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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

10 Ways to Stop Being Pessimistic

10 Ways to Stop Being Pessimistic
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Remember being carefree and optimistic during your childhood? Now, you are older and wiser and maybe even cynical. As we get older, life gets tough because we get more responsibilities or life throws experiences at us that shape us into pessimists.

Don’t worry, even if you are at the glass-half-empty end of the spectrum, there is still hope for you. It is never too late to change your thoughts. After all, your thoughts shape your reality.

But how can you stop being pessimistic? How to be more of a “glass-half-full” person?

If you want a positive reality, then your thoughts need to reflect the same.

Not everyone is a pessimist, sometimes we just have bad days. Here are a few telltale signs that will let you know if you are being pessimistic or not.

  • You always think, “what if it doesn’t work out rather than what if it does?”
  • You don’t get shocked when things go wrong.
  • You easily give up.
  • You expect to get bad news.
  • Sometimes, you may be selfish.
  • You find it difficult to forgive.
  • You get annoyed by optimists.
  • You engage in negative self-talk.

If all or some of these signs resonate strongly with you, then it may be that you are a pessimist. Don’t worry, you can still change this.

Below are ten ways you can stop being pessimistic. Do remember that these are not one time solutions. These are small habits you need to inculcate in your everyday life.

Once you start incorporating them, they will become inherent, and being more positive will become like breathing.

1. Replace Every Negative Thought With a Positive One

The next time you catch yourself thinking negatively or even just thinking some mind-boggling thoughts, stop there and replace that with a positive thought. It can be anything. Think of anything that makes you happy and adds value to your life.

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This is essential because we have the power to rewire our brains even if many of us don’t realize it. When you constantly replace pessimism with optimism, you will rewire your brain to think more positively.

The result of this? Thinking positively will be second nature to you!

2. Make a Gratitude List

When you focus on things you have rather than what you lack, you create abundance in your life. Sometimes, we take the little things in life for granted and this is where pessimism comes from.

We don’t appreciate everything enough and this creates a negative attitude. Being optimistic is all about changing the lens through which you view the world.

Focus on what you have by making a gratitude list. Every day, write about five things you are thankful for in life. This will help you to keep things positive as you will focus on what you do have, and it’ll help stop you from being pessimistic.

3. Stop Seeing Setbacks as Failures

We tend to amplify setbacks in life by thinking that they are the end of the world. Everyone faces obstacles. They are part of the package deal that we call life. However, it is important to keep your perception clear.

See your setbacks for what they are. Life is a learning process and they are there to help you grow. Learn from them and do better next time.

When you feel like giving up altogether think about how you can learn from it? What is the bright side of it? How can you do things differently to get the outcome you need?

These are the questions you need to ask yourself so you can deal with setbacks in a much better way.

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4. Do Good Things for Others

Your pessimistic mindset can only be replaced with positive thoughts. Do you know what will help you feel positive and stop being pessimistic? Being kind and doing good for other people.

If you think the world needs repair, then be the change to help repair it. Smile at someone to make their day, leave a good tip for your waiter, offer to hold groceries for an elderly, or compliment a stranger.

These little things count. They help others and they help you because your soul feels joy when you do good for others.

5. Find an Outlet to Release Negativity

You automatically channel your thoughts into actions. This is why if you have negative thoughts, you can channel it into doing something that releases that negative energy.

You can take up painting, drawing, kickboxing, or anything that brings you joy and helps release pent-up energy. The outlet you find is up to you!

6. Speak to Yourself the Way You Would Speak to Your Loved Ones

We can be our worst enemies and hinder our progress. Don’t ever speak about yourself negatively. Provide yourself the same compassion you give to someone else because you are worthy of it, too.

One great way to start speaking to yourself positively is by having positive affirmations around you. Find some things that resonate with you and keep them around the house as a reminder. This way, you will be able to easily feel more positive.

7. Don’t Label Yourself as a Pessimist

If you want to stop being pessimistic, then don’t label yourself as one. Don’t ever put yourself in a box.

When we label ourselves, we are putting a limitation on ourselves. The label then defines us and we do everything according to that definition. If you label yourself as a pessimist, then you will keep thinking and doing things in a way a pessimist would.

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Remove this label and look beyond it. You are just a human who has both good days and bad days. All of us do. What you make of those days is completely up to you because you have the power even if you have forgotten it.

Get rid of the label and stop putting yourself in a box. You can be anything you want, even an optimist!

8. Have People Around You That Provide You With Positive Energy

Like attracts like. If you think of yourself as a pessimist and you have people around you that also think alike, then it is time to get rid of them. Yes, that may be hard, but it is something you need to do.

If you want to move forward in life, then you need to get rid of people and habits that don’t serve you. If the people around you add to the negativity, then find new people that are more positive.

The company you keep influences you, and when you surround yourself with positive people and optimists, then you will also start thinking that way. Let go of all the negative energy that doesn’t serve you and see how beautiful your life becomes.

9. Find Someone You Can Vent To

Sometimes, all we need is someone to listen to us and understand. It is important to have a person in your life that provides you with a source to share your thoughts. We can stop being pessimistic if we can find someone we can vent to.

You can vent, share your negative thoughts, and let it all out. This can be anyone. You can either vent to a close friend whom you trust or find a therapist.

The important thing is to have someone to listen to you. This will help you in taking off a burden. You will feel light and you will get a fresh perspective on things. This will give you the drive to do better and take charge of your life.

10. Include Movement in Your Life

Movement also gets rid of the energy that we have built up for long. A great way to get rid of negative energy is to work out. It can be as short as a fifteen-minute workout. You just need to move your body to release that energy.

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Your tensions, negativity, pessimism, and stress will be released. Your mind will become more focused and driven. You will take your mind off from all the negative thoughts that don’t serve you.

Even if you don’t feel like working out, try going for a walk or run. Being out in the open in the fresh air can do wonders for your attitude. It will also help you feel more positive.

Our bodies store our emotions, so shed those negative emotions through the wonders of movement. It doesn’t matter what kind it is. All you need to do is move!

Final Thoughts

We all have an individual lens through which we look at the world. Sometimes, that lens can be distorted and no longer serve us. It is important to recognize these patterns and be serious about making a change in your life when you come to this realization.

These ten ways will help you move forward in life. They will help you break all negative patterns so you can stop being pessimistic and finally live a life full of positivity. Stop hindering your growth and progress.

Start making these changes now, and see how your life changes for the better. The first step is always the hardest, but it is one you need to take.

More Tips on How to Stop Being Pessimistic

Featured photo credit: Wes Hicks via unsplash.com

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Doron Hafner

Entrepreneur, Personal and Business coach

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary
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When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Learn how to boost your confidence: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

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So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

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Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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