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15 Things Only A Homebody Would Understand

15 Things Only A Homebody Would Understand

Do you prefer to stay at home all the time? Quite often, you tend to get labeled as boring or anti-social. However, people have reasons for their actions. So, let’s look at some reasons on why you choose to be a homebody. I am sure there are many reasons but let’s look at 15 things only a homebody would understand.

1. Most of your best days are spent alone.

Solitude is an introvert’s caffeine, and it can only be assured when you are at home. The Boston Globe reported on a Harvard study, which showed people form more lasting and accurate memories when they are experiencing something alone.

2. You love to meditate alone.

Did you know that meditation can reduce depression? A team of John Hopkins researchers found in 47 clinical trials that meditation can ease anxiety, depression, and many types of pain.

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3. You prefer to read books when you are at home.

I think most people know the benefits of reading books. One example is from a Wall Street Journal article, which reported at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted book reading reduces stress. Reading books in public places is not easy because it is often impossible to control the surrounding environment. That’s why we prefer to read books when we are at home.

4. You love cooking a meal all for yourself to enjoy alone.

Sometimes, it is quite stressful for us to go out to eat. You have to worry about things like wait times and dealing with unpleasant people. There is nothing better than cooking a meal for yourself. It is cheaper, and you can get to stay home to do it!

5. You prefer social media over physical interaction.

As a homebody, we can interact when it is convenient for us. We can go on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit and log off when we are tired of it. It is often rude to abruptly end a conversation when you are talking to someone in public. That’s something that you do not have to worry about being online.

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6. You rejoice when someone cancels their plans with you.

As a homebody, our favorite place to hang out is — at home! So, we are not usually bothered when someone has to cancel their plans with us. We are happy about it.

7. You like to devote most of your time alone to accelerate your personal development.

Solitude often gives us time to look at ourselves on a deeper level. We can achieve personal development at a faster rate when we are not constantly distracted by outside influences.

8. You believe that building an online business is much more important than going out with friends.

Do you ever wonder what other hermits are probably doing in the privacy of their homes? Believe it or not, many are closet entrepreneurs. They dread going to work at a job that they hate to get paid a salary that reminds them: “Why am I still working there?”. For them, building a business in their free time is much more important than going out with friends.

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9. You do not want to go out to the movies because you can watch them at home.

As a homebody, we typically aren’t excited to rush out to the movie theaters to watch the latest movie. There are thousands of movies via Netflix or Hulu that we can choose instead. It is cheaper, and we do not have to worry about paying premium prices for movie snacks.

10. You truly appreciate enjoying a beer or bottle of wine alone.

We all have our preferences in our alcoholic beverages, but it is much better to enjoy it alone – at least for the homebody. We can drink as much as we want without dealing with other people.

11. You like to entertain yourself at times by playing video games.

There are more video games now than there ever was a decade ago. There are so many genres that you can play just about any video game, according to your interests. The University of Rochester has found that people who play action-based video games make accurate decisions 25% faster.

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12. You welcome bad weather because it gives you another reason to stay at home.

Record temperatures? Snowstorms? Who cares? Not you. It puts a big smile on your face because you have another reason about why you should stay at home.

13. You like to devote most of your time on thinking about your life.

Steve Pavlina, international speaker and author of the bestselling book: Personal Development for Smart People, gives 14 Reasons to Become More Conscious.  As a homebody, some of Pavlina’s suggestions are things that we naturally work on implementing in our lives.

14. You really enjoy music in the comforts of your home.

Listening to your favorite playlist is a great way to relax at home. The USA Today has shared 20 ways about how music can benefit your health.

15. You will not invite friends over but rather just one friend as an opportunity to build upon your friendship.

While there are times that we may have several friends over our house for a social gathering, we really enjoy the company of one friend. Introverts have always valued quality over quantity regarding friendships. If you are a homebody, it is very likely that you are also an introvert.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Leuthard via imcreator.com

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Kallen Diggs

Bestselling Author / Magazine Editor / Syndicated Radio Show Host

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Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

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  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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