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90% Of People Waste Their Lives With This Mindset, And How To Be The Remaining 10%

90% Of People Waste Their Lives With This Mindset, And How To Be The Remaining 10%

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is this: being gentle with myself is a mandatory, daily practice. Failing a test in school, not being picked for a team project at work or failing to pass an exam that would qualify us in our career – these are examples of mistakes that can rouse up a host of negative statements about ourselves, to ourselves.

Because each of us are human in our existence. We are prone to making mistakes. Errors, poor decisions, bad acts, lapses in judgment – these blunders can lead to us to critically judge ourselves. However, mistakes can be a great way to learn new things about ourselves.

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Instead of being stuck in a rut, beating ourselves up for past mistakes, why not think more positively about being redirected? It is possible the mistake occurred, the oversight happened because we are not supposed to be here, but over there.

Beating yourself up

You suck. You are a failure. You are never going to win. You are always doing something wrong. These types of thoughts keep us unhappy, sad, miserable and on a path that does not spell H-O-P-E. It is as if we wake up with a bat in our right hand and all that hand can do is respond to a thought with a huge WACK over the head. OUCH!

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This is an ideal way to waste time, lower our self-esteem and solidify our seat in the stadium of losers. (It is where 90% of the population lives.)

If you are tired of beating yourself up with negative thoughts and imaginary sporting equipment, consider the following:

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Know yourself

I know who I am. I think the prerequisite of self-care is knowledge of the self. Recognizing what I am capable of, whether those acts are good, bad or indifferent, is one way to get to know who I am. So, if I can gently know myself, being kind to me when I succeed and fail, then I can run farther on life’s journey with a smile on my face.

In other words, I tried that, it wasn’t a good fit, I can move onto the next task and see if it is a better fit.

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You are good enough

No matter what I attempt to do, I am good enough. I am no less than the next person. I have the same blood running through my veins as they do. I am not better than anyone else – each person has their own unique set of talents and gifts. Plus, there are some things I can do and ideas I have that no one else thought of near me. I’m good enough.

I matter. My space on the planet is for a particular reason. I made it to earth to complete a particular assignment. So what if it takes me a few years to figure out exactly where I fit – I might as well enjoy the ride because, “I matter!”

How to be gentle with yourself

  1. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. The word mistake begins with a prefix that means ill or sick. Since most sick people don’t hold themselves hostage for being ill, it is a great idea for us to forgive ourselves for being ill.
  1. Practice patience. Giving ourselves time to continue learning and growing is a wise decision to gift ourselves.
  1. Acknowledge mistakes are life-learning process. From birth to the borders of the grave, we have a chance to learn, grow and become. What better vehicle for learning than a few, good old-fashioned mistakes.
  1. Relax. Inhale/exhale. Inhale positivity, exhale negativity surrounding the mistakes. Breath in wholeness, exhale despair.
  1. Move forward. Forget those things which are behind. It’s over now. Let the past be the past and move forward while looking forward.

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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