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15 Signs To Show You Have Found Your BFF

15 Signs To Show You Have Found Your BFF

With age, your BFF becomes your most trusted and treasured friend. You not only appreciate each others similarities, but also each others differences. You know way too much about each other but love each other even more, and time has done nothing to put a dampener on your friendship; you’re both just as crazy, as silly and have just as much fun as ever. You don’t know what your life would be without them. From lost loves to lost jobs, you’re there for each other, and nothing or no one will taint that wonderful bond!

So here’s to BFF’s, and here’s to what makes you guys so great!

1.  You don’t have to be perfect

You're Perfect

    The best friend who takes you as you are, no questions asked, is the greatest! You don’t have to have everything together, or even know where you’re going to nab that first class buddy. They respect your journey, whatever that may be, and will happily travel alongside you. Travel companion for life!

    2.  You don’t have to walk on eggshells

    Overreaction

      Respecting your friend and being considerate of their feelings shows great love and care, but if you’re always having to tread carefully, afraid of their [over]reaction, or mind what you say lest you anger the beast, then you won’t be able to build anything real. Not only is this boring, but means you can’t be honest with each other and that’s a sure fire way to lead to a superficial friendship.

      3.   You don’t have to be identical

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      Differences and Similarities

        You don’t have to always agree or you may not always see eye to eye, but that’s actually a great thing. You love each other’s differences just as much as your similarities! Plus it’s the differences that keep things fun and interesting.

        4.  You have each others back

        Got your back

          When someone has wronged your bestie in any way, you’re right there, prepared to kick-ass! You know how great your best friend is so are prepared to take down anyone who fails to treat them with the love and respect they deserve. Not to worry, they’re sure to see the light soon! And when all has been, ahem… taken care of, you’re right there to comfort your friend and remind them how wonderful they are!

          5.  You lift each other up

          You Lift Me Up

            The beauty of a true friendship is that no matter what is going on in each others life, no one feels superior to, or better than, the other. Instead you go out of your way to lift each other up. Thinking you’re better or superior to your friend is a sure way to kill any friendship. Regardless of what is going on in their life, they are still the awesome person you met all those many moons ago.

            6.  You can laugh about things

            Laughing

              One of the best ingredients for a long-lasting friendship is laughter. Not only will it help to keep both of you young, but it works to unite you over things that would’ve otherwise broken you. Being able to laugh off things shows you don’t take yourselves too seriously, you’re relaxed and comfortable in each others company, and are able to enjoy and deal with the downright craziness in this topsy-turvy world; all while sporting Cheshire cat grins!

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              7.  You become stronger during adversity

              Here for you

                When the load gets too heavy for you to carry, your BFF is right there! Through the good, bad and downright unfair, they are there for you! There’s no greater test of friendship than when someone is faced with unfortunate circumstances, or events that are complete back breakers. However, coming out of anything tough, with your best friend at your side, you guys will be unbreakable!

                8. Your family loves them

                Family

                  They are practically part of the family! Your siblings treat them like one of their own, and you’re almost certain that your parents like them better than you! But that’s okay with you. You wouldn’t change that bond for the world. Especially since your family pretty much hates everyone else!

                  9. You get each others weirdness

                  Weirdness

                    You both do weird-weird so well, it’s the norm for you. Others don’t seem to get you, and people are just freaked out by how weird you both are, that you often have to suppress the weirdness. But when you two get together, it’s all good! There, in your safe and weird environment you two get it all out. And you know what, being weird has never felt so awesome!

                    10. You know when something’s up

                    Something's Up

                      You’re best friend has gotten quite good at telling when you’re all out of sorts. It’s almost scary! They’ve sussed it out, and all the lying and covering up in the world does nothing to hide the reality that you aren’t yourself. So quit faking!

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                      11. You are genuinely happy for each other

                      Happy

                        You are each others biggest fan, and the ultimate cheerleaders when something amazing happens for either of you. You’re right there celebrating when they succeed, and they’re proudly telling others of your achievements and successes. Simply put, you’ve got being happy for one another down to a fine art.

                        12. They push you to be more, and to be better

                        Believe

                          They’re like a personal trainer: they want the best from you and believe you can do it! They’ll urge you on, push and pull you to be the best version of you they know you can be. Their belief in you is infectious. How can you not believe in yourself the way they do?

                          13. You are comfortable with silence

                          Comfortable Silence

                            You can be with each other in total silence and be having the time of your lives. To everyone else, you may look as though you’ve had some kind of falling out, but you both know it’s just because you’re so comfortable around each other, you have no need to fill otherwise uncomfortable silences with noise. Plus, this a great episode so…

                            14. Your lips are sealed

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                            Sealed

                              You know you can trust your BFF with anything, and it will go no further. They are a volt when it comes to those things you’ve shared with them, and you, too, are a safe haven for their… unmentionables. No amount of prying, prodding or trickery will get you to reveal the things you two talk about in confidence, so everyone might as well just stop asking.

                              15. You make time for each other

                              Getting Together

                                Work, studies and family commitments are just some of the things that take away from time spent with your BFF, but you try and make it a point to schedule some time to see each other as much as possible. Sure, you may talk daily, even for a few minutes, just so you can catch up, but when you do get together, it’s simply the best! You talk and laugh for hours, getting silly and reminiscing about the good times, whilst having the time of your lives.

                                And when you part, you’re reminded why they are, your BFF!

                                Featured photo credit: Grace and Frankie/Melissa Moseley for Netflix via blogs.indiewire.com

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                                Patricia C. Osei-Oppong

                                Writer, Poet, Marketer

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                                Last Updated on May 21, 2019

                                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

                                For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

                                If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

                                Example 1

                                You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

                                You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

                                In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

                                Example 2

                                You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

                                People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

                                You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

                                Example 3

                                You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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                                The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

                                Example 4

                                You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

                                Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

                                If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

                                Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

                                • Understand your own communication style
                                • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
                                • Communicate with precision and care
                                • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

                                1. Understand Your Communication Style

                                To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

                                In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

                                Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

                                2. Learn Others Communication Styles

                                Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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                                If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

                                “How do you prefer to receive information?”

                                This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

                                To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

                                3. Exercise Precision and Care

                                A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

                                On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

                                Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

                                I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

                                I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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                                In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

                                The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

                                Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

                                4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

                                Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

                                In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

                                “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

                                Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

                                Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

                                It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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                                It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

                                It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

                                Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

                                Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

                                The Bottom Line

                                When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

                                I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

                                More Articles About Effective Communication

                                Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

                                Reference

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