Advertising
Advertising

20 Powerful Books to Win You Friends and Influence More People

20 Powerful Books to Win You Friends and Influence More People

Everyone knows communication is key, but every so often, we fail to communicate well on a daily basis. It could be catastrophic if we can’t communicate with others. So how can you and I improve our communication skills to have a significant leg up in all aspects of our lives?

Here is a list of 20 books to turn you into an expert in communication, with books ranging from best-sellers to less popular, hidden gems.

1. The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane

    People typically believe charisma is a trait you are born with. However, it is a skill you can learn. Cabane provides fantastic examples and practical advice anyone can use.

    Who should read this book?

    • Readers looking to improve their charisma.

    What will you learn?

    • The main components of charisma and techniques to improve them.

    “Whenever we use our brain, we fire certain neuronal connections, and the more these connections get used, the stronger they become.” – Olivia Fox Cabane

    2. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek

      In this powerful book, Simon Sinek helps readers identify an individual or organizations purpose… there Why.

      Who should read this book?

      • Readers seeking advice on how to become a great leader.

      What will you learn?

      • How to clearly identify the purpose of your organization.

      “Organizations know what they do, how they do it, but very few know why they do what they do.” – Simon Sinek

      3. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World’s Top Minds by Carmine Gallo

        Gallo uncovered 9 common elements to all TED talks and provides readers advice on how to adopt them. This book provides practical tips to improve your public-speaking skills.

        Who should read this book?

        • Readers who want to become a better public speaker.

        What will you learn?

        • How to improve the format of your speech or presentation, while telling a story that reaches the hearts and minds of your audience.

        “The first step to inspire others is to make sure you’re inspired yourself.” – Carmine Gallo

        4. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson

          An amazing, yet short book. The story revolves around four characters: two mice and two little people living in a maze seeking the one thing that makes them happy… cheese! This book is a metaphor for the things we want most in life and the need for change.

          Who should read this book?

          • Readers seeking knowledge on how to deal with change in life or work.

          What will you learn?

          Advertising

          • That change is the only thing which is constant and why we should look to the future instead of the past.

          “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” – Spencer Johnson

          5. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

            Let’s start our list of well-known books with one of the all-time greats – How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book is one of the most powerful books you can find in attempting to improve your communication skills. Warren Buffett discovered this book as a child and applied the techniques found in this book throughout his life.

            Who should read this book?

            • Readers interested in finding positive ways to influence other people.

            What will you learn?

            • Ways to win people to your mode of thinking.

            “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.” – Dale Carnegie

            6. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni

              The message in this book extends beyond business. Lencioni outlines the root causes (and of course dysfunction) of a team. He provides readers tips on how to effectively identify and beat dysfunction.

              Who should read this book?

              • Leaders seeking ways to identify and manage dysfunction in an organization.

              What will you learn?

              • How to mold a functional team.

              “Trust is knowing that when a team member does push you, they’re doing it because they care about the team.” – Patrick Lencioni

              7. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William L. Ury, and Bruce Patton

                Getting to Yes is a powerful book on improving your negotiation skills. Ury advocates that we negotiate our entire life and we must learn to embrace and improve this skill. This book will show you how.

                Who should read this book?

                • Readers seeking ways to improve their negotiation skills.

                What will you learn?

                • Tips and techniques to become a highly effective negotiator.

                “Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.” – Roger Fisher

                8. Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Getting Things Done by David Allen

                  Productivity expert David Allen is best known for his book Getting Things Done, yet it is Ready for Anything that takes his advice on productivity to the next level. Learn how to make things happen and improve your life with less effort, less stress, and with more energy!

                  Who should read this book?

                  • Readers seeking tips on productivity.

                  What will you learn?

                  • How to reach new levels of productivity with practical tips and techniques.

                  “The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.” – David Allen

                  9. The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino

                    In this guide to success and salesmanship, Mandino tells a story of a poor camel boy who comes across ancient scrolls. Each scroll provides the reader a message. Actor Matthew McConaughey remarked that this book changed his life.

                    Who should read this book?

                    • Readers seeking breakthrough ways for success in their lives.

                    What will you learn?

                    • How to form good habits and take action in your life.

                    “Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried.” – Og Mandino

                    10. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes

                      Leil Lowndes provides an incredibly practical book on how to communicate, improve posture, and become a winner… the book even provides advice on how to make someone fall in love with you!

                      Who should read this book?

                      • Readers seeking practical tips on how to improve in their day to day interactions with other people.

                      What will you learn?

                      • 92 tricks to improve your communication skills!

                      There are two kinds of people in this life: Those who walk into a room and say, “Well, here I am!” And those who walk in and say, “Ahh, there you are.” – Leil Lowndes

                      11. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

                        Let’s start of the list of well-known, yet different books that will improve your communication skills. Labeled by Bertrand Russell as the handbook for gangsters, The Prince focuses on effectiveness, not morality. Some key takeaways from this book are: 1) Pay close attention to the qualities of those who work for you; 2) Your appearance matters; 3) Keep your enemies close; 4) Avoid people who flatter you; and 5) Prepare for bad things to happen.

                        Who should read this book?

                        • Readers looking for ways to influence other people.

                        What will you learn?

                        • Historical lessons and tips for influencing people, regardless of morality.

                        “If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.” – Niccolo Machiavelli

                        12. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson

                          If you are a fan of the movie Office Space and are looking for a book to spark the “I just don’t give a f*ck” moment… look no further! Manson reminds us that we have a limited number of f*cks to give and we can’t go around giving them away to people that don’t matter.

                          Who should read this book?

                          • Readers seeking ways to stop caring so much what other people think of them.

                          What will you learn?

                          • That there are only a small group of people that truly deserve your time and effort.

                          “Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.” – Mark Manson

                          13. Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

                          Advertising

                            Confidence and composure are two extremely important skills in effective communication. Taleb provides readers a guide on how to become antifragile. This book will help readers find out where they are most exposed and identify where we can lose the most.

                            Who should read this book?

                            • Readers seeking knowledge on how to grow from disorder.

                            What will you learn?

                            • How we thrive from shock, volatility, and uncertainty.

                            “Trial and error is freedom.” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb

                            14. Wooden on Leadership: How to Create a Winning Organization by John Wooden

                              When it comes to winning in college basketball, there was no one better than legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden. At UCLA, his teams won 10 national titles in 12 years! To be an effective communicator for an organization, you must also be an effective leader. Coach Wooden shows us how.

                              Who should read this book?

                              • Readers interested in developing a strong leadership philosophy.

                              What will you learn?

                              • How to lead and develop young men.

                              “The most powerful leadership tool you have is your own personal example.” – Coach John Wooden

                              15. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

                                Inspired by The Prince, Robert Greene provides leaders historical lessons and practical ways to improve their communication skills through controlling anger and improving patience. His most important lesson is mastering your emotions.

                                Who should read this book?

                                • Readers seeking ways to influence other people, similar to The Prince.

                                What will you learn?

                                • 48 Laws to increase your power and influence over others.

                                “But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief. Power cannot accrue to those who squander their treasure of words.” – Robert Greene

                                16. Wink and Grow Rich by Roger Hamilton

                                  Finally, let’s take a look at those books you might not be familiar with. These are hidden gems. Wink and Grow Rich is one of my favorite books. It is a book with a hidden lesson behind the lesson! This is one of those books you will want to read over and over again. Each time you read, you will uncover something new.

                                  Who should read this book?

                                  • Readers seeking books with hidden meanings.

                                  What will you learn?

                                  • A true outside-the-box read on how to gain wealth and riches in multiple areas of your life.

                                  “To know and not to do is not yet to know.” – Roger Hamilton

                                  17. Quantum Memory Power: Learn to Improve Your Memory with the World Memory Champion by Dominic O’Brien

                                    Effective communicators must be good at remembering names and faces. The most effective way to improve your memory is to use techniques discussed in this book. Learn how to build memory palaces and improve your memory.

                                    Advertising

                                    Who should read this book?

                                    • Readers seeking ways to improve their memory.

                                    What will you learn?

                                    • Shortcuts and techniques to improve your memory.

                                    “This is a great tool for students as the book gets right to the heart of learning how to learn and engaging your whole brain.” – Dominic O’Brien

                                    18. Go for No! Yes Is the Destination, No Is How You Get There by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz

                                      Using fiction to impart knowledge upon their readers, Fenton and Waltz provide powerful lessons for readers by simply hearing the word No!

                                      Who should read this book?

                                      • People seeking a short inspirational read on how to realize your potential.

                                      What will you learn?

                                      • Why hearing no is a good thing!

                                      “Learning to hear no over and over again and to never quit… now that builds character and self-esteem. That’s empowering!” – Richard Fenton

                                      19. I Am John Galt: Today’s Heroic Innovators Building the World and the Villainous Parasites Destroying It by Donald Luskin and Andrew Greta

                                        This book was inspired by two of my favorite novels: Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. John Galt is the fictional character from Atlas Shrugged and embodies the characteristics some of our top CEOs and leaders strive to attain. This book compares the character’s (and characteristics) from Rand’s books with real people.

                                        Who should read this book?

                                        • Readers seeking a non-fiction comparison of Ayn Rand’s novels Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead and the real world.

                                        What will you learn?

                                        • Who is the real world version of John Galt.

                                        “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand

                                        20. Bill Snyder: They Said It Couldn’t Be Done by Mark Janssen

                                          The final book I will discuss is the first book I ever read to my beautiful daughter. In fact, I read (and finished) this book to her while holding her in the hospital the day of her birth.

                                          Legendary Kansas State University Wildcat coach Bill Snyder is a phenomenal leader and coach. In the spirit of John Wooden, Bill Snyder continues to coach and is the oldest active college football coach. This book chronicles his first stint in coaching (he actually retired once, then came back from retirement to coach the same team!). To be able to come back from retirement and coach young college kids at his age takes phenomenal leadership skills and even better communication skills. Take heed of Coach Snyder’s advice and learn how to be a lifelong communicator. I encourage you to take a look at Coach Snyder’s 16 Goals for Success. [1]

                                          Who should read this book?

                                          • Readers seeking the story of the greatest coach in college football!

                                          What will you learn?

                                          • The leadership philosophy from one of the all-time great coaches.

                                          “If you do pay attention to detail and the little things are important to you, you make them important to people.” – Coach Bill Snyder

                                          Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

                                          Reference

                                          More by this author

                                          Dr. Jamie Schwandt

                                          Lean Six Sigma Master Black Belt & Red Team Critical Thinker

                                          5 Proven Memorization Techniques to Make the Most of Your Memory 10 Best Brain Power Supplements That Will Supercharge Your Mind How to Upgrade Your Critical Thinking Skills and Make Smart Choices How to Reprogram Your Brain Like a Computer And Hack Your Habits 10 Hacks to Increase Your Brain IQ, Focus and Creativity

                                          Trending in Productivity

                                          1 How to Succeed in Life on Your Own Terms: 7 Essential Steps 2 How to Spot Job Burnout and Cope with It 3 10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track in 2019 4 25 Brain Exercises for Memory That Actually Help You Remember More 5 11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

                                          Read Next

                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising
                                          Advertising

                                          Last Updated on August 19, 2019

                                          How to Succeed in Life on Your Own Terms: 7 Essential Steps

                                          How to Succeed in Life on Your Own Terms: 7 Essential Steps

                                          There is a great deal of advice in the world telling us how to succeed in life, but often we are given advice that isn’t tailored to our needs, desires and priorities. Success means different things to each of us, and living a life that feels genuinely successful to me might be very different to your idea of a successful life.

                                          Naturally, when we follow the advice of someone else, which is tailored to their life goals and personality, we can end up with something that doesn’t deliver on the promise. We don’t get rewarded with our vision of success: we get theirs.

                                          This is why I’m a proponent of self-discovery, introspection and personal sovereignty. So how to succeed on your own terms?

                                          These 7 essential steps are not going to tell you exactly what to do, but they will provide you with the tools and the questions to ask so that you can discover your own path, so you know how to succeed in life on your own terms.

                                          1. Know Thyself

                                          One of Socrates’ most well-known quotes is,

                                          An unexamined life is not worth living.

                                          I argue that an unexamined life is not a successful one. Self-knowledge is something we could dedicate our lives to, but I’m not suggesting you sit around and navel-gaze in order to find happiness and meaning.

                                          Thankfully, there are people who have created techniques and systems that less us fast-forward through a lot of personal philosophizing, and quickly identify some key aspects of what makes us, us.

                                          You might want to find out what your ideal daily schedule is,[1] and you can take tests that reveal just that. Or you might want to figure out what you need to get things done – and yes, there’s a quiz for that too.

                                          Advertising

                                          None of these tests are infallible, and some are more scientific than others, but the process of asking yourself questions about your behaviors and traits is invaluable when it comes to determining your path to succeed in life.

                                          For example, if you know you are an introvert and are unhappy in your current workplace, it might be worth considering why that is (an open plan office space perhaps) and what you would prefer.

                                          It’s these little questions that will provoke answers in you that can guide the decisions that truly improve your life now and in the future.

                                          2. Figure out What Matters to You

                                          What lights you up? This is a question that often gets forgotten as we age. A fortunate child will be given the stimulation they desire in the form of bright toys, affection and entertainment. Little by little, the things that bring a child joy get replaced by what society demands on their behalf.

                                          When we return to that question, and ask ourselves what really matters and what brings us joy, we can move closer towards a successful life. It can help to think back to your childhood, and the times in your life when you were in what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls a flow state.[2]

                                          In a state of flow, time slows and our focus is directed like a laser. We are fully present.

                                          Whilst not everything in life that matters to you will conjure up a flow state, it’s a good indication of the kind of activities and experiences you can try to incorporate into your life on a regular basis.

                                          A successful life is made up of moments like this, and when you know what matters to you and brings you a sense of joy and purpose, you can go about creating more of that.

                                          3. Play to Your Strengths

                                          Why spend your time only on mitigating your weaknesses, only to feel average? Instead, playing to your strengths and amplifying those skills and qualities you already have will help you go from average to extraordinary.

                                          Advertising

                                          If you’re great at big picture thinking and love dreaming up new ideas, but often lack attention to detail, acknowledge that. Then instead of trying to improve your analytical skills, focus instead on developing your existing skills of imagination and insight. When you need someone with a keen eye for detail, you can collaborate with those people.

                                          Jackson Pollock was an extreme introvert, with no real desire to get his artwork in front of people. Fortunately, he had Clement Greenberg, who was much further towards the extrovert end of the spectrum, to popularize his work and get Pollock the publicity he needed.[3]

                                          Start by identifying your strengths and what comes naturally to you. Then work on developing those and becoming known for those strengths. You can always find someone who will help you in fill in the gaps.

                                          4. Listen to Yourself

                                          It isn’t always clear to us that we’re on a path that leads us to failure or to success. People can spends decades in a job that is unfulfilling and slowly breaking their spirit, without even realizing it – until it’s too late. This is usually because they haven’t learned how to truly listen to themselves.

                                          The challenge we face is that we’re listening to so many other sources of information; whether it’s the news, television, social media, family, friends or colleagues. Many may want to help, but that doesn’t mean they know what’s best for us. Only you know what success means for you, and working this out begins with listening to yourself.

                                          Listening to yourself requires practice. It’s a daily effort, which over time, does get easier. That inner voice of wisdom will get clearer, and the decisions you make will feel more convincing.

                                          To start, you could try to set aside 10 to 15 minutes when you first wake up, in silence. Rather than look at your phone, checking emails or social media, simply sit in silence, listening.

                                          Ask yourself a simple question like, what am I feeling right now, in this moment? Notice the answer that bubbles up, without getting lost in the story. Starting an inner dialogue, without judgment is one of the key tools you can use to start making better decisions in your life.

                                          Learn more about listening to your true self in this guide: How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment

                                          Advertising

                                          5. Listen to Others (But Not Everyone)

                                          Listening to yourself is one thing, but listening to others is crucial in order to learn, empathize and be of benefit to your community.

                                          Truly listening to others is not just waiting patiently until it’s your turn to speak. Active listening requires focused attention, and the intention to understand where the other person is coming from.

                                          When you do this, you can ask better questions and discover more about the world and everyone in it, as well as learn how to interact with others in order to succeed in life on your own terms.

                                          However, this doesn’t mean you have to listen to everyone you come across. Trolls on the internet may come into the category of people not to listen to. Some people’s opinions will do more harm than good, as not everyone has your best interest in mind.

                                          It’s worth identifying a shortlist of people whose opinions you will listen to. Brené Brown, author of the New York Times best-seller Daring Greatly, recommends taking a 1-inch x 1-inch square of paper and make a list of people whose opinions matter to you. These are the people who love you and will genuinely support and help you. According to Brown,

                                          “If you need more paper, you need to edit.”

                                          6. Make Time for Reflection

                                          It’s easy to go through life without taking inventory of what you’re actually accomplishing. Missing this crucial step means we end up jumping from one goal to the next, without feeling like we’re getting anywhere.

                                          Make time, ideally each day to reflect. You might keep a paper journal, or an online document. Either way, jot down:

                                          • What went well today
                                          • Something you’re grateful for
                                          • What would make tomorrow even better

                                          Doing this can have measurable benefits to our overall sense of well-being, as well as keeping us focused for more success in the future.[4]

                                          Advertising

                                          It also helps combat feelings of lack and doubt, that arise when we compare ourselves to others. When we look at someone who appears to be more successful than us in an area of life, we can forget how far we’ve come and how much we have to be grateful for.

                                          Making time to reflect on what you have accomplished is critical to keep you on track, and just not looking at what others are doing.

                                          7. Don’t Be Afraid to Change Your Mind

                                          Arguably the most important step of all:

                                          Remember that there’s nothing wrong in changing your mind and correcting course.

                                          The path to a successful life is not straight and narrow. It meanders and there’s no harm in going back and picking a different (and better) route.

                                          “I think our life is a journey, and we make mistakes, and it’s how we learn from those mistakes and rebound from those mistakes that sets us on the path that we’re meant to be on.” — Jay Ellis

                                          Be willing to make mistakes, learn from them and change your mind. Ultimately, there’s no better way to succeed in life on your own terms.

                                          More Articles About Achieving Success

                                          Featured photo credit: Shirly Niv Marton via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

                                          Read Next