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If You Need to Ask for a Raise You Deserve, Probably You’ve Made This Mistake

If You Need to Ask for a Raise You Deserve, Probably You’ve Made This Mistake

So you put in those long hours, excelled at many projects and earned far more than your keep at the company you work for. Understandably, you now expect the company to reward you for your efforts with a promotion and a long-due raise. And when the company doesn’t really rise up to occasion as we expect it to, many of us lose patience and begin to think of ways as to how to ask for a raise. The only problem being, you really shouldn’t!

Asking for a Raise Is Difficult Because Your Boss Doesn’t Share the Same View With You

We all tend to think highly of ourselves as employees – and feel that we give a lot more than we get in the professional environment we spend half of our lives in. On the flipside, our bosses may feel that we are lacking in some essential quality and even if we work hard at our desk, the company might feel that our current salary justifies the hours we put in.

So the core problem lies in the perception of our work and that of the company’s view of our work. Frankly, if you need to ask for a raise, you are either not as much of a star performer as you thought you were or the company thinks you are lacking in an essential skill.

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Payscale did a recent study and the odds seem to stand against you, even if you know how to ask for a raise. Some 30,000 workers were surveyed and 43% reported that they had indeed asked for a raise but only 44% of them actually got what they had asked for, while 25% did not get a raise at all. 57% did not ask for a raise at all, though 38% of them got one without asking for it.[1]

Being Too Modest Will Make Your Contribution Unseen

Frankly, while the economy is starting to look up – the raises haven’t exactly started to flow out till now. Since the percentage of people asking for raises and actually getting them is not particularly bright, it’s time to concentrate on how to get the company to value you enough to automatically give you a raise – without ever having to think about how to ask for a raise![2]

Remember that being modest does not work in the workplace – if your company does not realize your value, you have to work towards making them see all that you have done and achieved for them, and what more you can do for them as well.[3] Try and work towards the company giving you a raise by itself, rather than you having to ask and negotiate for one… Here are some tricks and tips.[4]

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How to Make Sure You Don’t Have to Ask for a Raise But You Still Get What You Deserve

If You Have Been Appreciated, Ask People to Speak Up on Your Behalf

If you are an awesome worker with a mile-long success list; chances are that your colleagues, counterparts or clients appreciate your work. The next time someone shows you their appreciation, as them to put it in writing to your immediate senior. This way, your boss will always know that you are a star performer.

Reclaim Your Territory Without a War

There might be times when people (read colleagues) take your ideas and turn them into their own, especially in front of the boss. Don’t claim the idea for your own for that will not help your case – instead, present more data and all the research that your colleague wasn’t able to steal from you and turn the spotlight back on you, cleverly.

Make Sure You Are Put in the Spotlight

The next time you are given an opportunity to present in front of the manager or the big boss, research your points as well as you can and try your best to make an impression. Go well-informed and armed with all the answers beforehand – shine in the time you have, the boss shall remember you in good grace, as will the head honchos.

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Word Your Achievements Right

The next time your immediate supervisor wants to know how you spent your week, don’t just list out what you did. Word it differently, to show how you worked for the company’s benefit, and what you have to show for it. For instance, if you reached out to 15 of your clients with a fresh offer – talk about how the clients are responding to it instead of just talking about your e-mail.

Keep Your Boss Updated

Send your boss a weekly or fortnightly mail on what you have achieved or plan to for the next few workdays. Along with letting your boss know that you are working to make the company a more successful one, it also establishes a work record and accomplishment of yours.

Be an Informed Employee

Beyond the necessary skills you need to do your job, make it a point to be better informed about your company’s brands, competitors and all things on the anvil. This will make you a person better equipped to speak up in discussions, talks and meetings and make sure the spotlight is often on you. Anticipate your boss’s needs and questions too – and instead of fumbling for an answer, be ready with answers and if you can, pre-empt the questions as well… So don’t just research on how to ask for a raise, research about the company before.

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Own Up to Your Mistakes

Most workers try to cover up their mistakes, afraid of the repercussions of the same. Stand apart from the crowd – if you know that you have made a mistake, own up to it in front of your boss and also let him or her know the solution that you have worked out to even things over. Ask for any further advice. You may get a cold shoulder for a bit, but your boss will remember that you are an accountable and responsible employee.

Be Proactive in Work and Training

Don’t ask your boss for work or training. Create your opportunities for your work to shine – and join up on some online courses in your free time to further your talent. Just make sure that you casually mention it to your boss if your work didn’t speak up for you…

Make Good Intra & Inter-Departmental Relationships

Being good at work is good but being a team player is even better. All companies appreciate a good worker all the more if he or she is able to successfully cultivate and maintain human relationships within the company and even outside – be it with clients or sister concerns. A smile and a cheerful tone of voice get things done much faster and far more smoothly.

Be Calm & Keep Working

All bosses appreciate a calm and unruffled employee who can truly weather a storm – be it work, a personal crisis, or even just a general instability of the workplace. Let your work talk for you always – and keep your mind and eye on the goal ahead, instead of getting distracted by the various disturbances around. Be the first to chip in, offer an out-of-the-box solution or even those extra man hours if needed. Instead of wondering how to ask for a raise, put your nose to the grinder with a cheerful attitude and come up with innovative solutions every now and then.

Follow these steps long and well enough, and there won’t be a company who wouldn’t automatically give you a good raise for they would want to retain a hard-working, smart-thinking and non-complaining employee like you – who truly knows how to turn things around in his or her favor! That said; if you still end up wondering how to ask for a raise, remember three things: build your case, research pay scales and then research your pitch to smoothly ask for what you deserve.[5]

Reference

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Last Updated on December 2, 2019

How to Develop Mental Toughness And Stay Strong

How to Develop Mental Toughness And Stay Strong

Are you the kind of person who wants to achieve massive success in your life? Do you have the mental toughness to make that happen?

I think we can all agree that no matter your ambitions, achieving success can be difficult; and over time, the daily grind can take a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional energy.

Achievers and high performers from all walks of life face ups and downs along the path to success—they face failure, burnout, discouragement, fatigue, self-limiting beliefs, stress, and so much more.

How do some people continually strive towards their personal goals year after year while others give up on them? How do those people stay strong and persevere when there is so much stacked against them?

Studies now show that mental strength is a critical key to success. If you haven’t read Angela Duckworth’s book Grit, you should. In it, she shows that “the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls ‘grit.’” In other words, mental toughness plays a significant role when it comes to achieving goals.

Sometimes, our goals wear us down and leave us feeling exhausted. Other times, our goals get difficult, and success seems impossible, so we lose hope, become discouraged, and want to quit.

At its core, mental toughness is simply the ability to stick to something when the going gets tough. People with high levels of mental toughness can push beyond these obstacles and forge a path towards success while those with lower levels of mental toughness may abandon their dreams.

Want to know the good news?

No matter who you are, what you’ve been told, or what you currently believe, you can develop the mental toughness you need to be successful.

All you need to do is learn to develop a positive mindset, focus on your why, and utilize the people around you for support.

1. Develop a Positive Mindset

If you’re going to increase your mental toughness, the first thing you have to do is focus on building a strong, positive mindset.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, the average person has 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 95% of those thoughts repeat each day and, on average, 80% of repeated ideas are negative.[1]

That’s roughly 45,600 negative thoughts per day!

Carrying around these negative thoughts is like going on a hike in the mountains with a backpack full of rocks. The hike is hard enough on its own, but having extra junk weighing you down is a recipe for failure.

Sometimes, building mental toughness isn’t as much about building new strength as it is about saving your strength for the right tasks. Wouldn’t it be easier to dump the rocks out of the backpack instead of trying to get strong enough to carry the extra weight?

Absolutely!

But how can we learn to spot those 45,600 negative thoughts and get rid of them? How can we empty our metaphorical backpack?

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Well, it gets a whole lot easier if you know what you’re looking for. Some of the most prominent types of negative thoughts are self-limiting beliefs, all-or-nothing thinking, and dwelling.

Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs

It’s pretty hard to be mentally tough when you’re constantly beating yourself up. Self-limiting beliefs are any beliefs that hold you back in some way. Here are some examples:

“I’m not smart enough to…”

“I don’t have enough experience to…”

“I’ve tried that before, and it didn’t go well, so I must just be bad at…”

When we allow these self-limiting beliefs to flood our minds, negative self-talk runs rampant, and we crowd out our ability to think positively. We’re effectively working against ourselves.

If you want to keep your mind strong on your path to success, you have to overcome the self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back by realizing one key truth: self-limiting beliefs are thoughts, not facts.

When you recognize a self-limiting belief cropping up in your mind, quickly silence it by telling yourself that it’s not true and then back that up with some positive affirmations:

  • “I am smart enough; I may just need to do some more research first.”
  • “I may not have as much experience as someone else, but that’s not going to stop me from trying. I have enough experience to get started. I’ll figure the rest out on the way.”
  • “Just because I failed at this last time doesn’t mean I’m going to fail this time. My past does not dictate my future.”

Get Rid of the All-or-Nothing Thinking

Another form of negative thinking that could be preventing you from building mental toughness is all-or-nothing thinking.

All-or-nothing thinking is the concept of thinking in extremes. You are either a success or a failure. Your performance was totally good or totally awful. If you’re not perfect, then you’re a failure.

But this isn’t true!

If you’re trying to lose 30 pounds and only lost 28, isn’t that still better than not losing any weight at all? I’d say so!

If you allow all-or-nothing thinking to rule your mind, you’ll be on cloud nine when you succeed, but you’ll beat yourself up when you “fail.” Acknowledging the shades of gray in between will allow you to see success more often and it will help you celebrate your smaller wins.

When you recognize an all-or-nothing thought, remember to look for the positive in the situation. What did you gain by trying? What would you have missed out on had you not tried? Could you do better if you were to try again?

Ditch the Dwelling

Self-Limiting Beliefs and All-or-Nothing Thinking can lead to a bad case of dwelling on the negative. If you want to build some mental toughness and keep your mind strong, you have to ditch the dwelling.

Every day, bad things happen to each of us, and while there’s nothing we can do to prevent that, we can control how we react to these situations.

When we dwell on our misfortunes, we waste massive amounts of energy that we could be using to achieve our goals. When this happens, we’re more likely to quit altogether.

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But that doesn’t mean you’re not mentally tough; it just means you’re misusing your energy.

The next time something bad happens, it’s important to allow yourself to feel the disappointment and frustration, but work on reducing the amount of time you dwell on the situation.

Easier said than done, right? Try these:

  1. Call a friend or mentor and talk it through with them. Get some outside perspective on your situation.
  2. Time block your dwelling by allowing yourself to dwell for no more than one hour.
  3. Then, tell yourself to move on, that you’re human, and you’re allowed to make mistakes or experience setbacks.
  4. If all else fails, find a good way to distract yourself until you can calm down and reexamine things with a clear mind.

The faster you can focus on the positives and move past the problem, the quicker you can get back to achieving success in your life.

Be Patient about the Process

No matter which negative thoughts tend to run around your mind, working to replace them with positive thoughts can take time.

Learning to spot self-limiting beliefs, all-or-nothing thinking, or dwelling is one thing, but learning to quiet those thoughts is another thing entirely.

If at first you don’t succeed, don’t fret. Instead, take a deep breath and try again. As you work towards improving your mindfulness and your mental toughness, remember that you’re going to get better with time.

To make things a little easier, it helps to connect with your purpose.

2. Connect with Your Purpose

One of the most critical elements to building mental toughness and keeping a strong and focused mind is having a strong ‘why’ for everything you want to do.

If you set out to achieve a huge goal that you don’t have a ‘why’ for, you’re going to find yourself distracted, discouraged, or disengaged as soon as you experience your first setback.

Think about the last time you were working on a goal or resolution and things weren’t going well, maybe you even wanted to quit. Perhaps you thought you didn’t have enough willpower. Maybe you told yourself that you didn’t have enough discipline.

Here’s the truth: you just didn’t have a strong enough why.

Simon Sinek has been spreading his message “Start with Why” across the globe.[2] In short, he says that:

“Your ‘why’ is the purpose, cause or belief that inspires you.”

One of the biggest drains on your mental energy is pursuing a goal or a task that you don’t have a ‘why’ for. This is when we tend to look for external motivation or question our willpower, but those aren’t the issues.

Often, we set goals because we like the idea of the goal, not the reality of the goal. Without connecting to our why, we can’t intrinsically motivate ourselves to achieve our most challenging goals.

Find Intrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic motivation is our innate desire to do something and it comes when we work towards something that satisfies ourselves above all else—not our parents or our bosses or our teachers.

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Let’s say you think you want to quit smoking because you know it’s bad for you, but you really enjoy smoking. If you don’t truly want to quit smoking, it’s going to be nearly impossible, regardless of your willpower or mental toughness.

But if you want to quit smoking because you just had a baby, and you don’t want your baby growing up around smoke, then that ‘why’ is going to give you intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is far more powerful than sheer stubborn willpower, and it’s far easier to maintain over the long haul.

If you’re trying to develop mental toughness, connecting a why to everything you want to achieve will reduce the effort and energy it will take to achieve those things. Once you’ve found a strong why for all of your goals, you’ll find that you’ll have significantly more energy to pursue your more difficult challenges.

3. Find Strength in Unity

The final aspect of developing mental toughness is embracing the idea that you’re not in this alone. It’s a fact, anyone who’s ever achieved success in anything didn’t do so alone.

Bill Gates didn’t build Microsoft alone. Oprah didn’t build her network by herself. Steve Jobs didn’t invent the iPhone without a team. Michelle Obama didn’t implement the “Let’s Move” campaign on her own.

Behind all of these successful people were countless other people who were there offering support, mentorship, guidance, and encouragement.

If you want to develop unmatched mental toughness, you need to understand that you don’t have to go it alone. Even the toughest Navy Seals have a team backing them up.

If you want to stay strong in your endeavors, you need to build a team of supporters who will step in and back you up when it counts.

Find a Mentor or Committee of Mentors

The benefits of having a great mentor are far too many to list, but to boil it down to the basics, a mentor is someone who will help show you the path to success.

A good mentor will help you discover your greatest strengths, spot and overcome your blind spots, and work through your weaknesses.

If you’re struggling to deal with your internal negativity or with finding your purpose, talk it through with a mentor. Sometimes we lose the forest for the trees, and a mentor can help us take a step back and see the bigger picture.

Here’s how to find the right mentor for yourself: How to Find a Mentor That Will Help You Succeed

Recruit Some Cheerleaders

If you want to stay strong, it never hurts to have a group of personal cheerleaders. Unlike mentors who are going to jump in and help you address your problems, a group of cheerleaders will help keep your spirits up.

Even if you have a strong ‘why’ and a positive mindset, it’s nearly impossible to maintain a positive attitude 100% of the time. It doesn’t make you weak to need some help from time to time. Having a group of people cheering you on will make all the difference in the world.

As you work towards your goals, tell a few close friends about what you’re doing, and when things get tough, tell them about it. And when they give you the pep talk you need, don’t resist their positivity or counter it with your self-limiting beliefs or your all-or-nothing attitude.

Allow their optimism to refill your energy and use that energy to press on.

Form an Accountability Group

Cheerleaders are great, but sometimes we need someone to give us the kick we need to keep going. You might have a strong ‘why’ for running a marathon or losing 30 pounds, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy; and trying to force yourself to follow through is a sure way to tax your mental energy.

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Why not save some of your mental energy by forming an accountability group?

Find a person or a few people who have similar goals, or at the very least, the need for an accountability partner. Then, form an agreement within the group to push each other every day.

Even if your goals aren’t the same, accountability partners are great for giving us the push we need when we need it most.

Regardless of which relationships you choose, sometimes we have to be able to work through things on our own. Mentors, cheerleaders, and accountability partners are a great way for us to combat our naturally negative mindsets, but occasionally we have to be able to pick ourselves back up.

4. Learn to Pick Yourself Back Up After Setbacks

Building a strong mindset and developing mental toughness isn’t easy! Anyone who’s ever achieved massive success knows that obstacles, setbacks, and failure are inevitable, and you’re no different.

As you work on your goals, you’re going to face many ups and downs, but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have mental toughness, willpower, or discipline.

We all struggle. We all fail. It’s what we decide to do after we fail that truly counts.

When you find yourself in a low spot, ask yourself these questions:

  • “Am I being too hard on myself?”
  • “Are negative thoughts such as Self-Limiting Beliefs or All-or-Nothing Thinking distorting my view?”
  • “What’s the positive side of this setback/obstacle/failure?”
  • “Why was this goal important to me? What was my purpose?”
  • “Is this goal still important to me? Do I still have a ‘why’?”
  • “Who can I ask for help? Who can mentor me or cheer me on? Who can help hold me accountable?”

Asking yourself these questions is a great way to check in on your mindset. When we get lost in negative thinking or lose connection to our purpose, it’s far too easy to become discouraged. When we feel discouraged, we start feeling weak, maybe even a little hopeless.

Also, this article provides some useful tips to help you get back on track: How to Deal with Failure and Pick Yourself Back Up

Tying it All Together

Are you still with me? I know I’ve thrown a lot at you, from developing a positive mindset and combatting your internal voice to connecting with purpose and building a committee of mentors. It’s a lot to take it!

But here’s the bottom line:

A crucial part of developing mental toughness is learning to recognize these tendencies and taking action to correct them early on. Developing mental toughness is not about eliminating weakness, but learning how to deal with it and overcome it.

No one is perfect, but when we focus on the right things, we can develop a mental toughness worthy of life’s biggest challenges.

More About Mental Strength

Featured photo credit: Zulmaury Saavedra via unsplash.com

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