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11 Things You Don’t Need To Worry About

11 Things You Don’t Need To Worry About

Worrying is the worst. Here are 11 things not to worry about, so you can spend your time doing better things.

1. What People Think Of You

The other morning I woke up and thought about whether my best friend’s girlfriend likes me after what I said the night before about Irish goodbyes. I’m for them and she’s totally against them. I wondered if what I’d said made her think less of me. But then I realized that I was wasting my time. I like her, and that’s all that matters—if she doesn’t like me, that’s her problem. Because my best friend isn’t going to stop liking me, even if his girlfriend does.

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2. Dying

All forms of life die. There’s no way around it. The best thing to do is figure out how to live exactly the way you want. Try to imagine that today is your last day alive. What would you do differently?

3. The future and the past

This one is hard for me. There’s so much unknown out there, and anything can happen, right? Well, here’s another way of thinking about it: everything that happens happens exactly the way it was supposed to happen. So whatever happened in the past was meant to happen that way, and same goes for whatever happens in the future.

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4. Other people’s drama

I have a friend who’s always breaking up with her boyfriend. I used to be there for her, but after the third of fourth time, I realized that she was only bringing me down with her whenever she worried about what to do next. Now, if she and her boo are “breaking up,” I wish her luck and get back to work.

5. Keeping up with trends

Between planned obsolescence, high fashion, and the Internet, I’m pretty much never totally up on the trends. That’s cool with me—by buying quality, fine things, and cultivating my taste based on classic styles from the past, I feel good knowing that what always looks good is better than the flavor of the week.

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6. Your to-do list

Attack it one at a time, try not to procrastinate, and see that list shrink. Whenever you start to worry about it, act on it and see your worry disappear.

7. Your mistakes

Worse things have happened. And after they do you can only learn from them. I believe it was Samuel Beckett who said: “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” And look at him—he won the Nobel Prize.

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8. Your appearance

You can’t change your appearance unless you have a lot of money, and then you still may not look better. Everyone always wants to be sexier and more beautiful. But we can’t all be runway models. Instead, get used to feeling comfortable with who you are. Admitting your deficiencies or the truth to yourself will help. And if saying them aloud doesn’t work, you can always try writing it down on paper.

9. Work

You should be working in a job that doesn’t make you miserable. Sure, there may be people who annoy you, but unless you actively hate yourself for working there, you shouldn’t worry. Try to deal with those people one-on-one by telling them what you want to see resolved. Then work hard, and if you really hate it so much, don’t worry about it; just quit and find something new. You’d be surprised how necessity and desperation can work in your favor to help you get a new job fast.

10. Money

Yes you need it. But while it’s nice to have, most of us can make do with less. Live your life so that you can reflect on the great times you had, and don’t worry about spending that extra few dollars on the meal you really want when you go out to dinner—just enjoy it. That said, you can’t party all the time, so make sure you have some money stashed away for a rainy day.

11. Your Decisions

You try to make the right decisions and most of the time you do. But sometimes the worry creeps into your head that maybe you’re making the wrong ones. Don’t despair. See number 7 and remember that you’re only young once.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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