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Anxiety Isn’t About Worrying Too Much, But Caring Too Much

Anxiety Isn’t About Worrying Too Much, But Caring Too Much

Are you the family worrier? The one who analyses every situation and measures all its innumerable outcomes? Do you find it difficult to say no to people? Are you anal about people not texting back? Do you think people don’t like you, and that all your relationships are simply doomed to fail? Do you imagine scenarios of loss and death? Do you have a hard time trying to let go of things?

If you have answered yes to more than three questions, chances are that you might be suffering from a form of anxiety disorder. And to those who pooh-pooh at anxiety, remember that it is much more than just worrying…

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1. Anxiety is the pursuit of perfection.

There’s a difference in wanting to be perfect at something, and wanting to be viewed as perfect. People with anxiety have a compulsion not only to do things perfectly but more importantly, they have a need to be thought of as perfect.[1] They want everyone to think of them as these beautiful overachievers who have so much in life – and when this doesn’t happen, they enter a cycle of negativity and vicious self-castigation. Every time you find yourself thinking that you will never be good enough, change the statement to you are good enough

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2. Anxiety is caring, a little too much.

We all love various people in our lives to varying degrees. Sometimes though, when our love enters the stifling territory in that we are smothering the other person with our love, concern and over-care – it makes us anxious. We want our loved one to be happy, to be safe and to thrive without harm. We do what we can to achieve this, many a time earning the resentment of the very person we are trying to “love”. Our extreme emotions can lead us to become overanxious and overzealous about the object of our affections and so we imagine drastic scenarios in which that person is hurt, harmed or even dead and start working up ourselves into a state of anxious frenzy or a panic attack.[2] The next time you are smothering someone with love, take a conscious step back. Notice your mistake, and ease yourself back a bit – everything will be okay is your mantra.

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3. Anxiety is trying to control things because we feel a spiraling loss of control ourselves.

Having anxiety is like being on a superfast train to nowhere. The thoughts and the regrets pile one on top of the other, turning the mind into mush and sending the heart into palpitations galore. We feel like everything in our life is falling to pieces and try as we might, we cannot sort through it all. Which is why people with anxiety tend to come across as control freaks. They keep the reins tight because if they lose it, they lose it epic.[3] Meditation comes in handy – just five minutes of steady in and out breathing can help you weather the storm much better.

4. Anxiety is being restless day and night.

Imagine having a mind in which thoughts run rampant like meteor showers. You are thinking about this and that, worrying about everything A to Z in your life and trying to reach a calm and restful place in the head. This continuous on-the-edge feeling is one of the main characteristics of anxiety.[4]. One of the best strategies to deal with the times you cannot sit still or keep your thoughts from racing is to go for a run…

Remember that anxiety means stress and too much stress can run you down, mentally and physically. Along with keeping up a good eating and exercising routine, seek professional help whenever you feel that your mind has become an anxious muddle.

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Reference

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Rima Pundir

Health, Wellness & Productivity Writer

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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