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If Your Mind Is Always Filled With This Thought, You’ll Be More Successful

If Your Mind Is Always Filled With This Thought, You’ll Be More Successful
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Can you think about the last time you felt really nervous about something important to you? Maybe you needed to speak publicly in front of a room full of people, run a big meeting at the office, or interview for a job with other applicants you feel are much more qualified than you. Whatever it may be, there are countless situations throughout life that will make you feel as small as an ant.

It’s normal to feel inferior from time to time. It’s a struggle that many face. However, there are many people around you who encourage you to stay strong, focused, and positive, and to stand firmly behind what you believe in. If you can hold on to those things, you’re more likely to be successful.

Superiority could be your downfall

    Image credit: happyplacetoons

    It’s true, for the most part, that we’ve all been conditioned to believe that having feelings of inferiority is bad, but I think just the opposite. Many of us have a strong sense of superiority, and that can cause many problems. The root of the problem begins with someone thinking, “I’m superior to others.” It endorses a defective model of being that’s “self as an object.”

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    The thing is, only objects can be assessed and compared. That is essentially what the mind is doing when it comes up with the notions of superiority and inferiority – it forms fixed ideas about “I am a certain way,” and about how others are. A human cannot be compared; it’s one of those “does not apply” operations, just like dividing by zero.

    Continued feelings of superiority can become roadblocks when it comes to furthering progress and reaching a higher level of success. It’s like walking through life with blinders on, unable to see what is going on around you. Having this mindset can really stand in the way of self-improvement.

    Inferiority can be a tool for growth

    I get it though; feeling inferior just turns a day into another painful experience. We feel inferior when we engage in comparison. It comes from an ego-based perspective where we find ourselves or others lacking in some way. Quite honestly, this doesn’t benefit anyone involved. You can lose motivation and the desire to become more successful. It can even cause you to become unnecessarily hostile.

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    One must realize that it isn’t so much the comparison that is unhelpful, but rather how you approach it. The act of comparing isn’t the problem, it’s the meaning you attach to what you find when comparing.

    When you feel that envy is on the horizon, you know how uncomfortable you’re going to feel. Here is where you have to make a decision: You can either beat yourself up over the space between where you are currently and where they are, or you can ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person to get myself closer to where I want to be?” These options are based on ego gratification and validation, the other is based on self-compassion with the strong desire to live the best life you can. Of course, making a decision like this isn’t easy to do when you’re in the moment, but it is very possible.

    When you feel inferior and “not enough,” try and look at it as a chance for growth. If you’re comparing yourself to someone you aspire to be like, take the opportunity to reach out and ask them for advice and/or tips on how they’ve reached their level of success.

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    Embrace the rocky road you travel

    It’s hard for anyone to see the positives when it comes to feeling inferior, but they are there. It isn’t abnormal to feel envious of those who are more successful than you. It happens, and it’s okay to feel that way.

    What isn’t okay is to let yourself fall into a rut that is really hard to get out of. Today, people want all the benefits that come with success without having to do the hard work that comes along with it. A lot of people feel they deserve things handed to them on a silver platter. That’s where the superiority comes into play. It can make one very ignorant.

    You can be confident while still remaining unsure of yourself. You can feel satisfied with your level of success and still have the desire to reach higher ground. You can feel both superior and inferior when you have a healthy combination. It’s important to feel that you are doing a great job, but are still aspiring to be more to reach your fullest potential.

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    The choice is yours.

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    Erica Wagner

    Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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    Last Updated on July 21, 2021

    The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)

    The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder Work)
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    No matter how well you set up your todo list and calendar, you aren’t going to get things done unless you have a reliable way of reminding yourself to actually do them.

    Anyone who’s spent an hour writing up the perfect grocery list only to realize at the store that they forgot to bring the list understands the importance of reminders.

    Reminders of some sort or another are what turn a collection of paper goods or web services into what David Allen calls a “trusted system.”[1]

    A lot of people resist getting better organized. No matter what kind of chaotic mess, their lives are on a day-to-day basis because they know themselves well enough to know that there’s after all that work they’ll probably forget to take their lists with them when it matters most.

    Fortunately, there are ways to make sure we remember to check our lists — and to remember to do the things we need to do, whether they’re on a list or not.

    In most cases, we need a lot of pushing at first, for example by making a reminder, but eventually we build up enough momentum that doing what needs doing becomes a habit — not an exception.

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    From Creating Reminders to Building Habits

    A habit is any act we engage in automatically without thinking about it.

    For example, when you brush your teeth, you don’t have to think about every single step from start to finish; once you stagger up to the sink, habit takes over (and, really, habit got you to the sink in the first place) and you find yourself putting toothpaste on your toothbrush, putting the toothbrush in your mouth (and never your ear!), spitting, rinsing, and so on without any conscious effort at all.

    This is a good thing because if you’re anything like me, you’re not even capable of conscious thought when you’re brushing your teeth.

    The good news is you already have a whole set of productivity habits you’ve built up over the course of your life. The bad news is, a lot of them aren’t very good habits.

    That quick game Frogger to “loosen you up” before you get working, that always ends up being 6 hours of Frogger –– that’s a habit. And as you know, habits like that can be hard to break — which is one of the reasons why habits are so important in the first place.

    Once you’ve replaced an unproductive habit with a more productive one, the new habit will be just as hard to break as the old one was. Getting there, though, can be a chore!

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    The old saw about anything you do for 21 days becoming a habit has been pretty much discredited, but there is a kernel of truth there — anything you do long enough becomes an ingrained behavior, a habit. Some people pick up habits quickly, others over a longer time span, but eventually, the behaviors become automatic.

    Building productive habits, then, is a matter of repeating a desired behavior over a long enough period of time that you start doing it without thinking.

    But how do you remember to do that? And what about the things that don’t need to be habits — the one-off events, like taking your paycheck stubs to your mortgage banker or making a particular phone call?

    The trick to reminding yourself often enough for something to become a habit, or just that one time that you need to do something, is to interrupt yourself in some way in a way that triggers the desired behavior.

    The Wonderful Thing About Triggers — Reminders

    A trigger is anything that you put “in your way” to remind you to do something. The best triggers are related in some way to the behavior you want to produce.

    For instance, if you want to remember to take something to work that you wouldn’t normally take, you might place it in front of the door so you have to pick it up to get out of your house.

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    But anything that catches your attention and reminds you to do something can be a trigger. An alarm clock or kitchen timer is a perfect example — when the bell rings, you know to wake up or take the quiche out of the oven. (Hopefully you remember which trigger goes with which behavior!)

    If you want to instill a habit, the thing to do is to place a trigger in your path to remind you to do whatever it is you’re trying to make into a habit — and keep it there until you realize that you’ve already done the thing it’s supposed to remind you of.

    For instance, a post-it saying “count your calories” placed on the refrigerator door (or maybe on your favorite sugary snack itself)  can help you remember that you’re supposed to be cutting back — until one day you realize that you don’t need to be reminded anymore.

    These triggers all require a lot of forethought, though — you have to remember that you need to remember something in the first place.

    For a lot of tasks, the best reminder is one that’s completely automated — you set it up and then forget about it, trusting the trigger to pop up when you need it.

    How to Make a Reminder Works for You

    Computers and ubiquity of mobile Internet-connected devices make it possible to set up automatic triggers for just about anything.

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    Desktop software like Outlook will pop up reminders on your desktop screen, and most online services go an extra step and send reminders via email or SMS text message — just the thing to keep you on track. Sandy, for example, just does automatic reminders.

    Automated reminders can help you build habits — but it can also help you remember things that are too important to be trusted even to habit. Diabetics who need to take their insulin, HIV patients whose medication must be taken at an exact time in a precise order, phone calls that have to be made exactly on time, and other crucial events require triggers even when the habit is already in place.

    My advice is to set reminders for just about everything — have them sent to your mobile phone in some way (either through a built-in calendar or an online service that sends updates) so you never have to think about it — and never have to worry about forgetting.

    Your weekly review is a good time to enter new reminders for the coming weeks or months. I simply don’t want to think about what I’m supposed to be doing; I want to be reminded so I can think just about actually doing it.

    I tend to use my calendar for reminders, mostly, though I do like Sandy quite a bit.

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    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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    Reference

    [1] Getting Things Done: Trusted System

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