work out
When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.
Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.
Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.
4. Seek Help When Needed
There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.
5. Practice Relaxation
We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.
That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.
Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.
Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.
7. Be Grateful
It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.
Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.
Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.
During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.
Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.
More Resources on Anger Management
- 10 Anger Management Lessons No One Should Miss
- 20 Things to Do When You Feel Extremely Angry
- How To Let Go Of Anger When You Just Can’t Stop Thinking About It
- 20 Effective Ways to Control a Bad Temper
Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com
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