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Published on September 17, 2018

10 Popular Myths About Right Brain Left Brain Debunked

10 Popular Myths About Right Brain Left Brain Debunked

Want to learn how to master your brain and navigate effortlessly away from the common mix-ups most people have?

Then you’re in the right place.

I’m going to expose the 10 biggest myths about the brain, including ones you hear about being a “right brain or left brain” person.

And for each one, you’ll learn some proven ways to counter them too.

So without further ado, let’s do this!

Myth #1: Believing you’re either a “left or right brain” person

Chances are, once upon a time, during your happy musings on the internet, you came across the idea of the right brain left brain.

This is the myth that you’re either a logical facts driven person (left brain), or you’re a intuitive, arts and imagination type person (right brain).

It’s not true.

Your brain is a very intricate and complex organ. Despite decades of research and study, the brain is something that we still know relatively little about.

Even so, just google “right brain left brain characteristics” and you’re bombarded with pages and pages of results. Each one claiming to tell you which one you are.

This left brain right brain idea originated back in the 1960s, as a result of research done by Roger W. Sperry.[1]

It’s well known that the right and left sides of our brains are different, but can we group people into the left brain people and the right brain people? Is it that simple?

A team of neuroscientists at the University of Utah spent two years testing this out, studying over 1,000 people’s brains to see if it was indeed true. What their research revealed, was that both sides were more or less equal in their activity on average.

“Language tends to be on the left, attention more on the right. But people don’t tend to have a stronger left- or right-sided brain network. It seems to be determined more connection by connection.”  – Dr. Jeff Anderson (lead author)[2]

So be careful when surfing the interwebs. The self proclaimed brain messiah’s aren’t always doing their research, and whilst graphics like above seem cool, they aren’t very accurate. You don’t belong in a box of left brain or right brain.

Lesson:

People aren’t either logical or creative. You can be both.

Don’t limit your thinking and capabilities by believing this myth. You get better at what you work at.

Myth #2: Believing you’re hardwired for happiness

Many people I’ve coached over the years demonstrate this crippling flaw:

We tend to think of our problems, worries, etc. as something unique to us. We mistakenly believe that we are unique in this way.

However, let me reveal something to you having worked with tens of THOUSANDS people from around the world. Something which may surprise you.

Our mental biases and flaws are quite common. We tend to make very similar mistakes.

Instead of personalizing all your problems and over identifying with them. What if you saw the challenges you face as problems created by the brain generally, instead of something you are doing?

Think of it this way:

Imagine you have a faulty mobile phone that can only operate for 2 hours at 100% capacity at a time. Then it needs a short break.

Now, you could view this as a problem with your specific mobile, and get angry and frustrated that you had such bad luck.

Or perhaps, realize the truth.

What if it was just a manufacturing fault? But one you can’t “fix” immediately by going to the Apple Store because it was built two million years ago for a different environment.

Obviously I’m simplifying things a little (Ok, a lot). However the point I’m making is simple:

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Your problems aren’t unique. We all suffer from them. So plan for the common pitfalls so you can avoid them.

“We have a two million-year-old brain that isn’t designed to be happy, but to survive.”  — Tony Robbins

As the above quote so beautifully summarizes, your brain is designed to help you to survive first and foremost. This mechanism is both deep and complex.

In my work, we often identify these subconscious patterns and make sure they’re running in alignment to the specific goal you desire to achieve.

Something which most people are totally unaware or uninterested in discovering, so they are doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again no matter how hard they try.

These “software faults” are ones we all experience from time to time:

  • Not feeling motivated to go to the gym
  • Not feeling confident about starting a new project or idea
  • Being randomly affected by weird moods or feelings

But the difference between those who succeed, and those who dabble and get frustrated is simple:

Working on our weak areas consistently and planning for them.

Lesson:

Think of your brain like an old computer, full of some common bugs and viruses we all contend with.

Accept these flaws, learn about how they manifest themselves for you in particular, then work on improving them so you can perform better.

Myth #3: Believing your personality traits are fixed

You have personality traits (often from childhood) that (for most) won’t change.

But before you get demoralized and reach for that jar of chocolate chip cookies again, that doesn’t mean that you CAN’T change.

It just takes work.

Realistically, most people still won’t change their personalities for two reasons:

  • They like the safe, comfortable option of staying the same (let’s face it – it’s quite easy)
  • They don’t know they can change

Fortunately for you, we’ve already dispelled the idea that you cannot change your personality traits. So you’re immediately ahead of most people.

There are so many different theories and ideas about what your personality is, how we can measure it and how it comes to be.

The general consensus is that it’s shaped in the early years of our lives and (generally) stays stable over time.

The most widely accepted is something known as the “Five Factor Model”, stating that there are five basic personality traits that can define us: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

These traits shape and influence how we react to different experiences and events in our lifetime.

But here’s the thing:

Defining events, traumatic experiences can all trigger changes in who we are, and how we are.

One of the latest study integrating 14 longitudinal studies that gathered information about people’s personalities, found that from the Big Five personality traits — all of them showed major fluctuations across individual participants’ lives.[3]

Lesson:

The best way to think of your personality is like a mould of clay. It’s already in a rough shape, hardening over time. But you can work to change and adjust it.

Myth #4: Believing you only use 10% of your brain

This myth is simply not true. If I cut 90% of your brain out, would you still function?

No!

Imagine that what is known about our brains is like the volume inside a balloon.

Imagine that what is unknown is the infinite space outside of the balloon.

The surface of the balloon, the interface between the known and the unknown, represents questions. The larger the volume inside the balloon, the larger the balloon surface.

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The more we know, the more questions we have.

It’s simply not true that we only use 10% of our brains.

What’s more accurate is that we don’t always perform to our maximum mental capacities.

Different factors — motivation, environment, overall health, sleep — all exert different levels of influence on how close to 100% we perform at any given time.

So why does this myth exist? Why is it so appealing?

Probably because of the untapped human potential it implies that we have huge pools of dormant mental powers, which if used, could help us achieve so much more.

Lesson:

We don’t just use 10% of our brains. We use 100% of them.

But not all of us are performing and achieving to our highest standards. Find out what blocks you have and work at improving every day.

Myth #5: Believing that smart people have bigger brains

When it comes to size, we’re obsessed with believing that bigger is better.

The simple fact is that a bigger brain has no ultimate bearing or indication on our intelligence.

A very easy way to debunk this myth is to look at the animal kingdom. A cow has a bigger brain than a chimpanzee. But is it smarter?

A whale or an elephant have a bigger brain than a human. But are they smarter?

Many neuroscientists now agree that it isn’t size, but the complexity of neural connections that truly determine a brain’s capacity and potential.

To translate this, it’s not size that matters most. It’s how efficiently different parts of your brain communicate with each other.

Lesson:

It’s not how big your brain is that matters most, but how well the different parts communicate.

Train your brain to connect different ideas, senses, intelligences together and keep learning everyday.

Myth #6: Believing women and men have different brains

Of all the myths here, this perhaps is one of the most damaging.

It sets you up to behave according to a preconceived idea of how you should or shouldn’t behave based on your sex.

Let’s start with what is true.

Yes, there are some very very minor anatomical differences between male and female brains.

However, this difference has never been linked to a difference in ability. What we do know, is that any distinction which is created is the by product of our own cultural conditioning.

If there is a difference, or inequality, it is one created by our society.

A common misconception is that women do better when you test them accordingly to emotional intelligence and empathy. The anatomy of the brain runs counter to this however.

The hippocampus, associated with memory, is typically larger in women, while the amygdala, involved in emotion, is larger in men, which is quite contrary to the myth.

Lesson:

Your sex does not determine what you are fated to be good or bad at. It’s often the result of our cultural conditioning.

Reflect on your own gender biases and avoid stereotyping yourself or others based on this.

Myth #7: Believing you know what makes you happy

This probably surprised you a little, didn’t it?

Deep breaths. Allow me to explain:

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We commonly believe that we know exactly what will make us happy and unhappy.

The truth however is that this isn’t (totally) true. We massively overestimate how happy we think something will make us feel — gifts, promotions, marriages, divorces — you name it.

Even when it comes to money, countless studies have shown that beyond a certain point (around 77,000USD/year), money doesn’t really make us that much happier.

Conversely, the things that we fear and avoid don’t make us as unhappy as we expect.

The commute on a Monday morning is nowhere near as bad as we think, nor is the awkward conversation with an estranged family member or friend.

The most soul crushing tragedies — breakups, losing a loved one — cause us despair and grief, but don’t last as long as we anticipate.

Lesson:

Things are never as bad as they first seem, or as good as they first seem. You’re not that good at predicting how you will feel, or felt about the future or the past.

Myth #8: Believing you lose mental power over time

When we’re young, it’s easier to take risks and try new things to some degree. But as we age, we seek our comfort and routines.

Until eventually, those same patterns and routines become shackles.

Maybe that’s why you haven’t:

  • Stuck to that workout or yoga routine you want to get better at.
  • Finished the book you say you want to write and publish.
  • Started that business idea you’re thinking and talking about so often.

Many people fall into this trap of believing they “lose it” over time, and this mental error quickly sends them on a downward spiral of stagnation and mediocrity.

I want you to realize something:

Your brain and intelligence can get better with age.

So be excited, not demoralized!

It’s well known in business circles for example, that you get better as an entrepreneur as you age. The same is true in so many other fields too.

Of course there are some cognitive skills which decline in efficiency as you age – learning new languages, memorising a list of random words, counting backward by sevens.

But who cares?

Vocabulary, judgement of character, social wisdom, conflict resolution, emotional regulation and finding purpose – these are all skills that matter, which we are proven to get better at over time.

Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?

Well, let me take you a step further.

Not only can you get smarter over time, you can even continue (literally) growing your brain.

A brain which is active, for example learning new languages, trying new skills and hobbies, develops a richer connected network of brain cells. Taking it further, this “brain growth” also helps to prevent dementia and other diseases.

So no, it is not true that your mental decline is inevitable. Quite the opposite, the effects can be stopped and even reversed through mental exercise. The best part is you don’t even need to do it for that long.

In a study of more than 3,000 people aged 65 and over, just 10 hours training over several weeks in memory, problem-solving and decision-making resulted in significant and prolonged increases in cognitive ability.

Lesson:

Spend 10 to 15 minutes daily working on your memory, problem solving and decision making.

One of my favourites (which is a lot of fun) is to play Chess puzzles for free on lichess.com.

Myth #9: Believing there are 5 senses & one measure of intelligence

What if I told you that you don’t have just 5 senses? And school only tested you on one measure of intelligence?

Would you believe me?

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A commonly held belief that most of us have is that we have 5 senses and one type of intelligence.

It’s not your fault either, our entire paradigm of education only ever tests us on one “type” of intelligence” – via exams and essays. When in actuality, there are eight types of intelligence.

Just think:

There’s probably a type of intelligence that you may be a genius in, that you were never even tested on in school.

A comforting thought for those of us who didn’t ace every math or english test.

Additionally, there are not just 5 senses. But six more:

  1. Equilibrioception: A sense of balance, otherwise known as your internal GPS.
  2. Proprioception: A sense of where your body parts are and what they’re doing.
  3. Nociception: A sense of pain.
  4. Thermo(re)ception: A sense of temperature.
  5. Chronoception: A sense of the passage of time.
  6. Interoception: A sense of your internal needs, like hunger, thirst, needing to use the bathroom, etc.

The most fascinating part is that when we contrast this to other species, there are so many more senses we don’t have. Bats and dolphins can use sonar to find prey, sharks can sense electrical fields, and birds and turtles can even orient to the earth’s magnetic fields.

If anything, this displays how much more there is to know that we cannot even comprehend.

Here’s a philosophical quote that builds on this idea, from one of my favourite wise men, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev:

“You are seeking the infinite through the physical. Can the physical ever become infinite? The physical is finite, always within a finite boundary, it can never be infinite. It’s like you are riding a bullock cart but your destination is the moon, and somebody is saying buy yourself a new whip. If your destination is the moon, you need an appropriate vehicle. So through the physical if you are seeking the infinite, there will only be frustration.”

Lesson:

You are more intelligent than you may know. You have more senses than you know. But equally, there are vast oceans of unknowns too that you can’t comprehend.

Keep expanding and learning constantly, don’t rest on the knowledge you have. Strive to unlearn and learn simultaneously. Stay humble.

Myth #10: Believing your memories are accurate

This last myth is quite mind blowing.

What if I told you that your memories are not real? And that each time you access them, the more distorted they become?

If we just take a glance of the various types of biases that the brain has – there are at least 20!

There’re so many different ways in which the brain we have, has small errors or faults built into it.

And here is just one of them:

Every time you access memories, you project your current feelings and mindset onto that memory. As a result, your memory itself changes.

Mind blowing, right?

But how does this help you?

Well each time you look back on an experience, you are changing it. This means you can’t accurately predict or recall how things really were.

Knowing this, how much more important are those seemingly menial things like:

  • Creating a daily journal of what you are thinking, feeling and planning to look back on later.
  • Keeping clear and up to date records of your workout progression.
  • Tracking your to do lists, goals and plans throughly to keep yourself focused.

Lesson:

You aren’t able to recall things as accurately as you might think. So take diligent notes always in everything you do.

From your feelings, hopes and dreams to your day to day budgeting, to-do lists and more. These written records will help you remember things more accurately!

Have you found yourself understand a lot more about your brain? The most popular myths about left brain and right brain are now busted. It’s your turn to really develop your brain’s potential and don’t get restricted by those myths!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Keshav Bhatt

Writer, Social Entrepreneur, Accredited Life Coach & NLP Practitioner

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Published on November 12, 2018

10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck

10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck

We have all felt stuck at some point in our lives. Perhaps you feel stuck right now.

Maybe you’re feeling a little stuck working on a creative project, like writing an article or painting a piece of art. Perhaps you started a new business, took on a major project at work or began a new health or fitness regimen.

Your initial excitement has worn off and you’re now feeling stuck, confused or overwhelmed by how to keep progressing forward. Or maybe, you’re a lot stuck. You feel trapped in a job you hate, a relationship that isn’t working, a boatload of debt, or a life that has little resemblance to the one you’d imagined.

Let’s be honest. Regardless of how stuck you are, it’s a terrible feeling. Feeling trapped and unsure how to move forward can lead to feelings of, confusion, angst, hopelessness, insecurity and overwhelm.

Sometimes we just want to throw in the towel and give up. But don’t give up just yet.

Whether you feel just a ‘little stuck’ or like you’re stuck in dry concrete; trying to make a small or big decision; wondering what you’re doing with your life), feeling trapped in a job, overwhelmed by debt, unhappy in a relationship or life that isn’t the one you want to live, these 10 strategies can help you move forward again.

1. Take a step back

Your first step forward when you feel stuck is to take a step back. Often, we try to get unstuck by pushing forward with sheer force or just trying harder. But as Einstein said,

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Access a different level of thinking by assessing your current situation from a new viewpoint. Whenever I’m working with clients who feel stuck, this is the first thing I ask them to do.

I have them think about where they are, what got them here and what they really want. When you step back from your life, career, and challenges and look from a bit of a distance, you see things from a different perspective.

Your Turn:

Imagine you are lost in the woods. You could keep moving forward looking for your way out. You could panic and go in circles. You could head back the way you came. You could, as I learned in camp, just sit still until help arrives.

Imagine instead that you could stop, take a deep breath and zoom out from your situation. Imagine you could fly above it all as if you were in a helicopter and look down at yourself among the trees.

What could you see or notice differently from this perspective – a different route, people there to support you, the way out is closer than you thought?

Another way to ‘zoom out’ is to look at your situation as a neutral observer. Imagine you’re a fly on the wall watching your life. What insights or advice would you give yourself?[1]

2. Get specific

It’s hard to move forward until you fully understand why you are stuck. You have to get specific and identify what’s really going on. You must name it to tame it.

A great mentor of mine once said,

“A well-defined problem presents its own solution”.

If you want to find a solution, you must truly understand the underlying problem. This is one of the premises of coaching. When you dig a little deeper to the real issue/challenge/blockage, solutions tend to present themselves.

For example, there are big differences between, ‘I feel stuck’ and ‘I feel stuck because I’m overwhelmed with the details’ or ‘I feel stuck because I’m worried what people are going to think of me.’ Once you name it, you are more likely to be able to tame it.

One of the most important questions I ask clients is, ‘What’s getting in the way?’ When they answer, the next question is always, ‘What else?’ We continue along this route until we feel we’ve gotten to the real, underlying issue(s).

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Your Turn:

Seek to uncover the underlying issues that are getting in your way and stopping you from progressing. You can do this by journaling, talking to someone who knows you well, or simply taking the time to ask yourself these questions.

Once you name it, perhaps the solution will then present and tame itself.

3. Reconnect to your ‘why’

Feeling stuck is often because you’ve lost sight of the bigger picture and what’s important. You’ve lost your why.

Why did you start this in the first place? What reasons, values or passions drove you to make this change in your life? What picture do you have for yourself, your business and your life? Why are you wanting to achieve or accomplish this?

By reminding yourself of your original intention and purpose, it gives you the intrinsic motivation to get back on track and move ahead.

Connecting to your deeper ‘why’ will be the fuel that keeps you going, even through tough times and roadblocks.

Your Turn:

Whatever you’re stuck on right now, grab a journal and ask yourself, “Why is this important to me?” ,”Why did I start this in the first place?” “What am I trying to achieve here and why is that important to me? “

4. Brainstorm Your Options

We often feel stuck because we don’t see any way out from our current situation – we feel we don’t have any options.

By brainstorming ideas and possibilities, you expand your mind and open your thinking to finding a new solution. When you can see potential options, you won’t feel so trapped anymore. 

This is not about deciding the one thing or making the right choice, it’s about allowing your creative mind to expand and see all the potential possibilities. We often dive straight into finding the right one and eliminate anything that doesn’t feel perfect.

That’s why so many people feel stuck. They are attempting to find the next right career, the best way to handle a situation or the one perfect idea. This can lead to a lot of stress and analysis paralysis.

The reality is that there is no single best or right. There are many possibilities that could work for your situation. It’s about the next step right now.

If you hate your career, what new potential careers are on your mind? List them all out – even the ones that seem unrealistic or silly.

If you’re unhappy in your relationship, what can you do? There are likely a lot more options than you’ve considered. What are they?

Your Turn:

Make a list of options for your current situation – as crazy or ‘out there’ as they might be.

When you think you’ve thought of everything, ask yourself, ‘What other options are there?’ This allows you to dig deeper and see ideas you might not have otherwise explored.

Then, and only then can you start to identify the way forward.

5. Take a brain break

Full disclosure, I’m stealing this strategy from my 7-year-old daughter’s second-grade teacher.

The other night I was helping my daughter with homework, she was getting super frustrated and wasn’t sure what to write in a letter to her big buddy. She was on the verge of tears when she looked up and asked, ‘Mom, can I take a brain break?’ She got up from the table, walked downstairs to her room and played with her stuffed animals. When she came upstairs a short time later, she was as happy as could be and jumped right into her writing.

We could all use a brain break when we’re stuck. A chance to shift focus gives our brains a chance for quiet; it takes the pressure off so we can come back with a fresh mind and new perspective.

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When we take a brain break, it refreshes our thinking and helps us discover another solution to a problem or see a situation through a different lens. The brain break actually helps to incubate and process new information.[2]

A great brain break is to do something physical that gets you in flow. Take a hike, a run, a walk around the block. Another well-known brain break is meditation – which has so many proven benefits I can’t even begin to name them all. Try it, it works.

I have one friend who says taking a shower helps her get unstuck. ’Somehow good thoughts come up in that silent space.’

Your Turn:

What kind of brain breaks can you give yourself? Which would be most helpful?  It’s not just for second graders anymore.

6. Let go of what’s not working

Have you ever walked through the mud and had your boot get stuck and your foot fly out? When this happens, you usually have two choices: either put your boot back on and keep plodding through, repeating the frustration as it continually gets stuck, or you can take off that boot and move forward.

The same is true in life. When we get stuck, we often stay in the mud and try to drag our boot along. We keep doing what’s clearly not working. The boot represents limiting beliefs, old habits, or stories you’re telling yourself.

Remember in the movie “UP” when Mr. Fredricksen is trying to get his house to fly? It was too heavy. He had to dump out his belongings until the house was light enough to lift off.

Same is true here; you’ve got to get rid of the emotional baggage you’re carrying so you can move forward and fly.

Take my client *Lucy for example. She was stuck trying to figure out what she wanted next in her life and career. She was having trouble finding a job she was interested in. Through our work together, we uncovered that Lucy had an interesting belief: that having a job and being happy were mutually exclusive.

She believed she couldn’t have a job and be happy at the same time. This meant she was either going to be jobless and joyful or employed and miserable. In order to move forward in her career search, she needed to take off this ‘boot’ and believe she could find a job where she could, in fact, be happy.

Your Turn:

What’s holding you back? An old habit, limiting belief or story you are telling yourself? How can you reframe your thinking in order to change the direction you are headed?

7. Know what you need to get unstuck

We all have a way in which we operate that is unique to us. When you understand how you’re wired, you can understand more specifically what you need to get unstuck. It’s like your own personal formula for moving forward.

For me, I need a crystal-clear picture of what I’m trying to achieve and a big, tangible goal to reach for.  When I don’t have a clear picture of the end result or challenging target I’m trying to hit, I feel stuck and demotivated. 

Here are some common needs: 

Astep-by-step plan, to understand why something is important, deadlines and impending pressure, unconditional encouragement and support, to think things through, connecting to a deeper meaning, freedom, and flexibility, and certainty.

Do you relate to any of these?

Your Turn:

What do you need to get unstuck? If you’re not quite sure, you might want to check out the I.D.™ (Instinctive Drives™). It’s a tool I’ve used for almost 20 years (and have all my clients take). It helps you understand what you need to be at your best, including what will help you get unstuck.

8. Shift your state

When you’re in a stuck state, it actually creates a cycle of ‘stuckness.’ Get yourself out of there!

Instead of placing all your focus and energy on the problem, shift your focus and energy to another area of your life. Go do something that brings you joy; spend time with someone you love.

Do anything to shift your state and mood. This will switch your downward cycle of ‘doom and gloom’ into an upward cycle of ‘hope and possibility’.

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A great way to shift your state is to practice gratitude. So, you hate your job. Practice gratitude for other areas of your life. Does it support your family? Allow you to work remotely?

I’m not saying you should stay in a job you hate, I’m just recommending that you get perspective. A state shift brings energy, hope, and positivity into your mindset…keys to getting out of that dreaded stuck cycle.

Your Turn:

What always puts you in a good mood? What brings you joy, happiness or fulfillment?   Do it! And make sure to practice gratitude. Try this: each morning for the next week, write down three things you are grateful.

9. Take action

Getting into action is critical to getting unstuck. There’s no substitute for momentum. Action enables further action, while inactivity creates inertia, self-doubt, and confusion.

I love this quote from Simon Sinek:

‘If we think of everything we have to do, we feel overwhelmed. If we do the one thing we need to do, we make progress.’

My client *Marcus had just made a career move and was setting out to start his own wellness business. The biggest problem getting in his way? Inertia.

The more he thought about what he was going to do, the bigger the endeavor began to feel. The more he explored the risks, challenges, and his extensive to-do list, the more he felt overwhelmed. He was stuck. 

However, once he took action, starting with quick wins, he gained momentum and was able to move forward and tackle bigger and more challenging steps. Once he broke through his inaction, he was on a roll.

My grandfather always told us: a path leads to a path. We can’t know what the future holds and trying to figure out everything before we start is a recipe for disaster.

Know that a path will lead to a path, a step will lead to the next step, but you have to start walking first. 

Your Turn:

What’s the next step you can take to move forward? Where is there a quick win?

When you think about your first (or next) step, keep it small and achievable to get the momentum going.

10. Reach out for help

This summer, my Dad took his new truck and my twin daughters on a trip to the Oregon sand dunes. Only a few minutes into the adventure, they got really stuck. They tried shoveling sand and getting out on their own, but they couldn’t. Nearly an hour later, (which felt like an eternity stuck in the middle of a pelting sandstorm), a little dune buggy came along. My Dad’s truck was six times its size, but all they needed was a little pull. They hooked up the wench and within minutes, they were free.

We can all use a little help when we’re stuck. This might be talking to a good friend who knows and understands you or reaching out to get advice from someone who’s been in a similar situation to yours.

Maybe it’s hiring a coach who will ask powerful questions to help you see things from a different angle, a therapist who can uncover hidden roadblocks or a consultant to share opinions and experiences.

When you’re on your own, it can feel hopeless, overwhelming and just plain impossible. But, just a little push or pull from someone can quickly change your trajectory.

While this may seem like one of the easiest strategies, it is actually one of the hardest to do. Why? Even though we are biologically wired to help each other, many of us find it challenging to reach out.

There’s a reason for this:[3]

‘Asking for help exposes us to numerous possible social threats, which is why it’s so uncomfortable. It can feel like a tacit admission of weakness, which lowers our status, and can be an invitation for scorn. It creates uncertainty, and invites the possibility of rejection.’

Your Turn:

Who is your dune buggy? Who can you reach out to ask for help right now?

Not ready to reach out to someone just yet? Maybe you can try asking the universe. Some call this prayer, others spiritual guidance,  others faith.  Whatever you call it, reach out to someone, somewhere, somehow…now.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Bonus: When all else fails, be patient

Sometimes when we’re stuck, we just need to practice patience. Patience that the answer is coming; the shift is going to happen. Patience that you’ve done all that you can and now, it’s time to wait and see what comes back to you.

I’m not suggesting you wait for months or years; but sometimes we expect things to change quickly, yet things take time. This is especially true for big life decisions and transitions or when there are others involved, like your relationships or job.

I love the line from Max Ehrmann’s’ Desiderata:

’…whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.’  

Trust the unfolding and know that sometimes it may take a little longer than you’d like.

There’s usually a good reason, even if you can’t see it. Maybe it’s not time to move forward or make changes just yet. Maybe you don’t have all the information you need, and when you do, you’ll quickly make progress. Maybe you’re actually stuck where you need to be right now.

When I was in my most recent major career transition, feeling stuck and wondering if I would ever figure out my next step, this quote from Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu was exactly what I needed:

‘Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?’

Stay strong. Be patient. The more stuck you are, the greater the freedom will feel.

You’re going to be okay. It won’t always be like this. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hang in there and trust the process. Your breakthrough is coming.

Final Thoughts

Which of these strategies feel like they will work best for you and your current stuck situation?

You don’t have to use all of them, it just takes one.

Remember, any movement, momentum or shift will help get you unstuck and moving forward again. Besides, it’s never too late to start things over! Here’s the proof:

How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

Featured photo credit: Michał Parzuchowski via unsplash.com

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