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Key Questions: Why Not Me? The Healthy Alternative

Key Questions: Why Not Me? The Healthy Alternative

Why me? We all ask ourselves this question at some point. Life is like a beautiful but blemished creature, not perfect, but still you don’t want to look away. We human kind seemingly only see the blemishes at times.

When the trying and misunderstood troubles swell like the menacing clouds of great storms we seldom recognize the life, the growth that comes after the storm subsides. Instead we shake our heads and ask ourselves why me? The questions that we ask ourselves determine how we will perform during our various tests. So the next time you wonder “why” instead wonder “why not me?”.

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Overcoming selfishness has Lasting Rewards.

When we wonder why the fates, or the universe, or karma, or God or whoever else could possibly allow misfortune into our paths has chosen us, we show how crippled we are with entitlement. In America especially we as a people have glaring entitlement issues. This “why me” type of question sheds light on that truth even when we alone in ourselves know it. What makes us so much better than anyone else that we believe bad things should not happen to us?

Instead of adopting selfishness in our life’s philosophy we can change our key questions that we ask ourselves simply by asking “why not me?” My son was diagnosed with autism and when I asked myself that question “why not me?”, I began to deal with the disorder properly. I started seeing autism as a formidable foe that another family may not been able to handle. A formidable foe but not a stumbling block.

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Why not me? Why can’t I conquer this challenge? Why can’t my son achieve greatness? Why can’t I learn to see autism as a blessing? Why isn’t autism a gift? Remove selfishness from every equation and suddenly our negatives become our positives.

The Question “Why Me” Makes Us Consider Our Lives In The Worst Way.

Misfortune visits everyone. Difficulties in life do not respect your person or bank account or heritage they just come to everyone. At one time or another, you will face aspects of life that you do not want to face.

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The sooner we realize that we will inevitably be confronted with pain, loss, and discouraging, sometimes unbelievable circumstances of all shapes and sizes the better. The key questions we choose in our lives, will either help us to deal with that sobering idea much better or lead us into a self deprecating world view.
When we ask “Why me?” We have to answer the question. Whether consciously or true or unconsciously and false, we will start to find our own faults that we plug into our “reasons” for why generally negatively viewed occurrences have occurred in our lives.

For example, that parents whose children suffer from varying disorders often believe their child have these disorders because of their own life decisions but that is often times not the case.

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We must guard ourselves from falling victim to the blame and guilt-ridden game. No one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean that those faults in turn evolve into the negatives our lives face in the future. When we ask “Why me?” the answers eventually become “…because of me.”

The Wisdom of Solomon

Let us be reminded of what wise Solomon taught. “But time and chance happeneth to them all.” Solomons lesson remains true not just with parents but with everyone else as well. Time and chance make the decisions not our superstitious doubts, or our fears, or our failures.

When we let go of our selfishness by asking ourselves key questions like “Why not me?”, we embark down the path of solutions. Once we realize that bad happens to every single person without rhyme or reason, then avoiding self-deprication and selfish question like “Why me?”, makes sense. If we reject that notion, then the path of selfishness and problems grooves deeper.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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