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10 Hacks to Communicate with Geeks

10 Hacks to Communicate with Geeks

I have some good news. You don’t have to learn Klingon, write in code, or reset a secret password to communicate with geeks. Geeks represent many different types of people–video gamers, computer scientists, science fiction bookworms, theater geeks, mathematicians, and engineers. The list goes on. With such a diverse group, it can be difficult to know what to talk about. Often, geeks can feel just as awkward as you might.

When approaching a geek, you don’t have to be afraid. They won’t bite and they won’t transport you into a world so foreign that you’ll never be able to escape. Although, they’ll gladly take you there if you’d like.

Here are 10 hacks to effectively communicate with geeks.

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1. Don’t disturb the geek

Geeks love to engulf themselves in their work. While they may be interested in talking with you at some point, it’s best to let the geeks finish their work. At least let them notice you before you barge in and start talking at them. Respect the geek domain and respect the geeks when they are in their domain.

2. Find something geeky to talk about

The easiest way to relate to geeks is to speak their language. If a geek is into computers, ask a question about a computer problem you’re having! They love to talk about things they really know well. Often, you can’t get them to stop talking once they feel comfortable opening up to someone who is interested in learning about their favorite topics. Do a little research about a topic you know they will enjoy talking about.

3. Be absolutely clear about what you want

Typically, geeks don’t enjoy making small talk or beating around the bush. When approaching a geek for advice, get to the point. You will save yourself a lot of awkward conversation. Set clear expectations about the result you want to achieve, instead of focusing on the process to get there. Let the geek help you with what he or she does best.

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4. Don’t talk at the geek to fill in gaps in conversation

Geeks can be overwhelmed with too much chit chat. They aren’t interested in talking about life just to talk about life. They want to get to the root of the conversation. If there is an awkward silence, the geek is most likely formulating a calculated response to such a vague question. “Does not compute” plays over and over in a geek’s head.

5. Respect the geek’s valuable time

Geeks love to spend time doing what they love. Even though it may not make sense to what they enjoy spending time doing, respect that it takes time to do it. Don’t assume that geeks are doing busy work to pass the time. Geeks are smart people but it can still take a lot effort to solve the problems at hand. It may come easy to them, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t take effort to do it.

6. Approach the geek with caution

Don’t barge into a geek’s domain. They aren’t typically excited to see you when they are in their geek worlds. They don’t want to be excitedly tapped on the shoulder or talked over. Allow the geek to approach you when he or she is ready. Let the geek come to you and make eye contact. They don’t like to be abruptly interrupted, because it takes their attention away from their valuable work.

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7. Request the geek’s unique expertise

Geeks love to help when they can! Often, it’s surprising to geeks when other people are genuinely interested in what they do. They love when they are asked to help someone solve a problem. Geeks are often great problem solvers who will do anything to find the answer. They want to help but just need know exactly what the problem is.

8. Be prepared to listen to geek language

Even though geeks love to help, they might assume that you know they language they speak.  To an outsider, some of the language may be boring or uninteresting. To a geek, it’s like reciting a Shakespearean sonnet. Ask questions to clarity but remember that they aren’t speaking in a secret language or code.

9. Respect the geek’s space

Don’t start messing with the geek’s toys, computers, notes, books, etc. There is a reason they are placed the way they are and it’s not something that’s “cute”. Geeks are passionate about what they own and what they love to do. They aren’t stuck in their childhood or have attachment issues. Some just enjoy building models and strategically placing action figures all over the house. It brings them great joy. Don’t mess with their joy.

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10. Treat them as people, not as foreign aliens from a galaxy far, far away

Many geeks like to escape to fantasy worlds and are enthralled by these worlds, sometimes to a fault. Deep down though, geeks are people just like anyone else. They want to be treated and respected as people. They may have a roundabout way of expressing their needs, but they definitely don’t like being treated as if they are, indeed, foreign.

The next time you want to communicate with a geek, remember these 10 tips as you approach a geek in his or her domain. You don’t have to figure out their secret code to get their attention. They are people first, and their unique geekiness is another awesome part of who they are.

Just remember to proceed with caution as you enter into that realm of uniqueness.

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Featured photo credit: speak talk microphone tincan can/Ryan McGuire via pixabay.com

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

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Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

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