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Published on June 17, 2020

6 Ways to Care For Your Aging Parents From a Distance

6 Ways to Care For Your Aging Parents From a Distance

Are you struggling with how to care for aging parents while being a full time mom, dad, or employee?

Balancing your own responsibilities while caring for your parents can be a monumental challenge. Perhaps you live in another city, you’re spread too thin with commitments to your own career or kids, your parents are self-isolating, or you just don’t get along.

Regardless of the reason, there are a host of new technologies that are revolutionizing caregiving, allowing you to ensure your parents safety, health, and happiness without having to be physically present. A win-win for all!

1. Stay Connected

As our parents get older, many lose their best friends, family, and loved ones to age, leaving them exposed to the dangers of isolation and loneliness[1]. Fortunately, it’s never been easier, or cheaper, to stay connected from afar. Whether through phone, text, or video, you can speak with your parents every day, no matter where you are.

You can even use video chat to involve your parents in family activities. For example, you can have your parents read a bed time story to your kids every night, do a toast at dinner time, or let them watch your kids at their soccer game. The possibilities are endless.

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You should also use that time to visually monitor your parents for changes in their appearance, mood, or behavior. Do they look sad, anxious, or tired when they normally wouldn’t? Are they getting dressed, combing their hair, etc.? Any significant changes should be investigated further.

2. Set up Deliveries

As our parents age, many will lose the ability to drive or have mobility or vision issues, making shopping on their own virtually impossible. Making sure your parents have groceries, meals, medications, and household items is critical. In the past, you’d have to go shopping for your parents, maybe even cook them their meals if they couldn’t do it themselves. Now, you can simply set up delivery.

To help ease the burden of shopping for your parents, set up home delivery for their groceries. You can do the same for their medications from their local or online pharmacy and make sure they come sorted by day in convenient pill packs. If your parents have trouble making their own hot meals, look for the local Meals on Wheels[2] in your area and see if they can deliver prepared meals to your parents’ doorstep.

3. Organize Access to Help

Falls are the number one cause of injuries[3] to older adults. They cause more fatalities, head trauma, and broken hips than any other source of injury. Knowing your parents can get help, even when they’re injured and alone, is key to their independence and your peace of mind.

Older adults can now access life alert systems[4] that protect them in and outside their home, use GPS, and have automatic fall detection. They can wear a pendent around the neck, on their wrist, or integrate the technology into a smartwatch. Other technologies don’t require you to wear anything at all and have wall mounted devices that monitor movements, or lack thereof, in your home.

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Regardless of the technology, it’s easy to offer your parents access to help in the event of a fall or medical emergency to protect them in case of an accident in the shower, on the stairs, or in their garden.

4. Install Home Security

Seniors tend to be more vulnerable to theft, abuse, and exploitation than the rest of the population. Social isolation, cognitive decline, impaired mobility, poor vision, and increased trustworthiness[5] all tend to make older adults prime targets, not only from strangers, but even more so from caregivers and family members.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do to keep a watchful eye over those coming into contact with your parents. First of all, you can install a video doorbell. Doing so will allow you to see who’s at your parents’ door and when. In fact, you can set it up so you can talk to them from the intercom before they enter, and you can be the one to unlock the door.

You can also install video cams with microphones inside the house. This will allow you to monitor those who might be taking care of your parents or entering their home. You can see if your parents are being treated properly, talked to respectfully, and being paid attention to. You should even make the cameras visible to act as a deterrent to nefarious behavior.

Lastly, you can add a home security system, which you can arm and disarm remotely from your phone, to ensure your parents and their valuables are protected from home intruders.

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5. Consider Smart Home Management

Remember those days when seniors had trouble using the TV remote, thermostat, radio, or telephone key pad? Those days are long gone.

As seniors age, poor vision, mobility, and manual dexterity can make many routine tasks become anything but routine. Fortunately, many new smart home technologies, like digital voice assistants (Amazon Alexa or Google Home, for example), are dramatically facilitating routine tasks.

For example, seniors with poor visibility can now turn on their TV and change channels from the digital voice assistant. Your parents can also call you with a simple voice command without having to fumble through a phone book or tiny keypad. Not only that, but they can also control the temperature, lights, locks, and radio all by voice command. All of those functionalities can make living independently at home much easier for your parents.

6. Provide Assistive Devices

Many seniors move out of their homes because they outgrow them. Instead, try helping your parents by having their homes adapt to their needs. There are a slew of devices[6] that can really help them avoid injury and make life a lot easier as they age in their homes.

Perhaps one of the most important is the addition of grab bars in the shower, bath, and by the toilets. We can all slip getting in and out of the tub, and having a grab bar nearby can literally be a life saver for seniors.

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Other helpful aids include motion-sensing water taps (great for those with arthritis and memory impairment because they automatically shut off), bidet toilets (ensures proper hygiene and helps those who have trouble reaching, and dramatically reduces UTI’s), and a shower chair (makes it easier to clean all body parts).

Final Thoughts

You can see that even if you live in another city, or you’re at work or taking care of your own kids, there are still plenty of great ways to care for your parents’ health, safety, and happiness.

While nothing can replace a hug, a kiss, or breaking bread with mom and dad, sometimes it’s just not possible. Technologies are revolutionizing how we’re able to care for and interact with our parents. Perhaps most importantly, it’s also giving them the ability to remain in their own homes far longer than in the past while maintaining their dignity and independence.

More Tips on How to Care for Aging Parents

Featured photo credit: LOGAN WEAVER via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] National Institute on Aging: Social isolation, loneliness in older people pose health risks
[2] Meals on Wheels America: Find a Meals on Wheels Provider Near You
[3] CDC: Important Facts about Falls
[4] Senior Safety Reviews: Life Alert Cost Comparison and Review
[5] Scientific American: Why Older Adults Are Too Trusting
[6] Seniorlink Blog: Home Modifications for Aging in Place

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Marc Felgar

Marc Felgar is an aging, health & senior care expert focused on improving the lives of mature adults.

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Last Updated on October 20, 2020

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future. Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

Bonus: Think Like a Rhino

More Tips for Procrastinators to Start Taking Action

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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