“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”
– Sarah Dessen
Best friends are in a special category in our lives. They did not earn the accolade ‘best’ for nothing, That joint prize was won after lots of joy, effort, hardship, companionship and affection.
With best friends, you make an investment for life and the dividends are priceless. Here are 20 differences which illustrate the differences between friends and best friends.
1. Friends will always be complimentary, but best friends will give you honest feedback.
Friends will always be ready to pat you on the back or praise you, but never dare to criticize you or give you honest feedback. Best friends, however, are there when you might have to confront a drinking problem or get a nasty looking lesion on your back treated. They will tell you straight on that you are going down the wrong road.
2. Friends may call you often, but best friends call you every day.
How many times have you heard of friends who say they have lost touch with their other friends? Friendship, like a garden, needs daily watering. With best friends, you call each other every day and your friendship will always blossom.Advertising
3. Friends will not root for you, but your best friends will.
When you break up with a significant other, your best friend sympathizes and empathizes and says something like, “That bitch/bastard, you dodged a bullet there.”
Friends will probably ask what you will do now and simply put on a worried look.
4. Friends won’t give you advice when you really need it, but best friends will.
Friends may take the time out to listen, but there is no guarantee they will be able to guide you. Your best friend will sit down and offer his or her advice and practical wisdom when things go pear shaped.
5. Friends may be cautious about invites, but your best friends are not.
You invite some friends to a party and all they want to know is who will be there and what their relationship statuses are. Best friends will go with you, whatever the scene.
They are just great fun to be with and will inspire you with their good humor and zest for life, without asking cautious questions beforehand.
6. Friends will not care about loyalty, but best friends value it highly.
When people start to talk badly about you, friends may steer clear and will certainly not stand up for you because they are not committed. Best friends, on the other hand, know and value loyalty and will defend you to the hilt.Advertising
7. Friends may be lukewarm supporters, but your best friends are always there.
When you want to apply for that dream job, friends have a habit of warning you of the competition that you may face. Best friends might do that too, but they are the ones who will also tell you to go for it.
They always remind you of all your great qualities, skills and experience.
8. Friends may joke, but your best friends remember all of your inside jokes.
Your best friend has all your inside jokes on his or her Rolodex and is ready to trot them out on the right occasion. Friends will probably have difficulty in remembering that particular little episode or may have forgotten it completely.
9. Friends may help you out, but best friends are there 24/7.
You might hesitate to call a friend if you have a soaring temperature at 2.a.m., but you can always phone your best friend for advice or just a sympathetic word.
10. Friends cannot always keep secrets, but best friends can.
We once had a mutual friend who always told her friends that “This is strictly confidential.” It never was! With your best friends, you know that your secrets are 100% safe.
11. Friends will rarely mention your mistakes, but your best friends will.
We all make mistakes in relationships, work and in family matters. Friends will rarely go the extra mile, but your best friends will always be able to tell you what went wrong and help you not to make the same mistake again.Advertising
12. Friends are conscious of paying back, but best friends never think about that.
Whether it is money or favors, friends are always willing to pay back and expect their friends to remember to do so! With best friends, this is never even an issue and there is no counting to be done.
13. Friends do not understand the ins and outs of your love life, but best friends do.
Friends may not be willing to invest all that time and effort, and you may not feel confident enough to go into all the details. Best friends are great listeners and they know all the details, good and bad.
14. Friends may be strict timekeepers, but best friends are flexible.
We know punctuality is important, but sometimes friends take it to extremes and your 20 minutes to get ready seems like a spaceship launch countdown when certain friends are present. Best friends are totally relaxed and can occupy their time by doing something else while waiting.
15. Friends are wary of your obsessions, but best friends accept them.
We all have our obsessions. With friends, we may have to be a little careful because they seem to think that being weird is not quite mainstream and they may often frown. Best friends just laugh off each other’s obsessions though and can joke about them.
16. Friends do not want to hear the same things all the time, but best friends thrive on repetition.
The same old stories, the inside jokes, the things we repeat over and over again, are all doled out carefully with friends because we are afraid of being repetitive. Best friends tolerate and thrive on repeating the same old things and know how it adds reassurance and comfort to a friendship.
17. Friends do not view you as a real soul mate, but best friends do.
Friends are great for company, fun and being supportive. But best friends are like getting an upgrade. The idea of being a soul mate is completely natural for them because you will always be there for each other and understand each other perfectly.Advertising
18. Friends may not be there in the hard times, but best friends will.
Have you noticed how friends are suddenly busy when illness, hardship and depression strike? They fade away like melting snow. Watch the video here to show how best friends will never have to face that problem.
19. Friends may be happy about your wedding, but your best friend is over the moon.
When you announce your wedding or some other happy event, your friends will smile and be enthusiastic. But your best friends go one step further and get more excited about it than you even are.
20. Friends may be jealous, but best friends never are.
Jealousy can wreck many a friendship. There may be sensitivities that are never revealed and they may then ruin a friendship like weeds in a garden. Best friends are never jealous because their bond has thrived on openness, trust, loyalty and being supportive. Their garden is in full bloom.
Featured photo credit: Best friends forever/Don LaVange via flickr.com
Last Updated on February 11, 2021
Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating
How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.
Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…
The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective
Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.
The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf!
The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.
The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…
Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.
The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.
The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.
This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.
The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.
The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.
Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.
The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!
The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.
Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.
The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.
The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.
Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.
The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.
The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.
And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.
|||^||Skills You Need: Barriers To Communication|
|||^||Reference: Perceptual Barrier Communication|
|||^||Chron: Attitudinal Barriers to Communication|
|||^||Guides: Overcoming Language Barriers|
|||^||Let’s Live: Emotional Barrier|
|||^||Businesstopia: Cultural Barrier Communication|
|||^||Guides: The Seven Barriers of Communication|