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14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry

14 Differences Between the Girl you Date and the Woman you Marry

Think about one of the questions below for a moment.

If you are married, in what way is the girl you dated different from the woman you married? If you are single or dating, in what way do you want the woman you marry to be different from the girl you are dating? What thoughts come to your mind? I bet you have a few thoughts, I also do.

After being married for over 3 years to my awesome wife, l can testify that the girl l dated is different from the woman l proudly call my wife. She has definitely improved in ways I never imagined, and for the better.

If you go through dating and your marriage journey, you will inevitable look back to realize the girl you dated is different from the woman are married to. To clarify, l do not mean she would become a brand new person. What l mean is that her priorities and perspective about life and marriage will improve in many ways. Hopefully, for the better.

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Either way, the woman you marry will not be the same as the girl you dated.

1. The girl you date does not want to meet your family or friends, she wants you all to herself.
The woman you marry wants to know your family and friends. She knows without them, you would not be where you are, and who you are today.

2. The girl you date is overly worried about her nails been done all the time, her eyelashes looking in a certain style, and being beautiful for her peers. Her physical beauty is important to her.
The woman you marry is not overly worried about her nails being done. Instead, she is worried about being beautiful for her man, even if that means wearing no makeup. She focuses on her internal beauty and character building, because she knows real beauty comes from within.

3. The girl you date only cares about her career and her vision for life. She comes before the relationship, and does not make her future plans with you in mind.
The woman you marry cares about your career and your vision of life as well as her own. She knows you also have a plan, and works together with you to achieve the goals you both have. The marriage is her priority.

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4. The girl you date loves the financial cushion you can provide.  She also expects something back whenever she gives.
The woman you marry wants to build a financial cushion with you. She believes that two heads will always be better than one. When she gives, she does not expect anything back.

5. The girl you date believes she knows everything.
The woman you marry is open to learning something new, and knows there is always room for improvement.

6. The girl you date is scared to tell you her deepest secrets.
The woman you marry will share her deepest secrets with you, even if it means losing you. She trusts you, and shares everything with you. She knows honesty is always the best policy.

7. The girl you date does not get excited about marriage and children (even if she wants to have some one day).
The woman you marry gets excited about marriage and starting a family with you.

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8. The girl you date shows her cleavage all the time.
The woman you marry is more modest because she knows her attributes are for your eyes only.

9. The girl you date is not concerned about cooking for you.
The woman you marry loves not only to cook, but chooses delicious and healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all, right?

10. The girl you date is overly concerned about how long you will be around, and how she can keep you.
The woman you marry is not too concerned about keeping you because she knows you want to have a future with her. She is mature enough to know you can never force someone to stay and that you each have to choose each other every day, again and again.

11. The girl you date is not willing to compromise with you.
The woman you marry is willing to compromise, and sees compromise as a necessity for a healthy marriage

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12. The girl you date thrives on constant attention from you.
The woman you marry mirrors your affection and thrives on providing you with the love, support, and respect you need.

13. The girl you date tries to change who you are and compares you to her ex.
The woman you marry accepts you for who you are and will not compare you to her ex. She knows you are the best and that you cannot change another person no matter how hard you try.

14. The girl you date has to be entertained.
The woman you marry is someone you can have fun with, relax, do activities, or do nothing together and still enjoy each other’s company.

What are your thoughts on these differences between the girl you date and the woman you marry?

Some of these differences can also apply to the boy you date and the man you marry.

Featured photo credit: Kgorz via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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