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10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

They’re Controlling

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    A sizable indicator that someone is a toxic person is if they are overly controlling. Though many of us have controlling tendencies, there’s a difference between someone who likes things tidy and someone who tries to manipulate the people close to them. If you feel somebody trying to pull your strings the person in question is probably not the best for you.

    They’re Jealous

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      Another way someone can be a toxic force in your life is by being constantly jealous of your accomplishments. The people you are closest to in life should be overjoyed each time you succeed, so if you feel like you can never share good news with this person that should be a red flag.

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      They Lie

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        Unsurprisingly, toxic persons are often frequent liars. Whether this person is telling large or little lies, it doesn’t matter. If you frequently catch someone lying to others, there’s a strong chance they are also lying to you. People who have the greatest positive effect on us are people we can trust, so keeping someone who is dishonest around will inevitably be a drain on you.

        They Play The Victim

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          Another way toxic persons can be harmful is by always playing the victim. Although these people may be convincing as to why a situation is far worse for them, if someone constantly claims to be the worst affected by life it can be a sign they are not good for you. Someone who is toxic will consistently ask others to give more than they themselves are willing to give.

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          They Gossip

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            Another hallmark of toxic persons is a zest for gossip that’s a little too strong. Not only does overly frequent gossip show that someone will rarely converse with you about things of substance, gossip is also usually fiction. If you are constantly around someone who’s a constant gossip it is likely they have the same lack of respect for you. Not only that, only talking about other people is tiresome and boring in the long run, so you are probably better off without them.

            They’re Greedy

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              Another way toxic persons negatively affect our lives is by being greedy. If someone close to you only has regard for what they gain in every situation, you are likely the one who will be constantly shortchanged. This might not bug you at first, but over time, getting the short end of the stick will take its toll.

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              They Always Come First

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                In a similar way, toxic persons usually only consider themselves. If the person in question never seems to find time for you (but you are constantly willing to help them), it’s a huge indicator that their time is more important to them. Another way someone only considers themselves is with a lack of concern for your well-being. If you frequently check in on them to see how they’re doing, but they show little to no regard for your state of wellness, it’s likely an unhealthy situation.

                They’re Negative

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                  Being overly negative and judgmental is another way toxic persons give themselves away. No matter what you try and do with this person, it will always be less than what they wanted. Especially when unforeseeable problems arise, this person will complain to no end, let it completely ruin their day, and predictably blame you too. No matter how well an evening goes, it will always be too busy, too expensive, too much traffic, not enough fun, or not exciting enough. When you find someone’s negativity consistently interferes with your ability to have a good time, it’s likely time to move on.

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                  They’re Arrogant

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                    Similarly, toxic persons are often also very arrogant. They will see themselves as the smartest person in the room, and the only person capable of carrying out tasks. Perhaps their constant negativity stems from this arrogance, as it seems they always know the “right” way to do things. A person can only handle so much ego, so if you find yourself consistently put down next to this person, chances are they are an overall negative force for you.

                    They’re Always Right

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                      Finally, toxic persons frequently try to dominate every conversation. Since they think they are the smartest person in the room, everyone else must be wrong. With toxic persons, small, humorous conversations will quickly escalate into violent arguments. You can also forget about them ever considering your point of view since their point of view is fact. When somebody sees a conversation as a challenge they must win it’s nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship. In this way, moving on from friends who are toxic is crucial in life to feel self-assured, free, and capable.

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                      Last Updated on January 18, 2019

                      7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                      7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

                      Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

                      But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

                      If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

                      1. Limit the time you spend with them.

                      First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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                      In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

                      Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

                      2. Speak up for yourself.

                      Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

                      3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

                      This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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                      But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

                      4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

                      Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

                      This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

                      Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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                      5. Change the subject.

                      When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

                      Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

                      6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

                      Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

                      I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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                      You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

                      Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

                      7. Leave them behind.

                      Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

                      If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

                      That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

                      You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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