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10 Happiness Habits You Often Forget

10 Happiness Habits You Often Forget

Happiness is achieved by the simplest of habits that we can practice every day, without learning fancy principles. But often the simplest ways are the ones we most easily forget. If you can’t beat the blues, then you have most likely forgotten these happiness habits:

1. You forget to breathe consciously

Most spiritual teachings today talk about meditation of all forms and kinds. And they all share the same fundamental instruction: breathe. Go out, find a natural spot under the shade of tree or in a park. Inhale deeply, then exhale. Repeat this 10 times and watch how you lighten up your mood.

2. You forget to smile at people around you

Smiling is not just a happiness booster for yourself, you also boost other people’s happiness. In fact, the more you smile at the people around you, the more they are eager to help you when you need it, even without asking. That’s because smiling breaks the ice between strangers and brings so much positive energy that you’ll end up making great friends.

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3. You forget to say thank you

Saying thank you is not just about appreciating someone who did you a favor. It is also about your overall feeling and imagination: of being thankful for the littlest things that you receive and enjoy. Never let those things go unnoticed. Feel good, be thankful and you’ll be always happy.

4. You forget to savor your experience

Are you always hurried with what you are doing? Do you always feel that you’re running out of time or money? Or do you always think that there’s not enough for you to enjoy? Take some time to enjoy the taste of the food you are eating, or the comfort of the chair you are sitting on, or anything that brings convenience to your life that you often take for granted. Savoring each moment and experience brings more life to your life.

5. You forget to stay quiet for a while

You surf the internet, you watch TV, you go to work, you hang out with friends, you do so many errands. You are so caught up with all these things that you have forgotten to spend some quiet time. Take a moment to sit down, find a quiet place, breathe, and do nothing – feeling the silence and being happy.

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6. You forget to stretch like a cat

How often do you wake up in the morning and still feel stressed and heavy? Stretch out your arms and legs (look at your cat and see what I mean). You don’t need to do yoga when you stretch (although it helps if you know the basics). Stretching makes you feel lighter and more energetic.

7. You forget to dance

It seems like dancing is the most awkward thing for many people, especially those who often feel the blues. To dance is always an expression of happy celebration. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a pro. All you have to do is move to the beat, glide your feet on the ground, swing your arms and happily sway your hips. You’ll notice how easy it is to be happy when you dance.

8. You forget to pay attention

Have you ever stopped for a while just to look at the vivid colors of flowers and plants? Have you ever listened intently to the birds singing in the morning? Have you ever hugged someone tightly, hugging much longer than usual? Have you walked barefoot on the grass or dried leaves? Paying attention is about engaging yourself in the unnoticed world around you, no matter how seemingly trivial things are. See how this habit can instantly bring you so much happiness.

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9. You forget to watch the sunset

Sunsets are always a beautiful view beyond words. Every sunset is kaleidoscopic, with beautiful patterns that cannot be repeated. The clouds change shape in a matter of seconds. The skies change color from golden yellow to orange to dark blue, and the setting sun turns into a bright red disk. Watching how the sun sets is a bliss all by itself.

10. You forget to daydream

For people who work too hard, daydreaming is such a waste of time. At school, teachers scold students who daydream more than listen to boring lectures. We never thought that daydreaming was a healthy way to reboot your mind. You get to make your imagination work and get your creative juices flowing, and sharpen both your memory and concentration without being dragged down by all the worries that eat up your energy. Pause and daydream, and unleash happiness in a very simple way.

Happiness is about the simplest habits we often forget. Do just one or all of them every day, and let happiness be your daily thing!

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Featured photo credit: Joy.Youth.Sky.Blue.Sun.Shine. Sunshine.Happiness naive./Irina Iordachescu via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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