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10 Things To Remember When Your Friendship Has Lasted For 10 Years

10 Things To Remember When Your Friendship Has Lasted For 10 Years

“Best Friends for Life,” is a term that is used so loosely but it rarely happens in real life. If you have a friendship that has lasted for more than 10 years then that’s something you should be proud of. Many friendships tend be over after a certain period in your life, like high school or college. You find that it is difficult to keep in touch once you’ve move on to the next chapter of your life.

If you are one of the lucky few to have a friendship that has lasted for 10 years, then here are 10 things you should remember about your friendship:

1. They Know What You like

10 years is a long time. In that time, your friend will certainly know what you like. More importantly, they’ll respect your hobbies and your interests. The best thing is, if they do find your hobby or interest a little unusual, then you’re sure to encounter some friendly banter.

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2. They Know What You Don’t like

Similar to the last point, if you have been friends for 10 years, not only will they know what you like, but they will also know what you don’t like. The beautiful thing about friendship is that there is a finely tuned balance between respect and banter. If they see something that you don’t like, always remember that they’ll tease you for it.

3. They Are Always There At Your Beck And Call

In a friendship that has lasted for this long, you’ll come to realise that you really don’t need to ask permission for anything. If you need advice, a helpful hand, or you just want to talk to someone, you know where there are.

4. They Accept You As You Are.

Acceptance of a person is not just about knowing a person’s likes and dislikes. There’s more to it than that. By being accepted for who you are, you don’t need to pretend to be someone else. Many people who try to make friends pretend to be someone else so that they can fit in. With your 10 year friendship, you will come to realise that you can be proud of who you are and you don’t need to change anything about you.

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5. You Always Remember The First Time You Guys Met

A friendship that has lasted this long doesn’t usually require much effort. In fact, you may have notice that your friendship feels so natural. Because of that, you will look back on the day you guys first met and realise that your friendship really did come from nowhere.

6. You Have 10 Years Worth Of Stuff To Talk About

When you guys hang out, you really don’t need to worry about what you have to say. That is because you have more than 10 years worth of stuff to talk about. Believe me, you can reminisce about old times whenever you feel like it. They’re called good times for a reason!

7. You’ve Lasted 10 Years For A Reason

Most friendships only last for a certain period in your life. You’ll have friends during high school, college or University, but once that finishes, you’ll tend to lose contact pretty quickly and will only tend to get together during special occasions. But with your friendship, it has lasted for 10 years for a reason.  Just hold that thought.

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8. You Will Always Forget About Your Arguments Or Indifferences

With any relationship that has lasted for 10 years, you’re bound to have differences and even have some arguments, and the same goes for your friendship. You will have times when you can’t stand each other, but you tend to forget about it pretty quickly. It’s strange, but it’s true.

9. They Are Always By Your Side

If your friend is aware that you like a certain someone, then you can sure that they will always try and put a good word in for you whenever they meet that special person that you like. The same goes for when they see someone they don’t like. They will stick up for you, no matter what. There’s a very good reason for this – your friend, who has been by your side for 10 years, will always want you to be happy.

10. There Will Be An End To Your Friendship

Like with everything in life, there will come a time where your friendship will come to an end. This could be for whatever reason. It could be a new job, moving house or settling down to start a family. Sure you may be contact, but your new life will slowly take over. So whatever happens, make the most of your friendship. You never know what’s round the corner.

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Featured photo credit: Lisa Runnels via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

1. Compare Yourself to Others

People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

2. Be Mean-Spirited

People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

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If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

4. Dwell on Failure

It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

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People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

6. Try to Please Others

They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

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7. Close Yourself off

Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

9. Fish for Compliments

If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

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10. Be Lazy

People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

11. Shy Away from Risks

When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

12. Gossip

People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

The Bottom Line

Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
[2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
[3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

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