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To Have Better Control Of Your Life, Remember To Focus On Your Own

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To Have Better Control Of Your Life, Remember To Focus On Your Own

People say you can’t control much in life. Partly true.

You can’t control 100% about what happens in your life, but you can choose how to live with them. This is what differentiates successful people from unsuccessful ones.

This seems to be easier said than done. Indeed we need some concrete ways to do so. Below are 5 tips to help you focus on yourself and have a more fulfilling life.

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1. Measure what you can control, don’t obsess over what you can’t.

When working towards a difficult goal, it’s easy to fall short of the targets you set for yourself. That’s because you’re setting the wrong targets. You might be thinking, “I should have a new job in two weeks’ time,” when a more helpful goal would be, “I should send out 10 job applications this week.” By measuring what you can control, rather than what you can’t, you’ll feel more empowered.

The act of measuring something turns a scary unknown into something real and quantifiable [1]. Instead of feeling lost and confused about why you’re not achieving your goals, you can consult your measurements and see where you might be falling short.

2. Stop blaming others for your problems.

Life owes you nothing. It’s a harsh truth, but accepting it will give you the motivation to create the life you really want, without expecting it to be handed to you [2].

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Next time you find yourself thinking, “Life is so unfair,” stop. Ditch the victim mentality, and focus instead on actions you can take to change your situation. If you’re unhappy with your weight, take the first step and sign up to a gym. If you hate your job, start sending out applications. It’s down to you to create the life you want.

3. Be proactive, not reactive.

Do you go through life only taking action when you really need to? You’re not alone, as most of us behave in a reactive way, even though it doesn’t help us. There’s a theory that explains the four stages of motivation, and the higher you are, the more successful you’ll be [3].

1. You’re motivated by fear. You act only to avoid punishment or negative consequences.

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2. You’re motivated by reward. You take action when there’s something you’ll get in return.

3. You’re motivated by duty. Fear and reward no longer play a part in your decisions to act, and you’re on the way to success.

4. You’re motivated by love. You aim to bring as much happiness to the world as possible, and you no longer worry about your own needs. This is the level you’re aiming for.

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Next time you catch yourself being motivated by fear, or by the desire for a reward, stop and think about your true motivations. What do you really want to achieve? Once you’ve worked that out, you’ll be ready to take proactive action to get there.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to damage your self-esteem [4]. No matter what you achieve, you’ll always find someone who has done more or done it better. This behaviour is completely self-defeating, and won’t help you achieve anything. Focus on achieving your personal goals, rather than basing your self-worth on external factors.

5. Be your own biggest supporter.

While support from others is great, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. When working to create the life you want, you might find that friends and family cast doubts on your plans. Remember that nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and work on becoming your own biggest supporter.

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Changing your mindset truly can change your life. Stop blaming your problems on external factors, and start taking control of your actions.

Reference

More by this author

Eloise Best

Eloise is an everyday health expert and runs My Vegan Supermarket, a vegan blog and database of supermarket products.

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Last Updated on January 13, 2022

How to Use Travel Time Effectively

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How to Use Travel Time Effectively

Most of us associate travel and time with what we’re going to do one we get to our destination. Planning and mapping out what to do once you arrive can certainly make for a more pleasurable vacation, but there are things you can do while you are on your way that can make it even better.

Sure, you can plan for the things you’re going to do on your vacation while you are travelling en route – but what about making use of that time for other things that you don’t usually do when you’re at home? You don’t need to have your gadgets with you to do it, and you can really connect with yourself if you take the time to manage your life while heading towards your vacation destination.

Here are some great tips to help you with your time management while you travel, some of which are more conventional than others. Nonetheless, you can find out what works best for you and apply them accordingly depending on when and how you are travelling.

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1. Take Your Time Getting There

As I write this, I’m on a flight to San Francisco. Flying is the fastest way to get from place to place, and for many people it’s really the only way to travel.

But I’ve often taken the train or ferry on trips so that I have extra time without distraction to get more done. I’m not worrying about navigation or lack of space to do what I want to do. Instead I’m able to focus on getting stuff done during the time I’ve got without feeling rushed. For example, when I took the train from Vancouver to Portland, it was an eight hour trip and I managed to get a ton of writing done and closed a lot of open loops. It also was less expensive than flying, which was a bonus.

Sometimes taking the long way to get somewhere on vacation can be the best thing for you to get somewhere with your life.

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2. Go Gadget-Free

This is going to be a tough one for a lot of you. But why do you need to bring your gadgets with you when you go on vacation? It isn’t be a bad idea to leave all but one of them behind, and only pull out that one when you absolutely need to do so. In some countries, you’d be wise to be discreet with them anyway since flaunting them in front of those that are less fortunate than you isn’t a good practice. While it may not seem like flaunting to you, in different cultures it can definitely come across that way.

If you can’t go gadget-free, then at least go Internet-free. If you use a task management app that requires syncing across your multiple devices to be effective, remember that if you only have the one device with you then it can be the “master device” for the time being and will store your data locally anyway. Just sync up when you get home.

3. Reflect and Prepare

Finally, going on any sort of excursion gives you the perfect opportunity to reflect on where you’ve been. The fact you have removed yourself from where you usually are can give you a perspective that you simply can’t get when you’re at home. You may want to journal your thoughts during this time – and by taking more time to get to your destination you’ll have more time to dig deeper into it.

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After a period of reflection – however long that happens to be – you can then begin to not only prepare for the rest of your travels, you can prepare for the rest of what happens afterward. The reflection period is important, though. You need to really know where you’ve been in order to properly look at where you want to be. Time away from things gives you that chance.

Conclusion

Traveling isn’t always about where you’re going and how quickly you can get there. In fact, it’s rarely about that at all.

More often it’s where you’re at in your head that will dictate how much you benefit from traveling. So don’t just go somewhere fast. Instead, take your time on the way there and take the time to connect with not only where you are but who are while you’re there.

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If you do that, you’ll have a better chance to be who you want to be when you leave.

Featured photo credit: bruce mars via unsplash.com

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