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10 Things You Cared about Growing up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

10 Things You Cared about Growing up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

Ahh, young adulthood—full of changes, inquiries and experiences. We all turn out differently, but there are some common “coming of age” themes in most of our lives. Check out these ten things that most of us worried about at some time or another, and be thankful for the wisdom and reassurance that comes with experience!

1. You wanted to be doing what the “cool kids” were doing.

There was a group of “those kids” in everybody’s lives growing up. It doesn’t matter if, ten years ago, you were in middle school, high school, college or already starting your first grad job—there’s a clique everywhere you look. For some reason, they set the standard for what was cool and for an even stranger reason, we all listened.

2. You wondered if you’d ever meet ‘the one.”

Chances are, you’ve now met “the one,” or one of them, or you’re just happily living your life and not letting it be ruled by your relationship status. Either way, hopefully you’ve learned to love yourself and know that your self worth isn’t determined by a big, white, Cinderella wedding.

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3. You needed to know if you were “normal.”

You are. What’s “normal,” anyway? Whenever anybody says to me, “I’d give anything to go back to my teenage years” I think, “really?” I, for one, am thrilled to have moved past the raging hormones and constant self doubt that growing up brings.

4. You were worried about saying / doing / wearing the “right” thing.

See above: “what’s normal, anyway?” The right thing and not following it could be ammunition against you in your younger years. Now you’re free to nerd out to whatever you’re passionate about and not give a flying saucer over who cares.

5. You longed to get your parents off your back.

…and move out, be free to “LIVE MY OWN LIFE FOR ONCE MUM, GOD!” Now you’d trade in your mortgage stress and kids’ school fees for five minutes of adolescent freedom. It’s all worth it though, right?

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6. You weren’t sure if you were on track with other people of your age/ gender/ peer group.

You were, but that didn’t stop you from obsessing over the things that felt so secret and weird that you’d die if anybody else found out. Somewhere on the path to adulthood, the track meandered off in several different directions, and we all stopped worrying about extreme conformity.

7. You cared what your Myspace profile said about you.

Now, it’s all about Facebook / Twitter / Your Wellness Blog / what that picture of your dinner says about you! I kid, but hopefully for most of us, there’s less pressure to manage our online presence in a “how cool am I!” kind of way. I do feel for today’s teens, growing up in a world completely saturated with online social sharing.

8. You listened to what your “frenemies” said about you.

We’ve all been there with the toxic relationships and BFFs that actually weren’t. As you got older, you realized the benefit of healthy relationships and (hopefully) ditched those out to sabotage you.

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9. You didn’t know what you were going to do with your life.

Ten years ago, the idea that your interests, skills and talents might change was a foreign one. You needed to know how your life was going to play out and what you were going to “be” when you grew up. Now, you’re too busy living, changing and adapting. One of the best things about maturing is realizing that life is what you make it. Fancy a career change? Go for it—the world is your oyster!

10. You wanted to know “what it all meant.”

Young adulthood is full of new experiences and one of the things that makes us human is trying to make sense of those experiences. You may have been worried that everything had to have a significant meaning or be an indicator of your future. Now, you’re more happy to go with the flow and recognize that, sometimes, a new idea is just that—it doesn’t have to reshape the fiber of your very being!

Here’s to growing up, fond memories and living with hindsight. What changes do you think will take place for you in the next ten years? What do you worry about now that you secretly suspect will just be another phase?

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Featured photo credit: Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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