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10 Things You Can Do If You Feel Lack Of Support

10 Things You Can Do If You Feel Lack Of Support

At some point, everyone feels like they aren’t getting enough support. Whether it’s support from their friends, from their family, or from someone whose opinion really, really counts (Generally they don’t. More on this momentarily.), lack of support can be a devastating feeling. The urge to scream, “You don’t understand what I’m doing/feeling/going through!” can be absolutely overwhelming. Luckily for us, there are ways to counter this tendency. These 10 things you can do if you feel lack of support will not only help you achieve more and feel better, but can also help you communicate your needs and goals better.

1) Expand your support network.

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    Sometimes we make the mistake of trying to seek help from people who don’t know the first thing about what we’re trying to do. This leads to a situation where neither side feels good about the outcome. Going to the same friends to address the same basic problems can be just as bad. In these situations, a change of perspective might be needed. If you’re a writer, you should seek out other writers who don’t have a vested interest in you to discuss your problem with. The same goes if you’re a carpenter, a lawyer, or a computer programmer. This can put you on the right track and help you gain some new friends at the same time!

    2) Sharpen your own coping skills.

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    This is NOT what coping looks like.

      This is the OPPOSITE of what coping looks like.

      Think for a second about how you deal with disappointment. Do you take it on the chin, or does it send you running into your bedroom with a “migraine” that lasts three days? If it’s the latter, you probably need to develop some better coping skills. Maybe you need to be a little more physical, by punching a soft pile of pillows, for example. (It is definitely not recommended that you take your frustrations out physically on the object of your frustrations. This is a great way to land in jail.) You can also try meditation, deep breathing, or walking. Sometimes we just need a little distance to reflect on a situation before we can find the best way around it.

      3) Try keeping a journal.

      Lack of support often comes from lack of effective communication. Write down what’s frustrating you and why you feel like you aren’t getting the support you need. Then try writing down possible solutions, such as: “Talked to Mitch about my worries about the wedding. He doesn’t like my fiancee, so he was pretty unsympathetic. Maybe talk to Trish or Richard instead.” If nothing else, the act of writing it down will eliminate some of the immediacy of the problem, letting you look at it more calmly.

      4) Analyze the reason you don’t feel supported.

      Most people have pretty rigid conceptual models of what can and cannot be done, and they tend to look at anything that crosses these boundaries askance. Are you trying to do something so far out of the ordinary that most people cannot comprehend it? Or are you simply asking for too much from the people around you? You can’t expect everyone else to take care of your business while you chase a dream. If you’re trying to do this, then you need to start giving back before you can expect any support in return.

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      5) Keep it simple.

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        Lack of support often equals lack of communication. The other person just doesn’t “get it.” If you’re describing your great new invention in terms that would make Tesla blink and ask for clarification, the reason they don’t get it is likely that you’re overcomplicating the matter. “This device will make bread hot and crispy at extremely high temperatures extremely rapidly” is a poor way to say what you really mean. “This will toast bread in 2.5 seconds.”

        6) Listen to what you’re told.

        It’s entirely possible that you already have the information you need to make a decision, but you aren’t listening because it’s contrary to what you want to accomplish. If enough people tell you the same thing, it’s time to stop and mull it over. Chances are, they are speaking from experience that they are trying to help you benefit from.

        7) Ask yourself if your goal is really attainable.

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        quote-Bruce-Lee-a-goal-is-not-always-meant-to-89079

          The hardest thing in life to hear is, “You’ll never ___________ because ___________.” However, if you are told this, stop and think. Are you trying to do something that goes beyond the norm but you can realistically expect to achieve, or are you trying to do something utterly preposterous, like become a neurosurgeon even though you have palsy in your hands? Sometimes we have to switch directions or settle for something less. In this case, it’s not that your friends and family don’t support you, but they are being more realistic about how far you can go than you are.

          8) Try to understand why they don’t support you.

          Sometimes people say one thing, only to have someone hear something entirely different. This is where establishing a dialogue comes in. Getting to understand where the other person is coming from is a key factor in learning what you can do to obtain their support. This requires some empathy and maybe even a little salesmanship, but it’s well worth it in the end, and will strengthen your relationship, too.

          9) Ask yourself what you would tell you if you were them.

          quote-Bruce-Lee-mistakes-are-always-forgivable-if-one-has-332

            One of the most difficult things to admit is that we all sometimes give good advice, but are rubbish about taking it. Put yourself in the other person’s position and ask yourself, “If I saw So-and-so doing this, would I support him/her or warn against it?” This may not be a fun way to understand others, but it can help you see the issue from the other side.

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            10) Change your approach, your goals, your behavior, or all three.

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              No one wants to hang around with a self-aggrandizing jerk. If you come off as arrogant, if your goal is set too high for even gods to achieve reasonably, or if you demand support and assistance instead of asking for it, it is past time to make some changes. People appreciate being asked for help, but no one likes to have their help simply assumed. Understanding how, when, and who to approach for help is important to getting the support you need to achieve your goals!

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              Last Updated on August 20, 2018

              60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

              60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

              Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what we don’t have, rather than what we do have. It’s important to take time out and remember all of the things to be thankful for that many of us take for granted.

                Here you’ll find 60 very solid things to be thankful for in your everyday life. These are great reminders for you to treasure everything you have.

                1. Good Health

                Even if you’re health isn’t great, it could be worse and you likely still have some working parts to be thankful for.

                2. Money in the Bank

                Having just a few coins makes you richer than most people on Earth.

                3. Good Friends

                Often, it’s the quality of friendships, not the quantity.

                4. Freedom of Religion

                Being able to worship whomever and however you want is something many people don’t ever experience.

                5. Your Parents

                Even if they’re dysfunctional, they gave you life.

                6. Weekends

                There’s something magical about weekends.

                7.Having a Partner

                Being in a romantic relationship can teach you so much about the world and yourself.

                8. Pets

                Pets offer one of the best examples of unconditional love.

                9. Learning from Mistakes

                If we never made mistakes, we wouldn’t learn much so it is one of those things we should be thankful for.

                10. Opportunity to Get an Education

                The opportunity to attend school is something many people don’t have.

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                11. Having a Home

                Whether you live in an apartment, a mansion, or a tent, having a place to call home is something to be thankful for.

                12. An Ability to Read

                If you’re reading this right now, you have a lot to be thankful for.

                13. Breathing Fresh Air

                Being able to step outside to breathe in fresh air is a good reminder how many little things we should be thankful for.

                14. A Bed to Sleep

                A bed is one of those things that’s easy to take for granted, until you don’t have one.

                15. Laughter

                Without laughter, the world would be a sad place.

                16. Safety and Security

                Being able to wake up without immense fear frees us up to really live life.

                17. Cars

                Without cars, it would take a lot longer to get our activities done.

                18. Sunshine

                The sun’s warmth can brighten any day.

                19. Time

                Although we often don’t think there’s enough of it, time is something we shouldn’t take for granted.

                20. Clean Water

                Many people on earth lack access to clean water.

                21. Cell Phones

                Cell phones make talking to loved ones easy.

                22. Love

                The world sure would be a different place if we lacked the ability to love.

                23. Books

                Books provide an opportunity to enter another world all from the comfort of your own home.

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                24. Kindness of Strangers

                Never take the kindness of a stranger for granted.

                25. Campfires

                The simplicity of a campfire creates lifelong memories.

                26. Pain

                Without pain, it would be difficulty to appreciate life’s joys.

                27. Art

                The world would be less beautiful if art didn’t exist.

                28. Holidays

                Any reason to celebrate is something we should be thankful for.

                29. Freedom of Speech

                Being able to express your thoughts and feelings freely should never be taken for granted.

                30. Rainbows

                The beauty of a rainbow is unmatched.

                31. Tears

                Sometimes when there are no words to say, tears express how we feel for us.

                32. Waking up Today

                Simply waking up today means you have things to be thankful for.

                33. Indoor Plumbing

                Indoor plumbing not only provides convenience, it spares us from disease.

                34. Wisdom that Comes with Age

                Thankfully, we grow smarter over time.

                35. Mountains

                Mountains provide us with beauty and recreation.

                36. Eyesight

                Being able to see allows us to view the world’s beauty.

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                37. Grocery Stores

                Grocery stores mean we don’t have to spend all of our time getting our own food.

                38. Sunsets

                Sunsets are a reminder that we should enjoy the simple things in life.

                39. Entertainment

                Entertainment gives us a way to relax and enjoy life.

                40. Your Mind

                Being able to think, remember, and solve problems sure makes life easier.

                41. Employment

                Even if you don’t like your job, being employed means someone thought you were special enough to hire.

                42. Diversity

                The world would be a boring place without diversity.

                43. Moon and Stars

                The moon and stars encourage us to dream.

                44. Electricity

                Electricity makes most of our chores efficient.

                45. Air Conditioning

                Staying cool on a hot day is something people wouldn’t have dreamed about in past centuries.

                46. Hearing

                Being able to hear your loved one’s voice is something that not everyone gets to do.

                47. Children

                Watching children laugh, grow, and dream can keep things in perspective.

                48. Ability to Learn

                The ability to learn new things means we have endless potential.

                49. People Willing to Teach

                Whether it’s your grandmother teaching you to knit or your plumber showing you how to prevent future problems, be grateful that others are willing to use their time and talents to teach you something new.

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                50. Oceans

                The sea creatures in the ocean almost seem too mystical to be real.

                51. Modern Medicine

                Without advances in modern medicine, many of us wouldn’t be alive.

                52. Music

                Music brings out new emotions.

                53. Entrepreneurs

                Some of life’s best inventions resulted from an entrepreneur who was willing to take a risk.

                54. Warm Clothing

                On a cold day, there’s nothing more important than warm clothing.

                55. Freedom to Vote

                Being able to have a say in the laws should never be taken for granted.

                56. An Internet Connection

                It’s hard to believe how easy it is to take the internet for granted, seeing how none of us had just a couple of decades ago.

                57. Challenges

                Without challenges in life, we wouldn’t be the people we are now.

                58. Hiking Trails

                Hiking trails give us the chance to enjoy mother’s nature beauty.

                59. Vaccines

                Many of us wouldn’t be alive without today’s vaccinations.

                60. Armed Forces

                Our lives would likely be very different if we didn’t have protection from the armed forces.

                Realizing all the things you should be thankful for is the first step, practicing gratitude is what you should start doing:

                6 Ways To Implement More Gratitude In Your Life

                Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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