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How to Feel Better When Someone is Rude to You

How to Feel Better When Someone is Rude to You

Ever had that coworker that always seems to bear all of the problems of the whole universe? What about a rude driver? Or that person crossing the street that won’t even raise a hand to say “thank you” for letting them cross the street? Or that barista that does not have a smiling face and makes you want to buy coffee some place else?

It is not easy to be unaffected when someone shows us a bad attitude or does not treat us the way that we expect them to, but the truth is, we probably are not the reason why they are behaving rudely towards us. Do not take it personally.

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Maybe the person is having a bad day.

Think of this: when you are having a really bad day and someone shows up and says “hi” to you it is hard to instantly shift from a bad mood to a good mood. It does not mean that you hate the person that just started talking to you. You are just dealing with personal annoyances.

Maybe the person has personal problems.

Sometimes you are the last thing on a person’s mind, but when you suddenly show up, or present another difficult situation, you end up being the other person’s target. They do this unintentionally though, so you will have to consider that other people carry a variety of problems that are difficult to deal with.

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Maybe the person is not feeling well.

Pain or discomfort are not easy things to get a handle on. When someone is sick or not feeling well, most of the time they just want to be left alone to rest. Dealing with physical problems affects how someone treats another person.

Maybe the person has personal issues.

Maybe the person is rude to you because he or she is insecure, or maybe wants what you have but knows that they are not capable of having it, so instead they turn against you. Insecurity and jealousy are just some of the reasons why someone might treat you badly. It is not your issue; it is theirs, so let them deal with it- not you.

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You just need to ignore it and go on with your day.

According to Albert Einstein, “Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.” That quote is so true. When something is ignored, it does not come back to you and affect you unless you allow it to. When you are able to do this, it shows that you have strength of character.

However other people behave towards you, do not think that it is you causing it. In this way you avoid conflicts and feelings of resentment. When you try to understand where the other person is coming from, you tend to be more forgiving and less critical of other people. You also are showing confidence in yourself because you do not think of yourself as someone causing trouble.

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We all go through different situations in life and we do not know everything about what other people are going through. Even closest friends sometimes cannot tell how the other is feeling or how he or she would react to a certain situation. Therefore, let us all be kind and show someone who is having a difficult day that there are still nice things in the world to appreciate- like our kindness.

Remember, you cannot control other people’s reactions, but you can control your own, and if you show goodness towards another person, the more likely that person will be to realize that he or she should not be treating you badly after all.

Featured photo credit: Pexels.com via static.pexels.com

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Sarah Bonander

Writer, Human Resources Professional

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.

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3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.

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Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:

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Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.

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8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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