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The More We Allow Ourselves To Do Silly Things, The More Confident We Become

The More We Allow Ourselves To Do Silly Things, The More Confident We Become

How should a confident person be like?

Someone who does everything well, believes in his competence, and has pride in his achievements? Or someone who does stupid things occasionally in front of others?

The former description might seem to fit the typical definition of confident people. Innumerable articles and discussions tell us that to be more confident, we need to remind ourselves of what we have achieved whenever we doubt ourselves.

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But what if the answer is the other way round? In fact, the ones who are more willing to accept their idiocies are more confident.

Some people are not really that confident.

We are conscious of our competence and achievements because they are probably the only solid things in our lives to prove our abilities and strengths. We say Usain Bolt is an excellent sprinter not just because he is physically strong but because he has the ability to break world records. The recognition and pride that come from within are our sources of confidence.

But in the long term, if we will care too much about our dignity and overestimate our importance, we will easily avoid situations that threaten them.

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Let’s say if Bolt were someone who cared much about his dignity, it is very likely that he would refuse when someone invited him to participate in any competition as he would fear that failure would damage his image as a great runner.

Confidence built upon our competence achievements might not be something that we should look for. Accept our stupidity is the way to build true confidence.

Everyone is stupid and deranged by nature.

It might be hard to accept it but let’s face the truth: everyone is stupid in some sense.

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You and I certainly have some moments finding ourselves stupid, no exception for the great people. Erasmus, a Dutch Renaissance humanist who wrote In Praise of Folly, suggested that everyone is a fool by nature. He himself was also a fool in his eyes. He was irrationally nervous whenever he met new people and acted stupidly in banquets even he was well-respected for his profound knowledge.

We should not keep reassuring our dignity but recognize the fact that everyone does silly things and makes mistakes from time to time. Sometimes we try to cover our weaknesses as much as possible because of the fear of humiliation. But embracing our foolishness is the first step to truly build our confidence.

Confidence has a much broader meaning than just being proud. When everyone is as silly as we are, there’s nothing wrong to do one more silly thing in life. And we will be more comfortable living with our own skin.

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Make fun of yourself!

Allowing yourself to make mistakes and laugh at yourself afterwards is the key to build your confidence. If you are a lost tourist, you can embrace your innocence and kindly ask for direction despite the fact that people might regard you with contempt. But it’s totally fine. You can simply laugh at yourself for not getting well-prepared for your trip.

When you laugh at yourself more often, you will realize that you don’t need to be perfect to be accepted. We can do nothing about our stupidity as it is an inborn quality of the human race. How great it is to know that even the greatest people are as stupid as we are! The true confidence we have will allow us to give things a go and accept whatever happens to us.

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Sheba Leung

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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