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10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

10 Sentences You Would Never Hear From Your Best Friends

Best friends are meant to be real, ride or die persons that will be forever close to you. You can eat an entire pizza with a best friend and be so original about it. You are completely free with your best friend. Even when say silly things or bullshit, you understand each other.

But there are times you hear something from a friend and you have to know if the person has always been a friend. These statements can kill your self-confidence and be spiteful. Here are ten sentences your best friend will never say to you.

1. “No you can’t borrow that”

Best friends share stuff. There are times you will need the other person to help you through a night or a day out – not being able to borrow something from a friend means the person is not a true friend in the first place.

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2. “I don’t care”

This sentence implies a lot – it means you should leave them alone and that there are better things to do than listening to what your friend has to say.

3. “Why are you calling me at this hour?”

It will be better for you to suggest a sentence that shows you are willing to come over and talk, rather than question why you have been called at 4am. You are BFFs – you should be there for each other during any time of the day.

4. “I can’t stand who you are dating”

There are times it is better to be silent about your opinion, and then there are the times when your BFF is in a relationship with someone who he/she cares about. Although you don’t have to lie about your feelings, you have to be mindful of how you talk about with your negative feelings. Be concerned about your friend feels but never stand in the way.

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5. “Are you really going to eat all of that?”

When you start questioning the diet of your best friend it means you want to upset your friendship. You should understand your friend’s nutritional decisions and not play the devil’s advocate.

6. “You can’t do it.”

You are never in the position to say this, because your statement means that no matter how much he/she tries they won’t be good enough. You may have good intentions and not want your friend to live under any illusions but you are simply not the judge of their life!

 7. “I told you but you just won’t listen.”

Either you mean that your friend is deaf or you are much better than he/she. When things go wrong, you should show you are willing to help rather than criticize. Your friendship is not a competition and it is not about who is winning or losing.

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8. “Your family drives me crazy.”

This sentence is a gut punch and it could hurt really badly. Your friend’s family is part of his/her identity. Sure, family can drive a wedge between you and your friend but you should learn to adjust and adapt.

9.  “Your new hairdo is totally amaze!”

If something is not right, it would be better you just said it. If your BFF says amaze rather than amazing it means the person is trying to be sarcastic. A true friend does not need to lie to you. If you have made a mistake then they will help you correct it.

10. “You are wrong.”

You are wrong simply means you are stupid, worthless and do not know anything. Whatever assumptions your BFF is making it is better for you be working from the same direction. A better sentence would be that, “I would have thought that…”, “My understanding is that…”

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There are a lot of sentences that can hurt a friendship. It is better for you to be aware of what you say to your friends than to act on instinct. If it does spill out accidentally, make sure to quickly take it back.

Featured photo credit: http://pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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