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15 Signs You’re An Introvert, Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

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15 Signs You’re An Introvert, Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

Many people associate introversion with shyness, which is untrue. In fact, introverted people tend to simply find that they get more energy from being alone or in very small groups, as opposed to extroverts who find that large groups give them more energy.  Because of this misconception about shyness, many people assume that they aren’t introverts when they actually are. Here are 15 signs that you’re an introvert, even if you hadn’t ever previously thought that you were.

1. You find crowds stressful.

Crowds are definitely not an introvert’s favorite place to be. Concerts, rallies, conferences, sports arenas: these can all be very uncomfortable places for an introvert.

2. You aren’t thrilled to meet new people.

This isn’t to say that you don’t make friends easily, but that sometimes meeting new people is a big drain on your energy. Simply keeping up a conversation with a new person is difficult, and you leave the conversation feeling drained.

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3. You’re great at speeches, but not great afterwards.

Just because you’re an introvert, it doesn’t mean that you’re not outgoing and confident! It just means that you might be better at public speaking than the schmoozing that comes afterwards. You can give a great wedding toast, but mingling during the reception isn’t your style.

4. You’re friends with extroverts.

Opposites attract, right? Many introverts are friends with extroverts because this provides balance for both types of people. Sometimes, introverts need to be led out of their shells a bit, and extroverts need to recognize the benefits of a quiet night in.

5. You don’t like interviews (in the beginning).

Job interviews aren’t exactly an introvert’s favorite thing. However, introverts can be great at them! Going in, you might be nervous, but once you get to know your interviewer a little better, you’re able to really hit it off.

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6. You’re a loyal friend.

Introverts tend to be very loyal and honest people. Because introverts’ energy comes from themselves, and not from others, it’s easy to be honest and up front with your friends.

7. You like doing nothing sometimes.

Extroverts are always going from one thing to another, but introverts see the value in a quiet night in every once in a while. Just doing nothing is a way for you to relax and re-energize.

8. You wait to text back.

You aren’t glued to your phone all the time. When you do see that you have a text from a friend, you wait until you’re ready to read it and respond. After all, you like to do things at your own pace.

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9. You don’t trust easily.

For introverts, it can be difficult finding friends who respect your introverted nature. So when you do start becoming chummy with someone, you might take a little longer than an extrovert when it comes to trusting that person. Often, this means you won’t get hurt as often as an extrovert, and your friends are people you can really count on.

10. You write.

Many introverts are writers of some kind. They often pursue careers in writing, or prefer to spend their free time writing for fun. Writing is a way for you to really connect to yourself, so it’s a way to recharge.

11. You’re courteous.

Often, introverts are more mindful of their surroundings and perceptive to small details. This makes you a courteous guest and host, and people love having you around.

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12. You plan ahead.

While extroverts may like to fly by the seat of their pants, that’s not usually what introverts are like. You probably plan things out so that everything runs smoothly and with no issues. This can be anything from a camping trip to running errands, but having a plan is key.

13. You’ve got an old soul.

When you’re younger and an introvert, many people will say that you’ve got an old soul. Often, introverted tendencies are seen as maturity and wisdom. And who doesn’t want to seem wise?

14. You know what you like.

Introverts often know what they want and when they want it. It’s a definite perk to the trait. While you’re certainly not afraid to try new things, you’re never holding anyone up with your indecision.

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15. You’re balanced.

Often, introverts keep a balance of alone time and socializing in different settings. Introverts often balance the two and go between them in order to be as energized as possible without sacrificing social time. This balance is actually great, as it gives you an opportunity to have fun without burning out.

Featured photo credit: Signed model release filed with Shutterstock, Inc via shutterstock.com

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Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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