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Every Woman Should Thank Herself For These Incredible Things

Every Woman Should Thank Herself For These Incredible Things

Men adore us. Guys want us. Children look up to us and the world takes a bow. We all know that as women, we have been told how special we are time and again: a guy’s dream before marriage and a husband’s pride after; a father’s reason for smile ; a mother’s comfort in sadness; a friend’s matchmaker; a bestie’s medicine for hangover; and a child’s solace for distress. But then there are times that we ourselves don’t know what we are capable of and the daily stuff that we do makes us exceptional.

It’s time to give yourself some credit that you deserve instead of demanding it from others. So sit back and relax: you are accused and guilty. It’s conviction time!

1. Their beauty.

You are the fairer sex. Trust me it is not easy to look so lovely each day when you wake up in the morning or by the end of the night. But whatever you do, you do it best! Give yourself the benefit of doubt and love the efforts you put forth when it comes to monthly facials, pedicures, waxes and haircuts. Love the nail art sessions, and all the fitness exercises you do. Remember: if guys love you for the way you look, why shouldn’t you yourself do the same?

2. Their forgiveness.

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    You are the epitome of love and forgiveness. You might get mad, but it hardly takes you a moment to return back to your usual self. Trust me: it is not so easy to be so patient and forgive your friends, brother, husband and children for the times they hurt you or say something harsh. You are quick in putting things on the back burner and forgiving. Well, that’s an impressive trait, I say!.

    3. Their everyday, tiring efforts.

    Woman_Running_Errands_620x413

      Going to work, attending classes, giving a presentation, doing the laundry or the dishes, dropping the kids off for school, preparing a sumptuous dinner, vacuuming or tending to the plants—it’s amazing how much a woman can achieve in a single day and can still manage to look lovely. Sometimes, we take the women in our lives for granted or forget to tell them how lucky we are for the thankless efforts they do daily. If no one else appreciates you, do it yourself. Take a day off, sit in the park and revel in your glory.

      4. The warmth they bring into the household.

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      4 generations of women

        From a girl’s sweet laughter, to her sister’s scurrying around playfully to catch her, to her mother’s soothing morning prayer; from warm hot food cooked by her to a wife washing her lover’s hair; from the early morning cardamon tea she makes for her father-in-law to the shawl she gets for her grandmother, it’s amazing that you yourself don’t realize at times how much the people around you change in your presence.

        5. Their undying love and sacrifices for their family.

        From spending all her salary to get her mother the best clothes, to getting her little brother the latest gadget; from spoiling her son with all the sweet meats and rich food, to remembering her husband’s doctor’s appointment—a women’s love for her siblings, parents, in-laws, friends and cousins is always heart warming. She gets up early morning to cook a surprise breakfast for you and sleeps after you have already drifted off. She never ceases to make herself available when you need her.

        6. Their multi-tasking attitude.

        She can chop onions and cry for a friend’s break up over the phone. She can put make up on and reply to your texts. She can bake a cake right and get you your evening cup of coffee. She can work on an assignment and watch a movie simultaneously. One can only wonder how she gets so much done with such perfection. Girl, you are truly a wonder woman!

        7. Their ability to push their chins up and carry on.

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          Had a fight with her boyfriend and it doesn’t show in the office meeting she led. Didn’t sleep a wink last night from the baby’s wails, but she looks radiant in the dress that she wore to the girl’s get-together. Yes, she might have gone through a hard divorce, but look at the way she lets her hair down at the party. The way her tears hide behind those big, black, lush eyelashes of hers, and how she still manages a smile. The way she always resurfaces back to normal even after a tragedy in her life is remarkable.

          8. Their willingness to follow their dreams, whether it be writing, research, music, dance, government, or fitness.

          Battling the dull humdrum of life, they swiftly move from one thing to another, not forgetting their own dreams in the     meantime. Some love to read endlessly, some write, others sing or dance, or spend hours researching a cure; and for       some, just being in the nature is enough. Acknowledge the wonderful quality that you have within you and take due credit for the juggling act of yours.

          9. Their ability to transform into super chefs.

          You were once a cooking novice who used to throw the onions from quite a distance just to avoid the oil sprinkling on your face or became frustrated when you burned the bread, or when the salad got way too messy. Now, you smile those days off; look at where you have come now. You have the hands of Midas or something as whatever you cook now is edible and healthy if not always very tasty. ;)

          10. The ability to lead a life of their own!
          Girl with suitcase.

            Your willingness to leave behind your family, friends, sometimes career, or even your home country is worth applauding. Many women take on huge financial, personal, and emotional responsibilities when they are with someone, even though they knew nothing of it before. The party animal girl is transformed into someone who turns off the lights at 10:30 p.m. as she now needs to wake up early to get to work or take the kids to school.

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            11. The ability to preserve their identities!

            I am me.

              Finally, you have the ability to have a separate identity. You recognize that you are a daughter, mother, wife, sister, boss, and lover, and you do not forget all that constitutes what it means to be a woman. At the same time, you have a separate identity, lifestyle, personal habits, and memories from growing up and things that you are dealing with in the present.

              We all know, as women or having women in our lives, that they are powerhouses of stamina and torchbearer in our lives. But the endurance, gratification, and the extent of our efforts are limitless and mind-boggling. The world is saying so and so should you: “Give yourself some credit, woman! Make those baths extra long. Feel the wind in your hair. Smell your coffee in the mornings and walk an extra mile. This is what makes you special. This makes you adored. Take the phone off the hook and leave your worries at the door.”

              Featured photo credit: Woman on Beach via puregreenwellness.com

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              Published on May 4, 2021

              How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

              How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

              They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

              In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

              How to Spot Fake People?

              When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

              Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

              1. Full of Themselves

              Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

              Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

              2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

              Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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              It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

              3. Zero Self-Reflection

              To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

              Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

              4. Unrealistic Perceptions

              Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

              A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

              5. Love Attention

              As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

              6. People Pleaser

              Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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              Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

              7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

              Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

              8. Crappy friend

              Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

              It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

              The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

              How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

              It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

              There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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              1. Boundaries

              Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

              2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

              Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

              3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

              If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

              4. Ask for Advice

              If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

              Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

              5. Dig Deeper

              Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

              Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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              6. Practice Self-Care!

              Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

              Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

              Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

              Final Thoughts

              Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

              We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

              More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

              Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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