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To Have Better Control Of Your Life, Remember To Focus On Your Own

To Have Better Control Of Your Life, Remember To Focus On Your Own

People say you can’t control much in life. Partly true.

You can’t control 100% about what happens in your life, but you can choose how to live with them. This is what differentiates successful people from unsuccessful ones.

This seems to be easier said than done. Indeed we need some concrete ways to do so. Below are 5 tips to help you focus on yourself and have a more fulfilling life.

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1. Measure what you can control, don’t obsess over what you can’t.

When working towards a difficult goal, it’s easy to fall short of the targets you set for yourself. That’s because you’re setting the wrong targets. You might be thinking, “I should have a new job in two weeks’ time,” when a more helpful goal would be, “I should send out 10 job applications this week.” By measuring what you can control, rather than what you can’t, you’ll feel more empowered.

The act of measuring something turns a scary unknown into something real and quantifiable [1]. Instead of feeling lost and confused about why you’re not achieving your goals, you can consult your measurements and see where you might be falling short.

2. Stop blaming others for your problems.

Life owes you nothing. It’s a harsh truth, but accepting it will give you the motivation to create the life you really want, without expecting it to be handed to you [2].

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Next time you find yourself thinking, “Life is so unfair,” stop. Ditch the victim mentality, and focus instead on actions you can take to change your situation. If you’re unhappy with your weight, take the first step and sign up to a gym. If you hate your job, start sending out applications. It’s down to you to create the life you want.

3. Be proactive, not reactive.

Do you go through life only taking action when you really need to? You’re not alone, as most of us behave in a reactive way, even though it doesn’t help us. There’s a theory that explains the four stages of motivation, and the higher you are, the more successful you’ll be [3].

1. You’re motivated by fear. You act only to avoid punishment or negative consequences.

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2. You’re motivated by reward. You take action when there’s something you’ll get in return.

3. You’re motivated by duty. Fear and reward no longer play a part in your decisions to act, and you’re on the way to success.

4. You’re motivated by love. You aim to bring as much happiness to the world as possible, and you no longer worry about your own needs. This is the level you’re aiming for.

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Next time you catch yourself being motivated by fear, or by the desire for a reward, stop and think about your true motivations. What do you really want to achieve? Once you’ve worked that out, you’ll be ready to take proactive action to get there.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest ways to damage your self-esteem [4]. No matter what you achieve, you’ll always find someone who has done more or done it better. This behaviour is completely self-defeating, and won’t help you achieve anything. Focus on achieving your personal goals, rather than basing your self-worth on external factors.

5. Be your own biggest supporter.

While support from others is great, the only person you can truly count on is yourself. When working to create the life you want, you might find that friends and family cast doubts on your plans. Remember that nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and work on becoming your own biggest supporter.

Changing your mindset truly can change your life. Stop blaming your problems on external factors, and start taking control of your actions.

Reference

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Eloise Best

Content Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

16 Productivity Secrets of Highly Successful People Revealed

16 Productivity Secrets of Highly Successful People Revealed

The same old motivational secrets don’t really motivate you after you’ve read them for the tenth time, do they?

How about a unique spin on things?

These 16 productivity secrets of successful people will make you reevaluate your approach to your home, work, and creative lives. Learn from these highly successful people, turn these little things they do into your daily habits and you’ll get closer to success.

1. Empty your mind.

It sounds counterproductive, doesn’t it?

Emptying your mind when you have so much to remember seems like you’re just begging to forget something. Instead, this gives you a clean slate so you’re not still thinking about last week’s tasks.

Clear your mind and then start thinking only about what you need to do immediately, and then today. Tasks that need to be accomplished later in the week can wait.

Here’s a guide to help you empty your mind and think sharper:

How to Declutter Your Mind to Sharpen Your Brain and Fall Asleep Faster

2. Keep certain days clear.

Some companies are scheduling “No Meeting Wednesdays,” which means, funnily enough, that no one can hold a meeting on a Wednesday. This gives workers a full day to work on their own tasks, without getting sidetracked by other duties or pointless meetings.

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This can work in your personal life too, for example if you need to restrict Facebook access or limit phone calls.

3. Prioritize your work.

Don’t think every task is created equal! Some tasks aren’t as important as others, or might take less time.

Try to sort your tasks every day and see what can be done quickly and efficiently. Get these out of the way so you have more free time and brain power to focus on what is more important.

Lifehack’s CEO has a unique way to prioritize works, take a look at it here:

How to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster

4. Chop up your time.

Many successful business leaders chop their time up into fifteen-minute intervals. This means they work on tasks for a quarter of an hour at a time, or schedule meetings for only fifteen minutes. It makes each hour seem four times as long, which leads to more productivity!

5. Have a thinking position.

Truman Capote claimed he couldn’t think unless he was laying down. Proust did this as well, while Stravinsky would stand on his head!

What works for others may not work for you. Try to find a spot and position that is perfect for you to brainstorm or come up with ideas.

6. Pick three to five things you must do that day.

To Do lists can get overwhelming very quickly. Instead of making a never-ending list of everything you can think of that needs to be done, make daily lists that include just three to five things.

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Make sure they’re things that need to be done that day, so you don’t keep putting them off.

7. Don’t try to do too much.

OK, so I just told you to work every day, and now I’m telling you to not do too much? It might sound like conflicting advice, but not doing too much means not biting off more than you can chew. Don’t say yes to every work project or social engagement and find yourself in way over your head.

8. Have a daily action plan.

Don’t limit yourself to a to-do list! Take ten minutes every morning to map out a daily action plan. It’s a place to not only write what needs to be done that day, but also to prioritize what will bring the biggest reward, what will take the longest, and what goals will be accomplished.

Leave room for a “brain dump,” where you can scribble down anything else that’s on your mind.

9. Do your most dreaded project first.

Getting your most dreaded task over with first means you’ll have the rest of the day free for anything and everything else. This also means that you won’t be constantly putting off the worst of your projects, making it even harder to start on it later.

10. Follow the “Two-Minute Rule.”

The “Two-Minute Rule” was made famous by David Allen. It’s simple – if a new task comes in and it can be done in two minutes or less, do it right then. Putting it off just adds to your to-do list and will make the task seem more monumental later.

11. Have a place devoted to work.

If you work in an office, it’s no problem to say that your cubicle desk is where you work every day.

But if you work from home, make sure you have a certain area specifically for work. You don’t want files spread out all over the dinner table, and you don’t want to feel like you’re not working just because you’re relaxing on the couch.

Agatha Christie never wrote at her desk, she wrote wherever she could sit down. Ernest Hemingway wrote standing up. Thomas Wolfe, at 6’6″ tall, used the top of his refrigerator as a desk. Richard Wright wrote on a park bench, rain or shine.

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Have a space where, when you go there, you know you’re going to work. Maybe it’s a cafe downstairs, the library, or a meeting room. Whenever and wherever works for you, do your works there.

12. Find your golden hour.

You don’t have to stick to a “typical” 9–5 schedule!

Novelist Anne Rice slept during the day and wrote at night to avoid distractions. Writer Jerzy Kosinski slept eight hours a day, but never all at once. He’d wake in the morning, work, sleep four hours in the afternoon, then work more that evening.

Your golden hour is the time when you’re at your peak. You’re alert, ready to be productive, and intent on crossing things off your to-do list.

Once you find your best time, protect it with all your might. Make sure you’re always free to do your best uninterrupted work at this time.

13. Pretend you’re on an airplane.

It might not be possible to lock everyone out of your office to get some peace and quiet, but you can eliminate some distractions.

By pretending you’re on an airplane, you can act like your internet access is limited, you’re not able to get something from your bookcase, and you can’t make countless phone calls.

Eliminating these distractions will help you focus on your most important tasks and get them done without interruption.

14. Never stop.

Writers Anthony Trollope and Henry James started writing their next books as soon as they finished their current work in progress.

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Stephen King writes every day of the year, and holds himself accountable for 2,000 words a day! Mark Twain wrote every day, and then read his day’s work aloud to his family to get their feedback.

There’s something to be said about working nonstop, and putting out continuous work instead of taking a break. It’s just a momentum that will push you go further./

15. Be in tune with your body.

Your mind and body will get tired of a task after ninety minutes to two hours focused on it. Keep this in mind as you assign projects to yourself throughout the day, and take breaks to ensure that you won’t get burned out.

16. Try different methods.

Vladimir Nabokov wrote the first drafts of his novels on index cards. This made it easy to rearrange sentences, paragraphs, and chapters by shuffling the cards around.

It does sound easier, and more fun, than copying and pasting in Word! Once Nabokov liked the arrangement, his wife typed them into a single manuscript.

Same for you, don’t give up and think that it’s impossible for you to be productive when one method fails. Try different methods until you find what works perfectly for you.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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