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13 Things You Can Do To Make An Introvert Feel Loved

13 Things You Can Do To Make An Introvert Feel Loved

Extroverts and introverts have different needs. Where extroverts are social creatures, introverts are most certainly not. Extroverts may love small talk, but introverts hate it. It is important to be mindful of these differences so we can treat people well and be sensitive to their needs and feelings. If you know an introvert, do these 13 things to make them feel loved and appreciated.

1. Let them unwind before you ask questions about their day.

If you’re dating an introvert and they don’t seem talkative, please be patient with them. Let your partner rest in silence for an hour or two before you ask about their day. They will be able to respond more thoughtfully after they recharge.

2. Consider their schedule before you make plans.

If your partner is an introvert, then she probably won’t want to go to the bar after a busy day. Don’t be offended if she turns down that invite. Instead, ask her if she would be interested in going out on the weekend – or whenever she happens to be off.

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3. Send them a meaningful email.

If you really want to get to know an introvert, send them an email. Introverts are bored by small talk, but love deep discussions. Most introverts are better writers than speakers. Thus, email trumps every other mode of communication for this personality type.

4. Ask for a table on the outskirts of a restaurant.

If you take an introvert to a packed restaurant, then they could feel uncomfortable due to all that stimulation. Avoid the center of a dining room. Ask the host or hostess if a window seat is available. Being away from the chaos will remove some pressure.

5. Slow down your speaking rate so they have time to process.

If you talk really fast, then you could accidentally overwhelm your introvert friends. Extroverts like to speak as thoughts occur to them. Introverts like to let a thought settle for a moment before they respond. Simply pausing for three seconds will give an introvert time to digest your sentences.

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6. Don’t call them “shy” or “antisocial.”

If you label introverts in this way, then you obviously don’t understand them. I’m an introvert who acts in community theater and there’s nothing shy about that! Most introverts love to meet people. It’s just that while extroverts enjoy small talk, introverts would rather discuss deeper issues in a more intimate setting.

7. Find out what they are passionate about.

If you think an introvert is boring, then you haven’t dug deep enough. Introverts can be profound when you get them talking about their passion or purpose. They might even care about something so intensely that they view everything else as a distraction. And yes, this could make them appear to be aloof at times too.

8. Get comfortable with moments of silence.

If you want to show an introvert you care, do it with silence. It is possible to enjoy the presence of another person without filling the air with meaningless words. Greet a friend with a smile and gentle hug. Get in the car, turn on the radio, and enjoy the music. It’s time to let go of your need for constant conversation.

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9. Be quiet during movies and television.

If you can’t resist commenting on every scene of a film, then you will drive introverts insane. Remember that they need silence to process information. Even if they seem quiet, their brain is busy formulating theories about where the story could be going. Save the commentary for after the movie. They will appreciate it.

10. Stop acting like something is “wrong.”

If you try to “fix” an introvert, then it will backfire. This especially occurs when extroverted parents assume something is wrong with their introverted children. They mistakenly label these kids “shy” without truly understanding them. Treating them like a project will only make them feel inferior. Accept them as they are.

11. Don’t leave them hanging at a social event.

If you abandon an introvert at a party, then they won’t be happy. You might be a social butterfly, but your introvert friend isn’t. It was scary enough for them to go to a crowded place where they don’t know anybody. If you leave them by themselves, they will feel highly intimidated, and maybe even go outside where it is less noisy.

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12. Do invite them to small group gatherings.

If you think introverts don’t like people, then you’re misunderstood. They might not feel comfortable at a big party, but they typically enjoy low-key gatherings that involve five or less people.This gives introverts opportunity to have deep conversations and make new connections without draining their energy as much as a big party would.

13. Explain how you perceive the world differently.

If you’re an extrovert, don’t think I forgot about you. It’s interesting how two people can experience the world so differently. Introverts love to listen, so why don’t you tell us all about it? We would both benefit if we learned from each other. Maybe it will be easier to work together in harmony when we have a better understanding of our differences.

Tell us what you would add to this list in the comments. I’m just one person, so it’s impossible to speak for all introverts. Will you help me out? Tell us what you would add to this list. If you’d like to invite your friends to the conversation, please share this article on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured photo credit: back view of lovely young couple hugging in winter via shutterstock.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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