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13 Things You Can Do To Make An Introvert Feel Loved

13 Things You Can Do To Make An Introvert Feel Loved

Extroverts and introverts have different needs. Where extroverts are social creatures, introverts are most certainly not. Extroverts may love small talk, but introverts hate it. It is important to be mindful of these differences so we can treat people well and be sensitive to their needs and feelings. If you know an introvert, do these 13 things to make them feel loved and appreciated.

1. Let them unwind before you ask questions about their day.

If you’re dating an introvert and they don’t seem talkative, please be patient with them. Let your partner rest in silence for an hour or two before you ask about their day. They will be able to respond more thoughtfully after they recharge.

2. Consider their schedule before you make plans.

If your partner is an introvert, then she probably won’t want to go to the bar after a busy day. Don’t be offended if she turns down that invite. Instead, ask her if she would be interested in going out on the weekend – or whenever she happens to be off.

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3. Send them a meaningful email.

If you really want to get to know an introvert, send them an email. Introverts are bored by small talk, but love deep discussions. Most introverts are better writers than speakers. Thus, email trumps every other mode of communication for this personality type.

4. Ask for a table on the outskirts of a restaurant.

If you take an introvert to a packed restaurant, then they could feel uncomfortable due to all that stimulation. Avoid the center of a dining room. Ask the host or hostess if a window seat is available. Being away from the chaos will remove some pressure.

5. Slow down your speaking rate so they have time to process.

If you talk really fast, then you could accidentally overwhelm your introvert friends. Extroverts like to speak as thoughts occur to them. Introverts like to let a thought settle for a moment before they respond. Simply pausing for three seconds will give an introvert time to digest your sentences.

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6. Don’t call them “shy” or “antisocial.”

If you label introverts in this way, then you obviously don’t understand them. I’m an introvert who acts in community theater and there’s nothing shy about that! Most introverts love to meet people. It’s just that while extroverts enjoy small talk, introverts would rather discuss deeper issues in a more intimate setting.

7. Find out what they are passionate about.

If you think an introvert is boring, then you haven’t dug deep enough. Introverts can be profound when you get them talking about their passion or purpose. They might even care about something so intensely that they view everything else as a distraction. And yes, this could make them appear to be aloof at times too.

8. Get comfortable with moments of silence.

If you want to show an introvert you care, do it with silence. It is possible to enjoy the presence of another person without filling the air with meaningless words. Greet a friend with a smile and gentle hug. Get in the car, turn on the radio, and enjoy the music. It’s time to let go of your need for constant conversation.

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9. Be quiet during movies and television.

If you can’t resist commenting on every scene of a film, then you will drive introverts insane. Remember that they need silence to process information. Even if they seem quiet, their brain is busy formulating theories about where the story could be going. Save the commentary for after the movie. They will appreciate it.

10. Stop acting like something is “wrong.”

If you try to “fix” an introvert, then it will backfire. This especially occurs when extroverted parents assume something is wrong with their introverted children. They mistakenly label these kids “shy” without truly understanding them. Treating them like a project will only make them feel inferior. Accept them as they are.

11. Don’t leave them hanging at a social event.

If you abandon an introvert at a party, then they won’t be happy. You might be a social butterfly, but your introvert friend isn’t. It was scary enough for them to go to a crowded place where they don’t know anybody. If you leave them by themselves, they will feel highly intimidated, and maybe even go outside where it is less noisy.

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12. Do invite them to small group gatherings.

If you think introverts don’t like people, then you’re misunderstood. They might not feel comfortable at a big party, but they typically enjoy low-key gatherings that involve five or less people.This gives introverts opportunity to have deep conversations and make new connections without draining their energy as much as a big party would.

13. Explain how you perceive the world differently.

If you’re an extrovert, don’t think I forgot about you. It’s interesting how two people can experience the world so differently. Introverts love to listen, so why don’t you tell us all about it? We would both benefit if we learned from each other. Maybe it will be easier to work together in harmony when we have a better understanding of our differences.

Tell us what you would add to this list in the comments. I’m just one person, so it’s impossible to speak for all introverts. Will you help me out? Tell us what you would add to this list. If you’d like to invite your friends to the conversation, please share this article on Facebook and Twitter.

Featured photo credit: back view of lovely young couple hugging in winter via shutterstock.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on August 10, 2020

10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career?

If you’re ready to do what you want in life, then the 10 principles of success are what you need to follow.

You were born with a gift that no one else in the world can express like you. When you dance to your own music, you naturally develop your innate abilities and excel in work and life. You are a total rock star. But when you live someone else’s idea of who you should be, it throws off your groove.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their dreams way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you live a rich and rewarding life on your terms that have worked with thousands of people in my workshops and will work for you, too.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand.[1]

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work.[2]

So, give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life.

Who knows? Your creative outlet could transform into a thriving business or lead to a new profession down the road.

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2. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Here are a few options to help you discover your unique strengths. You can:

  • Take the VIA Character Strengths Survey[3]
  • Try Gallup’s CliftonStrengths Assessment[4]
  • Answer a few Superpower Questions

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

Just take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it.

Is it what you really want? If so, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP – the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut.

To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. So, his stern opinions don’t really matter much, do they? Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

This success principle will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

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5. Embrace Your Inner Self

Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid folks will find out how odd or strange we are. But our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths. Yes, it’s good to be quirky.

Odds are, you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

  • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
  • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
  • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward. Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

Here’s How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment.

6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you. But you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

Pretend I’m your fairy godmother and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

Get quiet. Be honest. Think big.

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What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

Sounds silly? It’s not. It works! Permitting yourself to daydream about a rich and fulfilling life is the first step to manifesting it.

8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time.[5]

Wait, it gets better! A Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output increases by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere.[6]

What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

This is one of the most powerful success principles for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

“You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

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You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, you can succeed again.

You already rock. You just need to own it. Trust me, you’ve got this!

Final Thoughts

Eleanor Roosevelt said,

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Following these success principles will help you find the time and energy to do the things that really matter and live with clear intention.

By spending just one hour a week doing something you love, focusing on your strengths and achievements, embracing what makes you different, and acting on inspired ideas, you can create a life that is a perfect fit for you, step-by-step.

If you don’t have a clue about what your dream life could look like yet, don’t worry. Your heart knows. It has been “talking” to you for a long time. It’s just being muffled by KCRP, buried under a lot of “shoulds” and fear.

This article can also help you figure out the life you truly want to live: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up.

Stand still, get quiet, and listen. It’s constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rockstar potential. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

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Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

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