Advertising
Advertising

Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One?

Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One?

Every man cheats. This seems to be the common assumption in our minds, especially ladies. Men are not trustworthy, they are easily tempted, and they have commitment issues.

Say your husband often comes home late and explains as “I have to work”, or you catch your boyfriend looking at some other girl’s profiles, do you associate these actions with cheating?

Yes, men do cheat but not all of them. (And women do cheat too) And it’s not always because they don’t love their significant others anymore. So why do guys cheat? There are more reasons as to why they cheat on their loved once.

The reasons why men cheat may come as a surprise.

    Before I explain anything, you must understand that relationships and emotional feelings are psychological drives. There’s a constant vibration of hormones or chemical substances within the body when the opposite sex is close by, and often it is unfortunate that women around men isn’t their loved ones. However, this doesn’t stop those chemical vibrations within the body. So what happens next? They are tempted. And of course, they may cheat if tempted beyond their capabilities.

    While today’s research confirms an estimate of 25-75% of married men cheating on their loved ones, it reveals that not all men cheat. It also exposes hidden facts about the reasons why men engage in this act of infidelity. Most of these reasons may shock you and here are some psychological evidences to explain the reasons you thought why men cheat.

    Advertising

    1. Some men actually cheat to save their marriages.

    Many people believes most cheating men are unhappy with their marriages, but this is just a myth. A study by Rutgers University reveals almost 56% of cheating men claims to be happy with their marriages, and in fact, they aren’t looking for a way to opt out of it or will they allow anything to threaten their marriages.

    Because most men have challenges solving their relationship problems, they believe another woman may just satisfy their thirst for sexual urge so they go for it. They feel they can live happily with their wives, without longing for anything that displeases her; but they simply leave the real issue unaddressed.

    2. They lack discipline but they still love their wives.

    You may be wrong if you believe men cheats because they don’t love their wives. Cheating has nothing to do with love. In fact, it has everything to do with discipline. It’s not love that stimulates hormonal vibrations within the body, but sight and touch do. It takes discipline and self-control for a man to overcome the alluring beauty, soft touch and romantic voice of his colleague or female friend. These, of course, must initiate the chemical substances within his body and makes him want to make advancements just to calm this urge down.

    3. Most of them cheat because they are sexually active.

    I believe you understand what I mean. A common infidelity incidence with my age-long friend Amanda reveals that sexually active men who gains praises from their wives for their sexual strength believes as long as they can satisfy their wives and act normal at home, it doesn’t matter if they cheat, and of course, it won’t cause a problem with their marriages either.

    “Despite all the information about his cheating habit, I was waiting for a time he’ll tell me he can’t have a time with me or he is too tired to make love to me to confirm he was actually cheating, but that time was forever,” said Amanda. If you’re actually waiting for him to show you the signs like Amanda, unfortunately, you may just wait forever.

    4. They don’t want to be over-demanding for sex.

    Tonny once told me, “Lily, sometimes I don’t just want my wife to think I’m overly demanding for sex, so I take a chance out.” But what Tonny never told me is if his wife actually complained about his sex habits. That’s what I guessed though!

    Advertising

    Most men don’t want their wives to find out their weaknesses and use against them. They cheat because they want to avoid being helpless when their wives takes advantage of their weaknesses.

    5. Being overly confident of a relationship can lead to cheating too.

    Have you ever said to someone you won’t leave them no matter what? So what happened next? I guess he was the one who cheated on you?

    Jim was a childhood friend who I spent most of my times with until after our college years. I said secret prayers everyday for God to give him the courage to walk up to me and say these three golden words — I love you. Have you had such feelings before? Have you been so tempted as a woman to the point where the only thing stopping you from taking the initiative to confess your love for him is just your feminine ego? Yes, that was me.

    You can imagine the joy when he finally walked up to me and said secretly…Lily, I love you. I felt butterflies hovering all over the inside of me and I could not hold my confession back. The feelings were so strong that I couldn’t think of a future without Jim. But my over-confidence made him took away the love I prayed secretly for. Even when I caught him cheating, it took him a long time to apologize because he felt I can’t do anything. I waited for him…I was waiting just for his apologies and rushing back into his arms.

    But it was too late, we both lost the love we nursed from childhood because of our over-confidence.

    When you look at infidelity, it’s a serious problem that can tear beautiful relationships apart in just a moment, and once this betrayal of trust is noticed, it could hardly be built back. So, it is very important to know when a man is cheating on you.

    Advertising

    So, how can I spot a cheating man?

    Understand the cheating phenomenon

    You need to understand showers of love and cheers don’t mean he isn’t a cheat. When men cheat, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They simply lack self-discipline or control.

    Stop looking for signs or waiting for his misbehavior

    Most cheating men aren’t spotted because what we believe as the reasons for cheating are just myths. One of the surest ways to save your marriage is to understand the cheating phenomenon. The subject of cheating is to be studied and understood and not merely looking for signs or misbehavior. One major problem with spotting cheating men is, “you can hardly get them when they already know you’re looking for misbehavior and or faulty signs because they are smart”.

    But, what can I do about this?

    You must first change the mindset that a cheating man doesn’t love you.

    Because he does really and truly love you. Learn to understand the psychology of cheating and endeavors to play your role as a woman to both being friendly and accommodating.

    Advertising

    Take responsibility for your contributions in his cheating habit fast and make things right.

    No one is beyond redemption especially if you love them so, you must learn to forgive when they sincerely apologize for their misdeeds.

    Expect him to change but not so fast.

    He will not become a saint at dawn and along the way you have a big role to play in rehabilitating him but keeping your eyes open for changes along the process.

    Finally, know when to walk away.

    If he doesn’t change after all your efforts, understand it’s time to move on because you deserve to be happy and loved.

    Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

    More by this author

    MICHAEL LILY

    Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

    What Is Love and What Is Not 4 Proven Ways to Strengthen Relationships 5 Things You Must Do If You’re Moving From Japan To The US Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One? Five Tips to Ensure Online Dating Success After 60

    Trending in Communication

    1 11 Red Flags in a Relationship Not To Ignore 2 Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating 3 7 Simple Ways To Be Famous In One Year 4 How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways) 5 31 Simple Ways to Free Your Mind Immediately

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on February 11, 2021

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

    Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

    The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

    Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

    Perceptual Barrier

    The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

    Advertising

    The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

    The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

    Attitudinal Barrier

    Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

    The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

    Advertising

    The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

    Language Barrier

    This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

    The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

    The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

    Advertising

    Emotional Barrier

    Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

    The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

    The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

    Cultural Barrier

    Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

    Advertising

    The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

    The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

    Gender Barrier

    Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

    The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

    The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

    And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

    Reference

    Read Next