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10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

They’re Controlling

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    A sizable indicator that someone is a toxic person is if they are overly controlling. Though many of us have controlling tendencies, there’s a difference between someone who likes things tidy and someone who tries to manipulate the people close to them. If you feel somebody trying to pull your strings the person in question is probably not the best for you.

    They’re Jealous

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      Another way someone can be a toxic force in your life is by being constantly jealous of your accomplishments. The people you are closest to in life should be overjoyed each time you succeed, so if you feel like you can never share good news with this person that should be a red flag.

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      They Lie

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        Unsurprisingly, toxic persons are often frequent liars. Whether this person is telling large or little lies, it doesn’t matter. If you frequently catch someone lying to others, there’s a strong chance they are also lying to you. People who have the greatest positive effect on us are people we can trust, so keeping someone who is dishonest around will inevitably be a drain on you.

        They Play The Victim

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          Another way toxic persons can be harmful is by always playing the victim. Although these people may be convincing as to why a situation is far worse for them, if someone constantly claims to be the worst affected by life it can be a sign they are not good for you. Someone who is toxic will consistently ask others to give more than they themselves are willing to give.

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          They Gossip

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            Another hallmark of toxic persons is a zest for gossip that’s a little too strong. Not only does overly frequent gossip show that someone will rarely converse with you about things of substance, gossip is also usually fiction. If you are constantly around someone who’s a constant gossip it is likely they have the same lack of respect for you. Not only that, only talking about other people is tiresome and boring in the long run, so you are probably better off without them.

            They’re Greedy

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              Another way toxic persons negatively affect our lives is by being greedy. If someone close to you only has regard for what they gain in every situation, you are likely the one who will be constantly shortchanged. This might not bug you at first, but over time, getting the short end of the stick will take its toll.

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              They Always Come First

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                In a similar way, toxic persons usually only consider themselves. If the person in question never seems to find time for you (but you are constantly willing to help them), it’s a huge indicator that their time is more important to them. Another way someone only considers themselves is with a lack of concern for your well-being. If you frequently check in on them to see how they’re doing, but they show little to no regard for your state of wellness, it’s likely an unhealthy situation.

                They’re Negative

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                  Being overly negative and judgmental is another way toxic persons give themselves away. No matter what you try and do with this person, it will always be less than what they wanted. Especially when unforeseeable problems arise, this person will complain to no end, let it completely ruin their day, and predictably blame you too. No matter how well an evening goes, it will always be too busy, too expensive, too much traffic, not enough fun, or not exciting enough. When you find someone’s negativity consistently interferes with your ability to have a good time, it’s likely time to move on.

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                  They’re Arrogant

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                    Similarly, toxic persons are often also very arrogant. They will see themselves as the smartest person in the room, and the only person capable of carrying out tasks. Perhaps their constant negativity stems from this arrogance, as it seems they always know the “right” way to do things. A person can only handle so much ego, so if you find yourself consistently put down next to this person, chances are they are an overall negative force for you.

                    They’re Always Right

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                      Finally, toxic persons frequently try to dominate every conversation. Since they think they are the smartest person in the room, everyone else must be wrong. With toxic persons, small, humorous conversations will quickly escalate into violent arguments. You can also forget about them ever considering your point of view since their point of view is fact. When somebody sees a conversation as a challenge they must win it’s nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship. In this way, moving on from friends who are toxic is crucial in life to feel self-assured, free, and capable.

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                      Alicia Prince

                      A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                      Last Updated on October 17, 2019

                      How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

                      How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

                      You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

                      But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

                      Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

                      What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

                      Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

                      So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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                      1. Recognize the Signs

                      If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

                      Some telltale signs include:

                      • You’re always on your phones.
                      • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
                      • You aren’t together during important events.
                      • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
                      • You don’t make plans or date nights.
                      • You’re not happy.

                      If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

                      2. Try New Things Together

                      Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

                      Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

                      Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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                      Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

                      3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

                      Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

                      Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

                      Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

                      4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

                      One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

                      Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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                      5. Cook Meals Together

                      Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

                      One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

                      Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

                      If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

                      6. Have a Regular Date Night

                      Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

                      The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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                      Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

                      • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
                      • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
                      • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
                      • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
                      • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
                      • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
                      • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

                      Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

                      Final Thoughts

                      The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

                      • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
                      • Lowers divorce rates
                      • Improves communication
                      • Reduces marital boredom
                      • Bonds couples closer
                      • Improves friendship
                      • Boosts health
                      • Reduces stress

                      These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

                      It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

                      These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

                      Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

                      Reference

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