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How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

If you’re reading this, I’m pretty sure it’s because you want to create that amazing date to impress that special woman in your life, possibly for Valentine’s Day or maybe another special occasion (such as her birthday or your anniversary). Well, as a woman who’s been out on quite a few dates myself (some of them so wonderfully memorable that I still tell my girlfriends about them), and as a Love Coach who has worked with quite a few amazing women, I’m pretty well-versed on what women want to see from the men in their lives.

I’ve recently began to share these incredible insights that few men are privy to with some very nice men who begged me for help and who have become my Love Coaching clients. Upon witnessing their desperation for knowledge, I felt a deep sense of duty to help them out. You see, my whole mission since I began my work as a Love Coach was simply to bridge the gap between women and men that leads them to so misunderstand one another. I began by helping women to understand what men want better. But then, men wanted to understand women better too, so I thought that it was only fair to help them too.

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My one-to-one coaching work with men then took off as one told another how much he’d learned, and soon I’d decided to run workshops (stay tuned for those coming soon to an area near you). But, as I can’t be everywhere, I started to look for ways to share this knowledge quicker. I wrote and published a book helping women and am now working on a similar book for men. But until that’s done, I’m sharing the knowledge that I have here in this and other similar blogs that men like to read for this kind of information.

So, here are some quick tips on how to create a date that she’ll never forget (whether for Valentine’s Day or another special occasion).

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1. Surprise her.

There is nothing sexier for a woman than a man who can create a special date entirely without asking her any questions, especially if he makes it a surprise. For practical, calendar-organizing purposes, I suggest booking that time in her calendar in advance (just to make sure she leaves it free for you), whether during the day or in the evening. Then, go about creating your plan, and make it a time when she doesn’t have to be concerned with making any choices other than, possibly, what she should order – if you know your lady very well, you can potentially even surprise her with your choice on that subject too (if she’s the type that would enjoy giving that control to you for this scenario). Make the day a mystery to her. Of course, keep this within the limits of what you presume she’d enjoy. Most women love to be surprised and pampered every once in a while, allowing their man to take control of creating that great atmosphere. Plus, you creating this safe atmosphere for her to relax and enjoy will make you seem more manly and proactive in her eyes, which will then allow her to surrender into her femininity.

2. Create an experience instead of just handing her a gift or flowers.

Don’t get me wrong- gifts and flowers are amazing (and very few women don’t like them), but allow them to be just a part of the experience. If you know something special that would really excite her or that she’d love to receive, by all means give it to her – but include it in the experience. This could mean creating a build-up to the moment when she receives the gift, which means the anticipation will build and make the gift itself into something more interesting than just a present. Or, it could mean taking her out for an experience that you can enjoy together and bond further around, such as seeing a special exhibition together, going dancing, going to a show that touches both of you (or makes you both laugh), or experiencing something else involving both of you together.

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3. Give her your full attention.

When you’re with her, really make her feel special by paying attention to her fully. Do not be distracted by other thoughts, other people, or even by your phone. Make her feel that she is the only one who you are thinking of and who you want to be sharing that moment with. Every woman dreams of the man who is so attentive to her that he doesn’t even feel the need to pay attention to the outside world. Imagine how special and memorable you’ll be to her when you become that man; it will right away make you seem that much more attractive in her eyes. So, look into her eyes and make her feel that she’s the only woman you notice in that moment. This means no phones, no work calls, no other occupations, and definitely no checking for sport scores or checking out other women!

    4. Be thankful for her presence in your life.

    Even though you are the one creating the amazing atmosphere and potentially giving her a gift or flowers, thank her for being the incredible woman that she is. Imagine how good you’ll make her feel when you tell her how much you appreciate having her in your life. You can take that even further by telling her exactly what you most appreciate about her. It is an unfortunate fact of life that we often forget to show true appreciation to our partners and that we often walk around feeling under-appreciated. You telling her how special you feel she is will result in her realizing even more what a wonderful man she has by her side, a man who truly sees her for her best. It will make her even more devoted to being with you and to making you feel pretty wonderful too. Showing genuine appreciation for her will not only create a special atmosphere between the two of you but will also make this into an amazing day that she will remember for years to come (the added bonus being that she will share how great a man you are with her friends, who will then reaffirm how lucky she feels to have you in her life).

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    5. Do your best to make her feel extra-special.

    Whatever your interests are, and whatever you plan for the day or evening, it will always go best if you put thought and intention into making her feel extra-special. Do your best, genuinely, and put yourself into her shoes while considering what she would like and what would make her feel really good. Consider what will give her the greatest pleasure, and fill her day or evening with joy. If this is a special occasion and you are thinking of giving her flowers or a gift, that’s great, but maybe add some special flair into that gift. For example, you can give her a beautiful plant instead of the flowers and send a message that as it blooms and grows, so do your feelings for her. That may sound cheesy, but believe me, she’ll ooo and aahh about it with her friends or family. If she is at work, you can have a bouquet of flowers delivered with a romantic note regarding what’s to come that evening. You can even have a mysterious note delivered to her workplace asking her to come out for a second. Then, hand her a special gift. Or, you can include a promise of the special gift coming later that day. If you want this special day to be memorable, create a gesture that she will never forget.

      Julia Keller is a Transformational Love Coach who empowers women and men to be the creators of their ideal love life. Julia has studied what makes some succeed in love while others don’t, and she has used her knowledge to help her clients towards their own personal love success stories. You can see more from Julia Keller on her website: www.juliakeller.co.uk. Follow her on Twitter: @JuliaKellerUK, on Facebook and Instagram: @coachjuliakeller and on YouTube (search Julia Keller Coaching). To schedule a free 30-minute Love Tune Up call, go to Julia’s website, or click this link: https://attractauthenticlove.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=1926282 

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      Julia Keller

      Transformational Love Coach

      How to Create a Date She Never Forgets

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      Last Updated on October 14, 2020

      Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

      Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

      Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

      “Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

      It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

      You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

      Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

      Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

      Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

      1. Make a Gratitude List

      In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

      Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

      Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

      What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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      The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

      Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

      2. Write in a Journal

      Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

      All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

      Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

      However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

      3. Meditate

      Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

      Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

      Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

      Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

      Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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      Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

      Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

      4. Do Child’s Pose

      Yoga Outlet says:

      “Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

      When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

      It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

      To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

      Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

         

        Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

        5. Try Positive Self-Talk

        Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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        When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

        Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

        When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

        When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

        Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

        6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

        Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

        You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

        It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

        Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

        If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

        7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

        “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

        If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

        You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

        When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

        If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

        Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

        Final Thoughts

        If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

        Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

        You can invest in yourself via self-care.

        You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

        More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

        Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

        Reference

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