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Last Updated on August 7, 2019

Nothing Makes You Happy: Here’s Why and What to Do

Nothing Makes You Happy: Here’s Why and What to Do

If you’re thinking “Nothing makes me happy any more…” I want to ask you a powerful question first:

What do you want at the end of your life?

Picture yourself in this moment and decide how you want to feel, the legacy you want to leave, and the memories you have to look back on.

Are you exhausted – having lived a stressful life?

Putting happiness and joy off for the weekends, vacations, and retirement. You got through each day just to get to the next one. You rushed through life, wishing for the future, forgetting to enjoy the precious moments in the present. You waited for the money to come and in return you worked a job you hated. You would be secure and happy when the right time came. You waited to travel because you couldn’t take the time off.

Life was too busy to create new memories with friends. You forgot that enjoyment was for the present moment and you never took care of your own needs. In each moment you put your happiness off for the future and now, the future is here and you are left tired, regretful, and unfulfilled.

OR

Are you feeling exhilarated, satisfied, excited, and joyful – having lived life on YOUR terms?

You learned the art and mindset of happiness early on and made the decision to enjoy each of your moments and not put this precious time off. You realized that the happiness mindset evokes a spectacular energy which magnetizes positive emotions along with events. Abundance, wealth, happiness, and excitement followed you everywhere you went. You chose to put self-care first to cultivate fulfillment in each of your moments and you stopped putting your health and happiness off.

You got real with yourself, developed clarity, and chose what was in the best interest for you. In return, you lived a satisfying life, having meaningful relationships, you left a mark in this world, and your energy trickles down to the generations that follow.

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

Each and every one of us are faced with the decision in each moment of our lives. We have to decide in each moment what we want at the end of our life – exhaustion or exhilaration?

We sometimes forget how quickly each moment adds up until too much time has passed and we can’t get it back. Time is a priceless entity and each moment is unique – it will never come again.

You can gain and lose money, friendships, jobs, materials but you can NEVER get a moment back. Each moment comes with a choice – to enjoy, find the lesson, the laughter, the happiness OR to whine, complain, feel frustrated, irritated, and unfulfilled.

We all have the choice of what our life looks like and the choice lies in our reactions to the events and moments in our lives. We can either choose exhaustion or exhilaration.

When we let the negativity take over, then we are left weak and exhausted. However, when we choose the positive reaction then we are left with strength, energy, and knowledge with the best way to proceed.

How Do You Want to Feel at the End of Your Life?

I have asked many people this same question over the years and almost every single person admits that they want to feel excited and exhilarated – everyone wants happiness.

In fact, there is a whole book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, published in regards to the top regrets of the dying on how these individuals wished they had followed the happy path.

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However, the majority of the people that I have asked this question to include this vicious word… BUT.

When I hear this word, I wince. As soon as I hear this word, I know that the person that I am talking to has not mastered the mindset of happiness and they need support.

The word “but” is equivalent to an excuse to why this person isn’t enjoying their life and why they can’t choose happiness today. BUT means they are choosing to put their happiness off to the future.

This excuse is their story of where they came from, the bad things that have happened to them, what they don’t have now, and all of the demands that are boggling them down.

We all have a story but we also have a choice.

I have yet to meet someone without a story – someone who has glided through life without a scratch. A story wouldn’t be good without conflicts, right?

Some of the happiest people are the ones with the most horrendous story; however, they decided that they wanted to feel excited and exhilarated at the end of their lives over anything else.

Their end goal is happiness and that’s what they choose in every moment – no matter what the moment might entail.

Decide TODAY what your outcome is – what do you want for your life? What do you want for tomorrow? How are you going to get the results that you crave?

We all have greatness inside of us and we all have the ability to choose happiness over the negativity. The first step to getting happy is recognizing your warning signs – the reactions that you give may be a clue that you aren’t living your happiest life.

Warning Signs That You May Be Unhappy

Are you WOEFUL? This is an acronym for what unhappiness might look and feel like. These are your warning signs – a way that you can quickly identify that something is not right:

  • W– Whiney
  • O– Out of Control
  • E– Expectations
  • F– Fear
  • U– Unfulfilled
  • L– Limitations

Whiney

Do you whine, complain, grumble, criticize? Of course you do! Everybody does this to some degree. However, this shouldn’t be normal for you this should only serve as a warning sign.

Complaints are a great thing if we can use them as a tool to acknowledge that we are heading down the wrong path. However, when complaining becomes a habit for us then unhappiness soon follows.

It means that we are continuing to engage in activities that do not serve us, we continue to surround ourselves with the people who aren’t bringing out the best in us, and we are allowing the negativity to control our reactions. Whatever it is that you are whining about needs to be acknowledged, evaluated, and changed.

Most of the time, we think that the world needs to change for us so that we can be happy – this mindset is unrealistic. We can never change the people, things, and circumstances in our lives. The only thing that we have control over is ourselves. We have the ability to change what we do, when we do it, who we surround ourselves with, and how we react.

If you find that you are complaining about something – how can you change it or how can you alter your reaction? The next time that you complain – be thankful for this warning sign. Identify why you are feeling upset and make a plan to change it. Follow your smile not your complaint.

Out of Control

Do you feel out of control? Are you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, unclear, and/or uncertain? If you have any of these emotions, then this is your warning sign that you need to gain clarity, focus, and alignment.

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We have all had moments in our life that have felt out of control – maybe saying yes one too many times – allowing our obligations to gain control over our focus. When the to do list takes over, we often times lose sight of our end goal which separates us from our outcome.

When you begin feeling these emotions and spiraling out of control, it might be a good time to gain focus and clarity. Ask yourself what your end goal is and realign your focus, habits, and reactions to get you closer to the result you desire.

What are the things you are engaging in that are getting you closer to your goals? What are the things that feel good, right, and get you excited? Who are the people that make you feel the best about yourself?

On the contrary, what are you doing that gives you negative emotions? Are there people in your life who are bringing out the weaker side of you?

It is so important to identify the emotion, acknowledge the warning side, and make a change. Continuing to spiral out of control is a recipe for disaster and unhappiness will accompany you on that journey.

Expectations

Do you let expectations control your happiness? Do you feel as if things are expected of you? Do you let other people’s way of thinking control your own actions? Do you feel like someone else is making the decisions for your life and in return you are unhappy?

First evaluate who is setting the expectations in your life and ask if these expectations are aligned with your end goal. Sometimes, it’s easy to confuse self-aligned expectations with the expectations you think others have for you.

Live up to what you believe in and follow the path that brings you closer to your own aspirations. It’s easy to try and make others happy; however, it can leave us feeling unfulfilled and confused about where we are meant to go.

Become clear on the expectations that are important to you and don’t clutter your mind with others’ views on the world (unless of course they are similar to your own).

Fear

Do you put things off because you are fearful of what might happen? Are you scared of the unknown? Have you let failures hold you back from potential successes? Do you aspire for more but let the comfort of the familiar keep you where you are?

Fear is a natural instinct that is essential to life – keeping us safe from catastrophic events. Our mind and body have an instinctual way of remembering close calls and past traumas and try their best to keep us out of sticky situations.

However, if we are not good evaluators – we might be letting our minds talk us out of opportunities of growth and we might stay in comfort too long because of perceived fear.

When the fear emotions present themselves, when you feel like you are holding back or talking yourself out of something ask yourself why that is. Why am I saying no to this opportunity? Is this just an excuse to keep me in my comfort zone? Is this decision aligned with my desired outcome?

Unfulfilled

Are you bored, uninterested, tired, unfulfilled? At the end of the day, do you feel a void or emptiness inside?

When we have these emotions, we are typically on autopilot and we are not growing. Identify the areas in your life that are no longer exciting. These are the areas that are just going through the motions without any effort involved.

Are you unfulfilled at work, home, in your relationships, and/or with your body? Identify the areas that need some care.

Pay attention to when you feel a spark – that jolt of energy that releases the endorphins that bring you joy. Try and follow that path and pick up that energy as often as possible. Bring it to every area in your life.

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When we follow our spark, a light ignites inside of us and we become inspired and motivated. Who are the people that drain you? Who are the ones that give you energy – who are the people who make you feel like you just drank a cup of coffee? Those are the people you want to surround yourself with.

Pick an area in your life that feels drained and find a way to bring a light and spark to it. Feeling fulfilled in each area of our life is an important aspect to living a happy life.

Limitations

Are you filled with limitations, boundaries, and restrictions? What are your limiting beliefs?

Limitations include assumptions and predictions based off of past failures and events. Are you allowing these limitations to hold you back from what you truly desire? You don’t have enough time, money, or resources?

Start acknowledging where you set boundaries and begin to question why you have built walls in these areas.

Could you start demolishing your old mindset and asking questions to lower your guard? Boundaries are important to protect us but are there any up that no longer need to be there? Can we find support in our limiting areas to overcome our fears and grow in these areas?

How to Use WOEFUL to Become Happy

The whole key to happiness is identifying our emotions and reactions, and aligning them with our end goal. When you become really good at noticing your emotions and reactions, you can quickly change your attitude and circumstances so that you put yourself in a place where happiness lives.

We have to gain control through identification and awareness to choose happiness on a moment to moment basis. We can’t use the excuse of “It just is the way it is.” It truly can be the opposite if we take charge of our own lives.

Life can be what we want it to be if we can start to become aware of our warning signs and take actionable steps to become happy – making decisions based off of our end desire.

HAPPY is an acronym for the steps to take to encourage the happy path – to shed the woes and build a better life for yourself with happiness in the center:

  • H – Hunger
  • A – Aspirations
  • P – Perspective
  • P – Power
  • Y – You

Hunger

First and foremost, what are you hungry for? What lights a spark inside of you – what motivates you? Who inspires you?

When we are excited, motivated, and inspired, we are at our best.

People want to surround themselves with people who make them feel good. Positive energy brings about more positivity. When you begin aligning your actions and reactions with your end goal, then you will be engaging in the habits that will bring you a lifetime of joy.

Too often we give up on our dreams because we fall back into comfort. We need to keep our driving force in the forefront of our focus – what is it that you want at the end of your life? Do you want to be strong, enthusiastic, and happy or do you want to be weak, exhausted, and miserable?

Stop pushing what you’re truly hungry for away. Bring it close to you and you will live a happy-centered life.

Aspirations

When you identify your hunger and your dreams, then begin to set goals that will get you closer to your aspirations. Set goals each day, every hour if you need to.

When you make your list of what needs done, then get out your calendar and carve out time for your goals FIRST.

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Stop letting the to do list run your life – let happiness drive your schedule and then find time for everything else. If you do what is in alignment with your happiness first, then everything else will fall into place and you will be in a better mood completing the rest of your daily tasks.

Too many times we let everything and everyone run our life, putting happiness off for another time. I am sure if you are reading this, then you are familiar with this concept.

Stop putting off your happiness today and begin thinking about how you want to look and feel at the end of your life. That will put your moments into perspective for you.

Perspective

What is your current belief system and how are your thoughts hindering your ability to achieve your goals and aspirations?

Most people are not very good at identifying their WOES and because of this, they are unable to make progress in their life.

Often times, we can get the outcome we desire if we have the ability to change our mindset and alter our perception. When we make this alteration, we move around the circumstances we thought were once immobile, and then we find a path to the solution that we desire.

Change your perception to get your end result. Question your belief system – are your thoughts your own or someone else’s? Are these thoughts helping you achieve your goals or are they hindering your progress? Make these identifications and then alter your perception to get what you want from life – happiness.

If you are having difficulty changing your perception and developing a positive mindset, then a step-by-step guide to cultivating a positive mindset might be beneficial:

How to Cultivate a Positive Mindset (A Step-By-Step Guide)

Power

You have control over how you think, feel, and your end result. Be deliberate. Direct your thoughts to align with how you want to feel at the end of your life.

You already have the ability to be successful, to be happy and fulfilled. You must allow yourself to have the power in your own life. Give up the belief system that life is happening to you, and that circumstances are controlling your life.

When we gain control and hold the power of our own lives, we can envision our future and create anything that we want. What are you seeing – Exhaustion or Energy?

You

This is YOUR life! This is not your parent’s life, your boss’s life, your kid’s life or your spouse’s life. This is YOUR life and you are the only one who knows what drives your spark and what brings you true joy. Nobody else can tell you how you feel and what to do with your own life.

The only choice that you need to make is to choose the happy path. The only way that we can live in a better world is if each of us chooses to put our true necessity first and that is joy.

The decisions you are making today and tomorrow are creating your future and your end product. Self-care is not selfish, it is essential to living the best life for yourself and everyone that you meet.

How do you want to feel at the end of your life? Decide it now and in every moment from here on out. Are you exhausted or are you exhilarated?

The Bottom Line

The best way to get HAPPY is to identify your warning signs. Acknowledge your reactions and monitor your feelings and emotions, then take action!

Make the choice to living a happy-centered life. Enjoyment and exhilaration should be the life that you desire today and tomorrow – it should be your end goal.

More Resources About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Alicia Jones via unsplash.com

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Jacqueline Battaglia

Growth Coach, Blogger, and Creator of Life is Duck Soup. My approach will help you get to your next potential level, follow your HAPPY path and enjoy each moment fully.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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