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10 Things to Remember If You Love a Sarcastic Person

10 Things to Remember If You Love a Sarcastic Person

Believe me: if I didn’t have to shield myself with sarcasm on a daily basis, I wouldn’t. But with all the garbage going on in the world that makes not a lick of logical sense, I think my head would explode if I took it all too seriously. I’m just glad my loving wife understands that…

1. Sarcastic people are quick-witted.

Well, maybe just quicker than our targets. We immediately see the irony in a situation, and will be quick to point it out, even if we know no one else will have the slightest clue what we’re talking about. It’s kind of sadistic, but using sarcasm gives us a sense of empowerment, since we can gauge other people’s thought process based on whether or not they understood our quick jab.

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2. Be careful what you say around a sarcastic person.

I don’t mean you should be ready for someone to chime in with “That’s what she said” or anything (and if anyone does chime in with that, you have my permission to hit them). But make sure you don’t say something that you know sounds stupid and is going to open you up to immediate ridicule. It might be a quick, off-the-cuff remark, but chances are, you won’t live it down for quite some time.

3. Sarcastic people bring you up to their level.

Once you start interacting with a truly sarcastic individual, you’ll get the hang of how to converse with them, and will know what they’re thinking at all times. This is a skill a lot of people don’t have, and it ends up making them look foolish at times. So the next time you catch yourself about to say something that you know your sarcastic friend will throw back at you, thank him for giving you a one-up on everyone else!

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4. Sarcastic people are almost never serious.

I know, I know; “behind every joke, there’s some truth.” But like I said in the intro, if sarcastic people didn’t have a sense of humor, some of them would be outright suicidal. Instead of taking things to heart and dwelling on them endlessly, we take the opposite route and let things roll off our backs.

5. If a sarcastic person teases you, it means he likes you.

Just because they incessantly pick on you doesn’t mean they don’t like you. In fact, if someone acts sarcastic to your face, it almost certainly means he truly enjoys your company. My wife knows I’d never say anything rude to her and actually mean it. But just because she means the world to me doesn’t mean I’m not going to get a quick jab in here and there. I gotta keep her on her toes!

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6. If you hear a sarcastic person mumble something, don’t ask him to repeat it.

Chances are, he mumbled it for a reason. It most likely meant nothing, but he just had to say it out loud or else he’d be left stewing for the rest of the day. On the other hand, if this becomes a regular occurrence, refer to the previous entry; if he really cares about you, he’ll make fun of you right to your face!

7. When a sarcastic person doles out a compliment, he means it.

Of course, it’s obvious when this isn’t true (like when you know you’re having a bad hair day, and he says, “Nice new ‘do!'”), but true compliments from a sarcastic person should be taken to heart, even more so than from the friend who always compliments you no matter what. If you get a sarcastic person to let down his guard and get serious, even for a short moment, you know he cares deeply about you.

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8. Sarcastic people love other sarcastic people.

Whether you’d think of it as a meeting of the minds or a war of wits, when two sarcastic people interact, get ready for fireworks. Regardless of if they’re teaming up or butting heads, getting two people armed to the teeth with salty comments is sure to provide hours of entertainment for everyone else involved.

9. People use sarcasm to deal with the world.

Sarcasm really is just a defense mechanism, whether we want to admit it or not. There are definitely things beyond our control in this universe, and we simply have to accept that. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t be a little bitter about it! Let us cope with the things we cannot change by at least making a quick comment about them. After we let off some steam, we’ll most likely move on and forget all about it.

10. Don’t get on our bad side.

Just kidding. Or maybe I’m not. You were smart enough to get this far—you figure it out!

Featured photo credit: elegant attractive fashion hipster man with rabbit woman appeared at the window via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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