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Key Questions: Why Not Me? The Healthy Alternative

Key Questions: Why Not Me? The Healthy Alternative

Why me? We all ask ourselves this question at some point. Life is like a beautiful but blemished creature, not perfect, but still you don’t want to look away. We human kind seemingly only see the blemishes at times.

When the trying and misunderstood troubles swell like the menacing clouds of great storms we seldom recognize the life, the growth that comes after the storm subsides. Instead we shake our heads and ask ourselves why me? The questions that we ask ourselves determine how we will perform during our various tests. So the next time you wonder “why” instead wonder “why not me?”.

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Overcoming selfishness has Lasting Rewards.

When we wonder why the fates, or the universe, or karma, or God or whoever else could possibly allow misfortune into our paths has chosen us, we show how crippled we are with entitlement. In America especially we as a people have glaring entitlement issues. This “why me” type of question sheds light on that truth even when we alone in ourselves know it. What makes us so much better than anyone else that we believe bad things should not happen to us?

Instead of adopting selfishness in our life’s philosophy we can change our key questions that we ask ourselves simply by asking “why not me?” My son was diagnosed with autism and when I asked myself that question “why not me?”, I began to deal with the disorder properly. I started seeing autism as a formidable foe that another family may not been able to handle. A formidable foe but not a stumbling block.

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Why not me? Why can’t I conquer this challenge? Why can’t my son achieve greatness? Why can’t I learn to see autism as a blessing? Why isn’t autism a gift? Remove selfishness from every equation and suddenly our negatives become our positives.

The Question “Why Me” Makes Us Consider Our Lives In The Worst Way.

Misfortune visits everyone. Difficulties in life do not respect your person or bank account or heritage they just come to everyone. At one time or another, you will face aspects of life that you do not want to face.

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The sooner we realize that we will inevitably be confronted with pain, loss, and discouraging, sometimes unbelievable circumstances of all shapes and sizes the better. The key questions we choose in our lives, will either help us to deal with that sobering idea much better or lead us into a self deprecating world view.
When we ask “Why me?” We have to answer the question. Whether consciously or true or unconsciously and false, we will start to find our own faults that we plug into our “reasons” for why generally negatively viewed occurrences have occurred in our lives.

For example, that parents whose children suffer from varying disorders often believe their child have these disorders because of their own life decisions but that is often times not the case.

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We must guard ourselves from falling victim to the blame and guilt-ridden game. No one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean that those faults in turn evolve into the negatives our lives face in the future. When we ask “Why me?” the answers eventually become “…because of me.”

The Wisdom of Solomon

Let us be reminded of what wise Solomon taught. “But time and chance happeneth to them all.” Solomons lesson remains true not just with parents but with everyone else as well. Time and chance make the decisions not our superstitious doubts, or our fears, or our failures.

When we let go of our selfishness by asking ourselves key questions like “Why not me?”, we embark down the path of solutions. Once we realize that bad happens to every single person without rhyme or reason, then avoiding self-deprication and selfish question like “Why me?”, makes sense. If we reject that notion, then the path of selfishness and problems grooves deeper.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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