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How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

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How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

If you’re reading this, I’m pretty sure it’s because you want to create that amazing date to impress that special woman in your life, possibly for Valentine’s Day or maybe another special occasion (such as her birthday or your anniversary). Well, as a woman who’s been out on quite a few dates myself (some of them so wonderfully memorable that I still tell my girlfriends about them), and as a Love Coach who has worked with quite a few amazing women, I’m pretty well-versed on what women want to see from the men in their lives.

I’ve recently began to share these incredible insights that few men are privy to with some very nice men who begged me for help and who have become my Love Coaching clients. Upon witnessing their desperation for knowledge, I felt a deep sense of duty to help them out. You see, my whole mission since I began my work as a Love Coach was simply to bridge the gap between women and men that leads them to so misunderstand one another. I began by helping women to understand what men want better. But then, men wanted to understand women better too, so I thought that it was only fair to help them too.

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My one-to-one coaching work with men then took off as one told another how much he’d learned, and soon I’d decided to run workshops (stay tuned for those coming soon to an area near you). But, as I can’t be everywhere, I started to look for ways to share this knowledge quicker. I wrote and published a book helping women and am now working on a similar book for men. But until that’s done, I’m sharing the knowledge that I have here in this and other similar blogs that men like to read for this kind of information.

So, here are some quick tips on how to create a date that she’ll never forget (whether for Valentine’s Day or another special occasion).

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1. Surprise her.

There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man who can create a special date entirely without asking her any questions, especially if he makes it a surprise. For practical, calendar-organizing purposes, I suggest booking that time in her calendar in advance (just to make sure she leaves it free for you), whether during the day or in the evening. Then, go about creating your plan, and make it a time when she doesn’t have to be concerned with making any choices other than, possibly, what she should order – if you know your lady very well, you can potentially even surprise her with your choice on that subject too (if she’s the type that would enjoy giving that control to you for this scenario). Make the day a mystery to her. Of course, keep this within the limits of what you presume she’d enjoy. Most women love to be surprised and pampered every once in a while, allowing their man to take control of creating that great atmosphere. Plus, you creating this safe atmosphere for her to relax and enjoy will make you seem more manly and proactive in her eyes, which will then allow her to surrender into her femininity.

2. Create an experience instead of just handing her a gift or flowers.

Don’t get me wrong- gifts and flowers are amazing (and very few women don’t like them), but allow them to be just a part of the experience. If you know something special that would really excite her or that she’d love to receive, by all means give it to her – but include it in the experience. This could mean creating a build-up to the moment when she receives the gift, which means the anticipation will build and make the gift itself into something more interesting than just a present. Or, it could mean taking her out for an experience that you can enjoy together and bond further around, such as seeing a special exhibition together, going dancing, going to a show that touches both of you (or makes you both laugh), or experiencing something else involving both of you together.

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3. Give her your full attention.

When you’re with her, really make her feel special by paying attention to her fully. Do not be distracted by other thoughts, other people, or even by your phone. Make her feel that she is the only one who you are thinking of and who you want to be sharing that moment with. Every woman dreams of the man who is so attentive to her that he doesn’t even feel the need to pay attention to the outside world. Imagine how special and memorable you’ll be to her when you become that man; it will right away make you seem that much more attractive in her eyes. So, look into her eyes and make her feel that she’s the only woman you notice in that moment. This means no phones, no work calls, no other occupations, and definitely no checking for sport scores or checking out other women!

    4. Be thankful for her presence in your life.

    Even though you are the one creating the amazing atmosphere and potentially giving her a gift or flowers, thank her for being the incredible woman that she is. Imagine how good you’ll make her feel when you tell her how much you appreciate having her in your life. You can take that even further by telling her exactly what you most appreciate about her. It is an unfortunate fact of life that we often forget to show true appreciation to our partners and that we often walk around feeling under-appreciated. You telling her how special you feel she is will result in her realizing even more what a wonderful man she has by her side, a man who truly sees her for her best. It will make her even more devoted to being with you and to making you feel pretty wonderful too. Showing genuine appreciation for her will not only create a special atmosphere between the two of you but will also make this into an amazing day that she will remember for years to come (the added bonus being that she will share how great a man you are with her friends, who will then reaffirm how lucky she feels to have you in her life).

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    5. Do your best to make her feel extra-special.

    Whatever your interests are, and whatever you plan for the day or evening, it will always go best if you put thought and intention into making her feel extra-special. Do your best, genuinely, and put yourself into her shoes while considering what she would like and what would make her feel really good. Consider what will give her the greatest pleasure, and fill her day or evening with joy. If this is a special occasion and you are thinking of giving her flowers or a gift, that’s great, but maybe add some special flair into that gift. For example, you can give her a beautiful plant instead of the flowers and send a message that as it blooms and grows, so do your feelings for her. That may sound cheesy, but believe me, she’ll ooo and aahh about it with her friends or family. If she is at work, you can have a bouquet of flowers delivered with a romantic note regarding what’s to come that evening. You can even have a mysterious note delivered to her workplace asking her to come out for a second. Then, hand her a special gift. Or, you can include a promise of the special gift coming later that day. If you want this special day to be memorable, create a gesture that she will never forget.

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      Julia Keller is a Transformational Love Coach who empowers women and men to be the creators of their ideal love life. Julia has studied what makes some succeed in love while others don’t, and she has used her knowledge to help her clients towards their own personal love success stories. You can see more from Julia Keller on her website: www.juliakeller.co.uk. Follow her on Twitter: @JuliaKellerUK, on Facebook and Instagram: @coachjuliakeller and on YouTube (search Julia Keller Coaching). To schedule a free 30-minute Love Tune Up call, go to Julia’s website, or click this link: https://attractauthenticlove.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=1926282 

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      Last Updated on November 18, 2021

      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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      10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

      We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

      A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

      So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

      • honest
      • reliable
      • competent
      • kind and compassionate
      • capable of taking the blame
      • able to persevere
      • modest and humble
      • pacific and can control anger.

      The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

      1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

      All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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      But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

      2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

      How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

      I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

      “The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

      Abigail Van Buren

      3. How does this person take the blame?

      Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

      4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

      You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

      5. Read their emails.

      Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

      • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
      • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
      • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
      • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
      • Too many question marks can show anger
      • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

      6. Watch out for the show offs.

      Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

      7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

      A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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      Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

      8. Their empathy score is high.

      Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

      People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

      9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

      We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

      “One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

      Stendhal

       10. Avoid toxic people.

      These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

      • Envy or jealousy
      • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
      • Complaining about their own lack of success
      • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
      • Obsession with themselves and their problems

      Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

      Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

      Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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