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10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

10 Signs That They’re Toxic Persons, Even Though You Don’t Feel Like It

They’re Controlling

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    A sizable indicator that someone is a toxic person is if they are overly controlling. Though many of us have controlling tendencies, there’s a difference between someone who likes things tidy and someone who tries to manipulate the people close to them. If you feel somebody trying to pull your strings the person in question is probably not the best for you.

    They’re Jealous

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      Another way someone can be a toxic force in your life is by being constantly jealous of your accomplishments. The people you are closest to in life should be overjoyed each time you succeed, so if you feel like you can never share good news with this person that should be a red flag.

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      They Lie

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        Unsurprisingly, toxic persons are often frequent liars. Whether this person is telling large or little lies, it doesn’t matter. If you frequently catch someone lying to others, there’s a strong chance they are also lying to you. People who have the greatest positive effect on us are people we can trust, so keeping someone who is dishonest around will inevitably be a drain on you.

        They Play The Victim

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          Another way toxic persons can be harmful is by always playing the victim. Although these people may be convincing as to why a situation is far worse for them, if someone constantly claims to be the worst affected by life it can be a sign they are not good for you. Someone who is toxic will consistently ask others to give more than they themselves are willing to give.

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          They Gossip

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            Another hallmark of toxic persons is a zest for gossip that’s a little too strong. Not only does overly frequent gossip show that someone will rarely converse with you about things of substance, gossip is also usually fiction. If you are constantly around someone who’s a constant gossip it is likely they have the same lack of respect for you. Not only that, only talking about other people is tiresome and boring in the long run, so you are probably better off without them.

            They’re Greedy

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              Another way toxic persons negatively affect our lives is by being greedy. If someone close to you only has regard for what they gain in every situation, you are likely the one who will be constantly shortchanged. This might not bug you at first, but over time, getting the short end of the stick will take its toll.

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              They Always Come First

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                In a similar way, toxic persons usually only consider themselves. If the person in question never seems to find time for you (but you are constantly willing to help them), it’s a huge indicator that their time is more important to them. Another way someone only considers themselves is with a lack of concern for your well-being. If you frequently check in on them to see how they’re doing, but they show little to no regard for your state of wellness, it’s likely an unhealthy situation.

                They’re Negative

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                  Being overly negative and judgmental is another way toxic persons give themselves away. No matter what you try and do with this person, it will always be less than what they wanted. Especially when unforeseeable problems arise, this person will complain to no end, let it completely ruin their day, and predictably blame you too. No matter how well an evening goes, it will always be too busy, too expensive, too much traffic, not enough fun, or not exciting enough. When you find someone’s negativity consistently interferes with your ability to have a good time, it’s likely time to move on.

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                  They’re Arrogant

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                    Similarly, toxic persons are often also very arrogant. They will see themselves as the smartest person in the room, and the only person capable of carrying out tasks. Perhaps their constant negativity stems from this arrogance, as it seems they always know the “right” way to do things. A person can only handle so much ego, so if you find yourself consistently put down next to this person, chances are they are an overall negative force for you.

                    They’re Always Right

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                      Finally, toxic persons frequently try to dominate every conversation. Since they think they are the smartest person in the room, everyone else must be wrong. With toxic persons, small, humorous conversations will quickly escalate into violent arguments. You can also forget about them ever considering your point of view since their point of view is fact. When somebody sees a conversation as a challenge they must win it’s nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship. In this way, moving on from friends who are toxic is crucial in life to feel self-assured, free, and capable.

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                      Alicia Prince

                      A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                      Last Updated on December 10, 2019

                      5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

                      5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

                      Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

                      Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

                      But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

                      Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

                      But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

                      Journal writing.

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                      Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

                      Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

                      Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

                      1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

                      By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

                      Consider this:

                      Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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                      But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

                      The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

                      2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

                      If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

                      How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

                      Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

                      You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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                      3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

                      As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

                      Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

                      All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

                      4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

                      Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

                      Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

                      The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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                      5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

                      The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

                      It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

                      Kickstart Journaling

                      How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

                      Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

                      Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

                      Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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