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The More We Allow Ourselves To Do Silly Things, The More Confident We Become

The More We Allow Ourselves To Do Silly Things, The More Confident We Become

How should a confident person be like?

Someone who does everything well, believes in his competence, and has pride in his achievements? Or someone who does stupid things occasionally in front of others?

The former description might seem to fit the typical definition of confident people. Innumerable articles and discussions tell us that to be more confident, we need to remind ourselves of what we have achieved whenever we doubt ourselves.

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But what if the answer is the other way round? In fact, the ones who are more willing to accept their idiocies are more confident.

Some people are not really that confident.

We are conscious of our competence and achievements because they are probably the only solid things in our lives to prove our abilities and strengths. We say Usain Bolt is an excellent sprinter not just because he is physically strong but because he has the ability to break world records. The recognition and pride that come from within are our sources of confidence.

But in the long term, if we will care too much about our dignity and overestimate our importance, we will easily avoid situations that threaten them.

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Let’s say if Bolt were someone who cared much about his dignity, it is very likely that he would refuse when someone invited him to participate in any competition as he would fear that failure would damage his image as a great runner.

Confidence built upon our competence achievements might not be something that we should look for. Accept our stupidity is the way to build true confidence.

Everyone is stupid and deranged by nature.

It might be hard to accept it but let’s face the truth: everyone is stupid in some sense.

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You and I certainly have some moments finding ourselves stupid, no exception for the great people. Erasmus, a Dutch Renaissance humanist who wrote In Praise of Folly, suggested that everyone is a fool by nature. He himself was also a fool in his eyes. He was irrationally nervous whenever he met new people and acted stupidly in banquets even he was well-respected for his profound knowledge.

We should not keep reassuring our dignity but recognize the fact that everyone does silly things and makes mistakes from time to time. Sometimes we try to cover our weaknesses as much as possible because of the fear of humiliation. But embracing our foolishness is the first step to truly build our confidence.

Confidence has a much broader meaning than just being proud. When everyone is as silly as we are, there’s nothing wrong to do one more silly thing in life. And we will be more comfortable living with our own skin.

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Make fun of yourself!

Allowing yourself to make mistakes and laugh at yourself afterwards is the key to build your confidence. If you are a lost tourist, you can embrace your innocence and kindly ask for direction despite the fact that people might regard you with contempt. But it’s totally fine. You can simply laugh at yourself for not getting well-prepared for your trip.

When you laugh at yourself more often, you will realize that you don’t need to be perfect to be accepted. We can do nothing about our stupidity as it is an inborn quality of the human race. How great it is to know that even the greatest people are as stupid as we are! The true confidence we have will allow us to give things a go and accept whatever happens to us.

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Sheba Leung

Translator. Sport lover. Traveler.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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