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10 Things Only A Truly Adventurous Person Would Understand

10 Things Only A Truly Adventurous Person Would Understand

Adventure doesn’t have to be something that happens to someone else. The adventuresome know that we all live on the cusp of incredible potential. If that thought scares rather than thrills you, then maybe it is time to look at the world from the adventurous point of view.

1. You Believe in Your Dreams

Sloth.Dreams

    The adventurous know of the importance of dreams. The inventor Elias Howe’s labor changing world first Sewing Machine; Salvador Dali’s classic painting the Persistence of Memory; Paul McCartney’s melody for Yesterday; James Cameron’s first blockbuster The Terminator; even Albert Einstein’s everything-changing Theory of Relativity; all began as dreams!

    Every day is a new opportunity to dream new dreams, and to begin making them real.

    “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams… Live the life you have imagined!”

    Henry David Thoreau

    2. You Seize the Day

    Bruce.Lee

      The past is past, the future is created and the present is a gift. Adventurous people know the importance of seizing windows of opportunity. They know that once upon a time they made the decision to catch that train, that boat, that flight; and their life changed. Why wait for tomorrow to make a decision?

       “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.”

      Bruce Lee

      3. You Know the Barriers are Within

      Space.Jump

        Fear and Anxiety. They seem to come from outside. But they are our own personal experiences. One person may feel the buzz of adrenalin before going on stage and be supercharged; another overcome by horrible internal images of expected social failure.

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        The adventurous all feel fear and anxiety and they have learned to understand them. They know that fear and anxiety exist to protect us from lions and tigers, and not to stop us from choosing a new hobby, a new job, or asking someone we like out. They’ve jumped over the internal hurdles, self-limiting beliefs; they can help others join them on the other side.

        “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone”

        Neale Donald Walsch

        4. You Don’t Let Naysayers Bring You Down

        Spongeboss.

          The list of famous naysayers is a long and humorous one.

          From the IBM chief who didn’t expect the entire world market demand to grow beyond five whole computers[!], to the doubters of Christopher Columbus and the critics of the Wright Brothers – It becomes clear that every worthwhile plan has its detractors, and so if you are doing things out of the ordinary you may just have encountered some negativity yourself. This most usually speaks of the insecurities of the naysayers themselves.

          “You can’t do that!”

          People who don’t believe in you

          5. You Know New Friends Are Just Around the Corner

          Seal.Dog.Friends

            The Nightly News isn’t life. Your view of the greater world is the people you have met and the times that you have spent.

            The beaming smiles of remote village children, the Good Samaritan workers who stopped in The Middle of Nowhere to helpfully fix your tire, the old couple running the warm and welcoming country hostel – all the incredible friends you made volunteering on the other side of the earth. You know that the love in your heart for your friends and family exists everywhere, within all people.

            There is a sick and twisted minority out there of course. But we shouldn’t let them distort our view of life, or curb our enthusiasm!

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            “My humanity is bound up in yours.  Because we can only be human together”

            Desmond Tutu

            6. You Know there is No Success without Failure

            Snitch

              You may have wanted to travel round the world but quit because of home-sickness, you may have started a business that didn’t gain enough clients – but you know that you have learned from these setbacks priceless knowledge that will help you in future. Edison (one of the greatest inventors of all time) famously never failed but “found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. Without that attitude of his we wouldn’t be able to benefit from the light bulb!

              A child learns to ride a bike by frequently making mistakes. All those wobbles and outright falls and crashes are eventually integrated together into a pattern of success. Everyone learns through failure. Those who know this are the one’s achieving great success.

               “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default!”

              J.K. Rowling

              7. You Know How to Deal with Loneliness and Frustration

              By.Myself

                Stepping out of your comfort zone to experience new peoples and places on your own can be challenging. You might find yourself friendless for long periods in a country where you don’t speak the language. You may encounter unexpected difficulties like natural disasters and missed flights.

                Frustration can be overcome by going with the flow, and accepting you are not always in control of events, and loneliness by giving yourself a personal mission. Why not picture yourself as a roving reporter, taking notes on sights and sounds unknowable by those back home? Take a seat in a public cafe, relax, and watch the world go by.

                “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

                Winston Churchill

                8. You seek Inspiration in Nature

                Pacific.Coast

                  Nature recharges. It excites. It inspires. It heals.

                  It’s also just a plane, train or automobile away from even the biggest city. You know that the wonders of nature will be with you in your heart for the rest of your life; restoring your equilibrium, soothing your soul and providing an unparalleled muse.

                  These are all worth far more than the cost of going there and back again.

                  Get out there.

                  “In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks”

                  John Muir

                  9. You seek Inspiration in Culture

                  Jackman.Wonder

                    The Taj Mahal, the Louvre, the Vatican City, Kyoto, the Pyramids of Egypt, the Serengeti, Machu Picchu. The world contains far more than Seven Wonders; every nation and culture on earth is a dazzling jewel of experience that can offer a lifetime’s worth of creative inspiration.

                    In centuries past the young and wealthy often went on a “Grand Tour” of the ancient cultures of Europe. Many modern creatives have followed in their footsteps; from Tolkien to Disney.

                    Thanks to 21st century transport, we can all potentially do the same (even if in installments); but now affordably taking in the Wonders of an Entire World!

                    “ideas come from curiosity”

                    Walt Disney

                    10. You Know that Life is on Your Side

                    Adventure.Hobbit

                      “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

                      Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.

                      Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

                      W.H. Murray, The Scottish Himalaya Expedition    

                      Call it Serendipity. Call it Synchronicity. Call it what you will, but many adventurers have experienced first-hand “all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance” helping them towards their goal; Providence.

                      Beginnings really do have genius, power and magic within them.

                      So, as the adventurous would say, what are you waiting for?

                      Featured photo credit: A sport’s man dive in blue lagoon of a tropical island via shutterstock.com

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                      Published on April 7, 2021

                      6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                      6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

                      Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

                      While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

                      1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

                      Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

                      If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

                      In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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                      2. They Make Everything Transactional

                      Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

                      For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

                      Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

                      A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

                      Some statements to be wary of include:

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                      • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
                      • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
                      • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
                      • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

                      3. They Criticize Everything

                      One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

                      However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

                      Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

                      • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
                      • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
                      • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
                      • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

                      4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

                      We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

                      For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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                      This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

                      5. They Socially Isolate You

                      Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

                      Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

                      This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

                      In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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                      6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

                      It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

                      Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

                      Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

                      • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
                      • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
                      • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
                      • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

                      Final Thoughts

                      It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

                      More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

                      Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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