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90% Of People Waste Their Lives With This Mindset, And How To Be The Remaining 10%

90% Of People Waste Their Lives With This Mindset, And How To Be The Remaining 10%

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is this: being gentle with myself is a mandatory, daily practice. Failing a test in school, not being picked for a team project at work or failing to pass an exam that would qualify us in our career – these are examples of mistakes that can rouse up a host of negative statements about ourselves, to ourselves.

Because each of us are human in our existence. We are prone to making mistakes. Errors, poor decisions, bad acts, lapses in judgment – these blunders can lead to us to critically judge ourselves. However, mistakes can be a great way to learn new things about ourselves.

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Instead of being stuck in a rut, beating ourselves up for past mistakes, why not think more positively about being redirected? It is possible the mistake occurred, the oversight happened because we are not supposed to be here, but over there.

Beating yourself up

You suck. You are a failure. You are never going to win. You are always doing something wrong. These types of thoughts keep us unhappy, sad, miserable and on a path that does not spell H-O-P-E. It is as if we wake up with a bat in our right hand and all that hand can do is respond to a thought with a huge WACK over the head. OUCH!

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This is an ideal way to waste time, lower our self-esteem and solidify our seat in the stadium of losers. (It is where 90% of the population lives.)

If you are tired of beating yourself up with negative thoughts and imaginary sporting equipment, consider the following:

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Know yourself

I know who I am. I think the prerequisite of self-care is knowledge of the self. Recognizing what I am capable of, whether those acts are good, bad or indifferent, is one way to get to know who I am. So, if I can gently know myself, being kind to me when I succeed and fail, then I can run farther on life’s journey with a smile on my face.

In other words, I tried that, it wasn’t a good fit, I can move onto the next task and see if it is a better fit.

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You are good enough

No matter what I attempt to do, I am good enough. I am no less than the next person. I have the same blood running through my veins as they do. I am not better than anyone else – each person has their own unique set of talents and gifts. Plus, there are some things I can do and ideas I have that no one else thought of near me. I’m good enough.

I matter. My space on the planet is for a particular reason. I made it to earth to complete a particular assignment. So what if it takes me a few years to figure out exactly where I fit – I might as well enjoy the ride because, “I matter!”

How to be gentle with yourself

  1. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. The word mistake begins with a prefix that means ill or sick. Since most sick people don’t hold themselves hostage for being ill, it is a great idea for us to forgive ourselves for being ill.
  1. Practice patience. Giving ourselves time to continue learning and growing is a wise decision to gift ourselves.
  1. Acknowledge mistakes are life-learning process. From birth to the borders of the grave, we have a chance to learn, grow and become. What better vehicle for learning than a few, good old-fashioned mistakes.
  1. Relax. Inhale/exhale. Inhale positivity, exhale negativity surrounding the mistakes. Breath in wholeness, exhale despair.
  1. Move forward. Forget those things which are behind. It’s over now. Let the past be the past and move forward while looking forward.

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Michelle Owens

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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