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12 Clever Ways to Minimize Stress

12 Clever Ways to Minimize Stress

We live in a stressful world and being able to manage stress effectively can have a huge impact upon our quality of life. Stress affects each of us in different ways, and it is important to be aware of your unique stress “signals”. Stress signals fall into four categories: thoughts (intolerant, self critical), feelings (anxiety,irritability) behaviors (tearful,addictive behavior), and physical symptoms (fatigue, sleep disturbances,tension in body). Here are clever tricks to minimize stress levels and reduce its negative effects.

1. Acceptance

Instead of resisting what life throws at you and feeling sorry for yourself with statements like “Why me?” and “It’s so unfair”, it pays to accept what has happened. This doesn’t mean you have to become passive and give up though. When you accept the situation and stop wasting energy on “why” you can begin to deal with finding solutions. Acceptance can minimize stress and frees up positive energy for finding resolution and looking forwards instead of staying stuck in the past that cannot be undone.

2. Mindfulness

When we consider all our troubles together, they can seem insurmountable. Break your issues down into smaller chunks and deal with one at a time. Focus on the task at hand and be present in the moment. How often have you caught yourself worrying about the past (it can’t be changed) or obsessing over the future (it’s not here yet)? When you do this, you steal the joy and power away from the present moment. Stay in the moment as much as possible. Engage your senses and be involved with your immediate surroundings.

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3. Unhook from your thoughts

Together with mindfulness, unhooking from your thoughts can help minimize stress immensely. When we pay attention to a fearful thought it can rapidly ‘spiral’ into a catastrophe in our mind. Thoughts are not facts, they are merely our perception of reality. How many times have you become anxious thinking about an upcoming event only to find it wasn’t half as scary as you imagined? Remind yourself of this regularly and try not to take your thoughts too seriously.

4. Laugh lots

A sense of humor can carry you a long way when the going gets tough.Try not to take life too seriously. Make an effort to see the funny side of life and add perspective to the situation by asking yourself if you will still feel this stressed tomorrow, next week…next month. Laughing releases endorphins. Two hormones – beta-endorphins (the family of chemicals that alleviates depression) and human growth hormone (HGH; which helps with immunity) increase when we laugh. Minimise stress by laughing more.

5. Get enough sleep

When your body is sleep deficient, it goes into a state of stress. The body’s functions are put on high alert which causes an increase in blood pressure and a production of stress hormones. When you don’t get enough sleep, you hinder your body’s natural restorative process. In a study in Prevention Magazine, young, healthy sleep-deprived subjects had the hormonal profiles of much older people. It’s clear – spend more time in bed.

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6. Bounce on a trampoline

Trampolining can help combat depression, anxiety and minimize stress by increasing the amount of endorphins released by the brain. Regular  sessions on a trampoline can help you relax, promote better sleeping patterns and give your more energy. Exercising on a trampoline increases the circulation of oxygen around your body, making you more alert and improving mental performance. If you don’t have access to a trampoline, any form of exercise will help to minimize stress.

7. Play with a pet

Animals are great stress relievers. Studies show that animals can minimize stress and improve mood.Research has found that owning a dog can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, and boost levels of feel-good chemicals in the brain. One study of Chinese women found that dog owners exercised more often, slept better, reported better fitness levels and fewer sick days, and saw their doctors less often than people without dogs.

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8.Talk to someone

Bottling up your stress and the associated emotions can make the problem worse. Talking to someone you trust about what you are experiencing can make a big difference. Often, we get caught up in erroneous patterns of thinking that keep us in the same negative cycle thereby maintaining stress levels. Talking to someone and gaining a new perspective can often help minimize stress.

9. Remind yourself you’re not alone

Stress is increasing worldwide. You are certainly not alone in experiencing stress. Be a forward thinker though and you’ll be one step ahead of the crowd. Know your stress triggers and find positive strategies to curb stress levels. A common side effect of modern life is stress, anxiety and tension. Instead of trying to ignore it, accepting and being aware of your stress levels (rate yourself daily of it helps from 0 (no stress) -10 (extremely stressed) can help you prevent burn out. If you reach a 6 or higher, it is time for a break or a different strategy.As a Psychologist in private practice, I can honestly say I have never met anyone professionally (or personally) that doesn’t experience stress on some level.

10. Make something

Occupational therapy can be soothing and take your mind off your worries. It can also be satisfying to create something. Making something provides a welcome distraction from your worries and the accompanying stress.

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11. Identify the source

Identifying what exactly is stressing you out is a step in the right direction. Once you have figured out what causes the most stress in your life, decide what is within your control and get to work changing what is possible to change. If there is absolutely nothing you can do refer to any of the above points.

12. Learn to say “no”

Being assertive can minimize stress by cutting down on responsibilities and pressures from others. It is up to you to manage your time effectively and to be assertive when necessary. If you don’t learn to say “no”, you will be stressing yourself out unnecessarily and will end up resentful.

 

When we feel stressed, our bodies experience the fight/flight/freeze response. Modern society results in many of us remaining in this stressful state indefinitely. This causes certain chemical responses and keeps us on ‘high alert’ constantly. This exhausts the body and stops us from functioning optimally. Learn to manage stress and you will also age well and in all likelihood – live longer.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoetnet/4851436544/ via flickr.com

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Mandy Kloppers

Mandy is a Psychologist/CBT therapist who believes getting through life is easier with a robust sense of humour.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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