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6 Limiting Beliefs That You Should Change Today

6 Limiting Beliefs That You Should Change Today

When we are kids there is no such thing as a limiting belief. Everything is possible. There’s a fat guy that brings us presents once a year. There are superheros that fly around with capes fighting crime. And becoming a professional wrestler is a legitimate career option. But then something curious happens.

The world begins to tell us otherwise. Somewhere around 11 or 12 years old we begin to see the boxes shaping that society would like us to fit in. The fat man in the red suit is long gone. Superheros are now for kids. And wearing a suit and tie is suddenly a better option than the wrestling outfit. These boxes our so drilled into our culture that most of the time we forget to even ask if they’re real boxes or not. Are they there? Or are they made up by someone else? These boxes are limiting beliefs, and they don’t have to be your reality just because they are someone else’s. These are six limiting beliefs that you should change today.

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1. I am not smart enough.

Yes you are. You’ve just had someone or something lead you to believe otherwise. Sure, we all have some sort of genetic level of intelligence that has been gifted to us. But that represents a very small margin of our overall intelligence. Being “smart” is a product of learning, studying and practicing a small handful of things, and becoming the best you can be at them. When you become really good at just a few things, you become incredibly valuable to a person or a company that needs those talents. You don’t have to be a genius. You just have to be the smartest guy or girl in the room at something.

2. I’m too inexperienced.

So is everyone else. Some of the wealthiest entrepreneurs in the world are in their 20’s. They were young and ambitious enough to not care if they had experience or not. The only way you gain experience is to jump in with both feet, and being inexperienced is a blessing. You get to approach problems with a naive eye, which can lead to solutions that more experienced people wouldn’t have thought of. Own your inexperience, and know that creativity and hard work will make up for what you lack in years.

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3. It’s too late for me.

Some of the most popular authors in history never wrote a novel until they were in their 60’s or older. Some of the most successful entrepreneurs never tasted success until they failed well into their 40’s or later. The only time it’s too late for you is when you’re six feet under. If you’re not there yet, it’s not too late. Start now.

4. I can’t be happy until…

You can’t be happy until you stop thinking like this, and just choose to be happy. If you allow your happiness to depend on an object or a person, you are letting something outside of your control dictate your happiness. Take that control back. You will wake up happy every single day when you wake up grateful for what you do have, instead of wanting something more. It is a choice. Choose happiness.

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5. This is who I am.

This is who you are…this very second. Who you are a minute, a day, a year from now has yet to be decided. We are evolving beings, constantly being shaped by our experiences, our knowledge (see point #1), the people around us, and our approach to growth. Who I am today is very different from who I was a year ago, and dramatically different from who I was 10 years ago. Much like happiness, you can choose to allow your life and experiences to wash over your, leaving you much the same. Or you can choose to allow them to shape you, to drive you into the next and better version of yourself.

6. I’m too busy.

I’m too busy…to workout…to start my side business…to give my time…to be a parent. No excuse in the world has been used more than “I’m too busy” and it’s the biggest scapegoat ever invented. If you truly believe you are too busy to pursue your dreams, ask yourself what time you wake up. Ask yourself how much time you spend on social media. Ask yourself how much time you spend clicking refresh on your email. Ask yourself how much time you spend watching your favorite television shows. Ask yourself how much time you spend watching the evening news or reading your favorite websites. When we are honest with ourselves, we realize we are not too busy. We just haven’t made our dreams a priority in our schedule.

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The boxes we are nudged into by society are invented by someone else. The people in this world that find enormous success, incredible happiness, and love the lives they live recognize that these boxes are not real. They shatter these boxes, and all of the sudden the world is a wide open playground, ready to be explored. The boxes are limiting beliefs. But they are only limiting if you believe they are there. That can change today.

Featured photo credit: The way forward railway via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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