Advertising
Advertising

15 Signs To Show You Have Found Your BFF

15 Signs To Show You Have Found Your BFF

With age, your BFF becomes your most trusted and treasured friend. You not only appreciate each others similarities, but also each others differences. You know way too much about each other but love each other even more, and time has done nothing to put a dampener on your friendship; you’re both just as crazy, as silly and have just as much fun as ever. You don’t know what your life would be without them. From lost loves to lost jobs, you’re there for each other, and nothing or no one will taint that wonderful bond!

So here’s to BFF’s, and here’s to what makes you guys so great!

1.  You don’t have to be perfect

You're Perfect

    The best friend who takes you as you are, no questions asked, is the greatest! You don’t have to have everything together, or even know where you’re going to nab that first class buddy. They respect your journey, whatever that may be, and will happily travel alongside you. Travel companion for life!

    2.  You don’t have to walk on eggshells

    Overreaction

      Respecting your friend and being considerate of their feelings shows great love and care, but if you’re always having to tread carefully, afraid of their [over]reaction, or mind what you say lest you anger the beast, then you won’t be able to build anything real. Not only is this boring, but means you can’t be honest with each other and that’s a sure fire way to lead to a superficial friendship.

      3.   You don’t have to be identical

      Advertising

      Differences and Similarities

        You don’t have to always agree or you may not always see eye to eye, but that’s actually a great thing. You love each other’s differences just as much as your similarities! Plus it’s the differences that keep things fun and interesting.

        4.  You have each others back

        Got your back

          When someone has wronged your bestie in any way, you’re right there, prepared to kick-ass! You know how great your best friend is so are prepared to take down anyone who fails to treat them with the love and respect they deserve. Not to worry, they’re sure to see the light soon! And when all has been, ahem… taken care of, you’re right there to comfort your friend and remind them how wonderful they are!

          5.  You lift each other up

          You Lift Me Up

            The beauty of a true friendship is that no matter what is going on in each others life, no one feels superior to, or better than, the other. Instead you go out of your way to lift each other up. Thinking you’re better or superior to your friend is a sure way to kill any friendship. Regardless of what is going on in their life, they are still the awesome person you met all those many moons ago.

            6.  You can laugh about things

            Laughing

              One of the best ingredients for a long-lasting friendship is laughter. Not only will it help to keep both of you young, but it works to unite you over things that would’ve otherwise broken you. Being able to laugh off things shows you don’t take yourselves too seriously, you’re relaxed and comfortable in each others company, and are able to enjoy and deal with the downright craziness in this topsy-turvy world; all while sporting Cheshire cat grins!

              Advertising

              7.  You become stronger during adversity

              Here for you

                When the load gets too heavy for you to carry, your BFF is right there! Through the good, bad and downright unfair, they are there for you! There’s no greater test of friendship than when someone is faced with unfortunate circumstances, or events that are complete back breakers. However, coming out of anything tough, with your best friend at your side, you guys will be unbreakable!

                8. Your family loves them

                Family

                  They are practically part of the family! Your siblings treat them like one of their own, and you’re almost certain that your parents like them better than you! But that’s okay with you. You wouldn’t change that bond for the world. Especially since your family pretty much hates everyone else!

                  9. You get each others weirdness

                  Weirdness

                    You both do weird-weird so well, it’s the norm for you. Others don’t seem to get you, and people are just freaked out by how weird you both are, that you often have to suppress the weirdness. But when you two get together, it’s all good! There, in your safe and weird environment you two get it all out. And you know what, being weird has never felt so awesome!

                    10. You know when something’s up

                    Something's Up

                      You’re best friend has gotten quite good at telling when you’re all out of sorts. It’s almost scary! They’ve sussed it out, and all the lying and covering up in the world does nothing to hide the reality that you aren’t yourself. So quit faking!

                      Advertising

                      11. You are genuinely happy for each other

                      Happy

                        You are each others biggest fan, and the ultimate cheerleaders when something amazing happens for either of you. You’re right there celebrating when they succeed, and they’re proudly telling others of your achievements and successes. Simply put, you’ve got being happy for one another down to a fine art.

                        12. They push you to be more, and to be better

                        Believe

                          They’re like a personal trainer: they want the best from you and believe you can do it! They’ll urge you on, push and pull you to be the best version of you they know you can be. Their belief in you is infectious. How can you not believe in yourself the way they do?

                          13. You are comfortable with silence

                          Comfortable Silence

                            You can be with each other in total silence and be having the time of your lives. To everyone else, you may look as though you’ve had some kind of falling out, but you both know it’s just because you’re so comfortable around each other, you have no need to fill otherwise uncomfortable silences with noise. Plus, this a great episode so…

                            14. Your lips are sealed

                            Advertising

                            Sealed

                              You know you can trust your BFF with anything, and it will go no further. They are a volt when it comes to those things you’ve shared with them, and you, too, are a safe haven for their… unmentionables. No amount of prying, prodding or trickery will get you to reveal the things you two talk about in confidence, so everyone might as well just stop asking.

                              15. You make time for each other

                              Getting Together

                                Work, studies and family commitments are just some of the things that take away from time spent with your BFF, but you try and make it a point to schedule some time to see each other as much as possible. Sure, you may talk daily, even for a few minutes, just so you can catch up, but when you do get together, it’s simply the best! You talk and laugh for hours, getting silly and reminiscing about the good times, whilst having the time of your lives.

                                And when you part, you’re reminded why they are, your BFF!

                                Featured photo credit: Grace and Frankie/Melissa Moseley for Netflix via blogs.indiewire.com

                                More by this author

                                Patricia C. Osei-Oppong

                                Writer, Poet, Marketer

                                15 Tell-Tale Signs You’re an Old Soul and Think Differently 11 Signs That Your Job Is Not Suitable For You What Does It Mean to Be an Extroverted Introvert? Toxic Behaviors That Are Making You Unhappy (And You Don’t Even Notice) If You Want A Long-Lasting Relationship, You Should Keep Doing These 10 Things

                                Trending in Communication

                                1 Why Intrinsic Motivation Is So Powerful (And How to Find It) 2 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Future 3 How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t 4 Midlife Crisis in Men: The Definitive Survival Guide 5 30 Powerful Success and Failure Quotes That Will Lead You to Success

                                Read Next

                                Advertising
                                Advertising
                                Advertising

                                Last Updated on September 30, 2020

                                How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Future

                                How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Future

                                We often hear people talk about the importance of living in the present and the different ways it will benefit us. It all sounds wonderful, especially the lower levels of stress and anxiety, but how exactly can we live in the moment when our mind is constantly worrying about the past or plans for the future?

                                In this article, we’ll discuss some of the benefits of living in the moment you may not be aware of. Then, we’ll look at some of the obstacles and why we worry. Finally, and most importantly, I’ll show you how to live in the moment and stop worrying using some simple practices that you can easily incorporate into your busy schedule.

                                The result: a happier and more fulfilling life.

                                The Importance of Living in the Moment

                                “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” -Buddha

                                While it can be difficult to live in the moment, it has innumerable benefits.

                                Here are just a few that will enhance your life tremendously:

                                Better Health

                                By reducing stress and anxiety, you avoid many of the associated health consequences, such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. Studies have shown that being present can also improve psychological well-being[1].

                                Improve Your Relationships

                                Have you ever been with someone who is physically present, but mentally s/he’s a million miles away?

                                Being with unavailable people is a struggle, and building relationships with them extremely difficult.

                                How about being with someone who is fully present? We enjoy being with her/him because we can make a much deeper connection.

                                By living in the moment, you can be that person other people enjoy being with, and you make relationships much easier.

                                Greater Self-Control

                                You have greater control over your mind, body, and emotions. Imagine how much better your life would be if it weren’t at the mercy of a racing mind and unpredictable emotions. You would certainly be more at peace, and much happier[2].

                                Why Do We Worry?

                                Before we answer this question, it’s important to distinguish between worry and concern.

                                When we are concerned about something, we are more likely dealing with a real problem with realistic solutions. Then, once we do whatever we can to address the problem, we’re willing to live with the outcome.

                                Worrying, on the other hand, involves unrealistic thinking. We may worry about a problem that doesn’t really exist, or dwell on all the bad things that can happen as a result. Then, we feel unable to deal with the outcome. Either way, we have difficulty dealing with uncertainty, which is a normal part of life.

                                Advertising

                                Certainly, some of our problems may not have desirable outcomes, such as a serious health issue. Some problems may be beyond our control, such as civil unrest or economic downturn. In such cases, it can be hard to avoid worrying, but not impossible.

                                3 Steps to Start to Live in the Moment

                                Step 1: Overcome Worrying

                                In order to overcome worrying, we need to do two things:

                                Calm Your Mind

                                When you calm your mind, you are able to see more clearly.

                                The reason some problems seem so daunting is that our mind is racing so fast that we cannot see things as they truly are. Then, we make up a bunch of possible scenarios in our mind, most of which are unlikely to come true.

                                In addition to seeing more clearly, a calm mind will help us think more realistically. Unrealistic thinking is fueled by confusion and uncontrolled emotions. Calming your mind will reduce confusion and calm your emotions, allowing you to live in the present.

                                Focus on Solutions Instead of Problems

                                Some people tend to be more solution-oriented, and others more problem-oriented. Some of the factors that may determine this are gender, upbringing, and education.

                                People with more education tend to be problem-solvers. That is what their years of education train them to do. In addition, their jobs probably reinforce this way of thinking.

                                If you’re not problem-solving oriented, don’t worry. You can train yourself to worry less. We’ll discuss that soon.

                                Step 2: Identify Obstacles to Living in the Moment

                                In today’s busy world, it can be a challenge to live in the moment. The reasons revolve around how our mind works, as well as outside influences.

                                Racing Mind

                                Many busy people have a racing mind that never seems to slow down. Their mind gets so agitated from too much sensory stimulation.

                                You see, anything that stimulates any of our five senses will trigger a thought, and that thought leads to another, and then another, and so on.

                                If you have a busy life, all your activities will overstimulate your mind and make it seemingly impossible to slow it down.

                                Unpleasant Situations and a Troublesome Past

                                None of us want to be in unpleasant situations, or remember those of the past. They can bring up painful emotions, which we don’t want to feel.

                                So how do most people cope with painful emotions?

                                By doing whatever we can to avoid them, we can take our mind to another place and time where things are more pleasant.

                                Advertising

                                In other words, we avoid living in the present moment.

                                Some people resort to things that stimulate sensory pleasure, such as food, alcohol, or sex. Others will consume substances that dull their mind and keep them from thinking about unpleasant or stressful situations.

                                A Wandering Mind

                                From the moment we are born (likely sooner) until the time we die, our body and mind are active performing some function. Therefore, it’s natural for our mind to have some level of activity, whether conscious or unconscious.

                                Generally, a wandering mind is unproductive. One thought starts an endless chain of thoughts, and this process can go on until we need our mind to perform a specific function or get distracted with something else.

                                Now, there are times when a wandering mind can be productive, such as when creating works of art, or trying to find creative solutions to problems. In such cases, we need our mind to explore different possibilities[3].

                                Outside Influences

                                Most of us are not fully aware of how our environment and social norms influence our thinking and behavior. People and institutions are constantly competing for our attention. The media draws our attention to the past, and advertising usually to the future[4].

                                Many people around us who dwell on the past or future try to draw us to their way of thinking. Even the whole concept of the American dream is geared toward the future. It tells us that if we acquire things like a good career, family, and house, then we’ll be happy.

                                Step 3: Practice Mindfulness

                                So how can we live in the moment in a world that is constantly trying to draw our attention to the past and future?

                                Before we get into concrete actions you can take, it’s important to understand what mindfulness is. You’ve probably heard the term before, but may not fully understand what it means.

                                Understand Mindfulness

                                The concept of mindfulness is actually quite simple. To be mindful is to live in the moment.

                                When you are mindful, your attention is focused on what is happening in the present moment, and you are fully in touch with reality[5].

                                You are aware of what is happening in your body, mind, emotions, and the world around you. This is different than thinking about these things. To develop greater understanding, you don’t have to think about them so much, but rather just observe them.

                                This may be counterintuitive to many people, especially intellectuals, because they’re so used to using logic to develop greater understanding. With mindfulness, we calm our mind and emotions so we can see clearer. Then, much of our understanding will come from simple observation. When we develop mindfulness, we literally expand our awareness.

                                To develop mindfulness, we need to train ourselves to observe things more objectively, that is, without our emotions or preconceived ideas influencing our views.

                                If you’re ready to live a better life, read on for some simple mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine to help you live in the moment.

                                Advertising

                                You don’t have to do all of them, but rather choose the ones that appeal to you and suit your lifestyle.

                                Mindfulness Meditation

                                Mindfulness meditation is the mainstay of developing mindfulness and living in the moment. To practice mindfulness meditation, all you really have to do is sit quietly and follow your breathing. When your mind wanders off, just bring it back to your breath.

                                Notice how your lungs expand with each in-breath and contract with each out-breath. Let your breathing become relaxed and natural.

                                You don’t have to do it perfectly. The idea is to start spending time away from the constant sensory stimulation of all your activities, and just allow it to settle down naturally. Start with about 5 to 10 minutes per day and work your way up to about 20 minutes or longer.

                                This practice is highly effective, and can have both short-term and long-term benefits.

                                If you want to learn more about mindfulness meditation, take a look at this article: What Is Mindfulness Meditation? 7 Ways to Start Meditating

                                Mindful Breathing

                                While this may sound the same as mindfulness meditation, all you’re really doing is taking short breaks occasionally (10 to 15 seconds) to observe your breathing. Stop whatever you’re doing, and take a few mindful breaths, then resume your activity. That’s it.

                                You can do mindful breathing at any time of the day during your busy schedule. What it does is interrupt the acceleration of your mind. It is like taking your foot off the accelerator while driving. It’s a nice refreshing break you can take without anyone noticing.

                                Here’re some breathing exercises you can try to learn: 5 Breathing Exercises for Anxiety (Simple and Calm Anxiety Quickly)

                                Mindful Walking

                                Walking is an activity that you perform several times throughout the day. We often think we’re being productive by texting or calling someone while walking. But are we really?

                                Instead of getting on your cell phone or letting your mind wander off, why not use your walking to train yourself to live in the moment and focus on the task at hand?

                                Mindful walking is similar to mindful breathing, but instead of focusing on your breath, focus on your walking. Pay attention to each footstep. Also, notice the different motions of your arms, legs, and torso. When your mind wanders off, just bring your attention back to your walking.

                                You can even make a meditation out of walking. That is, go walking for a few minutes outside. Start by slowing down your pace. If you slow down your body, your mind will follow.

                                In addition to paying attention to your walking, notice the trees, sunshine, and critters. A mindful walk is enjoyable and can really help your mind settle down.

                                You can discover more benefits of walking in nature here.

                                Advertising

                                Mindful Eating

                                Eating is an activity that most of us perform mindlessly. The reason is that it doesn’t require your attention to perform. Therefore, many of us try to multitask while we eat. We may talk on the phone, text, watch TV, or even hold a meeting.

                                The problem with not eating mindfully is that we don’t eat what our body and mind need to perform at an optimal level[6]. We may eat unhealthy foods, or too much. This can lead to various health problems, especially as we get older.

                                Live in the present with mindful eating.

                                  Mindful eating has many health benefits, such as reduced food cravings, better digestion, and even weight loss[7].

                                  So how do you eat mindfully? Start by slowing down, and avoid the temptation to distract yourself with another activity. Here are 3 different aspects of eating where you can practice mindfulness:

                                  • Eating itself: Focus your attention on choosing a portion of food to insert into your mouth. Notice the smell, flavor, and texture as you chew it; then finally swallow it. As with following your breath during meditation, pay close attention to every aspect of eating.
                                  • Choice of foods: Although you’ve already chosen your food before you have begun eating, you can still take the opportunity to contemplate your choices. Think about the nutrients your body needs to sustain itself.
                                  • Contemplating the sources: Most of us don’t think about all the work it takes to provide us with the food we eat. While you’re eating, consider all the work by the farmer, shipping company, and the grocery store. These are real people who worked hard to provide you with the food necessary for your survival.

                                  You can find more tips about mindful eating here: 7 Simple Steps to Mindful Eating

                                  Mindful Activities

                                  Choose an activity that you perform regularly, such as washing dishes. Focus all your attention on this activity, and resist the temptation to let your mind wander,. When it does, just bring your attention back to washing dishes.

                                  Notice some of the specific movements or sensations of washing dishes, such as how the soapy water feels on your hands, the circular motion of scrubbing the dish, or the rinsing. You’d be surprised at how such a mundane activity can truly expand your awareness.

                                  You can choose any activity you like, such as ironing, folding clothes, mowing the lawn, or showering. Over time, you will begin doing all these activities with greater mindfulness.

                                  Final Thoughts

                                  Practicing mindfulness is like regularly putting small amounts of change in a jar. They will all add up over time, and this will add up to greater peace and happiness, as well as get you closer to achieving your goals.

                                  Remember, you don’t have to do the mindfulness practices perfectly to get the benefits. All you have to do is keep bringing your mind back to the present moment when it wanders off.

                                  Practicing mindfulness may be a bit challenging in the beginning, but I can assure you it will get easier.

                                  The benefits of living in the moment are well within your reach, no matter how much your mind is racing. If you stick with these mindfulness practices, you too will learn how to live in the moment and stop worrying. When you do, a whole new world will open up for you. This is what Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh calls the ultimate reality.

                                  More About Living in the Present

                                  Featured photo credit: Smile Su via unsplash.com

                                  Reference

                                  Read Next