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15 Differences Between the Boy you Date and the Man you Marry

15 Differences Between the Boy you Date and the Man you Marry

When you’re dating a guy, it’s easy to think he’s perfect. You’re in a love haze, so be careful because there are definite differences between the boy you date and the man you marry. It’s true that people can change, so don’t ditch a guy just because he seems like a slacker at first. It’s okay to give him a chance to prove himself. However, if you don’t eventually see some of these characteristics, don’t be afraid to dump him and move on to someone new. If you’re young and having fun at this point in your life, it’s okay to date around and have flings, but before long you’re going to want to settle down, so make sure you do it with a quality man, not an immature boy.

  1. The boy you date asks you to “hang out,” which involves less commitment than a date. He wants to have fun with no strings attached.
    The man you marry asks you out on dates and is clear about his intentions with you. He wants to be with you and wants you to know where you’re headed.
  2. The boy you date talks with you about people you know from your past, or pokes fun at that guy at the bar, or only shares funny stories because he can’t connect on a deeper level.
    The man you marry can hold a conversation with you about books, movies, music, and other common interests. This makes for a more substantial relationship in the long run.
  3. The boy you date will say he never wants to get married or have kids, and nothing will change his mind. Don’t try–this is a red flag that he’s not Mr. Right!
    The man you marry might change his mind about wanting to marry and have kids after he’s met you.
  4. The boy you date hears your attitude, takes it personally, and starts firing it right back at you until it spirals into a major fight.
    The man you marry can handle your attitude and talk you down from a ledge. This is especially important when you have major life crises or a bad day at work.
  5. The boy you date calls you mean and immature names to make himself feel like a winner.
    The man you marry fights fairly. He doesn’t call you names or use physical force, no matter how angry he gets.
  6. The boy you date cares too much about looks, and will tease you for looking sloppy until you fix yourself back up to his standards.
    The man you marry understands that everyone has good and bad days as far as looks go, and won’t hurt your feelings or love you less if your weight fluctuates or you have a bad hair day or forget to shave for awhile.
  7. The boy you date will say “I’m sorry” because he just wants you to cheer up or stop nagging him. He says “I love you” because he doesn’t want to lose you, even though he doesn’t really feel the meaning of the words.
    The man you marry will say “I’m sorry” because he honestly is, and he never meant to hurt you with his words or actions. He says “I love you” because he truly means it, and wants you to feel that love every minute of your life.
  8. The boy you date will expect to have things done for him because that’s what his mom did, and that’s what other girls have done for him, and he doesn’t have to take care of himself.
    The man you marry will know how to take care of himself: how to cook, clean, do laundry, pay bills, and more–because he’s already a man. It’s important for people to have this figured out before they’re ready to marry, which is a great way to tell what type your guy is.
  9. The boy you date doesn’t want to meet your friends because he just wants to be alone with you all of the time.
    The man you marry wants to hear stories about your friends until he can meet them and get to know them himself.
  10. The boy you date well, you’re too embarrassed to take him to meet your parents, not that he’d ever bring it up himself.
    The man you marry wants to meet your parents, and impresses them when he does.
  11. The boy you date is always the one you fantasize about marrying, because he’s cute and all you do is have fun together (until the first big blow-up…).
    The man you marry is never a sure thing. You hem and haw over if he’s right, if you should settle down with him, if your relationship can make it long term.
  12. The boy you date doesn’t listen to you or fully engage in conversations. He nods while you talk, then changes the subject or just tells you what you want to hear.
    The man you marry cares about what you have to say. He wants to know your thoughts and opinions on anything from major issues to tiny moments from your day.
  13. The boy you date runs at the first sign of trouble because it’s too much drama for him, and he doesn’t want anything tying him down.
    The man you marry sticks with you through tough times because he’s committed to you and the relationship, and wants to see it through to the end.
  14. The boy you date doesn’t reach for the check, and huffs if you ask him to split the bill with you.
    The man you marry pays when he takes you out, even after you grab the check and insist five times that it’s your turn to pay.
  15. The boy you date never gives you security. You don’t know how he feels or what he’s up to when he’s not with you, and your friends might even have money riding on how long you’ll last.
    The man you marry will make you feel secure. You’ll always know he loves you, you’ll be able to trust him, and you’ll know that you two can make it through anything.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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