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How Misogynistic People Make the Society Take a Great Step Backward

How Misogynistic People Make the Society Take a Great Step Backward

Have you ever had an odd feeling about something, but can’t seem to put your finger on it?

You’re in a meeting at work and notice how that male co-worker repeatedly interrupts the female coworker.

You’re playing a game with friends and the phrase, “you throw like a girl” just doesn’t sit well with you.

You hear a random joke that seems harmless at first, but it’s clear the women in the room are squirming.

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What you’re witnessing is misogynistic behavior. And it’s a big problem in society.

What exactly is misogynistic?

Derived from the Greek word misogynia (anti-woman), misogyny is defined as an unreasonable fear or hatred of women.[1]

People that practice misogyny are known as misogynistic and their behavior has an extremely negative impact on women. It can be demonstrated in a variety of ways, from sexist comments, oppression, and objectification, to more extreme acts, such as violence against women.

And while misogyny can be completely blatant in some situations, other times, people can demonstrate misogyny without necessarily realizing it. In addition, misogyny is more common in men, yet some women can also be misogynistic.

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Where does it come from?

The roots of misogyny can stem from a variety of issues, commonly started early in life. The person may have been raised a particular way, with a huge lack of respect for women. It can also start with a negative experience from a mother, sister, aunt, etc., resulting in an unreasonable anger or phobia of women. Oftentimes, a male-dominated society can breed misogynistic views.

Whatever the source, according to Psychology Today, once a negative seed about women is planted,[2]

“this seed will germinate and begin to grow, the tiny root working its way into the fear processing and memory areas of the brain as its tiny stem works its way into frontal areas of the brain, affecting emotion and rational decision-making.”

Misogyny can begin early in women as well. If they are in male-dominated environments, constantly experiencing a culture that makes women feel inferior to men, women become conditioned to think of other women and themselves in a negative light.

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Misogynists come in many forms:[3]

  • The Spreader – This type of misogynist literally spreads out all over the place. If he lives with a woman, he’s the kind of man that will drop his belongings throughout the property. Or if he is in a workspace, this man will leave out his books, documents, pens, etc., in a manner that makes it clear he has no intention of allowing a coworker to share the area even though it’s supposed to be a shared space.
  • The Explainer – If he sees a woman in a store, place of business, social gathering, etc., he quickly assumes she knows nothing about her surroundings and needs him to explain any and everything to her.
  • The Competitor – He’s the kind of guy that already hates to lose, regardless if it is a woman or man. But as a misogynist, he has a really tough time accepting a woman beating him. Even if she wins fair and square, the thought of a woman beating him is extremely hard on his emotions.
  • The Interrupter – No matter what is going on, this man is going to interrupt a woman during any kind of discussion. He usually talks out of turn to get his point across, and it doesn’t matter if his point isn’t even relevant. In addition, he has zero respect for another person’s time, especially women, and will completely ignore time limits when talking.

These are just a handful of many types of misogynistic people. Regardless of the type, these personalities really perpetuate negativity on women, which leads to the question:

How do we deal with misogynists?

Combatting misogynistic people can feel like an uphill battle at times. That’s because, as mentioned before, some characteristics of misogyny can go unnoticed so long, it’s practically accepted in society.

Some of the biggest places people have to battle misogyny is in the workplace. If women are going to have any chance of ever being viewed as equal to their male counterparts, certain commonly used terms, ways of thinking, and gender bias must go.

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For example, studies show when reviewing men and women regarding performance, women receive much more critical reviews than men. Women were typically described as abrasive, bossy, or confrontational. Yet men are viewed as assertive, confident, and strong. Men are given constructive suggestions. Women are given constructive suggestions – and told to pipe down.[4]

Fortunately, there are various ways to address misogynistic comments and situations. It starts with preparation and thinking about possible responses before a situation occurs. For instance:

  • If you find yourself describing a woman with misogynistic words, ask yourself what you would say if a man behaved this way. Would you comment at all? How would you describe him?
  • If you hear someone else describe a woman with misogynistic words, what could you say? One possible script, to attempt to open up conversation: “Hmm, it’s interesting you call her ‘shrill.’ I don’t hear men with strong opinions called that. Have you ever thought about that?”
  • If someone describes you with misogynistic words, especially in a performance appraisal setting, calling out sexism can be a big deal. “If you want to call someone on sexist feedback, you could try something like: ‘I’m interested why I’m being called ‘bossy’ and ‘opinionated.’ I wonder if you could help me sift through that feedback, and see what I can take from it.'”[5]

Misogyny has a long way to go before it is eliminated from society. But as long as people begin to take notice and address the issues, as well as change patterns and thought processes at an early age, we can begin to see change in society and push forward instead of going backward.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

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Last Updated on December 16, 2018

12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude

12 Simple Ways You Can Build A Positive Attitude

We all look for a better and happier life, but somehow we realize it’s our attitude that makes it hard to lead the life we want. How can we build a positive attitude? Grant Mathews has listed out the things (from the easiest to the hardest) we can do to cultivate this attitude on Quora:

1. Listen to good music.

Music definitely improves your mood, and it’s a really simple thing to do.

2. Don’t watch television passively.

Studies have shown that people who watch TV less are happier, which leads me to my next point…

3. Don’t do anything passively.

Whenever I do something, I like to ask myself if, at the end of the day, I would be content saying that I had spent time doing it. (This is why I block sites I find myself wasting too much time on. I enjoy them, but they’re just not worth it when I could be learning something new, or working on projects I care about.)

Time is incredibly valuable.

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4. Be aware of negativity

A community that considers itself intelligent tends to be negativity because criticizing is seen as a signaling mechanism to indicate that you’re more intelligent than the person you corrected. This was irrationally frustrating for me – it’s one of those things you’ll stay up all night to think about.

5. Make time to be alone.

I initially said “take time just to be alone.” I changed it because if you don’t ensure you can take a break, you’ll surely be interrupted.

Being with other people is something you can do to make you happy, but I don’t include it in this list because nearly everyone finds time to talk with friends. On the other hand, spending time just with yourself is almost considered a taboo.

Take some time to figure out who you are.

6. Exercise.

This is the best way to improve your immediate happiness.

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Exercise probably makes you happy. Try and go on a run. You’ll hate yourself while doing it, but the gratification that you get towards the end vastly outweighs the frustration of the first few attempts. I can’t say enough good things about exercise.

Exercising is also fantastic because it gives you time alone.

7. Have projects.

Having a goal, and moving towards it, is a key to happiness.

You have to realize though that achieving the goal is not necessarily what makes you happy – it’s the process. When I write music, I write it because writing is inherently enjoyable, not because I want to get popular (as if!).

8. Take time to do the things you enjoy.

That’s very general, so let me give you a good example.

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One of the things that has really changed my life was finding small communities centered around activities I enjoy. For instance, I like writing music, so I’m part of a community that meets up to write a song for an hour every week. I love the community. I’ve also written a song every week, 37 weeks in a row, which has gradually moved me towards larger goals and makes me feel very satisfied.

9. Change your definition of happiness.

Another reason I think I’m more happy than other people is because my definition of happiness is a lot more relaxed than most people’s. I don’t seek for some sort of constant euphoria; I don’t think it’s possible to live like that. My happiness is closer to stability.

10. Ignore things that don’t make you happy.

I get varying reactions to this one.

The argument goes “if something is making you unhappy, then you should find out why and improve it, not ignore it.” If you can do that, great. But on the other hand, there’s no reason to mope about a bad score on a test.

There’s another counterargument: perhaps you’re moping because your brain is trying to work out how to improve. In fact, this is the key purpose of depression: Depression’s Upside – NYTimes.com

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I can think of examples that go both ways. I remember, for instance, when I was debating a year or two ago and my partner and I would lose a round, I would mull over what we had done wrong for a long time. In that way, I got immensely better at debate (and public speaking in general – did you know debate has amazing effects on your public speaking ability? But now I really digress).

On the other hand, there’s no way that mulling over how dumb you were for missing that +x term on the left hand side will make you better at math. So stop worrying about it, and go practice math instead.

11. Find a way to measure your progress, and then measure it.

Video games are addictive for a reason: filling up an experience bar and making it to the next level is immensely satisfying. I think that it would be really cool if we could apply this concept to the real world.

I put this near the bottom of the list because, unfortunately, this hasn’t been done too often in the real world – startup idea, anyone? So you would have to do it yourself, which is difficult when you don’t even know how much you’ve progressed.

For a while, I kept a log of the runs I had taken, and my average speed. It was really cool to see my improvement over the weeks. (Also, I was exercising. Combining the two was fantastic for boosting happiness.)

12. Realize that happiness is an evolutionary reward, not an objective truth.

It’s easy to see that this is correct, but this is at the bottom of the list for a reason.

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