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10 Habits You Need To Quit Today To Be More Sociable

10 Habits You Need To Quit Today To Be More Sociable

Bad social habits can interfere with your ability to develop relationships and engage in meaningful conversations with others. Be on the lookout for these bad habits so you can start to become more sociable today.

1. Complaining to Gain Sympathy

Complaining about how bad your life is or how unfair things are to gain other’s attention and sympathy, can backfire quickly. It might work in the short-term because people want to respond with kindness, but if it becomes a habit, you’re more likely to send people running in the other direction.

2. Focusing on Your Point of View Only

Focusing on what you’ve got to say without really hearing other points of view is a habit that will quickly annoy others. Truly listening to other points of view is at the heart of good communication.

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If you find yourself always thinking about what you’re going to say next, rather than hearing what others have to say, work on your communication skills. Become more sociable by asking follow-up questions or rephrasing what the other person has said before getting back to your point of view.

3. Listening Half-Heartedly

If you think you’re good at multi-tasking while you communicate, you might be surprised at how much you’re missing. It’s disrespectful to other people if you can’t put down your cell phone, pause the TV, or make eye contact when someone is talking with you.

Practice giving people your undivided attention whether you’re on the phone or talking to someone in person. Show that you value what they have to say and make a concerted effort to stop trying to multi-task while they’re talking.

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4. Taking the Wind out of People’s Sails

If you only point out the negative, people will quickly stop wanting to talk to you. It’s one thing to point out some potential negative aspects of a person’s choices, but it should be balanced with the positive points as well.

Whether you’ve got a friend who is dating someone new or a family member who has interviewed for a new job, avoid telling them all the reasons why they aren’t likely to be successful. If you want to be more sociable, offer support and be willing to cheer others on as they attempt to make their way through the world.

5. Attempting to Always Please Everyone

You can’t make everyone happy all the time so there’s no need to try. If you always try to do what others want, you’re actually likely to annoy people.

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Become more sociable by being willing to share your opinion in respectful ways. Avoid always answering questions with statements like, “I don’t care,” or “Whatever you want is fine.”

6. Arguing About Everything

Argumentative people quickly turn others off. Avoid constantly correcting people or debating with them. You don’t always have to agree with others and you don’t need to attempt to change their minds. Focus more on the relationship than trying to prove that you’re always right.

7. Talking About Yourself too Much

People will grow tired of hearing all about you if you don’t ever offer them a chance to talk about themselves. Ask questions about others and show a genuine interest in learning about their lives. Don’t allow yourself to keep the focus on you and everything happening in your world only.

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8. Gossiping About Everyone

If you gossip about everyone else, people will begin to avoid you. Smart people will recognize that they’re not immune to being a victim of your gossip.

Avoid spreading rumors or contributing to drama. Avoid talking about other people’s business and become more sociable by sharing ideas and experiences.

9. Bragging About Your Accomplishments

It’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments, but bragging about yourself isn’t an endearing way to attract people. Unless you’re at a job interview, there is no need to tell people how great you are.

10. Dealing with Anger Inappropriately

Whether you tend to yell and scream or simply cut people out of your life every time you feel angry, dealing with anger inappropriately can seriously limit your social life. Learn how to speak up and express yourself in an assertive manner. Asking for what you want is fine, but becoming demanding or hostile isn’t likely to win you any friendship awards.

More by this author

Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime 6 Mistakes That Keep You Struggling in Life And Stuck

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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