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How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

If you’re reading this, I’m pretty sure it’s because you want to create that amazing date to impress that special woman in your life, possibly for Valentine’s Day or maybe another special occasion (such as her birthday or your anniversary). Well, as a woman who’s been out on quite a few dates myself (some of them so wonderfully memorable that I still tell my girlfriends about them), and as a Love Coach who has worked with quite a few amazing women, I’m pretty well-versed on what women want to see from the men in their lives.

I’ve recently began to share these incredible insights that few men are privy to with some very nice men who begged me for help and who have become my Love Coaching clients. Upon witnessing their desperation for knowledge, I felt a deep sense of duty to help them out. You see, my whole mission since I began my work as a Love Coach was simply to bridge the gap between women and men that leads them to so misunderstand one another. I began by helping women to understand what men want better. But then, men wanted to understand women better too, so I thought that it was only fair to help them too.

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My one-to-one coaching work with men then took off as one told another how much he’d learned, and soon I’d decided to run workshops (stay tuned for those coming soon to an area near you). But, as I can’t be everywhere, I started to look for ways to share this knowledge quicker. I wrote and published a book helping women and am now working on a similar book for men. But until that’s done, I’m sharing the knowledge that I have here in this and other similar blogs that men like to read for this kind of information.

So, here are some quick tips on how to create a date that she’ll never forget (whether for Valentine’s Day or another special occasion).

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1. Surprise her.

There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man who can create a special date entirely without asking her any questions, especially if he makes it a surprise. For practical, calendar-organizing purposes, I suggest booking that time in her calendar in advance (just to make sure she leaves it free for you), whether during the day or in the evening. Then, go about creating your plan, and make it a time when she doesn’t have to be concerned with making any choices other than, possibly, what she should order – if you know your lady very well, you can potentially even surprise her with your choice on that subject too (if she’s the type that would enjoy giving that control to you for this scenario). Make the day a mystery to her. Of course, keep this within the limits of what you presume she’d enjoy. Most women love to be surprised and pampered every once in a while, allowing their man to take control of creating that great atmosphere. Plus, you creating this safe atmosphere for her to relax and enjoy will make you seem more manly and proactive in her eyes, which will then allow her to surrender into her femininity.

2. Create an experience instead of just handing her a gift or flowers.

Don’t get me wrong- gifts and flowers are amazing (and very few women don’t like them), but allow them to be just a part of the experience. If you know something special that would really excite her or that she’d love to receive, by all means give it to her – but include it in the experience. This could mean creating a build-up to the moment when she receives the gift, which means the anticipation will build and make the gift itself into something more interesting than just a present. Or, it could mean taking her out for an experience that you can enjoy together and bond further around, such as seeing a special exhibition together, going dancing, going to a show that touches both of you (or makes you both laugh), or experiencing something else involving both of you together.

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3. Give her your full attention.

When you’re with her, really make her feel special by paying attention to her fully. Do not be distracted by other thoughts, other people, or even by your phone. Make her feel that she is the only one who you are thinking of and who you want to be sharing that moment with. Every woman dreams of the man who is so attentive to her that he doesn’t even feel the need to pay attention to the outside world. Imagine how special and memorable you’ll be to her when you become that man; it will right away make you seem that much more attractive in her eyes. So, look into her eyes and make her feel that she’s the only woman you notice in that moment. This means no phones, no work calls, no other occupations, and definitely no checking for sport scores or checking out other women!

    4. Be thankful for her presence in your life.

    Even though you are the one creating the amazing atmosphere and potentially giving her a gift or flowers, thank her for being the incredible woman that she is. Imagine how good you’ll make her feel when you tell her how much you appreciate having her in your life. You can take that even further by telling her exactly what you most appreciate about her. It is an unfortunate fact of life that we often forget to show true appreciation to our partners and that we often walk around feeling under-appreciated. You telling her how special you feel she is will result in her realizing even more what a wonderful man she has by her side, a man who truly sees her for her best. It will make her even more devoted to being with you and to making you feel pretty wonderful too. Showing genuine appreciation for her will not only create a special atmosphere between the two of you but will also make this into an amazing day that she will remember for years to come (the added bonus being that she will share how great a man you are with her friends, who will then reaffirm how lucky she feels to have you in her life).

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    5. Do your best to make her feel extra-special.

    Whatever your interests are, and whatever you plan for the day or evening, it will always go best if you put thought and intention into making her feel extra-special. Do your best, genuinely, and put yourself into her shoes while considering what she would like and what would make her feel really good. Consider what will give her the greatest pleasure, and fill her day or evening with joy. If this is a special occasion and you are thinking of giving her flowers or a gift, that’s great, but maybe add some special flair into that gift. For example, you can give her a beautiful plant instead of the flowers and send a message that as it blooms and grows, so do your feelings for her. That may sound cheesy, but believe me, she’ll ooo and aahh about it with her friends or family. If she is at work, you can have a bouquet of flowers delivered with a romantic note regarding what’s to come that evening. You can even have a mysterious note delivered to her workplace asking her to come out for a second. Then, hand her a special gift. Or, you can include a promise of the special gift coming later that day. If you want this special day to be memorable, create a gesture that she will never forget.

      Julia Keller is a Transformational Love Coach who empowers women and men to be the creators of their ideal love life. Julia has studied what makes some succeed in love while others don’t, and she has used her knowledge to help her clients towards their own personal love success stories. You can see more from Julia Keller on her website: www.juliakeller.co.uk. Follow her on Twitter: @JuliaKellerUK, on Facebook and Instagram: @coachjuliakeller and on YouTube (search Julia Keller Coaching). To schedule a free 30-minute Love Tune Up call, go to Julia’s website, or click this link: https://attractauthenticlove.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=1926282 

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      Julia Keller

      Transformational Love Coach

      How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

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      Last Updated on May 22, 2020

      What Makes a Good Leader: 9 Critical Leadership Qualities

      What Makes a Good Leader: 9 Critical Leadership Qualities

      The word “leader” makes you think of people in charge, high-ranking people: your boss, politicians, presidents, CEOs…

      But leadership really isn’t about a particular position or a person’s seniority. Just because someone has worked for many years doesn’t mean s/he has gained the qualities and skills to lead a team.

      Getting promoted to a managerial position doesn’t automatically turn you into a leader either. CEOs and other high-ranking officials don’t always have great leadership skills.

      So what makes a good leader? What are the characteristics of a leader?

      Good leadership is about acquiring and honing specific skills. Leadership skills enable you to be a role model for a team in any environment. With great leadership qualities, successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes: in the home, at school, or in the workplace.

      The following are some of the many characteristics great leaders exhibit.

      1. A Positive Attitude

      Great leaders know that they won’t have a happy and motivated team unless they themselves exhibit a positive attitude. This can be done by remaining positive when things go wrong and by creating a relaxed and happy atmosphere in the workplace.

      Even some simple things like providing snacks or organizing a team Happy Hour can make a world of difference. An added perk is that team members are likely to work harder and do overtime when needed if they’re happy and appreciated.

      Even in the worst situations, such as experiencing low team morale or team members having made a big mistake at work, a great leader stays positive and figures out ways to keep the team motivated to solve the problems.

      Walt Disney had his share of hardships and challenges, and like any great leader, he managed to stay positive and find new opportunities. In 1928, Disney found that his film producer, Charles Mintz, wanted to reduce his payments for the Oswald series. Mintz threatened to cut ties entirely if Disney didn’t accept his terms, and Disney chose to part ways. But in leaving Oswald, Disney decided to create something new: the iconic Mickey Mouse[1].

      The key is to break down huge challenges into smaller ones and find ways to tackle them one by one.

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      Think about the lessons you can learn from the mistake and jot them down because sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.

      2. Confidence

      All great leaders have to exhibit an air of confidence if they’re going to succeed. Please don’t confuse this with self-satisfaction and arrogance. You want people to look up to you for inspiration, not so they can punch you in the face.

      Confidence is important because people will be looking to you on how to behave, particularly if things aren’t going 100% right. If you remain calm and poised, team members are far more likely to as well. As a result, morale and productivity will remain high, and the problem will be solved more quickly.

      If you panic and give up, they will know immediately and things will simply go downhill from there.

      Elon Musk is a great example of a leader with confidence. He truly believes that Tesla will be successful, which he has shown many times through his actions. He converted 532,000 stock options at $6.63 each, their value on Dec. 4, 2009, before Tesla went public. It was a hefty bargain considering Tesla’s stock price stood at around $195 per share at that time. He doesn’t apologize for his beliefs and has drawn fire from just about everyone for his political actions.

      You can’t instantly become a very confident person, but all the small things you do every day will gradually make you more confident:

      • List 5 things you like about yourself every day (something different every day), and you’ll appreciate yourself more.
      • Work on your strengths and do your best to enhance them.

      3. A Sense of Humor

      It’s imperative for any kind of leader to have a sense of humor, particularly when things go wrong. And they will.

      Your team members are going to be looking to you for how to react in a seemingly dire situation. It would probably be best if you weren’t stringing up a noose for yourself in the corner. You need to be able to laugh things off because if staff morale goes down, so will productivity.

      Establish this environment prior to any kind of meltdown by encouraging humor and personal discussions in the workplace.

      As a president, Barack Obama exuded confidence and calm during stressful situations. But he was also known for his “dad jokes,”[2] his genuinely funny speeches at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and appearing on Zack Galifianakis’s Between Two Ferns.[3] Obama’s sense of humor made him grounded, realistic, and honest, which no doubt helped during some tense moments in the White House!

      Learn to laugh at yourself. Confident people laugh about their own silly mistakes, and when you do this, others will also trust you more because you’re willing to share your experiences.

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      Be observant and learn from the jokes others make. You can also get a lot of inspiration from the internet.

      4. Ability to Embrace Failure

      No matter how hard you try to avoid it, failures will happen; that’s okay. You just need to know how to deal with them.

      Great leaders take them in strides. They remain calm and logically think through the situation and utilize their resources. What they don’t do is fall apart and reveal to their team how worried they are, which leads to negative morale, fear, and binge-drinking under desks.

      Great leaders do, in fact, lead, even when they’re faced with setbacks.

      Henry Ford experienced a major setback after designing and improving the Ford Quadricycle. He founded the Detroit Automobile Company in 1899, but the resulting cars they produced did not live up to his standards and were too expensive. The company dissolved in 1901. Ford took this in stride and formed the Henry Ford Company. The sales were slow and the company had financial problems; it wasn’t until 1903 that the Ford Motor Company was successful and put the Ford on the map.

      Get to the root cause of any problem so you can prevent it from happening again and learn from the mistake.

      By asking “why” 5 times (or more) on why something happened, you can find out the key factor that caused the problem and can find the best solution to tackle the problem.

      You’ll also learn how to prevent this from happening again in the future after finding out a problem’s root cause.

      5. Careful Listening and Feedback

      This is far more complex than it actually sounds. Good communication skills are essential for a great leader. You may very well understand the cave of crazy that is your brain, but that doesn’t mean that you can adequately take the ideas out of it and explain them to someone else.

      The best leaders need to be able to communicate clearly with the people around them. They also need to be able to interpret other people properly and not take what they say personally.

      The Dalai Lama, as a symbol of the unification of the state of Tibet, represents and practices Buddhist values. The Dalai Lama’s leadership is benevolent and aims toward truth and understanding, alongside the other Buddhist precepts. This is a great example for all leaders: if you want to give good directions to others, you have to get feedback from others to understand the situation properly.

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      Encourage communication between team members and establish an open door policy.

      Practice not interrupting team members when they’re talking. Instead, summarize what they say and ask for feedback after you have talked about your ideas.

      6. Knowing How and When to Delegate

      No matter how much you might want to, you can’t actually do everything yourself. Even if you could, in a team environment that would be a terrible idea anyway.

      Good leaders recognize that delegation does more than simply alleviate their own stress levels (although that’s obviously a nice perk). Delegating to others shows that you have confidence in their abilities, which subsequently results in higher morale in the workplace, as well as loyalty from your staff. They want to feel appreciated and trusted.

      Although Steve Jobs was known for focusing in on the smallest of details, he knew how to delegate. By finding, cultivating, and trusting capable team members, Jobs was able to make Apple run smoothly, even when he had to be absent for extended periods of time.

      To know when and how to delegate work to team members, you have to be very familiar with each of them:

      • List out all of their strengths, weaknesses, and personalities.
      • Talk with your team members more to know about their passion and interests.

      Take a look at this guide and learn more about delegation: How to Delegate Work Effectively (The Definitive Guide for Leaders)

      7. Growth Mindset

      Any good leader knows how important it is to develop the skills of those around them. The best can recognize those skills early on. Not only will development make work easier as they improve and grow, it will also foster morale. In addition, they may develop some skills that you don’t possess that will be beneficial to the workplace.

      Great leaders share their knowledge with the team and give them the opportunity to achieve. This is how leaders gain their respect and loyalty.

      Pope Francis has been unusually popular with many Catholics and many non-Catholics. His position isn’t totally traditional, which is part of his appeal, but he also has admirable leadership skills. Pope Francis’s TED talk[4] drew attention because he encouraged leaders to be humble and to demonstrate solidarity with others. This inclusive, kind, and respectful style of leadership is incredibly important for any situation.

      It’s important to spend time talking with other team members individually to understand them.

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      Find out team members’ current challenges and try to give feedback and encouragement so they will grow and do better.

      8. Responsibility

      Great leaders know that when it comes to their company, work place or whatever situation they’re in, they need to take personal responsibility for failure. How can they expect employees to hold themselves accountable if they themselves don’t?

      The best leaders don’t make excuses; they take the blame and then work out how to fix the problem as soon as possible. This proves that they’re trustworthy and possess integrity.

      Howard Gillman is the chancellor of UC Irvine. You might have heard of how the university rescinded a bunch of acceptances, and then changed its mind[5], This past spring, an unusually high number of accepted students decided to matriculate; the school initially responded by rescinding offers over things like missed deadlines. But the college realized this was a mistake and reversed its decision. Gillman and the university accepted responsibility and decided to move past their earlier bad decision.

      Always ask yourself what you can do better or what you should change. Take responsibility and think about what you can do better to prevent this from happening next time.

      9. A Desire to Learn

      It’s safe to say that all great leaders will have to enter unchartered waters at some point during their career. Because of this, they have to be able to trust their intuition and draw on past experiences to guide them.

      Great leaders know that there’s always something to learn from everything they have experienced before. They are able to connect the present challenges with the lessons learned in the past to make decisions and take actions promptly.

      You can either recall what you’ve learned from your memories or search your notes (ideally, a software that you can access anywhere with things well-organized).

      Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, has mostly made the right calls. But in dealing with huge amounts of money, Buffett has also made several multi-million (and sometimes multi-billion) dollar mistakes. He has stated that buying the company Berkshire Hathaway was his biggest mistake[6]. From that poor choice, he realized that it was unwise to pursue “improvements” and “expansions” in the existing textile industry. Despite mistakes like this, Buffett has invested wisely, and it shows.

      To effectively learn from the past, write down lessons you’ve learned from any mistakes you’ve made. Have all the lessons well organized, and when similar things happen again in future, take these lessons as references.

      The Bottom Line

      Leadership traits are learnable. If you practice consistently, you can be a great leader, too.

      Make small changes to your habits when you work with your team, wherever that may be. Most of us aren’t presidents or CEOs, but we all work with other people, and our actions always impact others. This gives every person the chance to develop leadership skills and to stand out from the crowd.

      More Tips on Leadership

      Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

      Reference

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