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Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One?

Do All Men Cheat and Why Do They Cheat on Their Loved One?

Every man cheats. This seems to be the common assumption in our minds, especially ladies. Men are not trustworthy, they are easily tempted, and they have commitment issues.

Say your husband often comes home late and explains as “I have to work”, or you catch your boyfriend looking at some other girl’s profiles, do you associate these actions with cheating?

Yes, men do cheat but not all of them. (And women do cheat too) And it’s not always because they don’t love their significant others anymore. So why do guys cheat? There are more reasons as to why they cheat on their loved once.

The reasons why men cheat may come as a surprise.

    Before I explain anything, you must understand that relationships and emotional feelings are psychological drives. There’s a constant vibration of hormones or chemical substances within the body when the opposite sex is close by, and often it is unfortunate that women around men isn’t their loved ones. However, this doesn’t stop those chemical vibrations within the body. So what happens next? They are tempted. And of course, they may cheat if tempted beyond their capabilities.

    While today’s research confirms an estimate of 25-75% of married men cheating on their loved ones, it reveals that not all men cheat. It also exposes hidden facts about the reasons why men engage in this act of infidelity. Most of these reasons may shock you and here are some psychological evidences to explain the reasons you thought why men cheat.

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    1. Some men actually cheat to save their marriages.

    Many people believes most cheating men are unhappy with their marriages, but this is just a myth. A study by Rutgers University reveals almost 56% of cheating men claims to be happy with their marriages, and in fact, they aren’t looking for a way to opt out of it or will they allow anything to threaten their marriages.

    Because most men have challenges solving their relationship problems, they believe another woman may just satisfy their thirst for sexual urge so they go for it. They feel they can live happily with their wives, without longing for anything that displeases her; but they simply leave the real issue unaddressed.

    2. They lack discipline but they still love their wives.

    You may be wrong if you believe men cheats because they don’t love their wives. Cheating has nothing to do with love. In fact, it has everything to do with discipline. It’s not love that stimulates hormonal vibrations within the body, but sight and touch do. It takes discipline and self-control for a man to overcome the alluring beauty, soft touch and romantic voice of his colleague or female friend. These, of course, must initiate the chemical substances within his body and makes him want to make advancements just to calm this urge down.

    3. Most of them cheat because they are sexually active.

    I believe you understand what I mean. A common infidelity incidence with my age-long friend Amanda reveals that sexually active men who gains praises from their wives for their sexual strength believes as long as they can satisfy their wives and act normal at home, it doesn’t matter if they cheat, and of course, it won’t cause a problem with their marriages either.

    “Despite all the information about his cheating habit, I was waiting for a time he’ll tell me he can’t have a time with me or he is too tired to make love to me to confirm he was actually cheating, but that time was forever,” said Amanda. If you’re actually waiting for him to show you the signs like Amanda, unfortunately, you may just wait forever.

    4. They don’t want to be over-demanding for sex.

    Tonny once told me, “Lily, sometimes I don’t just want my wife to think I’m overly demanding for sex, so I take a chance out.” But what Tonny never told me is if his wife actually complained about his sex habits. That’s what I guessed though!

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    Most men don’t want their wives to find out their weaknesses and use against them. They cheat because they want to avoid being helpless when their wives takes advantage of their weaknesses.

    5. Being overly confident of a relationship can lead to cheating too.

    Have you ever said to someone you won’t leave them no matter what? So what happened next? I guess he was the one who cheated on you?

    Jim was a childhood friend who I spent most of my times with until after our college years. I said secret prayers everyday for God to give him the courage to walk up to me and say these three golden words — I love you. Have you had such feelings before? Have you been so tempted as a woman to the point where the only thing stopping you from taking the initiative to confess your love for him is just your feminine ego? Yes, that was me.

    You can imagine the joy when he finally walked up to me and said secretly…Lily, I love you. I felt butterflies hovering all over the inside of me and I could not hold my confession back. The feelings were so strong that I couldn’t think of a future without Jim. But my over-confidence made him took away the love I prayed secretly for. Even when I caught him cheating, it took him a long time to apologize because he felt I can’t do anything. I waited for him…I was waiting just for his apologies and rushing back into his arms.

    But it was too late, we both lost the love we nursed from childhood because of our over-confidence.

    When you look at infidelity, it’s a serious problem that can tear beautiful relationships apart in just a moment, and once this betrayal of trust is noticed, it could hardly be built back. So, it is very important to know when a man is cheating on you.

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    So, how can I spot a cheating man?

    Understand the cheating phenomenon

    You need to understand showers of love and cheers don’t mean he isn’t a cheat. When men cheat, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They simply lack self-discipline or control.

    Stop looking for signs or waiting for his misbehavior

    Most cheating men aren’t spotted because what we believe as the reasons for cheating are just myths. One of the surest ways to save your marriage is to understand the cheating phenomenon. The subject of cheating is to be studied and understood and not merely looking for signs or misbehavior. One major problem with spotting cheating men is, “you can hardly get them when they already know you’re looking for misbehavior and or faulty signs because they are smart”.

    But, what can I do about this?

    You must first change the mindset that a cheating man doesn’t love you.

    Because he does really and truly love you. Learn to understand the psychology of cheating and endeavors to play your role as a woman to both being friendly and accommodating.

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    Take responsibility for your contributions in his cheating habit fast and make things right.

    No one is beyond redemption especially if you love them so, you must learn to forgive when they sincerely apologize for their misdeeds.

    Expect him to change but not so fast.

    He will not become a saint at dawn and along the way you have a big role to play in rehabilitating him but keeping your eyes open for changes along the process.

    Finally, know when to walk away.

    If he doesn’t change after all your efforts, understand it’s time to move on because you deserve to be happy and loved.

    Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

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    MICHAEL LILY

    Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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    Last Updated on December 2, 2018

    7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

    7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

    When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

    You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

    1. Connecting them with each other

    Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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    It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

    2. Connect with their emotions

    Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

    For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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    3. Keep going back to the beginning

    Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

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    After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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    Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

    5. Entertain them

    While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

    Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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    6. Appeal to loyalty

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