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When You Take Full Responsibility Of Your Life, You’ll Find Success

When You Take Full Responsibility Of Your Life, You’ll Find Success

Have you ever fallen into a trap of blaming other people, circumstances, or even destiny, for the things that are not working out the way you planned? Don’t worry we all have. It’s easier to blame someone or something else than it is to take responsibility and actually work on improving ourselves. The work towards self-improvement isn’t easy, it requires a lot of time and dedication. It gets easier once we become aware of our own responsibility, and we do something about it. In order to truly become mindful and accountable, we first need do away with unhealthy beliefs.

Your thoughts are standing in the way of your success

It may seem a bit harsh, but it’s the way it is. If you think about it, you’ll probably find some evidence of this in your daily life. You may have a colleague at work that you don’t particularly like, for example. Your thoughts about this person are negative, and each time you see him or her, you repeat that thought process. As a result, each time you interact with this person, the outcome is always a negative one. It seems to confirm your beliefs about him. In fact, it is your thoughts presenting this person in a negative light.  By projecting negative feelings onto someone, you are expecting the worst, and usually, you get what you expect. If you’d observe this person interacting with someone else, you might be surprised at how different the outcome is. Changing our perspective changes the circumstances by which we know people. This may take some time to practice, but once you see the initial results, you will be eager to observe your thoughts and look for positive ones.

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Life doesn’t owe you anything

We have all been there – Our goals set and our hopes high, yet reality just doesn’t materialize it for us. Then we get frustrated at life because it was supposed to yield to us that career, money, car, house, or soul mate. Actually, it doesn’t work that way. The sooner we realize it, the sooner we get over the initial frustration and start really being proactive. Positive thinking and picturing a good outcome is the first step, but it will only get us so far. In order to actually achieve anything, some action is required. Dreaming big and thinking about our goals being achieved can, in fact, be counterproductive if not done properly.

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An NYU study has shown that people who had been imagining their biggest goals being achieved were having a lot less success when it came to actually working on those goals. During wishful thinking we imagine ourselves achieving goals we think are unattainable. When faced with doing the actions, we give up easily because we actually don’t believe it is possible. In order to master our goals, we have to successfully combine positive thinking and action. When imagining success, set smaller goals that are attainable then take action. The action part is the most difficult, especially if we’ve been passive for too long. If we become aware of the obstacles, our motivation increases, and we are more likely to take some action. Starting small will increase our sense of achievement and build our momentum making it easier to tackle bigger and bigger challenges. You won’t always win, and you won’t always get what you want, but if you keep the positive attitude and don’t give up, you will get where you wanted to be.

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Realizing that life doesn’t owe us anything and that it is our responsibility to make our dreams come true can at first make us frustrated, but soon we will discover that it was actually the point all along. There is no better reward than knowing you have achieved something without anyone’s help.

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Ana Erkic

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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