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10 Happiness Habits You Often Forget

10 Happiness Habits You Often Forget

Happiness is achieved by the simplest of habits that we can practice every day, without learning fancy principles. But often the simplest ways are the ones we most easily forget. If you can’t beat the blues, then you have most likely forgotten these happiness habits:

1. You forget to breathe consciously

Most spiritual teachings today talk about meditation of all forms and kinds. And they all share the same fundamental instruction: breathe. Go out, find a natural spot under the shade of tree or in a park. Inhale deeply, then exhale. Repeat this 10 times and watch how you lighten up your mood.

2. You forget to smile at people around you

Smiling is not just a happiness booster for yourself, you also boost other people’s happiness. In fact, the more you smile at the people around you, the more they are eager to help you when you need it, even without asking. That’s because smiling breaks the ice between strangers and brings so much positive energy that you’ll end up making great friends.

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3. You forget to say thank you

Saying thank you is not just about appreciating someone who did you a favor. It is also about your overall feeling and imagination: of being thankful for the littlest things that you receive and enjoy. Never let those things go unnoticed. Feel good, be thankful and you’ll be always happy.

4. You forget to savor your experience

Are you always hurried with what you are doing? Do you always feel that you’re running out of time or money? Or do you always think that there’s not enough for you to enjoy? Take some time to enjoy the taste of the food you are eating, or the comfort of the chair you are sitting on, or anything that brings convenience to your life that you often take for granted. Savoring each moment and experience brings more life to your life.

5. You forget to stay quiet for a while

You surf the internet, you watch TV, you go to work, you hang out with friends, you do so many errands. You are so caught up with all these things that you have forgotten to spend some quiet time. Take a moment to sit down, find a quiet place, breathe, and do nothing – feeling the silence and being happy.

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6. You forget to stretch like a cat

How often do you wake up in the morning and still feel stressed and heavy? Stretch out your arms and legs (look at your cat and see what I mean). You don’t need to do yoga when you stretch (although it helps if you know the basics). Stretching makes you feel lighter and more energetic.

7. You forget to dance

It seems like dancing is the most awkward thing for many people, especially those who often feel the blues. To dance is always an expression of happy celebration. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a pro. All you have to do is move to the beat, glide your feet on the ground, swing your arms and happily sway your hips. You’ll notice how easy it is to be happy when you dance.

8. You forget to pay attention

Have you ever stopped for a while just to look at the vivid colors of flowers and plants? Have you ever listened intently to the birds singing in the morning? Have you ever hugged someone tightly, hugging much longer than usual? Have you walked barefoot on the grass or dried leaves? Paying attention is about engaging yourself in the unnoticed world around you, no matter how seemingly trivial things are. See how this habit can instantly bring you so much happiness.

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9. You forget to watch the sunset

Sunsets are always a beautiful view beyond words. Every sunset is kaleidoscopic, with beautiful patterns that cannot be repeated. The clouds change shape in a matter of seconds. The skies change color from golden yellow to orange to dark blue, and the setting sun turns into a bright red disk. Watching how the sun sets is a bliss all by itself.

10. You forget to daydream

For people who work too hard, daydreaming is such a waste of time. At school, teachers scold students who daydream more than listen to boring lectures. We never thought that daydreaming was a healthy way to reboot your mind. You get to make your imagination work and get your creative juices flowing, and sharpen both your memory and concentration without being dragged down by all the worries that eat up your energy. Pause and daydream, and unleash happiness in a very simple way.

Happiness is about the simplest habits we often forget. Do just one or all of them every day, and let happiness be your daily thing!

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Featured photo credit: Joy.Youth.Sky.Blue.Sun.Shine. Sunshine.Happiness naive./Irina Iordachescu via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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