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14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry

14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry

Think about one of the questions below for a moment.

If you are married, in what way is the girl you dated different from the woman you married? If you are single or dating, in what way do you want the woman you marry to be different from the girl you are dating? What thoughts come to your mind? I bet you have a few thoughts, I also do.

After being married for over 3 years to my awesome wife, l can testify that the girl l dated is different from the woman l proudly call my wife. She has definitely improved in ways I never imagined, and for the better.

If you go through dating and your marriage journey, you will inevitable look back to realize the girl you dated is different from the woman are married to. To clarify, l do not mean she would become a brand new person. What l mean is that her priorities and perspective about life and marriage will improve in many ways. Hopefully, for the better.

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Either way, the woman you marry will not be the same as the girl you dated.

1. The girl you date does not want to meet your family or friends, she wants you all to herself.
The woman you marry wants to know your family and friends. She knows without them, you would not be where you are, and who you are today.

2. The girl you date is overly worried about her nails been done all the time, her eyelashes looking in a certain style, and being beautiful for her peers. Her physical beauty is important to her.
The woman you marry is not overly worried about her nails being done. Instead, she is worried about being beautiful for her man, even if that means wearing no makeup. She focuses on her internal beauty and character building, because she knows real beauty comes from within.

3. The girl you date only cares about her career and her vision for life. She comes before the relationship, and does not make her future plans with you in mind.
The woman you marry cares about your career and your vision of life as well as her own. She knows you also have a plan, and works together with you to achieve the goals you both have. The marriage is her priority.

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4. The girl you date loves the financial cushion you can provide.  She also expects something back whenever she gives.
The woman you marry wants to build a financial cushion with you. She believes that two heads will always be better than one. When she gives, she does not expect anything back.

5. The girl you date believes she knows everything.
The woman you marry is open to learning something new, and knows there is always room for improvement.

6. The girl you date is scared to tell you her deepest secrets.
The woman you marry will share her deepest secrets with you, even if it means losing you. She trusts you, and shares everything with you. She knows honesty is always the best policy.

7. The girl you date does not get excited about marriage and children (even if she wants to have some one day).
The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you.

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8. The girl you date shows her cleavage all the time.
The woman you marry is more modest because she knows her attributes are for your eyes only.

9. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you.
The woman you marry loves not only to cook, but chooses delicious and healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, right?

10. The girl you date is overly concerned about how long you will be around, and how she can keep you.
The woman you marry is not too concerned about keeping you because she knows you want to have a future with her. She is mature enough to know you can never force someone to stay and that you each have to choose each other every day, again and again.

11. The girl you date is not willing to compromise with you.
The woman you marry is willing to compromise, and sees compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage

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12. The girl you date thrives on constant attention from you.
The woman you marry mirrors your affection and thrives on providing you with the love, support, and respect you need.

13. The girl you date tries to change who you are and compares you to her ex.
The woman you marry accepts you for who you are and will not compare you to her ex. She knows you are the best and that you cannot change another person no matter how hard you try.

14. The girl you date has to be entertained.
The woman you marry is someone you can have fun with, relax, do activities, or do nothing together and still enjoy each other’s company.

What are your thoughts on these differences between the girl you date and the woman you marry?

Some of these differences can also apply to the boy you date and the man you marry.

Featured photo credit: Kgorz via pixabay.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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