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9 Uncommon Steps that are Key to Your Goal Setting Success

9 Uncommon Steps that are Key to Your Goal Setting Success

“Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.”—Les Brown

Everyone talks about goal setting, yet why are most goals never accomplished?

There are a few things that people aren’t talking about when it comes to goal setting. These are the keys that will be paramount to your success in attaining your goals.

Learn these keys and you will win in your goal setting. What you will find is that you will have to think about goal setting slightly differently to make it really work for you.

So here are the 9 uncommon steps that are key to your goal setting success:

1. Affirm to yourself that it is possible

This is the most commonly skipped step in goal setting. You have to know that you are capable of achieving your goal and you have to have the belief that you can attain this goal, that somehow, someway it could be done. Possibility leads to probability.

2. Toss away any thoughts of how your goal will be accomplished

To start we do not need to know how to attain our goal. Having a plan or being realistic is going to take away from the power of our imagination in that goal.

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For a moment, suspend critical thinking on how your goal is going to happen. Instead, dream of your goal being realized. What is most important is having a clear idea of where you want to end up. From this focus, you give your mind direction and purpose.

3. Make your goal compelling beyond belief

Now is the time for motivating yourself and imagining your goal. What you first want to do is focus on the pain of what will happen if you don’t realize this goal of yours.

Then when you have done that, try to vividly imagine the realization of this goal. Make it big, bright, and beautifully depicted in your mind. Determine what it will specifically mean for you.

Focusing on the pain of not attaining the goal and then the pleasure of reaching your triumph will give you intense motivation to get going. You do this so you have something to fight for. This will become essential when things get tough.

4. Commit to your goal

In 1519, Captain Hernán Cortés’ army arrived by boats in Veracruz prepared for war. His first order was for his crew to burn the ships that they just arrived in behind them on the shore. With the ships completely destroyed, there was no going back. His troops would win the battle and live or they would perish in the throes of defeat. He did this because retreating is easier when it is an option.

Where is it that you need to burn the ships behind you? This could mean throwing away all the junk food in your cabinets or getting rid of your addictive video games. It could mean letting go of that relationship that isn’t leading you towards your dreams. Make the decision to fully commit to your goal and let go of what is preventing you from doing so.

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5. Write your goal down

This is probably the most common advice, but it’s rarely acted on. In a study done by the Harvard Business school, researchers found a significant correlation between financial earnings and having written definable goals years earlier.

The study found that the 3% of the population they surveyed who had written goals 10 years previously were now earning more money than the combined amount of the 97% of people who did not have written goals at the time of the original survey.

When you write your goals down, there is an additional neuro-association connected with your goal and yourself. Your mind has an additional reference for this goal being something that you want to make a reality.

Putting your goal into writing and focusing your mind with this added action will help you achieve your goal.

6. Tell other people about your goal

Now that you are committed to the attainment of your goal, let your friends know. This can add an added level of community and accountability.

Some friends will keep you accountable, but more importantly telling someone else motivates you to stay true to what you told that person about your desire to accomplish that goal. The good friends will motivate and encourage you.

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These people can help you develop a community of positivity. The bad friends will dissuade you and tell you that you can’t do it.

7. Disregard your non-believing, nay-saying friends

You will have friends that don’t believe in you and whether or not you can achieve your goals. It’s not necessary to unfriend them, but you should keep great distance from these people.

It’s important to know that those doubters are not necessarily bad people and they might just be jealous of what you might accomplish, but you need all the positive support and energy helping to move you towards your goals and not any of that negative energy.

At a later time, those doubters might just come back and want you to help them.

8. Surround yourself with at least one believer

In the same way that you have doubters, you are going to have fans. There are going to be some of your friends that absolutely want you to attain your goals and live out your dreams.

Spend more time with these people and do everything you can to help them support you as well. With this positive energy, you can develop a positive community and a supportive mastermind group of people who are focused on winning.

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Things are going to get tough, you will need some believers and fans.

9. Take your first step now

Identify your plan for achieving your goal as it is now. This plan will likely change a few times, but identify the steps that you think it will take and then get in motion.

Break down the tasks into smaller chunks and when you have the first step, get moving. When you start now, instead of tomorrow, you build momentum and get yourself moving toward the attainment of your goal.

Sometimes starting is the hardest part, so get it out of the way right now.

If you want uncommon results in your life it makes sense to think uncommonly and exceptionally. Think of your goal setting differently.

Find a goal worthy of you and take these steps to the realization of it in your life. What you will find is that having this worthy goal will inspire you to new heights of greatness. It is only you that is holding yourself back from living the life that you want. Do what it takes to accomplish your dreams because you are worth it.

What is your biggest goal and how can you start now?

Featured photo credit: Arijitrex via pixabay.com

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Shawn Schweier

Life Success Coach

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Last Updated on February 20, 2019

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with Them and Enjoy the Ride

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with Them and Enjoy the Ride

Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?”

Why is this so critically important to you?

The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.

Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.

1. Know That Fear Is Real, but Can Be Overcome

Right now around the world people are facing fear — real fear. Fear that I pray my children and I will never experience. Does that lessen my fears or your fears in your relativity safe 21st century life?

When I look at the world we all live in, I find that fear like so many other emotions can mean so many different things to so many different people:

  • The child who has to be physically dragged to their first day of school.
  • The man facing the judge.
  • The woman with her hand poised over the buttons over her phone because she has to walk down a dark corridor late at night alone.
  • The man as the surgeon says “count backwards from 10 Mr Smith.”
  • The woman that’s told “We are sorry, we can’t help you.”
  • The man that faces the empty circle of a gun and prays for his very existence.

These and a million more (Portrayed in every kind of movie, book or song you could imagine) are what make us human. We face fear and somehow move forward or are stopped in our tracks.

Like the rabbit in the headlights of the car that veers off through the field away from the tyres of the car or stays still praying for salvation. Like someone will save them. Sound familiar?

Fear is huge. Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

2. Accept Your Fear

Firstly if you aren’t facing the barrel of the gun, atrocities that make the news or impeding death, that’s a good start. However it doesn’t mean your fear is any less real.

We are quick to say “I can’t moan, my life is not as bad as X.” While in theory, that’s honorable your appreciation of Mr. or Mrs. X’s horrific life won’t change anything directly. So accept your fear is relative to you.

And here’s what can be done.

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3. Get Some Perspective

I found myself asking anyone that would answer “what is your worst fear”. The answer that intrigued me the most came from my daughter (15 years old and she usually has a copy of Fight the Fear – my book – in her school bag so she can help someone else be as positive and confident as her. No matter what life throws up.)

And her fear, surprised me — heights. I pointed out that we live in a sprawling bungalow (one storey) and the highest she goes is two storeys’ at school! She laughed but added, fear isn’t like that Mum. I know it’s not a real fear, but it’s like when you stand on a chair and feel unsafe.

That girl will go far. Because she truly gets fear.

We know something is scary and yet we still do it. Why? Because we have a perspective to the fear. When you lose perspective, it can feel too big, and too scary.

So look around you to get some perspective on your fear:

  • Are you really at risk?
  • Will this kill you?
  • Which leads us on to..
  • If the worse was to happen what would it be?

4. Hold a Hand

As a coach, it is my job to holds someone’s metaphorical hand and help them face a fear.

Like the child petrified of the thunder storm or the teen that can’t get back in a car again after failing their test, your job as a parent is to reassure, encourage, enable and motivate someone to face something that ideally they never would choose to again.

We know many of our fears aren’t real. However, it is only when someone guides us with love, respect, lack of judgement and safety are we able to get through fear. And trust me, you can get through your fears. I’ve seen it so many times.

Ask yourself:

  • If the worse were to happen, what would that be?
  • Could that really happen?
  • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
  • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through it’s wily evil ways and move forward.

5. Know Whose Hand You Hold Either Physically or Emotionally

This helps with fears for the rest of your life.

Think of someone you can always rely on (and ideally you won’t just answer yourself because that adds a lot of pressure to your existence!) And you will find that you’ve already found a way to get through fear.

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The beauty of this is that it means that fear becomes part of life not something to be feared and shied away from.

It means you know you can turn to your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.”

For one moment, think about it from the other person’s view point. When we get to help other people we feel valued, loved, respected and lots of other positive emotions and we get a good dose of positive chemicals setting off in our bodies too.

Your fear, and your determination to fight it, helped someone else too. Now that’s cool right?

6. Understand That There Are Some Things Fear Will Never Touch

I like to find role models in life — people who have faced heroism, history changing moments, war, atrocities, miracles, life saving inventions.

Not everyone was looking for greatness, however they all found it. And one of my favourite books to date is written about Alistair Urquhart, the forgotten highlander. If this doesn’t get turned into a film in the future, then no man’s story is likely to.

Alistair went through the most horrific experiences in the 2nd world war. If you think of one of the awful things that happened back then in our world, Alistair went through at least 3 of them! Asked afterwards how did you cope? He talked about how whatever they did to his body, no matter how they starved, tortured, threatened or mocked him, they couldn’t have his mind. In his mind he was free.

Of all the people’s voices I’ve heard in my head over the years, this is one of those statements that reminds me anything is possible if you have faith and hope.

Look for the things in life that fear can’t touch. They will create confidence and faith for the future, whatever you face. And they will give you a sense of why being you is awesome.

Of all the billions of people on this planet, no one will have an answer identical to yours!

7. Process Your Fears to Carry on with Life

Being brave is not about sticking your chest out and smiling regardless of what hell you endure. It is about finding a way to emotionally process your fears to be able to keep going.

I have a tool kit of things I can rely on – tools, strategies, techniques. They include people to hug or talk to, music. hobbies, walks on the beach and even my favourite food. It sounds mad but at the times where I have questioned “how will I get through this?” I’ve found immense joy in doing the most unlikely of thing that makes me smile.

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It may be a short lived moment of happiness. However, it reminded that nothing stays the same and I can find away.

One client told me that it was crazy when it felt like their world was falling around their ears to run a bath to the brim (you don’t waste water) get the best bath oils, light too many candles, lock the door and drink a glass of bubbly (champagne is only for special occasions.)

Did that moment fix the disaster that my clients life felt? No, however it gave them a moment of calm and the brain is far quicker to find solutions, resolve and motivation to keep going when you do that.

It may feel like madness to do something you love, however it can be a powerful way to help you find solutions to the fears you face in life.

8. Assume the Worse

If you read the statement from the client above. Notice how they assumed it was wrong to fill the bath up to the top? How bubbly is only for special occasions?

Think how naughty they felt to be doing something that was not allowed?

  • Think about what age it may have made them feel?
  • Think about how they feel about champagne?
  • What special moments it’s been a part of in their lives?

And you can see how the assumptions they made about their “right” to have these things was not healthy.

When I drag the assumptions out of people’s words for them to see, they are often struck by how negative the words make them feel.

Don’t assume your words aren’t impacting on you. You can go through fear and actually enjoy the ride when you take the time to understand how you are letting words get to you.

9. Take a Fear That Feels Insurmountable Right Now.

If you were to repeat it to me out loud, what would you say?

Would you have blame on yourself in there? Would you assume others can do it and it’s just you? Would you feel small, unsuccessful, useless, unworthy?

Usually, when you do this exercise, you are able to spot the untruths that run wild in your head convincing you that you are doomed. And rarely when we are faced with our assumptions is there is a lot of evidence to them.

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10. You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

One fear does not define your life – be mindful of that. It is likely to lead you to thinking of all the times you’ve succeeded and bring a moment of calm, confidence and faith back to you.

11. Go with Fear

When you learn to go with fear, you could find yourself actually having fun, no seriously – having fun.

I have a few amazing clients I’m working with right now who would describe themselves as life long worriers, or pessimists. In the past that has served them well, enabling them to keep safe, steer clear of risks and even develop strategies in the event of disasters. However, now they find it’s becoming hard to break the cycle and they really want to because it’s holding them back.

Notice how they’ve found their hidden fears and want to face them?

One client said “I knew this was going to be tough, and I knew I couldn’t fight it alone and I knew you would be the one to help me.” Before I sat an incredibly successful, confident, capable business owner with a family and a social life to die for.

However, I’ve learned that the most successful looking lives can hide things that impact on life, success, love, happiness and business.

We didn’t start with the fear that they felt was holding them back, we broke the fear down, and found lots of little obstacles that had been deemed as “life” and “unchangeable” and “that’s just the way it is” by developing awareness to the little steps on the road to their obstacles to happiness and success they were able to tackle them in a different way.

12. Discover Great Skills in Your Scary Moments

And in that clients words “I came here to work with you to grow my company, and my own personal skills. I didn’t expect to get the children to be cleaning up after themselves and my partner being more attentive! It all feels a little magic.”

The moral is that out of the scariest of moments, we can find great skills we didn’t know we had. Find better, healthier, happier ways to live and find ways to enjoy life more. (And have a bit of magic!)

What a great place to be in ready for the next fear that thinks it’s going to get in the way of you, right?

13. Own Your Fear

Think back over these tips and come up with at least one example for each one. Write them down. Put them on your phone. Turn them into a piece of art. Turn them into a poem. Frame them. Go for a fast walk across the fields, beach, down town and repeat these things in your head to the sound of your feet on the ground.

We rarely take the time to appreciate how far we have come, how much we can achieve or what we are capable of – by really owning the tips in this article you will have given your brain a big fat dose of “Damn right I can do this!” and the motivation and accountability to say “Let’s find a way” through any fear.

You can’t help but feel good when you see that can you? And fear doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

More Resources About Fighting Fear

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

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