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17 Signs You Have The Coolest Mom In The World

17 Signs You Have The Coolest Mom In The World

I don’t know about you, but my mom is seriously one of the coolest people out there.

She’s always been there to make me laugh, wipe away my tears, and help me become the person I am today.

Is your mom super cool? Here are some signs that you are ridiculously lucky to have your mom around.

1. Your mom is one of your best friends.

She’s the first to know about everything new in your life, and you have regular hangouts. For example, my mom and I try to go out for sushi, and we even went on a double-feature mother-daughter date at the movies.

2. But your mom makes sure she puts her role as mother over her role as friend.

Even if you guys are BFFs, she is your mother before she’s your bud, and even if you don’t like it, she will make sure to put your best interests at heart. My mom makes it clear that she’s not only my friend and drinking buddy, but someone who will put me in my place when I need it.

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3. You can always count on your mom to be there to listen.

If you’re going through heartbreak or need advice, you call her up. She will listen, always, without judgment. (Thanks, Mom.)

4. Your mom is your biggest cheerleader.

My mom is always the one to encourage me and lift me up, no matter what.

Got a dream? You can bet your mom is there to support it, and she will constantly remind you that you need to chase it, even when you’re not so sure of it yourself.

5. You and your mom have the best inside jokes ever.

You’re constantly giggling to each other. In fact, it’s quite a trip watching you two interact on a day-to-day basis. My mom and I are constantly cracking each other up (we’re so dang hilarious).

6. You and your mom always stick together at family gatherings.

Who else is gonna keep you entertained while your great aunt Ethel talks about her cats? I always stick to my mom like glue at family gatherings so we can giggle at the weirdness of it all.

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7. Your mom always puts family first.

Even if she’s got an awesome career and social life, family always, always comes first. She was never late to pick you up from school because of a meeting, and she never forgot your birthday, because you were — and still are — the priority in her life.

8. Your mom always calls and asks how your life is — and she genuinely cares.

She needs to know how you’re doing on a regular basis, and if you say anything other than “I’m doing great,” she will try her hardest to rectify the situation.

9. Your mom always keeps a watchful eye. . . but she doesn’t hover.

You never feel smothered by her, but you know she’s always got one eye on you to make sure you’re on the right path. She tries to stay relatable and remember what it was like being your age.

10. Your mom lets you make mistakes, but she’s always there to help you get back on your feet.

My mom lets me go through heartbreak or fall on my face sometimes — and I know how hard it is for her to watch. But she knows that I need to make my own mistakes, and she’s always there to help me back up.

A cool mom knows that she can’t live your life for you, and she knows you’re going to date someone you shouldn’t, or hit a rough patch every now and then. But when you inevitably do, she is there to wipe away your tears.

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11. Your mom knows that she’s just an older, wiser kid at heart.

I still remember what my mom said to me before I left for college: “Here’s the most important piece of advice I can give you: if you get the spins after drinking too much, just bite your tongue and it will distract you.”

Cool moms don’t pretend like they’ve been chaste and perfect their whole life. A cool mom doesn’t play the “holier-than-thou” card, because she is human too, and she’s made the same mistakes you have. She knows that you’ll make them too, and she uses her wisdom to help you whenever you need it.

12. Everyone loves your mom.

Your friends totally want to hang out with your mom, and have suggested she come along on more than one occasion. My friends are currently begging me to invite my mom to my New Year’s party this year. I’m not kidding.

13. Because your mom is hilarious.

She totally knows what’s going on, and she’s struck the perfect balance of being “in” and still being a wise, strong woman. The result is a fabulous sense of humor.

14. Even when you’re mad at her, you still know how much you care about her.

If your mom is like mine, she drives you crazy sometimes, because she always has your best interests at heart, and that means you butt heads every now and then. But even when you do, you can’t possibly love her any less.

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15. Your answer to “Who’s your biggest hero?” is always “my mom.”

Stand aside, Wonder Woman. Mom rocks way more than you do.

I believe I’ve written quite a few essays over the years illustrating this very point.

16. You can’t imagine who you would be without your mom…

Your mom built such a strong foundation for you. It’s difficult to separate who you are as a person from who she helped you become as a person.

I try to picture my life without my mom, and I truly can’t.

17. …because your mom is one of the most important people in your world.

Because what you do without her?

Love you, Mom.

Featured photo credit: LuLu Taylor via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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