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10 Things You Can Do If You Feel Lack Of Support

10 Things You Can Do If You Feel Lack Of Support

At some point, everyone feels like they aren’t getting enough support. Whether it’s support from their friends, from their family, or from someone whose opinion really, really counts (Generally they don’t. More on this momentarily.), lack of support can be a devastating feeling. The urge to scream, “You don’t understand what I’m doing/feeling/going through!” can be absolutely overwhelming. Luckily for us, there are ways to counter this tendency. These 10 things you can do if you feel lack of support will not only help you achieve more and feel better, but can also help you communicate your needs and goals better.

1) Expand your support network.

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    Sometimes we make the mistake of trying to seek help from people who don’t know the first thing about what we’re trying to do. This leads to a situation where neither side feels good about the outcome. Going to the same friends to address the same basic problems can be just as bad. In these situations, a change of perspective might be needed. If you’re a writer, you should seek out other writers who don’t have a vested interest in you to discuss your problem with. The same goes if you’re a carpenter, a lawyer, or a computer programmer. This can put you on the right track and help you gain some new friends at the same time!

    2) Sharpen your own coping skills.

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    This is NOT what coping looks like.

      This is the OPPOSITE of what coping looks like.

      Think for a second about how you deal with disappointment. Do you take it on the chin, or does it send you running into your bedroom with a “migraine” that lasts three days? If it’s the latter, you probably need to develop some better coping skills. Maybe you need to be a little more physical, by punching a soft pile of pillows, for example. (It is definitely not recommended that you take your frustrations out physically on the object of your frustrations. This is a great way to land in jail.) You can also try meditation, deep breathing, or walking. Sometimes we just need a little distance to reflect on a situation before we can find the best way around it.

      3) Try keeping a journal.

      Lack of support often comes from lack of effective communication. Write down what’s frustrating you and why you feel like you aren’t getting the support you need. Then try writing down possible solutions, such as: “Talked to Mitch about my worries about the wedding. He doesn’t like my fiancee, so he was pretty unsympathetic. Maybe talk to Trish or Richard instead.” If nothing else, the act of writing it down will eliminate some of the immediacy of the problem, letting you look at it more calmly.

      4) Analyze the reason you don’t feel supported.

      Most people have pretty rigid conceptual models of what can and cannot be done, and they tend to look at anything that crosses these boundaries askance. Are you trying to do something so far out of the ordinary that most people cannot comprehend it? Or are you simply asking for too much from the people around you? You can’t expect everyone else to take care of your business while you chase a dream. If you’re trying to do this, then you need to start giving back before you can expect any support in return.

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      5) Keep it simple.

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        Lack of support often equals lack of communication. The other person just doesn’t “get it.” If you’re describing your great new invention in terms that would make Tesla blink and ask for clarification, the reason they don’t get it is likely that you’re overcomplicating the matter. “This device will make bread hot and crispy at extremely high temperatures extremely rapidly” is a poor way to say what you really mean. “This will toast bread in 2.5 seconds.”

        6) Listen to what you’re told.

        It’s entirely possible that you already have the information you need to make a decision, but you aren’t listening because it’s contrary to what you want to accomplish. If enough people tell you the same thing, it’s time to stop and mull it over. Chances are, they are speaking from experience that they are trying to help you benefit from.

        7) Ask yourself if your goal is really attainable.

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        quote-Bruce-Lee-a-goal-is-not-always-meant-to-89079

          The hardest thing in life to hear is, “You’ll never ___________ because ___________.” However, if you are told this, stop and think. Are you trying to do something that goes beyond the norm but you can realistically expect to achieve, or are you trying to do something utterly preposterous, like become a neurosurgeon even though you have palsy in your hands? Sometimes we have to switch directions or settle for something less. In this case, it’s not that your friends and family don’t support you, but they are being more realistic about how far you can go than you are.

          8) Try to understand why they don’t support you.

          Sometimes people say one thing, only to have someone hear something entirely different. This is where establishing a dialogue comes in. Getting to understand where the other person is coming from is a key factor in learning what you can do to obtain their support. This requires some empathy and maybe even a little salesmanship, but it’s well worth it in the end, and will strengthen your relationship, too.

          9) Ask yourself what you would tell you if you were them.

          quote-Bruce-Lee-mistakes-are-always-forgivable-if-one-has-332

            One of the most difficult things to admit is that we all sometimes give good advice, but are rubbish about taking it. Put yourself in the other person’s position and ask yourself, “If I saw So-and-so doing this, would I support him/her or warn against it?” This may not be a fun way to understand others, but it can help you see the issue from the other side.

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            10) Change your approach, your goals, your behavior, or all three.

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              No one wants to hang around with a self-aggrandizing jerk. If you come off as arrogant, if your goal is set too high for even gods to achieve reasonably, or if you demand support and assistance instead of asking for it, it is past time to make some changes. People appreciate being asked for help, but no one likes to have their help simply assumed. Understanding how, when, and who to approach for help is important to getting the support you need to achieve your goals!

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              Last Updated on October 18, 2018

              50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

              50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

              Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

              It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

              It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

              Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

              Quotes for self-assurance

              1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

                2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

                  3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

                    4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                      5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                        6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                          Quotes about positivity

                          7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                            8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                              9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                                10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                                  11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                                    12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                      13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                        Quotes for work and success

                                        14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                          15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                            16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                              17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                                18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                                  19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                                    20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                      21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                        22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                          23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                            24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                              25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                                26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                                  27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                                    28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                      29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                        30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                          31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                            32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                              33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                                34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                                  35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                                    36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                      37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                        38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                          39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                            40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                              41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                                42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                                  43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                                    44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                      45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                        Quotes about money

                                                                                                        46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                          47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                            48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                              49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                                50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                                  51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                                    If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                                    How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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